Attack of Giygas
by HyperInuyasha
Summary: COMPLETED - After an attack on the Smashers, Giygas and a band of cronies plan on taking over the entire Nintendo dimension, and the only ones standing in their way are an idiotic fox, a competent yet small knight, and a jerkass Pokemon. God help us.
1. Start of Darkness

**_Attack of Giygas_**

_-A dumb adventure story by HyperInuyasha-_

_Warning: Story may plunge into deep despair in later chapters. And that's not good for a humor story, but it's still funny, so get over it. Love, HyperInuyasha. Aka, the idiot who introduced himself twice._

_Enjoy the story, remember to review, blah blah, get the popcorn, and start reading!_

* * *

"Darkness. The horrible creature was made of darkness. He was a red swirling vortex of pure darkness. Me and my friends were unable to hurt him. He kept striking us with godlike powers. We prayed that something would rescue us..."

"Our prayers kept being absorbed by the darkness. But then, as if God himself came to help, one big prayer erupted and banished him... We're not sure if he's dead or not... But we survived, saving the world at last!"

_Prologue: Start of Darkness_

"Boring." muttered Pikachu. Everyone was sitting at the dining room of the Smash Castle. It was the last days of Brawl, and everyone was packing up to head to their own solar system. Everyone was there to enjoy a huge feast, and they were telling stories. Ness frowned, having told his side of the story.

"But it was very traumatic for me. It was also awesome." said Ness.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. We all saved our worlds several times. Except for Captain Falcon." said Pikachu rudely. Captain Falcon scowled.

"FALCON PUNCH!" yelled Captain Falcon, throwing his cup of punch at Pikachu.

"Oh gee, a pun. How wonderful." said Pikachu.

"Stop being rude Pikachu." said Meta Knight. He had good mannerisms and a sense of honor, and was disgusted at Pikachu's rudeness.

"SOMEONE STOLE MY FOOD!" yelled Fox, getting up from his chair. Everyone stared at him.

"...It's right there. ...On your plate." said Ness.

"Oh." said Fox. Dinner continued on without a hitch... until Pit approached Meta Knight.

"Hey Meta Knight..." said Pit.

"How are you Pit?" asked Meta Knight. Pit then took out a Porky Statue trophy from his pocket. However, what made it different from the others was the fact it had glowing eyes.

"I found this weird trophy in New Pork City last week. Even more weirder, New Pork city dissapeared after I found this." said Pit. Indeed, New Pork City was no longer where it usually floated; all idiots that went into the New Pork City teleporter found themselves splattered on the ground. Poor Fox.

"Hmm... That is weird." admitted Meta Knight.

"Can you examine it. You're a good guy who's skilled in the ninja arts. I think." said Pit.

"I'm a swordsman." said Meta Knight.

"Whatever. Here you go!" said Pit, handing Meta Knight the Porky Statue trophy. Fox leaned in to see the statue.

"Oooh! OOOH! What's that thing?" asked Fox.

"I don't know. But I feel as if something big is going to happen..." said Meta Knight.

* * *

_Later on..._

"Order, order." said the Ancient Minister, aka, R.O.B. He got everyone's attention. "I regret to inform everyone that Master Hand won't be seeing us off. His injuries was worse than we originally thought." Everyone grumbled, remembering the Subspace Emissary incident. "But... He'll be out of the hospital by the time we start our next tournament next year!" Everyone cheered, jeered, clapped, hooplah'd. "Now, I suggest everyone start packing. Meta Knight will be carpooling everyone."

Meta Knight blinked. "I never agreed to that."

"Well too bad. Now everyone, go back to your dorms!" said the Ancient Minister. Everyone left to the dining room, talking to each other on the way. Pikachu and Fox caught up with a muttering Meta Knight.

"Hey buddy! Glad that you're dropping us off." said Pikachu.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice, but I never agreed to that, I don't know why..." muttered Meta Knight.

"Cheer up Meta Knight! That's not a bad thing! A bad thing is being round and pudgy!" said Fox.

"..." Meta Knight stared at him.

"...Oh right." said Fox.

* * *

_Meanwhile, nearby the castle..._

_"My minions. We are heading toward the place where all those wretched heroes are. There, we shall capture all of them. As soon as we deal with them, we shall start our REAL goals..." _said an ominous voice.

* * *

_Meanwile, back at the castle..._

"Hmm. It's dark already. Even though it's only 3 o clock." said Meta Knight.

"It's probably a winter thing." said Pikachu.

"No, no. This is too weird. In fact, I think the skies slightly red." said Meta Knight.

"I think your mask is on a lil' too tight." said Fox happily.

"Yes well... WAIT! What are you doing in my room? OUT!" yelled Meta Knight. He pushed Fox and Pikachu out of his room and slammed the door.

"...I think he's happy." said Fox.

"ARRRRRRGH!" screamed a voice. Then came Pokemon Trainer, stumbling through the hallway, covered in red dust. He falls unconsious as Fox and Pikachu run toward him.

"Pokemon Trainer? ...Are you asleep?" asked Fox.

"Score! I got his wallet!" said Pikachu.

"Piakchu, even I know this is a serious problem." said Fox.

"I know. I hope it's not the crazy gas thing again..." said Pikachu.

Then, almost as if on cue, the nearby window opens up, and red gas begins to enter the hallway. Pikachu ran to Meta Knight's door and knocked on it wildly.

"META KNIGHT! OPEN THE DOOR! I DON'T WANT TO BE CRAZY! I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" screamed Pikachu. Fox is giggling. Pikachu turned to see Fox being enveloped in the gas.

"Hee hee... This tickles." said Fox.

"NOT YOU TOO!" screamed Pikachu. However, instead of going crazy like expected, Fox fainted. He was covered in red dust. That's when Meta Knight finally opened the door.

"What do you wan-" began Meta Knight. But then Pikachu runs into the room, dragging Fox behind him. He then closes the door. Meta Knight looks at Fox. "Oh dear. Did Fox get drunk again?"

"No! Some weird gas thing knocked him out, so did Pokemon Trainer!" said Pikachu.

**"Hello everyone. This is the person invading your castle at the moment. Please come up to the roof of your castle. If you don't, you shall be killed on the spot. Have a nice day!" **said a voice on the intercom.

"Invader? Quickly, we must reach the top of the castle." said Meta Knight.

Meta Knight and Pikachu dragging Fox leaves the room to see that the entire hallway is covered in red gas. However, the gas was no longer affecting anyone. They journied toward the top of the castles, encountering half of the Smashers unconsious. At the stairway at the top of the tower, they found the other half of the Smashers being lead by the Ancient Minister.

"Okay everyone. We do not yet know of the threat behind these doors. So carry your weapons." said the Ancinet Minster. But then, the doors suddenly swung open, and a lightning bolt comes through, piercing through the Ancient Minister. He falls onto the ground, attempting to reboot himself.

_"Drop your weapons... I wish no harm... yet." _said a voice. The Smashers walks through the doors and encounters a red swirling darkness. In the middle of the red darkness was a face. The face of Giygas. Everyone looked terribly scared, some even wetting themselves.

"Pfft. Told you guys he was scary." said Ness.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Future Non-In-Character Author: Oh sup I noticed that this didn't have any ending author notes, so I decided to add some. To new reader, this previously didn't have author notes down here. You may also notice that my writing is significantly better here than in the actual chapter. It's okay. I sucked back then. Refuse to edit though cause I'm lazy. Yep, nothing will ever change. :D So, post-completion of the story, I'll add extra author notes to the chapter ends to show my opinion on my past writing, so look forward to that. Whether you wanted to or not. Welp, gotta go back into my time machine and get back to writing. Allonsy!_


	2. Escape From Home

_Chapter 1: Escape From Home_

_I actually made this chapter all the way in November, but for some reason, it didn't publish. Plus, I didn't pre-write the chapter or save another copy, so I was forced to re-write it. But I have many other things to do, such as RPG Maker, or making comics on Smackjeeves. After a few weeks, I finally got the guts to re-write this. I hope you enjoy._

_Purposeful Edit: Woah! It's March now! By the time I finish this story, it'll be 2020!_

_

* * *

_

Everyone looked at Giygas in terror. It's not everyday that you stare into the eyes of darkness itself.

"...OHMYGODYOU'REALIVE." said Ness.

_"Hello Smashers. Glad to see that all of you have assembled here. It makes easy target practice. I'm here to give you a choice. Me and my subordinates are going to try to take over the universe. But we couldn't let the most powerful heroes in the universe run free. Either you join us, or I will personally strike you down myself." _said Giygas.

"Pfft. Yeah, rig-" began Falco. But then a tornado came out of Giygas and sucks Falco within it. The tornado then dissappeared, with Falco nowhere in sight.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. AND I'M GOING TO DIE WITHOUT MAKEUP!" screamed Jigglypuff. She went bye-bye into a tornado.

"Hey... What are you going to do to them?" asked R.O.B, as he exited from his flaming Ancient Minister costume. A lightning bolt was hurled directly at R.O.B. He exploded easily, leaving behind a trophy, which was at Mewtwo's feet.

"Hey Mewtwo! Revive him!" yelled Pikachu. Mewtwo picked it up... and threw it right off the edge of the castle.

"Mewtwo! How could you?" asked Meta Knight.

"Retribution. Me and my Melee friends were offered a position in Giygas' new world order as soon as we found out that we aren't invited to your next tournament." said Mewtwo. Like that, he and the rest of the Melee characters teleported away.

"Hey! Where did you-a go?" asked Mario.

_"To our base of operations." _said Giygas. The clouds around him parted, revealing New Pork City ("How the hell do we not notice a floating city?" wondered Pikachu). A giant screen turned on to show Porky. Everyone screamed.

"Oh my god. My intel for today didn't tell me of a pig wearing clothes." said Snake.

"I didn't mention anything Snake." said Otacon through Snake's transmitter... thing. Yeah, I still don't know after a year.

"Can I blast it out of the sky?" asked Samus.

"Hello losers! ...Hey! Don't think I can't see you Lucas! How's your mom? Oh that's right..." said Porky, who then grinned evily.

"YOU SHALL DIE FATTY!" yelled Lucas, who was prepared to blast him out of the sky with a good Starstorm. But he was blasted away with lightning before anything could happen.

_"No touchy." _said Giygas. _"Now then, here's your last chance. Do you want to stand by me, or be utterly destroyed?"_

"No. I fight for my friends. I fight for my honor. I fight for my cake." said Ike.

"What he said!" said Bowser.

"Hmm... Cake..." thought Kirby.

_"...Very well then. I'm giving you all 10 minutes to leave this place. After those 10 minutes, I shall consume everyone left behind." _said Giygas. Everyone screamed and ran toward the stairs... where Piakchu and Meta Knight left Fox.

"Hey guys! Hope nothing went horribly wrong while I was unconsiou-" began Fox. He is trampeled upon by many people before he finished saying unconsious. Pikachu picked him up.

"GET UP! We need to get out of here!" yelled Pikachu.

"Why is everyone heading toward my ship, I don't see why they can't use their owns..." muttered Meta Knight.

Five minutes later, all of the Smashers has managed to gather within the Halberd. It seemed reasonable that they were all on Meta Knight's ship because all of the Pokemon and Assist Trophies hijacked everyone else's ships.

"Hooray! Our ride didn't get jacked!" said Fox.

"Glub glub glub glub..." said a Goldeen that tried to single-handedly steal the Halberd. Piakchu picked him up and punted him out the nearest window.

"I WANTED A GROUDON, NOT YOU!" yelled Pikachu.

"Piakchu, enough punting innocent people out windows. Turn on those switches. Fox, you may be... unsufficiently smart, but you are capable of piloting a ship, correct?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yes! My daddy taught me all that he knows!" said Fox.

"Good, you handle the elevation, since this ship isn't like your Arwings. Alright, let's try to get out of here." said Meta Knight, approaching the steering wheel. Pikachu switched on several switches, activating some of the ships functions. Fox elevated the ship just high enough so that it could get through the ship hanger. Meta Knight spun the steering wheel and the Halberd took a sharp turn - it was time to fly.

"Hey Meta Knight." said Fox.

"Yes Fox?" asked Meta Knight.

"Why is a huge cosmic creature letting us go free if he could destroy us all right now?" asked Fox.

"Honestly, I do not know. But he's giving us only 10 minutes to escape." said Meta Knight.

"Wait, when did we leave!" yelled Pikachu.

"Um... 9 minutes and 59 seconds ago and oh crud." said Meta Knight. The windows in the control room suddenly broke open, letting in red darkness.

"OH FU-" began Pikachu.

"I remember that stuff. At first, it tickled. Then horrible pain happened. It was neat though." said Fox.

"Quickly! We must escape! Hopefully there's some escape pods." said Meta Knight. They left the control room and ran toward the escape pod hanger. There, they found something much better than an escape pod: Samus' ship.

"Wow... This ship is so..." began Fox.

"Awesome?" suggested Pikachu.

"I was going to say orange."

"What? There's an awesome ship in front of you, and you only care about the color?"

"I find orange an awesome color."

"Shh... I think there's someone in the ship..." said Meta Knight. As if on cue, a burst of energy was shot at them. Samus was a few feet away, glaring at them.

"No, this is my ship. Get off or I'll blast you guys to bits." said Samus.

"You wouldn't want to hurt me, right? You can hurt the other guys. Remember, we were best friends!" said Pikachu.

"...You tried to-" began Samus.

"My I remind you this is not M rated?" said Meta Knight.

"..." said Samus. Yeah, I don't know how you say silence.

"SUPER NINJA AWESOME FOX FORCE MOVE ATTACK!" said Fox. He jumps at Samus, preparing to kick her. She grabs his leg and throws him to the floor.

"EVEN MORE AWESOMER PIKACHU FORCE MOVE ATTACK!" said Pikachu. While Samus was distracted by Fox, Pikachu headbutted her, sending her through the door of her own ship. Pikachu quickly hit the "close doors" button before Samus could react. "Thanks for being a distraction Fox."

"...I was a distraction?" asked Fox, who was in obvious pain. The ship rocked all of the sudden, apparently being attacked by Giygas.

"We'll all be in obvious pain if we don't get out of here." said Pikachu. Way to break the fourth wall. Or at least what's left of it.

"Forgive my friend Hyper. Pikachu, I'm working on our escape." said Meta Knight.

"Ooooh... I'm pretty sure I don't have a hyperdrive button in my ship..." said Fox, who pressed said button.

"No Fox-" began Meta Knight. But it was too late. Samus' ship gave a sudden lurch and then shot off into a dimensional portal. Or something. Well, try to imagine it as a Star Wars styled hyperdrive thing.

Meanwhile, the Halberd was consumed into the darkness. However, everyone was keeping track of time, so they managed to evacuate as well. Except Samus, who still managed to escape, but is forced to swim out to a tiny island and call a space taxi to help her. But this story isn't about her. It's about the three idiots. So, now that everyone is gone, let's switch over to Giygas and friends.

"Yes! We totally pwn'd them!" said Roy.

_"They managed to escape. I can feel it. Roy, go gather all our other comrades. We must call a meeting..." _said Giygas.

_To be continued..._


	3. A Meeting and SPAAAAAAACE!

_Attack of Giygas_

_Chapter 2 - A Meeting and SPAAAAAACE!_

_Author's Note: Sorry for not updating. Again. To make up for it, I combined the next three chapters. Enjoy!_

* * *

Giygas looked over his new castle. He had successfully driven out the Smashers, as well as seperated them. New Pork City drifted down, landing right next to Smash Castle.

"Sweet! We totally pwn'd those n00bs!" laughed Porky.

_"What have I said about using Internet speak?" _said Giygas.

"I shouldn't say it because you are old and don't understand the Internet." said Porky.

_"I'm angered, but correct. Summon the others and bring them to the Smash Castle conference room. Now that we have succeeded taking over the castle, I must get to know my new minions." _said Giygas. As Porky went on to that, a bit of Giygas disconnected from it's body and floated into the castle. The red cloud took shape, becoming a Mewtwo-ish creature. Before he had become Giygas, he was Giegue, a normal alien. He doesn't use the form often though, as he only uses it to personally talk to people. And eat, since it's impossible to find giant food for his normal food.

Porky had done a fast job, as there were many people waiting for him. First there was Porky, then there was a mage like character who was fond of his appearence. Sitting next to him was a little girl, who had an aura of cruelness. Flying next to her was some sort of dragon. Across from him was a ghost wearing a crown, as well as Mewtwo, who was chosen to represent the Melee cast. All of them combined shall bring great evil to the universe.

"Gentlemen and little girl. I would like to thank you for joining my conquest. Your applications are impressive. Although, one of you has horrible hand writing..." said Giygas.

"Hey! Don't blame me! I have no opposable thumbs! Look! I have claws! CLAWS!" yelled Ridley.

"Thank you for wasting 10 seconds of our lives. As punishment, you'll be murdered 10 seconds before you're destined to die." said Giygas.

"Um, what?" asked Ridley.

"Mark that 12 seconds. Now then, I invited you all here so I could personally get to know you all. You, magical mage thing, explain your existance and give your reason why you continue existing." said Giygas.

"Right then. My name is Vaati, a wind mage. I come from Hyrue, where I attempted to take over Hyrue by freezing the princess in stone. I would have become the new fabulous king if it weren't for Toon Link and my old master running in and killing me. Then, my spirit was sealed into the Four Sword..." explained Vaati.

"Wait, I thought Minish Cap came after Four Swords?" said the little girl next to him.

"The author seems to have forgotten the Zelda timeline. And even if he remembered, it's awfully vauge. Now then, I was released from my rather boring prison and I was free to become the fabulous king I deserve to be! But no one liked my fashion sense, so I decided to lay waste to Hyrue!" yelled Vaati.

"...That's not what happened. At all." said the little girl again.

"SILENCE! WHO'S THE WONDERFUL MAN TALKING! ME! So anyway, Toon Linka and a bunch of clones beat me again. But I managed to revive myself with a Phoenix Wright. Or Phoenix Up. Whatever. The important thing is, I'm back and I'm looking for revenge." said Vaati.

"...You seem to care a lot about appearences." said Giygas, as Vaati began combing his hair.

"Hey, I'm not going to be a good king, but I want to be a good looking king!" yelled Vaati.

"Moving on. Little girl, impress us, or I shall feed you to that dragon thing." said Giygas.

"I resent that!" yelled Ridley.

"Shh. I'm talking. My name is Ashley, and I'm an employee at Wario Ware Inc. I only took the job so I could get tuition money for Magic High. But when Wario left, I took over his company! We still make microgames, sure, but while the public didn't know it, I've been practicing spells on my own employees! They cried, and even threatened to call the police! Hah! But they are easily tempted by higher pay! I've been expanding my spell library, so I may use it to massacre the most strongest company in the world... Wallmart." said Ashley. Everyone gasped.

"You're going to destroy Wall-Mart!" said the ghost in disbelief.

"Indeed. They've been strong for too long. Once the economy collapses due to their destruction, I shall be there to pick of the remnants and become ruler of the world! ...But in the meantime, conquering more worlds and mass murder is just as appealing." said Ashley.

"Impressive. You're ranking high on my minion list. Here, a gift." said Giygas.

"How come I don't get a gift?" asked Vaati.

"I don't like your face." Suddenly, a trophy fell out of the sky and landed in Ashley's lap. It was the trophy of Lucas. Ashley started melting the trophy with her wand for fun. "Now then, dragon, you next."

"Kay. My name is Ridley and I work for space pirates. We pretty much cause trouble throughout my universe and stuff. Standard stuff. But after I got killed multiple times and getting transformed into a robot, I pretty much quit. But I still want to destroy the world and so I joined! And that's all that matters, right?" said Ridley.

"Hmm... You're less competent, but still useful. I won't kill you." said Giygas.

"Eep."

"Ghost thing, you next."

"Right! My name is King Boo, the king of all ghosts! I've been helping Bowser with several of his take-over plans. But uhh... I sort of failed. Um... Okay... Oh! I also kidnapped Mario! ...Then I lost to Luigi. Then-" began King Boo.

"STOP." said Giygas.

"What?"

"You have so far left no impression. The only impression I can get from you is that you cannot be killed! You are a pathetic minor villain! We may as well bring Fawful, he's better!" said Giygas.

"But he's a minor villain too!" complained King Boo.

"Well he has accomplished more than you, and if it weren't for the fact that he's locked up in the loony bin, HE WOULD BE SITTING IN YOUR SEAT, WHILE YOU ARE AT HOME, THINKING ABOUT THE TIME WHEN FRICKING LUIGI OF ALL PEOPLE DEFEATED YOU!" yelled Giygas.

"Oooh, burned!" said Porky.

"Unless you have no other reason to exist, you shall be consumed into ever-lasting darkness, never hearing a soul ever again." said Giygas.

"Um... I brought cupcakes!" said King Boo, brandishing a platter of cupcakes. Giygas took one and ate it.

"Very well. You may stay. But if a single cupcake is stale, you will have a 10 minute time-out inside the darkness. Understand?" said Giygas.

"(gulp) Yes sir." said King Boo.

"Now that the ghost understands our position, I'm pretty sure you all know Mewtwo." said Giygas.

"Me and the other Melee characters shall continue in your conquest, in return for becoming main characters in our own fighting game. Also I want appearences in the Pokemon show." said Mewtwo.

"Greed and envy... Definitely loving it. Now that I know all of you now-" began Giygas. But his speech is interrupted by an alarm. "Gah! Stupid castle notification systems!"

"Hmm... It seems that we've located a trio of Smashers in the Metroid universe..." said Mewtwo, reading a message from his phone.

"Ridley! You hail from there, correct?" asked Giygas.

"Um... yes?" said Ridley.

"Excellent. I wish for you to go convince them to join us, or lock them up somewhere so they won't affect our plans." said Giygas.

"But I'm still eating cupcakes..." said Ridley.

"DO IT DAMN YOU!" yelled Giygas. Ridley flew off, scared for his life.

"Hey wait a minute, wasn't it Roy's job to gather everyone in the last chapter?" asked Mewtwo.

"The author's grip on our reality is weakening. He is stupid, lazy, and was insane before he started this story. Soon, we shall use this to our advantage..." said Giygas ominously.

"You didn't answer me..." said Mewtwo.

* * *

Somewhere in the Metroid universe, a portal suddenly opens up and Samus' ship rockets out of it. Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight are feeling sick from the hyper-jump.

"!" screamed Pikachu. Meta Knight and Fox blinked, although they looked quite sick.

"What are you screaming about?" asked Meta Knight.

"What am I screaming about? WHAT AM I SCREAMING ABOUT? WE'RE IN FRICKING SPACE!" yelled Pikachu.

"Dude, me and Meta Knight LIVED space man." said Fox. He promptly throws up on the floor.

"Well, now that Hyper has stopped being lazy..." began Meta Knight. He suddenly stopped as if he was expecting me to explode his liver into 70 seperate parts. Eh, I don't feel like striking him. Well, he got over his fear. "Hmm, odd. Anyway, we must finally get our barrings. Does anyone know where we are?"

"I don't know, Samus' universe?" said Pikachu.

"What gave you that impression?" asked Meta Knight. Pikachu pointed to a planet that's about 1000 miles away, where a Metroid was breakdancing. "...How did you even see that?"

"Hey guys! I found a fridge!" said Fox.

"That's nice." said Meta Knight.

"Hey guys! This is not a fridge, but a weapons cabinet!"

"Fine. Just don't touch anything."

"Hey guys! I found this button!" said Fox. Pikachu suddenly looked alarm.

"NO! BUTTONS ARE WORSE THAN DEATH WEAPONS! DON'T DO IT YOU IDIOT!" yelled Pikachu.

Too late. Samus' ship blew up, sending the three Smashers elsewhere. Somehow, the laws of extreme explosion physics still apply in space, so they flew all the way to an asteroid belt. Yay.

"Oof. Well, I should have stopped you the moment you said fridge." said Meta Knight.

"H-Help..." choked out Fox, who was getting strangled by a pissed Pikachu. Meta Knight hits Pikachu on the back of the head.

"Ow! I was just trying to scare him." said Pikachu. Meta Knight sighs and walks around a bit.

"So, we are currently in an alien universe, where everything will attempt to kill us." said Meta Knight.

"Hey! Freeze!" yelled a voice.

"OHMIGOD! EVERYTHING IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO KILL US! INCLUDING THIN AIR! AHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Fox, who tried to run off, but bumps into thin air.

At that moment, the air shimmers, revealing a group of sinister, space-suit, lazer-cannon weilding... squirells?

"Wait what?" said Pikachu confused.

"We knew we were going to find you jerk-faces one day!" yelled a big squirell, who is the leader. Probably.

"Aw... You guys are so cute! Hah! You even have a bushy tail like me! Don't worry little squirells. One day, you will become as great as m-" said Fox. All of the squirells shot him up. "Pain... Too much pain..."

"Let us explain ourselves. Once upon a time, we lived in a forest in Hyrue. Everything was nice and peaceful. Until YOU guys showed up! You guys set fire to our home!" said the leader squirell.

"Hey! We didn't do any crap! We were just trying to camp! A boy and a small mouse set that fire!" said Pikachu.

"Yes. You and that masked fellow over there."

"But I'm a grown adu-"protested Meta Knight.

"SILENCE! So anyway, a scientist in Hyrue took pity on us, so he took us in. One day, he told us his theory of alternate universes. He created a portal, and we decided to test it. So here we are, in a land of pirates, space, and plasma tv!" said the leader squirell.

"We're in space." said a random squirell.

"I know we are Andrew. So anyway, we decided to use the technology of this world to hunt you down! Luckily, you just so happened to pop up! So we, the Great and Almighty Space Squirells, are here to kill you!" said the leader squirell. Silence.

"...Space Squirells? ...That's the dumbest thing I ever heard." said Pikachu.

"Yeah! And even I know that! I know dumb when I hear it, considering how dumb I am!" said Fox proudly. "Hey wait-"

"Shut up. I hate your face. Today is the day we take our revenge!" said the leader squirell.

"RUN!" yelled Meta Knight. So they started running off, jumping from asteroid to asteroid. Meanwhile, the squirells were chasing them, attempting to shoot them.

"Must, keep, running... Must, not, stop, for, shiny nickel!" said Fox.

"Aw crap!" yelled Pikachu.

"What?" said Meta Knight. He looked ahead and realized the horror that was. Kraid had suddenly popped up, stomping around and roaring like a dinosuar. He is a dinosaur, right? Ah whatever.

"Wonderful. First we get booted out of the castle, than some stupid squirells start shooting us up, AND now we're going to get eaten by an abomination. Absolutely wondeful." said Pikachu with sarcasm.

"Wait, I have an idea." said Fox.

"No more ideas from you." said Meta Knight.

Too late. Fox took out his laser-pistol and shot Kraid head on. He was angered.

**"WHO HAS THE NERVE TO SHOOT A DINOSUAR!" **yelled Kraid. He surveyed the scene. Fox had hidden his pistol behind his back. The only ones that was carrying visible guns were the squirells.

"Oh no, space dinosaur in space!" said Andrew.

"Aw crud." said the leader squirell. Kraid scoops them up, devours them whole, and flies off. Yeah, he flew off.

"...That's one way to take care of your enemies." said Meta Knight.

"OH MY GOD! You actually did something smart!" said Pikachu, in utter disbelief.

"Don't worry citizen. It's all in a day's work for... FOX MAN! Ace pilot and is not affilterated with Fox News!" said Fox.

"Shut up. Just... Just shut up." said Pikachu.

"Hold on, quit your bickering. I think I've located something that could help us." said Meta Knight.

"Shigeru Miyamoto?" asked Pikachu.

"I highly doubt he'd be floating in the middle of space. No, I see a space station below this asteroid. Perhaps we could get assistance there, and maybe try to make sense of the whole situation." said Meta Knight. He jumped off the asteroid. Pikachu and Fox follow after them. There was indeed a space station there. Except it was a bit empty. And sort of broken up.

"Are you sure this isn't one of those... ya-know... space junkyards, right?" asked Fox.

"No. There seems to be a lot of things here indicating it was once a structure. Apparently, it seems to have been blown up." said Meta Knight.

"Hey, what's up?" said a voice. The trio turned around. Behind them was Ridley, who seemed to have appeared all of a sudden like a ninja. Or swift quiet dragon. Or a swift quiet ninja dragon cyborg.

"What are you doing here?" asked Meta Knight, drawing his sword.

"Oh, I'm working for a guy called Giygas. Pretty awesome gig. But he told me to either recruit you or put you out of the way of our plans. You better join. I didn't eat any cupcakes, so I'm not in the fighting mood right now. Maybe I'll try to beat you up when I go eat chinese..." said Ridley.

"Look, are you going to fight us or not?" asked Pikachu.

"Oh. I am. AND IN THE AWESOME WAY!" said Ridley. Suddenly, cannons grew out of his shoulders and fired, nearly missing Fox and Pikachu.

"Woah! Those shoulder cannons are awesome!" said Fox.

"Yeah. All of the perks of the job."

"Wait, I thought you said you weren't in the mood to fight us?" asked Meta Knight.

"Well, I'm a liar. It's a habit, so sorry." said Ridley. However, they already split: they had run off deeper into the space station. Ridely got pissed and started following them.

"Hey, this place is actually familiar..." said Pikachu.

"It's that Frigate Orpheon place, duh." said Fox.

"Really?" Pikachu looked in the direction Fox was facing to see the Parasite Queen trying to break out of her cylinder prison by mashing the A button over and over. Or for you non-gaming geeks, hitting it over and over.

"Come on you guys! Join and there shall be cupcakes for you!" said Ridley.

"Hmm... Tempting..." thought Pikachu.

"You can't be serious." said Meta Knight.

"Just kidding. Sheesh. I know this is tense and all, but Fox alone won't provide enough comic reli-" said Pikachu. Ridley's cannons fired again. However, he completely missed, instead hitting the Parasite Queen's glass. This ended up freeing her, but a second hit made her really angry.

"ARGH! Don't eat me! I taste like broccoli!" screamed Ridley, flying to avoid the Parasite Queen's grasp. Wait, was she called the Parasite Queen? I forget.

"Sweet! Giant monsters are solving all our problems for us!" said Fox.

They ran up to the next floor. There, they found a bomb of some sort. It was crystal-clear and filled with red dust. There was a screen attached to it, just in case victims want to watch tv before dying. Okay, that's not it, but whatever. The real problem was that there was no other exit.

"Well, this sucks." said Pikachu.

"ARGH! Let go you... Ah ha! Got you where I want you!" said Ridley, finally catching up to them. But suddenly, the screen flickered on, drawing everyone's attention. On it was Mewtwo's face.

"Ridley. We have set up the prototype bomb. Make sure that the plot hole hasn't moved yet before detonating. By the way... I ate all the cupcakes while you were gone. Goodbye." said the Mewtwo image. The screen turned off.

"Aw. Stupid Mewtwo, being stupid. Ah well. Hey, you guys stay here while I start up this bomb!" said Ridley.

"I am curious to know what the bomb is for." said Meta Knight.

"Oh. These bombs contain red dust, made from the boss man himself. Combined with the power of a bomb, a clone Giygas is created! Not as sweet and powerful as the real deal, but powerful enough to destroy an entire world! Using the clone Giygas', we could spread them around, thanks to the plotholes, and then we'll keep an eye on the entire Smash Dimension! And soon, we can use that to not only take over worlds faster, but to also..." began Ridley. "Hey wait a minute... WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL OF THIS?"

"Uh... You sort of just did." said Pikachu.

"You... You're lying. You used your cuteness to convince me to give the secrets!"

"...WTF?"

"Well guess what? Mr. I'm Going To Be Killed 12 Seconds Before My Actual Death activated the bomb! So hah! Who's laughing now?"

"You're not making any sense!"

"Oh yeah. This dust sort of makes you a little crazy. ...Or does it?"

"That's it, this is ridiculous." said Meta Knight.

"Since when was it not?" asked Fox.

"Well, the Frigate Orpheon is a spacestation of some sort, so there should be a ship somewhere."

"Hah! There are no ships!" yelled Ridley triumphly.

"Then how did you get here?" asked Pikachu.

"I flew all the way here on the mystical cow of dreams! ...Sorry, dust talking." said Ridley.

"Is the dust a metaphor for drugs or something?"

"No! The dust is made out of pure evil... and maybe a little dirt. FEAR IT! Anyway, I took that wormhole over there to get here." said Ridley, pointing at an open window, where there was a giant hole in space, time, and what's left of common sense.

"Come on guys! Let's go! LEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOORYYYYYY, JEEEEEEEENKIIIIIINSSS!" yelled Fox, diving straight into the wormhole.

"Let's go!" said Meta Knight as he and Pikachu ran after him.

"Hey wait! Don't you want to get caught in this explosion? ...Guys?" asked Ridley. The bomb explodes, spreading redness and evil all around. However, all of it got contained into the Frigate Orpheon, so it was rather pointless. Meanwhile, Ridley gets sucked right into the middle of it, screaming and stuff.

* * *

"It looks like the vortex from the clone is sending stuff here." said Mewtwo.

"Very good. Roy, you stand in front of that red portal over there." said Giygas.

"Why?" asked a confused Roy.

"You're expendable." said Giygas. Before Roy could interject, a bunch of stuff comes flying out of the portal, including Ridley.

"Hey guys! Still have any cupcakes?" asked Ridley.

"Have you succeeded?" asked Giygas.

"No... it sort of got stuck inside the station." said Ridley.

"WHAT? Did it at least get into the plot hole?" asked Giygas.

"Ehh... Nope. Sorry. I blame Mewtwo for putting the bomb inside the station." said Ridley, cowering just in case Giygas was going to kill him.

"Blame accepted. Ah well, at the very least, a bomb has detonated. Soon my clone shall conume the Metroid universe..." said Giygas.

"What about the plot hole, sir?" asked Mewtwo.

"It doesn't matter. I've sent Ashley to the place the plot hole emerges, just in case Ridley happened to fail. Oh, and since he failed... Ridley, time for a ten minute break." said Giygas cruely.

"No wait-" said Ridley. However, a red geyser descends from the sky, picks him up, and brings him upward into the dark red cloud of despair.

"Aah... My main body is currently beating him to near-death. How wonderful." said Giygas happily.

"OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME! THIS THING'S EATING MY FACE!" screamed Roy, who was getting mauled by the Parasite Queen.

"Silence expendable one, or I shall make ANOTHER Parasite Queen to devour your face! Now then, we must find a new plot hole. Since the author has reached new lengths of laziness, I expect a new one to pop up. Soon, every bomb shall be detonated in every world, getting spread by the plot holes! The universe shall be under my watch!" laughed Giygas.

_To be continued..._

* * *

Wow, that's a lot more longer than the original version. I apologize if some parts seem rushed, especially the end, but I still have much to do! So, I bet you're all wondering: What is a plot hole? Where did the plot hole lead? Will the space squirells ever get out of Kraid's stomach? Will Ridley finally eat his cupcakes after he's done being traumatized? Will Vaati stop trying to be fabulous? How is me being lazy important to the plot? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!


	4. Crash Course

_Chapter 3: Crash Course_

Plot Hole – A mistake in continuity, which is either easily missed, or when the author is lazy.

(Okay, I don't know the exact definition, but I think this is close.)

* * *

Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu are flying through a plot hole at break-neck speed. It's sort of like going through a wormhole, except for… okay, there isn't much different. So anyway, our unlikely trio has recently escaped an explosion on the Frigate Orpheon, which was told to create clone Giygas'. If it weren't for the author's laziness, they wouldn't have survived.

"Where the hell does this thing lead?" asked Pikachu, the resident jerk.

"I am not quite sure. But we'll find out soon enough." Said Meta Knight, a knowledgeable and honorable knight thing.

"Whee!" said Fox (resident optimistic idiot), who is floating around with pure whimsy.

"Good thing we weren't blown up though. The story would have ended lots of chapters than intended, and I want my screen time dammit." Said Pikachu.

The plot hole suddenly shivered.

"Looks like we're emerging! Prepare for landing!" said Fox.

"Wait, what?" asked Pikachu.

A bright light flashed and suddenly they weren't in a trippy tunnel. Instead, they were thousands of feet above a planet. Fox and Meta Knight, who knew what to do during emergency crashes (yeah, Fox isn't too much of an idiot) landed gracefully. Pikachu however wasn't so lucky and landed on his face. Ouch.

"Uuuuurgh…" groaned Pikachu.

"Hmm, these surroundings are familiar, but I can't put my finger on it." Said Meta Knight.

"Well, the good thing is, we're finally safe! Hooray!" cheered Fox. Then they were suddenly bombarded with hovering cars going 500 MPH. Double ouch.

"Hey, it's you guys!" said a voice from a car that was turning around.

"OH NO! THE CAR KNOWS US AND IS COMING BACK FOR REVENGE!" screamed Fox.

"No you idiots, it's me!" said the voice. The car parked in front of them as a biker/samurai came out. Fox and Pikachu scratched their heads. The biker/samurai frowned. "I'm an assist trophy."

"Don't know you." Muttered Pikachu, who was in obvious pain after landing on his face and getting hit by several cars.

"No, this is Samurai Goroh, remember?" said Meta Knight. The other two still stared. Meta Knight sighed. "F-Zero universe." Still staring. "Captain Falcon's enemy."

"Well, I'm glad I finally got some recognition!" said Samurai Goroh. "What brings you folk over here? I thought you guys got wasted when that alien attacked."

"A bunch of us escaped. We ended up in another dimension. But we traveled through what we believe was called a "plot-hole" and ended up here." Explained Meta Knight. Samurai Goroh became worried.

"Plot-Holes! Crap, you guys better come with me!" said Samurai Goroh. "Oh yeah, and you should stay off of the street." He hopped back into his car as another round of traffic descended upon the trio.

_One agonizing trip, five more car attacks, and three juggling bears later…._

"So, what's so bad about these plot holes?" asked Pikachu. They all sat together at a nice diner place.

"Plot holes are real bad trouble man. In stories, when the author is being lazy, he doesn't feel like thinking up of a reason for something, this creates a plot hole. Applied in the real world, anything can happen. Like during while me and the other assists were escaping, some sort of plot hole appeared. We went through and we ended up here, with no explanation at all." Explained Samurai Goroh.

"….TOO MANY WORDS." Said Fox.

"…So, these plot holes are created when Hyper gets lazy, right?" asked Pikachu.

"Bingo little rat thing. But this ain't a good thing. If that alien guy finds a plot-hole, he could simply teleport elsewhere." Meta Knight's eyes suddenly widened.

"Oh no… This is terrible…" murmured Meta Knight.

"What's the problem?" asked Pikachu.

"Anyone could do anything with a plot-hole, correct?" asked Meta Knight.

"No, you can only do dance moves with plot-holes. Yes, they can do anything." Said Samurai Goroh.

"Giygas… I now realize what he's trying to do…"

"Well spit it out man!"

"Giygas can use the plot holes to travel in between different universes. He's harnessing the author's own laziness to his own advantage! That's why they put a clone bomb right next to a plot hole! If they detonate a bomb, the clone Giygas can come through the plot hole and emerge in this universe!"

"Oh crap! So that freak can use the plot holes to conquer universes faster!" asked Pikachu.

"In theory, yes." Said Meta Knight solemnly.

"….Does this mean we're screwed?" asked Fox.

"Hell no! The battle is not over! It

"What do you mean?" asked Meta Knight curiously.

"We can't let the alien guy invade our universes! We can just stop the plot holes!" said Samurai Goroh.

"What a great idea! We can just go up to the author, slap him awake, and make him write out the plot holes so that the travel can't be possible!" said Pikachu, full of sarcasm.

"Yeah! Let's go show him!" cheered Fox, not catching on.

"Actually there's another way. We got high-tech stuff. There's actually a plot-hole remover for the writers too lazy to search for these things." said Samurai Goroh.

"It's really that simple?" asked Meta Knight.

"Ha ha ha… NO! These things are frickin' expensive. If you want to get enough money in a hurry, you have to enter the upcoming race tournament. "

"So we have to win a race so we can get enough money to stop these plot-hole things." said Pikachu in disbelief.

"Convinient, eh?" said Samurai Goroh.

"Damn it, you really are losing your touch Hyper." said Pikachu.

The trio leaves the place as Samurai Goroh began to ramble on about his latest wins and bounties, which they don't really care about. But what they do care about is Giygas and the plot-holes.

"Someone has to stop this complete maniac." said Meta Knight.

"But he's giant! He's evil! AND RED!" screamed Fox.

"We can't do it with the three of us though. Maybe if we spread the word to the others, we could slow down Giygas' invasion, if not halt it. But for now, we must focus on stopping the plot-hole in this universe." said Meta Knight.

"That sounds neat and all, but we can't rely on that idiot samurai guy to win the race." said Pikachu.

"I HEARD THAT!" screamed Samurai Goroh from far away.

"Oh, that's okay. I can drive the cars." said Fox casually. The other two stares at him.

"Really?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yup. I only remember it like it was just a month ago..." said Fox.

Three days before invasion...

Fox and Ike was beating the crap out of each other on Mute City, avoiding the hovering racecars. They both had only one stock left, and both were almost dead.

"Hey look Fox, it's a shiny!" said Ike as another surge of cars was coming.

"Oooh! Where?" asked Fox as he ran into the path of an ocoming car. Instead of getting blown away, he sort of clung onto the car. Like flies on a windshield or something.

"Looks like I win." said Ike. Curiously however, the math hadn't ended yet. The platform flew around, landing on the road again. All of a sudden, Ike got hit by a car, going at the speed of a maniac. Inside the car was Fox, who was tryign to get used to the controls, but remarkably held up.

"Yee haw!" shouted Fox in victory as the announcer announced the win to him.

Back to the present...

"...so I won the match, became roadkill, and learned how to drive the hover race car things. All in one day!" said Fox proudly.

"Well, I'm for one impressed. Seeing as how you're a decent plane pilot, I don't think driiving would be very difficult for you. With you entering the race, our chances of winning the prize money to get the plot-hole remover would increase." said Meta Knight.

"Hey watch it..." said Pikachu, as a small boy bumped into him. "Hey wait, you're that whiny kid Lucas!"

It was indeed Lucas. However, he didn't seem to look as jolly as usual. Instead he seemed nervous and somewhat depressed. He had a black shirt with a red swirl in it. On his neck was five spots, two of which were glowing. Most importantly, he seemed to be bleeding. In a lot of places. And no, not in that place. Lucas isn't a girl.

"AARGH! I-it's you guys. I thought you guys died..." said Lucas.

"Ha ha! No, we're main characters! That's how things work kid!" said Fox optimisticly.

"What's in the box?" asked Meta Knight. Inside Lucas' hands was a small box. Lucas gave some sort of twitch .

"NONE OF YOUR BUISINESS! Out of my way! S-S-She... She'll kill me if I don't deliver this. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts..." murmurred Lucas, stumbling off in a random direction. The trio shared an awkward silence.

"Wait, girl?" said Pikachu.

"To be expected. All youth will eventually find a love." said Meta Knight.

"Yeah Pikachu. I remember my first love. And that love was flying! When I got in my first ride, I was like, WOOSH! Then, as I turned, I went, SWOOSH!" said Fox.

Let's ignore that idiot. Instead, let's follow Lucas a little. Lucas has entered a hotel, which is directly below the F-Zero universe's plot hole. At the hotel, he met Ashley, who unfortunately owned him.

"Do you have it?" asked Ashley.

"I-I have it..." said Lucas. He handed over the small box he was carrying. Ashley ripped it open and took out a small bomb that was inside.

"Perfect... Now throw out the cardboard box." commanded Ashley.

"But I didn't make that mess. ...Oh crap." said Lucas. Ashley conjures a knife and tosses it at Lucas. She seemed pissed.

"Remember what I said about talking back to me? Or being annoying? I'll kill you, remember that." muttered Ashley. She turned her attention to the spots in Lucas' neck. "Remember that curse I put on you? Every time I get angered, I light up one of the spots on your neck. And when all of them are lit up, your head will explode in billions of gory pieces. Won't that be fun?"

"N-No..."

"Then don't anger me. Obey me and you'll do just fine." Ashley than gave a little smile. It would have been cute to any other person, but to Lucas, it was somewhat terrifying.

"S-So... What will you do with the bomb?" asked Lucas.

"In the event that Ridley failed, which he probably did. We'll use this bomb to create a Giygas clone. Or strengthen the one that came through the plot-hole." said Ashley, "Imagine it Lucas... All of the people are breathing in the same air molecules going through the Giygas clone. They'll soon be affected by his poison! Every living being will either go insane, or turn to Giygas' side! Everyone not affected... oh they'll be dead. Imagine the carnage and the blood Lucas. Imagine." Lucas briefly built up an image in his mind.

"That would be t-terifying." said Lucas.

"Exactly! Now then, they're holding a Grand Prix in Big Blue later. Many people across the universe will come to the event. That's where the center of destruction shall be. Come, we must plant this bomb and watch the chaos unfold."

Poor Lucas. Anyway, let's see what our heroes are doing.

"...then I took down Andross! Man, it was great! Flying through the air, without a care in the wor-" continued Fox.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Pikachu. Fox looked sad.

"...Sniff. You didn't have to be so rude about it ya know..." said Fox.

"Shush. We must stop this tomfoolery. We need to go register for the race." said Meta Knight.

I do not know the process where a racer signs up for a race. I also don't know if the racers practice before a race. So let's skip ahead a day before the race and shift to Lucas and Ashley.

"Perfect. Only one racer is on the track. We need to murder all of the race officials and get the bomb planted." said Ashley.

"...Do we really need to murder these people?" asked Lucas.

"No. It's just fun."

So they went around the track, tracking down each race official. Ashley just outright murders them with a variety of spells, while Lucas just sets their shoes on fire. Finally, they were on the last official.

"Hey. Why are you two kids running around? There's a murderer running around this place!" said the race official, who was armed.

"Yeah... About that..." murmured Ashley.

"Just go find somewhere else to hold your date." said the race official. Those were his last words as Ashley and surprisingly Lucas blow him up in anger.

"WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!" yelled both Ashley and Lucas suddenly realized what he had done.

"O-Oh my god... I-I-I murdered someone... Someone I don't even know! He didn't deserve it! HE'S JUST A VICTIM IN YOUR HORRIBLE KILLING SPREE!" screamed Lucas.

"Amazing Lucas! We blew him up together! Your first kill for our side! Isn't it wonderful?" asked Ashley. Before she could force Lucas to give her a high-five, Lucas wandered onto the track, sobbing. That's when he got run over by a racing car.

Inside the car, which Fox was driving...

"Huh." said Fox.

"What?" asked Meta Knight. Both he and Pikachu were thankfully small enough to fit in the cockpit so they can cheer Fox on. Or take over when Fox screws up with his nincompoop...ism. Yeah, I'm the author. I may be lazy, but I'm creative enough to invent new words!

Every living being in the world shall bow down to my words! World leaders shall fear the word known as nincompoopism! (evil laugh)

What were we doing? Oh right. Stay focused.

"I think I just ran over a little boy." said Fox.

"Was it Lucas?" asked Meta Knight.

"No, Lucas is the pink blobby thing! Don't be stupid!" said Fox.

"...Dude, we just saw Lucas a few days ago. If anyone here is stupid, it's you." said Pikachu.

"W-What? I-I-I-I thought the kid's name was Carl!" said Fox.

"We said Lucas' name in front of you!" yelled Pikachu.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAARL!" cried Fox. He suddenly took his hands off the wheel to ironically sob. Meta Knight quickly took the wheel, his purpose for being in a cramped car fulfilled.

Back on the track...

"Damn it Lucas. Sleeping is not part of your job. If slavery could be called a job. GET UP!" yelled Ashley. Lucas groaned and got up.

"Urgh..." groaned Lucas.

"We have no time for you to be a zombie! Those three in that car... They were in the folder Giygas handed me! We need to eliminate them. ...And I think I know how." said Ashley. Oh crap. There's that smile again.

"W-What would that be?"

"Simple. Kill two birds with one stone. We plant the bomb on their car, and bingo! They'll be in the center of the explosion!" said Ashley happily.

"B-But we can't do that!" said Lucas.

"I know we can't. But YOU can. Come on. You'll be stuck with me forever. You might as well destroy what's left of your emotion, love, and peace of mind while you can."

"They're my friends! ...O-Okay, just Fox and Meta Knight... But still!" said Lucas. He cringed in fear of Ashley hitting him. Surprisingly, she didn't.

"Interesting. Well then, let me offer you a deal. You plant the bomb, and I remove one of the lights on your neck." said Ashley.

Lucas began to think. Should he sacrifice his friends to the bomb, or risk Ashley's wrath?

"Come on! You'll die more later than you should!"

Friends or wrath?

"Not ALL of them will die in the explosion!"

She's making this deal less tempting.

"I will torture you horribly and add another light! Don't do this, and I'll guarantee you'll die a lot more faster!"

As if she isn't already torturing him. He got two spots left anyway.

"Very well. I guess I have to play my trump card."

"Huh?" wondered Lucas.

"We will celebrate with omeletes. Like your dead mother used to make! Sadness and deliciousness all in one!"

HOLY F***ING GOD. BEST DEAL EVER.

"I'll do it." murmurred Lucas.

"Great! See Lucas, all the torture and evil stuff I've done to you is starting to turn your mind evil!" said Ashley. This didn't make Lucas feel any better, but he wants his goddamn omelete damn it.

A few minutes later...

Fox continued to drive decently, without another nincompoopism distraction. Well, there WILL be a distraction. Just not a favorable one.

"Fox, you seem to be running out of gas. Pull up to the pit stop so we can ask for some more." said Meta Knight.

"Righty-o!" said Fox. He then turns toward the pit-stop, and parks perfectly. Then they notice something horrible.

All across the pit-stop area, bodies littered the place. All of them killed by some sort of spell. Curiously, all of them had burnt shoes.

"Great gods..." said Meta Knight in disbelief.

"What happened?" wondered Pikachu.

"I know! Who would go burn some perfectly good shoes?" asked Fox. The other two stared at him.

"...Kinda missing the point." muttered Pikachu.

"Stay in the car Fox. Pikachu and I will try to get assistance." said Meta Knight. The cockpit opened, allowing him and Pikachu to jump out. Fox decided to just chill.

It was kind of hard with dead bodies everywhere.

Suddenly, Fox heard noise.

"FREEZE! DON'T SCREW WITH A FOX!" screamed Fox, pointing his laser gun at whoever was approaching him. Nothing to worry about though. It was just Lucas. The new, creepy Lucas.

"Hello Fox." said Lucas.

"Oh hi! Sorry I was pointing my gun at you. So... you want something? Like a juice? That corpse over there was carrying a juice. It's apple juice. Apple juice is delicious when not being carried by a dead guy. By the way, did I hit you with this car earlier?" said Fox.

"That's nice. So, I-I-I heard you were entering the race. So I decided to give you this!" said Lucas, presenting Fox the bomb.

"Yay! ...What is it?"

"Oh, it's a... um... speed... enhancer... thingy... yeah." explained Lucas.

"Hooray! Can't have too many thingys! ...Wait a minute. Isn't this illegal in races or something?" asked Fox.

"...No. It's only illegal in... um... Nor-Cani-Switz-States. That's definitely a place I didn't make up." said Lucas.

"How thoughtful! Thanks Lu... cas?" thanked Fox, but Lucas had already run off. He shrugged and got out of the cockpit. He installed the bomb to the engine. The bomb suddenly activated, but Fox wasn't aware of that. He continued to chill until Pikachu and Meta Knight came back. "Hey guys! Lucas just came and-"

"Yeah yeah, wonderful story. The police is already on their way, so let's get the hell out of this deathtrap." said Pikachu.

"What makes me curious is who did this and why." said Meta Knight. "On one hand, the killer seemed to be trying to achieve a goal, and thought all of these innocent people were in the way. On the other hand, the killer was simply a bored lunatic..."

"GRAAARGH..."

"Um... What was that?" asked Pikachu.

"GRRR..."

"Not me." said Fox.

"Then who can..." began Meta Knight, while he turned around. Then he saw one of the corpses moving."Oh god..."

"HOLY CRAP RUN FOR YOUR LIFE." screamed Pikachu. Everyone quickly got into the car and drove off.

The next day...

"...despite the tragic deaths of at least 17 people and the 5 cops killed by zombies, we'll be continuing our Grand Prix! Hello F-Zero fans everywhere! Welcome to the Big Blue Grand Prix! Many racers, despite hearing of the horrible events last night, came anyway and is preparing the vehicles! I wonder who will win?" said a commentator over the chatter of the audiance. Lucas and Ashley took their seats, so they can watch the chaos happen. Also they stole some tickets from one guy they killed, and they figured it shouldn't go to waste.

"We have lots of competition, just to warn you Fox." said Meta Knight, surveying the other racers. The only ones that caught his attention was Samurai Goroh, one that stayed in his car (which looked like one of those black mafia cars, except hovering), and some sort of cop from the Earthbound universe with a blue face. Meta Knight found this as odd, but assumed that this was because of a plot-hole. The sooner they get rid of the things, the better.

Ashley surveyed the scene, chuckling to herself. Then her eyes fell onto the cop. The cop seemed to notice and came over.

"Giygas sir! Why have you possessed a cop to come here?" asked Ashley. It was common fact that all enemy humans in Earthbound had blue faces. Then again, at least half of you hasn't played Earthbound or MOTHER 3, and probably never will.

"I came to make sure you use the bomb properly. I also heard that the three Smashers in the Metroid universe escaped to this universe and entered the race. You must make sure they get sucked into the void, if not killed. They know part of our plan." explained the cop, who had Giygas' voice.

"Don't worry. The bomb has been planted under their car. Isn't that right Lucas?" asked Ashley. Lucas didn't answer. Instead, he seemed horrified by the fact that an innocent man is being possessed by a horrible abomination.

"Control him Ashley. If he continues staring in extreme fright, it'll bring attention." said Cop-Giygas. He quickly looked around suspiciously before heading back to his car.

"Racers get into your vehicles! The race will now begin!" said the commentator.

"Good luck guys! Remember, either of us have to win to stop that monster!" said Samurai Goroh.

"Thank you stranger!" said Fox.

"Oh yeah, and one more thing..." said Samurai Goroh.

"Yeah?" asked Pikachu. Goroh then punched him in the face, sending him several feet away.

"THAT WAS FOR EARLIER!" yelled Samurai Goroh. He then jumped and landed in the cockpit of his own car. How spectacular.

"Grr... Stupid Brick Jokes and TV Tropes for giving Hyper the idea..." muttered Pikachu. He and Meta Knight squeezed into the cockpit along with Fox.

"Ready racers? We will start in 5..."

"Let's make this count." said Meta Knight.

"4..."

"3 minutes till detonation..." said Ashley.

"3..."

"These cars are quite stupid. When the F-Zero universe is finally mines, I will destroy these accursed things." muttered Giygas-cop.

"2..."

"Let's kick their asses!" cheered Pikachu.

"1..."

"Get ready..." said Fox.

"GO!"

_To be continued..._

* * *

Why am I so cruel to Lucas in my stories? What's the rest of Giygas' nefarious plan? How come Homestuck is a confusing mess? Is Fox really as stupid as we all think? Why have I teased a Lucas/Ashley pairing? What the hell is wrong with me? Why is my own laziness affecting the story? All of these questions will not be answered in the next episode!


	5. This Race is For Real

_Chapter 4: This Race is For Real_

The cars have all taken off, with Fox (an idiot), Meta Knight (an honorable knight), and Pikachu (a jerk) securing a cozy position mid-way through the rankings...

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-WHOOOOOOOO!" shouted Samurai Goroh, tackling the trio's car, causing them to lose their place. A pissed Pikachu takes out a cellphone.

"What the hell man? We're on the same team!" yelled Pikachu into the phone.

"Yeah, but I still want the damn trophy!" yelled Goroh, who immediately hung up. Pikachu yells angrily and throws the phone out the window.

"Don't give up Fox! Just keep moving!" yelled Meta Knight.

"Yes sir." said Fox.

Their car gathered speed, heading toward their former place. Meanwhile the bomb continued to tick underneath the car, with the inhabitants unaware. Ashley began celebrating the inevitable explosion.

"...and the sun is high, the angels sing because you're gonna die..." sang Ashley.

"Omelettes, omelettes, gunna get me some omelettes. Don't give a damn that I lost my sanity, I just want my omelettes." sang Lucas, who had completely lost it.

"Uh oh! It seems that one of the drivers are pulling out a weapon!" said the announcer.

"Wait, which driver?" panic'd Pikachu. His question was answered when a barrage of bullets hit the side of their car. The shots were fired from the black car with the tinted windows. The windows were opening up, and...

"Oh no. Not again." murmurred Meta Knight.

"That's right! The squirells are back man!" said the leader squirell.

"OH MY GOD SQUIRELLS?" yelled Fox, taking his hands off the wheel breifly to spazz out.

"Keep your focus on the race. We'll handle this." said Meta Knight. He turned to face the squirells. "How did you guys even..."

"Oh. It was simple. Jefferson, explain for me!" shouted the leader squirell. A squirell wearing glasses came up.

"Will do Sheldon." said Jefferson. Then Pikachu laughed.

"Pfft... Sheldon?" laughed Pikachu. Bullets fly in the area directly above Pikachu's head. That shut him up.

"Silence! Sheldon was the name of my uncle, who lead the great Hyrule Squirell Revolution!" explained Sheldon. He glared. "Don't call me Sheldon either author!" Oh come on. Accept destiny. You will always be Sheldon. He sighed.

"So, after a few hours, we managed to get out of the beast's body..." said Jefferson.

"How did... oh. That's revolting." murmurred Meta Knight.

"After we got out, we saw this huge red mass just floating out there..."

"Red space mass." said Andrew.

"That's nice. So,, when we went towards it, we were suddenly by a wormhole like tunnel. We ended up here, and when we found out YOU were entering the race, we decided to join in and humiliate you." finished Jefferson.

"AS REVENGE! REVENGE I SAY!" yelled Sheldon.

"Revenge from outer space."

"CORRECT! WE SHALL UNLEASH OUR RAGE MACHINE GUN ROUNDS RIGHT..." threatened Sheldon. Then their car gets rammed by fake cop Giygas.

"These machines are so horribly fast and pointless. I'd be doing a FAVOR by getting rid of these things." cursed Giygas.

"FAST FORWARD!" yelled Fox, speeding up. The squirells quickly recovered from the ramming and opened fire. The initial machine gun rounds hit several cars, which were blocking Fox from their view. The second round dealt with the cars. The last one actually hit our heroes' car.

"Oh dear! It seems that a bunch of violent squirells are blowing up and killing other racers! ...This is the best race we had all year!" cheered the announcer.

"Idiot." muttered Ashley, checking a pocketwatch. A few more minutes until the explosion. Probably going to happen near the last laps. Should make things exciting. Meanwhile...

"The car's catching fire! You know my luck with fire, right? RIGHT?" screamed Fox.

"I'll handle this. Pikachu, cover me." said Meta Knight. He opened the cockpit...

"THERE THEY ARE!" yelled Sheldon, coming up from the side...

"CHUUUUUUU!" yelled Pikachu, unleashing a bolt of lightning at the squirells. It shocks everyone inside and it even short circuits the car, leaving it as a useless hunk of metal.

"The squirells are disqualified! They will also be arrested immediately!" announced the announcer. A flying blue vehicle comes overhead and picks up the squirells in a tractor beam.

"This is why we should have stayed in Hyrule sir." muttered Jefferson.

"Oh shut up." said Sheldon.

"We're being beamed into spaaaaaaaace!" cheered Andrew.

Meta Knight, who is now safe, or at the very least, safe from bullets, clambers over the car and swings himself over to the back of the car. He then used his extensive knowledge of mechanics and engineering to repair the car and stop the fire. In reality, I don't know how to stop a car fire or how to fix a moving vehicle. Whatever. Summer may be almost over, but I still don't want to study. Suddenly, Meta Knight hears a ticking noise. He peers under the car... and spots the bomb.

"Umm... Are you guys aware of this?" asked Meta Knight, showing the bomb.

"Oh yeah. Lucas gave that to me." Fox said casually.

"Lucas?"

"THROW IT OUT! IT'S GOING TO BLOW!" yelled Pikachu. He grabbed the bomb out of Meta Knight's hands and threw it out into the ocean. "Phew. That was clo-"

The ocean suddenly rumbled. Then, a huge evil fish jumped out, letting out a loud groan. It dives back into the water, splashing water into a bunch of racers, causing them to careen off.

"And now a giant fish is attacking our racers! To the lawyers out there, we are sorta positive this was never in the race before Please do not sue us!" screamed the announcer. The audiance screamed... then began applauding. This is horrifying, yet awesome at the same time. Ashley grabbed Lucas' shirt.

"It. Did. Not. Explode. IN THEIR FACES!" yelled Ashley.

"W-well... it exploded..." said Lucas.

"...Are you trying to be a wiseass with me?"

"No..."

"Argh, I can't trust these people to do something simple such as blow up a bomb in a middle of a racetrack." muttered Giygas. His false body dissolves into mist and it exits the car and flies into the water. His consiousness took over the fish. It is time...

**FOR MURDER MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!**

Giygas-Fish jumped out of the water and tackles the track, sending several racers falling. The racers that slowed down due to shock did not manage to fly over the huge gap. Samurai Goroh quickly recovered from this and managed to jump over.

"YEEE-HAW!" shouted Samurai Goroh. Fox began to approach the hole.

"OH NO WE'RE GOING TO CRASH AND DIE!" screamed Fox.

"Don't slow down Fox. Don't let fear conquer you." said Meta Knight.

"Yeah, you may be an idiot, but you're a competent idiot! I believe in you Fox!" cheered Pikachu. Fox stopped panicking and relaxed. He WILL survive. He sped up... and flew over the hole. This jump would forever be in the hearts and minds of racing fans everywhere. They watched in shock and awe as the car did an epic jump over a broken track as a giant fish splashed in the background. Years later, one author would write the inspiring tale of The Little Fox That Could, documenting the events in colorful illustrations and better details than the one I'm saying.

Their car landed on the other side. Happy to be nice and safe, they high-fived each other.

"Keep going Fox! This is the last lap and we are so winning this race!" said Pikachu. Fox gunned it, speeding past some of the remaining racers and catching up with Samurai Goroh.

"Nice jump. Still going to win though." said Goroh, speeding off.

"We shall win today!" said Meta Knight.

"Aren't we on the same side?" asked Fox.

"Yes, but to be beaten by this man is somewhat of a mockery. Godspeed Fox." said Meta Knight. Their car began pulling up from Goroh's behind. While they are doing this, Giygas-Fish jumped up into the air, preparing the flatten them.

"Oh man! Who's going to win? The fox, or the samurai? The animal or the human? The idiot or the sorta idiot? The suspense is killing... ack..." said the announcer. He then collapsed. Lucas just stared at him and then glanced at Ashley, who was pointing her wand at the poor man.

"...What? He was annoying." explained Ashley.

"That was u-uncalled for."

"Do you want me to use this on YOU?"

"Um... Oh, hey look, they're almost to the finish line!"

Goroh and Fox clashed, smashing into each other as the shadow of the fish flew above them. They edged toward the finish line as the fish smacked into the track.

* * *

"Urgh... Don't leave me for Slippy, Krystal..." murmurred Fox.

"Hey Fox, wake up." said Pikachu.

"Oh god now I'm going to die alone..." cried Fox.

"Er, Fox?" said Meta Knight. Pikachu kicked him in the chest. Fox woke up.

"Owiekins!" screamed Fox.

"Fox! Believe it or not, but we won." said Meta Knight, presenting a trophy. Fox looked around. People were trying to crowd over to them, wanting their autographs. Medics kept them away, in order for the trio to recover. Goroh pouted in the corner as people began hauling up a huge fried fish. Cannons were now blasting in the ocean, due to the presense of more demonic fish. Soon, over the course of a few days, all of the fish affected by the Giygas bomb would be exterminated, making the ocean a peaceful place once more.

"Holy crap..." was all Fox could say.

"Oh yeah! We need the plot hole remover!" shouted Pikachu. They began to make arrangements to go out and buy it with their prize money. Meanwhile, hidden from the crowds was Ashley, yelling at Lucas.

"Great! Thank you Lucas! Because of you, I got a demerit!" yelled Ashley, holding a slip of paper that had materialized the moment of Giygas-Fish was defeated.

"I-Is that bad...?" asked Lucas.

"I have to spend an hour inside the vast realms of Giygas." explained Ashley.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry Ashley! Don't kill me!" screamed Lucas. Ashley stopped. Instead she raised her wand and zapped Lucas' neck. He screamed as a new light began to appear on Lucas' skin.

"That's not all. Expect not to be fed at home." muttered Ashley. She grabbed Lucas and began dragging him. She looked over at Lucas and noticed something. "Why are you blushing?"

"You're hugging me."

"It's not a hug. It's uh... a more firm dragging."

* * *

Upon getting killed by cannons, Giygas' mind left the fish and traveled through the dimensions. He awoke inside his old body back at the conquered Smash Castle. That's when he heard giggling. He looked down. Ridley and King Boo had markers in their hands.

"Hey, that drawing is pretty nice." said Ridley.

"I always practice drawing on people's faces when I'm not up to something evil." admitted King Boo.

"ENOUGH!" yelled Giygas. His pure anger threw Ridley and King Boo, sending them several yards away.

"OH SHI-" screamed Ridley. A portal opened up in the middle of the room and sucked the two in. Giygas drew out a mirror and examined his face. They've been doodling all over it. He broke the mirror in two and used his powers to cleanse them away. He squirmed in his throne, thinking of past events.

Other than the Smash Castle operation, things haven't been going well. The Giygas bomb in the Metroid universe exploded, but failed to get a group of escaped Smashers. Then, the bomb in the F-Zero universe failed to preform it's original purpose, instead, it created a whole colony of demonic fish, which could be easily killed. Not only that, but it failed to kill the SAME group of Smashers. These three are definitely going on the kill list. He heard something walking. Porky approached him.

"Heeeeeeeey booooooooss. Guess what?" asked Porky.

"You finally got someone to draw a painting of Ness and got someone to ruin it?" guessed Giygas, unammused.

"Nope! I just took over the Earthbound world!" announced Porky. Giygas just stared at him.

"How?"

"Well, you know how we were all sneaky and stuff last time by possessing people and stuff? Well this time, I brought our resources at full force! The losers are kneeling beneath my feet I say!" boasted Porky.

"Hmm. I'm impressed."

"Yeah, but pigbutt is there running a resistance!" said Porky.

"Seeing as how you managed to conquer the world so quickly, I assume you shouldn't have trouble capturing that... stupid kid. Now then... have you found the secret?"

"Yes sir! It's all up here inside my head!" said Porky.

"Good. Then you wouldn't have any problem standing still."

"Huh?" asked Porky. Suddenly, mist began floating into his ear, stealing the knowledge of the secret Porky had learned. The boy screamed until Giygas was done extracting the information. "Watch it! I may be a villain, but I'm still a kid!"

"Sorry... I've been angry lately..."

"You saw the stuff on your face?" asked Porky. Giygas' face lit up in anger.

"_**YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS AND DIDN'T STOP THEM**_?" asked Giygas, who stared daggers at Porky. In fact, daggers began to materialize in front of the boy's face.

"Woah! Just a kid!" cried Porky. Giygas calmed down.

"Whatever. Just detonate a Giygas bomb in the atmosphere of your planet and rally your forces to pass through a plot hole... We still have business to do." said Giygas. He turned around and sat back onto his throne.

A brand new world under under his belt, as well as a new secret. What is this secret you may ask? Oh, we won't know till later. Just pretend to act like this is something terrifying.

* * *

On top of a tall building, Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight have set up a laser like device.

"Okay... Just press this button and a plot hole shall be removed from the universe." said Meta Knight, who was reading from the instructions.

"Okay!" exclaimed Fox, hitting a button. The machine made a huge whirring noise and fired a laser into where they fell from the sky. A bright light filled the sky briefly and disappeared. A small screen said, "PLOT HOLE REMOVED."

"Well, that's one problem destroyed." said Pikachu.

"Hey guys!" yelled Samurai Goroh. He was hauling a huge pod like device.

"What is that?" asked Meta Knight.

"It's a space pod! If you guys are going to travel around and stop this jackass, you have to have a ship." said Goroh. He set the pod down and he hits a button. The pod expands a little, which made it look more like a space pod thing.

"Wait, who said anything about _US_ stopping Giygas?" yelled Pikachu.

"Well, it'll only be us until we reunite the other Smashers to our cause, that is, if we find them." explained Meta Knight. He then noticed a glaring flaw. "Wait, we can't bring the plot hole remover into the pod."

"Sure we can! Pokeball, go!" said Fox, taking out a Pokeball. He threw it at the plot hole remover and just like that it gets contained inside the small ball. Everyone just stared.

"When did you..." said Meta Knight.

"How did..." said Pikachu.

"Miracles." said Fox with a smile.

"...All right then. Now then, we must go off and..." began Meta Knight.

"Protect the universe from the evils of Giygas, for we are Team Neo Star Fox!" said Fox.

"...TEAM NEO STAR FOX?" yelled Pikachu.

"We needed a team name, and it needed to be kickass and stuff! Also, I did the race! _I_ should be the leader!" exclaimed Fox.

"I'll trade you this nickel for your leadership." said Pikachu.

"Deal! Shiny shiny shiny..." murmurred Fox as Pikachu handed him the small pathetic trinket.

"Okay. Now then, we shall be known as..." began Pikachu.

"GOD DAMN IT JUST GET FLYING AWAY ALREADY!" yelled Goroh. Everyone hurried into the pod.

"I hope we meet again soon." said Meta Knight. He began to prepare the launch.

"See you later too. And one more thing..."

"What?" asked Meta Knight. Goroh grinned.

"There's no bathroom in there. That's what you get for beating me." said Goroh.

_"YOU SON OF A BITCH I'LL MURDER YOUR FACE!"_ yelled Pikachu as the pod blasted off into the sky. Samurai Goroh gave a hearty laugh before leaving. No one noticed the small ship following the pod.

"This is why I'm the leader Jefferson. If it weren't for my order to bite the hands of the police, we wouldn't have escaped." boasted Sheldon. He glared. "Stop calling me Sheldon!"

"Hmmm... So I assume we're following these guys again?" asked Jefferson.

"Yes! No one shall beat the Mafia Squirells! NOBODY!" laughed Not-Sheldon. See, that's better than Sheldon, right Not-Sheldon? Good.

"...Mafia squirells. That's what we're going with?" asked Jefferson.

"It's a good name Right guys?" asked Not-Sheldon. The other squirells stayed silent. Except Andrew.

"We're going back into space."

_To be continued..._

* * *

_What is this secret Porky got? What was drawn on Giygas' face? How tasty is the giant fish? Where will our heroes go next? Will the squirells become recurring characters? Why do I ship Lucas and Ashley even though it's so damn cruel? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	6. Bound to the Earth

And so to make up for all of the time I didn't make a chapter, I'll be posting chapters more frequently.

* * *

_Chapter 5: Bound to the Earth_

* * *

Where we last left our heroes (Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu), they were hurtling through space inside a space pod that lacked a bathroom. They have undertaken a quest no one else was likely to take: stop Giygas' nefarious plans. Unfortunately, they have no idea where they were flying to.

"Where are we flying to?" asked Pikachu.

"...Beats me." said Fox.

"ARGH! Isn't there like a convenient map somewhere or something?" asked Pikachu.

"I'm afraid there's no map. But be patient. We shall let destiny take us to our desired location." said Meta Knight.

"Hey look! We're flying toward that red cloud!" said Fox. Everyone looked out the window and saw that they were indeed flying toward a red cloud of some sort. A red cloud of evil.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL DESTINY? We're going to get killed by those clouds!" yelled Pikachu. As he was saying that, the red clouds twisted form, turning into a menacing snake that will puncture the pod with it's fangs and fill it up with venom. Soon they shall die from an acidic bath. You're welcome for the Nightmare Fuel.

"We're not going to die." said Fox optimisticly.

"Why not? Lots of things have tried to kill us today." pointed out Pikachu.

"We're the main characters! We can't die yet!" said Fox.

"He's got a point. I imagine we're still early into the story. We cannot die now." agreed Meta Knight.

"...Okay. I'll just sit over here, away from you idiots." muttered Pikachu. The pod approached the clouds and... we cannot comprehend the nature of Giygas-clone's attack. Who can really? Let's just wait for the lights and screaming to end...

The pod escapes the red cloud sheild, except it's now heavily battered, it's occupants still screaming. It approaches an Earth-like planet...

"YOU SHOULD STOP FIGHTING IMMEDIATELY." said a Starman. He and a group of other Starmen were surrounding Ness.

"Oh COME on. Can I at least heal up before we fight?" asked Ness.

"THE NEW LAW SAYS NO. SURRENDER." said the Starman. No one noticed a pod falling from the sky. Suddenly, some of the Starmen get smashed into the ground by a huge object. Ness quickly took this opprotunity to beat the ever living crap out of the other Starmen through combination of bat swinging skills and physcic powers. The Starmen dissolved to mist, as they are only products created from Giygas' evil. Ness pats himself on the back before investigating the pod.

"Um... Hello giant space pod thing. Thank you for squishing those guys." said Ness awkwardly. The door of the pod suddenly opened up, causing Ness to panic. "AAH! ALIENS! PK ROCKING!"

"Oooooow! Migranes!" screamed Fox, who tumbled out of the pod and began rolling around the ground trying to soothe his pain.

"Oops. Sorry. Didn't expect you to come out." said Ness. Meta Knight and Pikachu came out of the pods. Luckily for them, they were not stricken by physcic powers. "Guys! You're okay!"

"Hello Ne-" began Meta Knight. Ness suddenly ran toward him and hits him with a bat.

"THAT'S FOR DITCHING US ON THE HALBERD!" yelled Ness.

"Oof... I'm quite sorry for that, but I find that beating rather unneeded." muttered Meta Knight.

"Hey, this is your place, right? It looks kinda... suckish." said Pikachu. They were currently in Onett, but everything was dark and gloomy.

"I don't blame you. When I got back here, that fat kid had just been starting his invasion. Just two days of attacks got us to surrender. Frickin cowards." explained Ness.

"Don't you mean Porky?" asked Meta Knight.

"ACK! How dare you say his name? He was evil before, but now he's even worse! I shun his name! SHUN I SAY!" yelled Ness. Unfortunately, someone heard of Ness' yelling and Starmen appeared onto the scene.

"NESS. SURRENDER YOURSELF AND DRESS UP IN A TUTU FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF OUR KING." said one of the Starmen.

"Let's get out of here!" yelled Ness. He and Meta Knight quickly absconded from the scene. Pikachu however was forced to drag Fox.

"Come on, let's get the hell out of here." said Pikachu. Fox quickly got up and began running alongside him. The Starmen finally realized that they weren't going to surrender and began pulling out blasters. Luckily, it seems that they've learned their shooting skills from Star Wars movies, so their aim was rather terrible. The two caught up with Ness and Meta Knight as Ness was pulling out a cellphone.

"Jeff! Come help me!" yelled Ness into the phone.

"Whaaaat's the password?" said Jeff in a sing-songy tone.

"...'Jeff is the best character in Earthbound'." said Ness in a complete deadpan tone.

"Alright then! Here comes the Jeffmobile!" shouted Jeff over the phone.

"Jeffmobile? Seriously, what the hell." said Pikachu, who cannot believe there was such thing as a Jeffmobile. That's when said Jeffmobile suddenly curved around a corner and came up to them. It was actually just a jeep that had "Jeffmobile" painted on it.

"Hey, it's you three! What's up?" asked Jeff.

"...Stop trying to be cool, it isn't working." said Pikachu.

"Your car doesn't even shoot lasers! Not cool man. Not cool." said Fox.

"Guys, they are catching up and we might die if they actually catch us. Get into the car now and stop wasting time deciding whether or not Jeff is cool." complained Meta Knight.

"But he's not co-" said Fox.

"GET IN THE CAR THIS INSTANT!" yelled Meta Knight. Everyone quickly got into the jeep and drove off. The Starmen stopped chasing them, looking disappointed.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT BEATEN BY A GUY DRIVING SOMETHING CALLED THE JEFFMOBILE." muttered one of the Starmen.

"...GOD WE ARE TERRIBLE." said another.

* * *

The 'Jeffmobile' was traveling across the road, staying clear of woodland creatures. After all, about a half of the woodland creatures are murderous.

"So, where is our destination?" asked Meta Knight.

"One of my friend's, Paula's house. I am leading a resistance against Porky, and we're based over there." said Ness.

"How come no one's stormed your house yet?" asked Meta Knight.

"Paula's house is a pre-school, and who seriously suspects a pre-school?" pointed out Ness.

"Everyone should suspect schools! Schools contain learning. Learning equals knowledge. KNOWLEDGE IS EVIL! SCHOOL IS EVIL! THE TEACHERS ARE THE DEMON PAWNS OF SCIENCE! SCIENCE IS EVIL! Except when applied to planes and stuff. I guess that's cool." said Fox, who quickly switched from worried to calm. Jeff seems somewhat peeved.

"Science isn't evil. Science is what got me to where I am." said Jeff.

"...Dude, you're a nerdy kid driving a car called the 'Jeffmobile'!" yelled Pikachu.

"Hey! I'm pretty cool! You know what isn't cool? NINTENDO." said Jeff. Those words were heard by everyone everywhere. People suddenly gasped, feeling as if something is going wrong in reality itself. Like plot holes. Giygas himself flinched, feeling as if something eviler than him emerged. Iwata was making plans to renew the MOTHER series... and then promptly ripped it up. Everyone in the Nintendo dimension was suddenly filled with hatred and murderous rage for Jeff.

"YOU STUPID KID! YOU'RE STUPIDER THAN ME! I WILL KILL YOU INTO INFINITY!" yelled Fox, who began to strangle Jeff.

"Fox! He's driving the car! Remember that!" yelled Meta Knight, even though he too was getting the urge to stab Jeff.

"HE MUST DIE! NO ONE LOVES HIM ANYWAY! NOT EVEN HIS OWN DAD!" yelled Fox.

"...Ouch. Even I think that's too far Fox." said Pikachu. Jeff took his hands off the wheel to try to stop Fox from strangling him. This results in the Jeffmobile crashing. Ness could only facepalm.

"For the love of God why is this happening..." muttered Ness. That's when the Starmen spawned.

"OH CRAP!" yelled Pikachu.

"WE DO NOT WANT YOU. WE WANT THE GLASSES KID." said the leader of the Starmen. Everyone looked over to Ness. He shrugged.

"Acceptable losses." said Ness. Jeff's eyes widened.

"Wait! You're not going to leave me to die, are you?" asked Jeff.

"...Well... um... RUN GUYS!" yelled Ness. He and the others ran off as the Starmen began to beat on Jeff mercilessly. Like he deserves.

"I can't believe we left that child..." murmurred Meta Knight, who felt rather guilty.

"He's probably going to appear again. Don't worry." said Ness, as if he had not just sacrificed his friend to a bunch of alien creatures. They continued to walk the path, passing by monsters who were ignoring them and were on a manhunt for Jeff. Finally, they reached Twoson. A girl greeted them.

"Ness! Glad you're safe! ...Who's those guys?" asked Paula.

"Some other Smashers." said Ness. Paula laid her eyes on Pikachu and squeed with joy.

"OHMIGOD YOU ARE SO ADORABLE!" said Paula, hugging Pikachu.

"Ha! Guess who's more interesting to Paula than you?" mocked Pikachu. Ness gritted his teeth.

"Must... not cause... unnecessary murders..." groaned Ness.

"Oh hey they stopped beating up Jeff." said Fox, noticing monsters heading toward them.

"Wait, what happened to Jeff?" asked Paula.

"Not important! Hurry!" yelled Ness. They quickly ran off to Paula's house. The monsters looked around, as if they just disappeared out of thin air.

"WHERE ARE THEY?"

"MAYBE THEY'RE INSIDE THAT PRESCHOOL."

"THAT CANNOT BE RIGHT. PRESCHOOLS ARE JUST SO INNOCENT AND CAREFREE TO HOUSE A RESISTANCE."

"GOOD POINT."

"Whoo hoo! Finally, no more monsters chasing us and crap!" cheered Pikachu.

"Hmm... I notice that a lot of the resistance workers here are children." pointed out Meta Knight.

"Adults are pretty much useless in this universe." explained Ness. Meanwhile, Fox attempts to impress the children... and fails at that.

"BEHOLD KIDDIES! I AM AN ASTRONAUT! KNEEL DOWN BEFORE ME!" yelled Fox.

"Shut up! I'm awesomer! Do you have your own ballad?" asked Orange Kid.

"...No." said Fox, disappointed with himself.

"Well hah. I have my own song. Here, I'll let you buy my hit song, "Ode to Orange Kid" for 99.99 dollars." said Orange Kid.

"Deal!" said Fox, who handed his wallet in return for a CD.

"Sucker."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Okay."

"...and that's what we are doing." said Meta Knight, who was explaining their goal and the plot holes. Ness thought things through.

"Well... if there's a plot hole here, we can seal it for you. In the meantime, you think you could do something?" asked Ness.

"What is it?"

"That fat kid is clearly planning something. I need you to infiltrate Fourside, where he is, and find out what he's doing." said Ness.

"Okay, how are we getting there?"

"Erm... You're not going to like it. Paula! Stop hugging Pikachu! Let's go Fox!" said Ness.

"Aww... But he's just so adorable!" whined Paula.

"More adorable than you Ness!" said Pikachu. Ness resisted the urge to smash his head in.

"I'm trying to get this CD to work!" said Fox.

"Darn it Orange Kid! What have I said about scamming people with your CDs?" yelled Ness.

"Silence! You do not know true excellence!" yelled Orange Kid.

"Oh whatever. Follow me..." said Ness. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu followed him to the backdoor of the buiding... where a giant slingshot was set up.

"...We're getting slingshotted there." said Pikachu in utter disbelief.

"Yeah. We're kids. Don't expect us to invent a rocket ship in one day. We're not Phineas and Ferb." said Ness.

"...Isn't there something... safer?" asked Meta Knight.

"Nope."

"This will be like an amusement park ride! Come on! Let's gooooooo!" shouted Fox. He grabbed Meta Knight and Pikachu, running into the slingshot. Ness used his telepathic power to pull the slingshot.

"Good luck guys." said Ness.

"If we land into a cliff like an old cartoon or something, I will kill you." muttered Pikachu. Ness let go of the slingshot, shooting them across the sky and toward Fourside.

Then they crash into an insurance billboard. If they weren't in so much pain, I'm pretty sure they would appreciate the irony.

"NO WE WON'T!" yelled Pikachu as he slid off the billboard.

Shut up. Anyway, they all fall down. After recovering, they look around. It seems that they've reached Fourside, except it didn't look like the same Fourside they know. For one, Starmen and Pig Mask soldiers were lining the streets and various pig related products were being sold. There were no vegetables. Just unhealthy food and pork. Especially pork. All vegetarians and healthy eaters were being round up and thrown into jail. Whether this is the perfect world or the worst world, it's up to your interpretation. Lastly, instead of the Monotoli/Monotoly building sat the Empire Pork Building in all it's glorious porkness.

"Wow. We actually made it." said Pikachu.

"Pain." muttered Fox.

"Well, it seems that the Starmen aren't searching for us. Now, which way to the Empire Pork Building..." said Meta Knight.

"This way." said Pikachu.

"How do you know?"

"Are you blind? Can you not see that other billboard?" asked Pikachu, pointing at a billboard directly across from the one they crashed in. There was a map to the Empire Pork Building and exact written directions to reach it. Meta Knight smacked himself.

"Let's just go." he muttered. They followed the exact directions, walking through the steets, unnoticed by their enemies. Eventually, they go into the Empire Pork Building, where they come across a receptionist.

"Okay, we're going to fight this chick and then hop into the elevator." said Pikachu.

"Not only would that be cruel and unnecessary, but there are cameras everywhere. Think of something more reasonable." muttered Meta Knight.

"Hold on, let me handle this." said Fox. He approached the recpetionist and cleared his throat.

"Hello, may I help you today?" asked the receptionist.

"ICE CREAM!" yelled Fox.

"Oh! You must be the idiot King Porky ordered to make himself look smarter by comparison! You and your friends can go." said the receptionist. Meta Knight and Pikachu followed Fox, wondering how that worked. Fox noticed the odd stares he was getting.

"Don't look at me. Even I have no idea what I just did." explained Fox. The elevator ascended all the way to the top floor, which was Porky's own personal floor. They entered his lavish bedroom, which was filled with comftorable stuff that he probably stole from people. "GASP! A massage chair! I can finally experience how an ocean wave feels like!"

"No stop Fox! Do not get fooled by the chair's coolness!" screamed Pikachu. But alas, it was too late. Fox was plopping himself into a message chair and began moaning.

"Wow this feels great... I need to get these for one of my Arwings..." said Fox.

"Let him have fun Pikachu. We should be looking for a file or any kind of important looking form." said Meta Knight.

"Pfft. Forms? Who uses those anymore? Storing information on computers is popular nowadays." said Pikachu.

"Wouldn't that be a bit obvious?"

"This guy's an idiot."

"Good point."

Pikachu finds Porky's computer based over at a desk. He examines the desktop. It is mainly filled with stupid stuff like "internet memes" or "pretend holdiays to make". That's when he saw "Evil Plan."

"Okay, let's see what's in here..." said Pikachu. He clicked on the file. Instead of a text document or anything, a video file begins playing a song that's familiar to anyone on the Internet.

"Ha! You just got rick-roll'd!" said Fox, who got over his massage chair urges.

"CURSE YOU INTERNET! _CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU_!" screamed Pikachu.

"Hey, what about this file?" asked Meta Knight. He clicked on a different pile, bringing up a document...

* * *

The 7 Dimensional Secrets

There are seven secrets to our dimension. It's unknown how they function, but finding a secret will grant the finder wisdom. If one were to collect all seven secrets, the secret path to the center of this dimension will be realized. Reaching the center of our dimension is like an instant-win condition. The center of our dimension contains pathways to all the universes contained in it. While we are trying to manually conquer the universes one by one via plot hole, we could also use the plot holes to travel faster between universes, making the search for the secrets easier. So far, this is what I have gathered on their locations...

-*The Giant Step in the Earthbound universe.  
-Somewhere in the Great Sea.  
-We're not entirely sure where the Mario universe one is, but there's certainly one there.  
-*Wario accidently purchased said secret, mistaken it as game code, and coded it into one of his most successful microgames. We're not sure how he managed to accompish that, but then again, he's Wario.  
-A secret area in the Lylat System.  
-Inside a museum somewhere.  
-Where the Halberd originally crashed.

*=Secret already found.

I want all of you to spend your spare time searching for the secrets. Soon, complete dominance of the Nintendo dimension shall be ours.

* * *

"Seven secrets..." murmurred Meta Knight as he read over the article.

"Psst.. hey. Guess who?" whispered a voice. The three slowly turned around and saw Porky grinning. "Sup losers."

"Hi big fat meanie!" greeted Fox.

"...Haha, that's so funny. I could have sworn that YOU'VE JUST CALLED ME FAT!" yelled Porky.

"But I did." said Fox.

"You... Forget it. I guess I'll be kicking your asses now." said Porky.

"You're one kid! We're a midget swordsman, a tall animal, and an electrical mouse. I'm pretty sure we're the ones that's going to do the ass kicking." pointed out Pikachu.

"Oh... But you don't know is..." began Porky. That's when his back began cracking as something grew from it. Spider legs formed from his flesh and Porky jumped up, letting his fake spider legs support him. "Ta-da! I'm part spider!"

"...Wow." was all Pikachu could say.

"Are you like Spider-Man though?" asked Fox.

"Yeah, I can crawl buildings and stuff."

"Can you shoot webs?"

"No. That would be weird."

"Hmph. Then you're not Spider-Man."

"Isn't any of this scaring yo-"

"I SHUN YOU!" yelled Fox.

"Oh come on! Don't shun me! I'm awesome!" said Porky.

"But you're fat." said Pikachu.

"FAT PEOPLE COULD BE AWESOME TOO!" yelled Porky.

"Ha you just called yourself fat." said Pikachu, snickering.

"...I can't believe I fell for that. ...Hey, what's your pet midget doing?" asked Porky.

"First off, I am not a midget. Second, I'm printing out your master's plan. The other Smashers should be interested in this..." said Meta Knight.

"You're not getting away that easy!" yelled Porky. Using his back spider legs, he threw himself at Meta Knight, who only managed to draw his sword before Porky smacked him across the face with one of his legs. He turned toward the others. "You're next."

"Crap! Pika-CHUUUUUUUUUU!" yelled Pikachu, sending a Thunderbolt in Porky's direction. However, Porky jumped up and grabbed onto the ceiling with his spider legs. Porky stood upside down, proud of himself. Then the ceiling cracked and he fell on top of his head. Pikachu grinned. "Told you that you were fat."

"I am not fat... I AM THE GLORIOUS WEABOO!" shouted Porky, who was delirious from hitting his head.

"...Psst. Did we win?" asked Fox.

"I guess." said Pikachu. He quickly went over to Meta Knight and shaked him back to consiousness. "Congratulations. You just got knocked out by a fat kid."

"It was a surprise attack." denied Meta Knight. He went over to Porky's computer and checks the progress of the printing. A bunch of papers come out the nearby printer, and Meta Knight collects it. "We have to get out of here. We should look for that Giant Step thing the report mentioned."

"What! We don't even know what the secrets are!" yelled Pikachu.

"If Giygas himself is seeking these 'secrets', than they clearly must be important." pointed out Meta Knight.

"Hooray! Another field trip! Leeeeeet's gooooooo!" yelled Fox, jumping out the window in excitement. Pikachu and Meta Knight leaned over the window to look for Fox, who screamed, "Don't get too excited like me!" They rolled their eyes before taking the elevator, passing the still gibbering Porky. They pry Fox off the ground before heading into the city.

"We need a new mode of transportation. Preferably something that's not called the Jeffmobile." said Meta Knight.

"Can we ste-" began Pikachu.

"No, we are not stealing a car."

"Um... what about..." asked Fox.

"We will not hatch a Yoshi and ride off into the sunset."

"Aww... Hey look, a car rental place." said Fox.

"Where?" asked Meta Knight.

"I see it too." said Pikachu.

"I'm serious, where?" asked Meta Knight. Fox and Pikachu point out to another billboard, which tells the location and directions to a car rental place. Meta Knight makes no comment. They follow the directions of the billboard, whie trying not to seem suspicious. It's sorta hard considering our heroes consists of a tall animal, an electric mouse thing, and their pet midget.

"You guys are great cosplayers! Keep it up!" said a passing Pig Mask.

"This isn't a cospla-" began Pikachu.

"Wow! And the mask's mouth even moves! Ohmigod, how did you make it? I want to make one when... EEEYARGH!" screamed the Pig Mask, who fell over due to electrocution. Fox and Meta Knight gives Pikachu a stern look.

"He was annoying!" justified Pikachu, even though this wasn't justified. They continued on, while Pikachu zapped anyone wanting tips on the art of cosplay. Eventually, they get to a car rental place. However, there was a noticeable lack of cars. Meta Knight goes to converse to the owner.

"Where's the cars?" asked Meta Knight.

"Lots of people hate this place, so they all rented cars and drove away. I made good money though." muttered the shop owner.

"ATTENTION YOU LOSER CITIZENS! IT'S YOUR FRIGGING KING SPEAKING!" yelled a familiar voice. All of a sudden, all of the tv screens around the city was projecting Porky's face. "I will reward anyone who finds these three people!" He held up a poorly drawn drawing that looked like it was drawn in 3 minutes, which it was. "I know, this is horrible. Just shut up and look for them." The screens all turned off. The shop owner, who was watching the broadcast, quickly took out a baseball bat.

"Hey, can you people turn around? It's not like I'm going to hit you or any-" began the shop owner. Pikachu quickly zapped him and stole his keys.

"Let's use his car!" said Pikachu.

"I should not be surprised that did just happen." said Meta Knight.

"AAAH! THEY'RE COMING!" screamed Fox. Pig Masks and Starmen were coming down on them. "Wait, we're just cos-players!" Everyone stopped advancing on them.

"Oh, they're very nice." complimented one of the Pig Masks.

"YOUR COSPLAY LOOKS UGLIER THAN KING PORKY'S DRAWING." said a Starman.

"Thanks!" said Fox.

"THAT WAS AN INSULT."

"Oh. Well. I'm disappointed." murmurred Fox. All of the enemies dispersed, looking for who they assume is the 'real' culprits. Fox quickly joined up with the other two in the shop owner's stolen car. They drove off. Although they have no idea where the Giant Step is, they just go with the flow.

Following destiny.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_I felt as if this chapter was a bit rushed, but I think it turned out pretty decent. Remember Nintendo fans: if you see Jeff in the streets, beat the crap out of him._

_I've also made myself a TV Tropes page for this story. Check if you're interested._

_Oh right, and the usual questions at the end. Why does destiny hate our heroes? Will people stop hating Jeff? How fat is Porky? Find out next time in the next exciting chapter!_


	7. The Title To This Chapter Was Stolen

_Greetings again. As you already know, I am HyperInuyasha, also known as, the douchebag to all of the characters in the story. I've been getting lots of complaints from Pikachu, telling me to resolve some plot holes so Giygas won't use them for evil. But I'm not going to do that. Why? Because I'm lazy and I refuse to be told what to do by a character from my own story. In fact, I should smite him for this._

_But I won't. Cause I'm lazy. Man, I really am losing my touch._

_What were we doing?_

_Oh, right. I'm writing a story. Where's the chapter title? Damn, I lost it. Ah well. You don't need the title to enjoy a story._

* * *

_Chapter 6: (Hyper lost the title to this chapter)_  
_Alternatively: The Day the Fourth Wall Died_

* * *

Where we last left our heroes, they were...

"Where's the title?" asked Meta Knight.

Shut up. I demand we all stop breaking the fourth wall here. Ahem, as I was saying...

"If you don't have a title people will think this is a stupid chapter, which it probably is." said Pikachu.

Well, you see, I had it written down but...

"This is why you should write things on your skin, so when you wake up, you have a reminder! ...Psst... don't use pernament marker though." said Fox.

SILENCE, ALL OF YOU! You are all acting like complete children! If you don't cease talking right now, I will fast forward the narration to when you finally get to the Giant Step along with Ness, leaving a giant plot hole on how you all got there.

"Please no. We're sorry." said Meta Knight.

Damn straight. Now then, our heroes had just escaped Fourside in a stolen vehicle. They have just learned more to Giygas' plan: he's trying to gather seven secrets, which will lead him to the center of the Nintendo dimension, and one of them is at Giant's Step, which is at Onett-

"Thanks for telling us where it is sucker!" yelled Pikachu.

...Crap.

"Sorry Hyper, but we couldn't afford to drive around like a bunch of spazzes. Now then, to Onett Fox!" said Meta Knight.

"Oh! We should get Ness! He's like... went there before or something." said Fox.

"Good idea. ...Wait, where are we?" asked Meta Knight.

"Um... I don't know. Has anyone here played Earthbound?" asked Pikachu.

"Wasn't Ness telling us about his adventure the day Giygas attacked?" asked Fox.

"Wait, that's right! We shall use details from Ness' story to determine where we are and what path to follow! Quick, what happened before Fourside?" asked Meta Knight.

"Um... Let's see, there was definitely a monkey involved. ...Yeah, a monkey. Oh, and then Ness and his friends met the Man in the Yellow Hat and they all went bowling with the monkey. ...Yeah, I'm pretty positive that happened." said Fox. Pikachu sighed.

"Well, they were in a desert, and before that..." recounted Pikachu. Then, using the tale Ness told in the first chapter, they retraced Ness' steps, slowly heading back toward Twoson. It was grueling process, as none of them remembered much from the story and they kept going to where Ness undertook sidequests. Eventually however, they reached Twoson. Unfortunately, they were stopped by a bunch of Starmen.

"STATE YOUR BUSINESS." said a Starman.

"We're... uh, teachers from that pre-school over there." said Meta Knight.

"OH, PROCEE- WAIT. WHAT IS THAT SMALL THING?" asked the Starman, looking at Pikachu.

"He's the class pet!" chimed Fox.

"Hey! I refuse to be a pe-" complained Fox before getting smacked by Meta Knight. "I mean, squeak squeak!"

"YOU'RE CLEAR. YOU MAY PASS." said the Starman. All of thee Starmen cleared out of the way as our heroes continued on.

* * *

"...You did what with Jeff?" asked Poo.

"It was for the greater good guys!" said Ness.

"You could have... you know. Brought him back here so WE could beat him up instead of the Starmen." said Paula.

"Hey guys!" greeted Fox as he and the others entered the pre-school.

"AAH! INTRUDERS! PK ROCKING!" yelled Ness, using PK Rocking on Fox yet again.

"Ow... Not again..." moaned Fox as he squirmed around the floor due to more painful headaches.

"Sorry... again. So, what did you guys find out?" asked Ness.

"I believe these will speak for themselves." said Meta Knight, handing Ness the papers he printed from Porky's computer. Ness' eyes studied the words carefully, while Orange Kid continued to scam Fox out of whatever money he has left.

"Hmm... Meta, I can trust you, right?" asked Ness.

"Like a father."

"Alright. Well, I never told anyone this, but when I went to Giant Step and got to my first sanctuary... I found something much more. You see, when I got there, I began hearing muttering and noises. When I got to the source of the noise, inside my mind... I was inside a large pure white room. And then, some sort of god came before me. Before I knew it, my brain suddenly was filled with knowledge about our entire dimension. I never thought much of it though... except when I entered the first tournament. In fact, it was by my knowledge of our dimension that I found out about the tournament. I was never invited. Master Hand was so impressed that I found out about the tournament that he let me in." explained Ness.

"Interesting... so, these secrets gives you knowledge about our dimension at large?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yeah. Didn't learn anything about the center of the dimension though."

"We must get going then. Anything about the plot holes?"

"No. We're still trying to find one."

"Okay then. Will you mind escorting us to Onett?" asked Meta Knight.

"No! I need to go there so I could hug my mom and eat her steak once agai- I mean rebellion type stuff! Paula! Poo! You're coming too!" said Ness.

"Just like old times then." said Poo.

"Oooh... Can I carry this little guy?" asked Paula, who was holding Pikachu in her arms once again. He smirked at Ness, who finally snapped.

"That's it..." growled Ness.

"Ha, what are you going to do?" asked Pikachu.

"**I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUR FACE**!" yelled Ness. He used his powers to toss Pikachu out of Paula's arms and into a wall. He then began beating him unmercifully with his bare hands.

"...Ouch. Ness, revenge isn't the solution to anything." said Poo.

"**SCREW YOUR WISE WORDS AND PROVERBS**!" yelled Ness as he continued to punch Pikachu. Everyone just stared at the fight in stunned silence. Then Orange Kid piped up.

"Psst... Anyone want to listen to epic music during this fight? Buy my 'Ode to Orange Kid' CD, now at the bargain price of 299.99 dollars." said Orange Kid. Unsurprisingly, everyone except Meta Knight, Ness, and Pikachu went to buy his CDs.

"Wait, wasn't it 99.99 earlier?" asked Fox.

"No."

"Alright then."

"Well, things are certainly getting weirder in here. ...I'll just go fly to Onett on my own." said Meta Knight, leaving the building.

* * *

Many minutes and much flying later, Meta Knight arrived at Onett. He sat down to rest a bit... then Ness PK Teleported in, along with everyone else.

"You didn't really need to fly here, but in my country, people would appreciate your dedication." said Poo. Meta Knight said nothing. Instead he smacked his head against the nearest surface available.

"Somebody... The pain..." moaned Pikachu.

"The solution to your problems is this Orange Kid CD is bought!" said Fox.

"...Did all of you buy Orange Kid's CDs again?" said Ness.

"Yeah." said pretty much everyone else. Ness facepalmed.

"I'm going to kill that guy... Forget it. Follow me." said Ness. He looked around suspiciously for any Starmen or Pigmasks before proceeding. He brought everyone else down the path he himself walked during the original attack of Giygas. I don't mean the former story, but Giygas' attack in Earthbound. All clear? Good. When they were almost out of the cave that is the first dungeon, Starmen appeared in front of them, holding blasters.

"HALT. YOU SHALL GO NO FURTHER." said a Starman.

"Let me handle this." said Poo, taking out his weapon, the Sword of Kings. He rushed at the enemy, sword in hand. The Starmen blasted at him, but he dodged every last laser. They attempted to use PSI attacks, but he dodged them as well. Finally close to them, he let loose pure strength, which was being forced upon the Starmen. They screamed as they got chopped in pieces. Poo stood on top of the bodies of Starmen who has not de-materialized yet. "I AM POO, THE PRINCE OF DALAAM AND SLAYER OF EVIL!"

Naturally, everyone stood in awe and fright.

"BACKUP! WE NEED BACKUP IMMEDIATELY." said one of the remaining Starmen into a walkie-talkie. Almost immediately, more Starmen converged onto the scene as Poo dived at them. Ness just scratched his head.

"Um... I guess we can keep going." said Ness awkwardly. They walked past the destruction Poo was causing and into the outside world. There, they saw a huge imprint of a foot on the ground, as if a giant had stepped in it. That's why it's called Giant's Step. ...Yeah. The place seemed safe enough... until Ness stepped outside and then something landed on him.

"What's up Pig Butt?" said Porky from on top of Ness.

"Can't... breathe... so... heavy..." said Ness from underneath.

"Get off of him! PK Fire!" yelled Paula. She sent a ball of fire flying at Porky. He jumped off Ness, dodging the attack. Ness got up and swung at Porky with his baseball bat. Porky attempted to swipe at Ness, only to get zapped by Pikachu. Meta Knight flew at Porky, swinging his sword against his spider legs. Porky pushed him away and smacked him with a spider leg. Again.

"Ouch... This is humiliating..." muttered Meta Knight.

"Forget about us! Look for the secret!" said Ness as he and Paula tried to hold off Porky. The trio ran away from the battle, walking around the area, searching for the muttering noise Ness mentioned.

"Wait! I hear somethi- wait no, that's just Ness screaming." said Fox disappointed.

"Hold on! Come stand over here!" said Pikachu. Meta Knight and Fox went over to where Pikachu was standing and all of a sudden, a muttering noise was filling their heads.

"Hmm... We found it, but what happens ne-" began Meta Knight. Suddenly, all three of them lost consiousness.

* * *

"Wake up." said a voice. The trio got up, dazed and confused. They were suddenly in a pure white room, with nothing in it except a huge light. Meta Knight kneeled to the light.

"Wise one. What is the secret that you have to offer?" asked Meta Knight.

"You don't need to kneel. For... YOU ALREADY KNOW ME!" said the light. Suddenly, a huge figure emerged from the light.

"Oh crap." said Pikachu.

"_IT'S MEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!" yelled Crazy Hand. Everyone just stared at Crazy Hand. He's the godly diety that knows the secrets of their own dimension? Is this lunatic the one who holds the fate of everything they all know and love? Well apparently, yes.

"...What is this. Even I don't understand." said Fox.

"Oh no, it's as simple as one, two, ducks!" said Crazy Hand.

"...So, you're really the one handing out secrets?" asked Pikachu.

"Yeah! It was originally my brother, but he's so covered in pain that he let ME do it! You see, the center of the dimension is so awesome, that we don't let people come over there. But then we created the secrets! If someone collected and learned all of the secrets, they are worthy to enter! And it's working out so perfectly!" explained Crazy Hand.

"No it isn't." said Pikachu.

"_**SAY WHAT?**_" yelled Crazy Hand.

"Indeed. You've been teaching villains that want to take over the entire dimension your secrets." said Meta Knight.

"Oh no, they're not villains! We have a no villain policy, and they said they're not villains! Therefore, they aren't! Jeez, you've got to learn your mathematicals and your sandwiches guys." said Crazy Hand. All three facepalmed.

"But... one of the villains are fat, and fat is evil. It makes you all heavy and stuff." said Fox.

"No... everyone that talked to me so far are children, and children are nature's fruit!" justified Crazy Hand despite his justification being run on insane troll logic.

"Children? There's another?" asked Meta Knight.

"Shh! I'm going to teach you stuff now." said Crazy Hand. Suddenly, he pointed at the trio, a light forming at his fingertip.

"OH NO LEARNING!" screamed Fox. Crazy Hand unleashed knowledge upon the trio. At first, nothing seemed to happen. But then, knowledge began flowing into the minds of our heroes. This ranged from knowledge of different universes and worlds to trivial facts about the dimension. For example, they suddenly knew about a world called Glory of Heracles, even though they had no idea what the hell it's even about. Questions were raised as others were answered in their thoughts. The information flow abruptly stopped as Crazy Hand giggled.

"Hope you enjoyed your book learnings!" said Crazy Hand.

* * *

Suddenly, they were no longer in the large white room. Instead, they were back in the real world. Things managed to turn grim while their consiousnesses were off in another realm however. Poo had been defeated, and he was muttering something about valiance as he was held up by Starmen. Ness was pinned onto the ground by Porky's legs. Paula was surrounded by Pig Mask reinforcements, with more appearing from the sky. There was no way to fight them all. Porky made a gleeful smile.

"Guess who just won losers?" asked Porky.

"Sorry guys... we failed..." said Ness.

"Silence pork butt! I hope you and your idiot friends will enjoy prison! Now then..." said Porky. He turned to the trio. "You'll never tell the other losers about Lord Giygas' plans. Just give up and apologize for being a loser."

"Guys..." muttered Ness, who looked at a parked Pig Mask ship. They got the message immediately.

"I apologize... for this!" yelled Pikachu. He jumped up to Porky and kicked him in the face. Pig Masks and Starmen came over to help their leader while Pikachu, Fox, and Meta Knight absconded to the ship.

"Ow... Don't need your help! They're getting away!" yelled Porky. The doors to the Pig Mask ship shut closed as people began banging on them. Fox and Meta Knight prepared to launch the ship as Pikachu looked out an unbreakable window. Past all of the angry faces, he saw Ness, Poo, and Paula. Instead of the pained looks they were having, they were smiling gently, glad that at least they could escape. Pikachu smiled back as the ship blasted off. Porky was pissed. "SHOOT THEM DOWN OR I'LL STOP PAYING YOU!"

"You don't pay us sir. We just do this job for the better world that your boss Giygas told us about." stated a random Pig Mask.

"JUST GET THEM!" yelled Porky. Everyone aimed blasters at the sky, attempting to shoot down our heroes. However, they couldn't quite reach them. The ships in the sky began chasing them down.

"Hold on guys! I'll try to lose them!" said Fox. He pulled the ship over, causing it to flip and turn upside down. Unfortunately, that's all it did. "...Huh. That plan worked better in my head."

"I'll do it myself." said Pikachu. He dropped down onto the floor (or rather ceiling) and opened the door. He then used Thunderbolt onto the nearest ship. This caused it to short circuit and fall down. Now then, due to poor planning and the stupidity of the Pig Masks, all of the ships were directly behind each other. This resulted in the falling ship crashing into all of the others. He looked outside the door. Porky was stomping around, clearly angry and flipping the bird to them. He laughed as Fox turned the ship right-side up again, proceeding to pilot the ship off of the planet and into the red skies. Meta Knight scanned the skies looking for something. He then found his target: a plot hole.

"Quick! Fly in there!" said Meta Knight. Fox flew into the plot hole. Just like the first time they went through one, everything was trippy and colorful. Everyone blew a sigh of relief.

"Alright. Good news is, we fully understand Giygas' plan and we learned one of the secrets." said Meta Knight.

"But the bad news is, we got a lunatic giving out the secrets, our friends got captured, oh, and we left the plot hole remover there. Great." said Pikachu.

"Look on the bright side. We're not hurt at least!" said Fox.

"...Yeah, I guess that's something to celebrate about. Bring out the confetti and crap. We're still losers, but at least we're alive losers." said Pikachu sarcastically.

"Silence. I need to send this to all of the others." said Meta Knight.

"How?" asked Fox.

"Plot hole. If Giygas can take advantage of the plot holes, so can we." said Meta Knight. He went over to a convinient printer and made multiple copies of the plans. "Take it away Hyper."

Will do.

* * *

On an island in the Great Sea, a bounty hunter, an angel, and a mercenary sit together under the stars next to a fire. The island is deserted and it was where a wormhole in the sky dropped them off to.

"Hope everyone enjoys jelly with their food." said Snake, carrying jelly in a jar.

"Oh nice! Did you make that from berries?" asked Pit.

"...Yes. Berries. They are made out of berries." said Snake. He took out his codex: yes, I finally figured out what they were called. "Otacon, have you figured out a way to get here yet?"

'I'm still trying Snake. Universes and dimensions are fragile and hard to figure out. You can only hope for a sailor to pick you up." said Otacon from the codex.

"Well, this is just great. Those three not only stole my ship, but because of them, we're stranded on a deserted island. I am so killing them." muttered Samus.

"We have each other, right?" asked Pit.

"Yes. Stuck with two people that have been paired up with me in the fandom. Just perfect." muttered Samus. Hey, it's better than being shipped with Peach and Zelda, right?

"...For the record, you're falling in love with me, right?" asked Snake. Samus pointed her arm cannon at him. "Just kidding. ...Wait, what the hell's that falling from the sky?" asked Snake. Some papers were slowly falling out of the sky. They grabbed them and began to read.

* * *

"...and that was-a the story of the Thousand-Year Old Door-a." said Mario at a dinner table. He was seated at a table along with Luigi, the Ice Climbers (Popo and Nana), and Gannondorf.

"Yay! That was awesome!" said Popo.

"Tell us another story! Please please!" pleaded Nana.

"No more stories! As soon as I find a way back to my universe, I shall summon my vast hordes of monsters and attack you for telling so many stories!" yelled Gannondorf.

"...Except you are-a stuck here. And you-a have to sleep here. Keep complaining, or I'll-a kick you out." said Mario. Gannondorf stayed silent.

"Hey guys! Do you want to hear one of my stories?" asked Luigi.

"No." said everyone else.

"Aw..." said Luigi.

"MAIL CALL!" shouted a voice from outside. Mario went out and saw Parakarry (Paper Mario) at his front door.

"Hey Mario. These papers aren't in envelopes, but some of them are addressed to you and your brother." said Parakarry. He handed Mario some papers before flying off.

"What's that?" asked Popo. Mario simply passed the other papers to the others to read.

* * *

Peach in the meantime was trapped in the Animal Crossing world. She didn't mind though. All of the animal villagers here were kind and peaceful. She had to work a bit for a raccoon though, but she now has a house.

"Ooh! This chair would look lovely right next to my rug!" said Peach, who was moving furniture around her house. Suddenly, her door opened. It was just one of the villagers, Peanut.

"Hello Peach, slacker!" said Peanut.

"Oh hello! Why are you here?" asked Peach.

"I found this letter for you. Weird thing though, I found it lying outside, slacker." said Peanut, handing Peach the letter.

* * *

Lucas sat inside the basement of Ashley's house, feeling as lonely and depressed as ever. However, his head also felt dizzy a little. The door opened and he flinched. Nothing to worry about though. It was Red, Ashley's helper demon thing. At least he was friendly to him though. He's risking torment from Ashley by bringing him food.

"I brought you some pizza! Hope you enjoy!" said Red.

"Oh no... I already ate that omelette A-A-Ashley gave me." said Lucas, who began smiling creepily.

"She actually made them?"

"Yeah... They're not p-poisoned. Tastes funny though.. My head feels funny..." said Lucas.

"...Don't eat food made by Ashley. Chances are, she may have put a potion inside or something." said Red.

"She would never do that." said Lucas, as if Ashley was the nicest person in the world.

"...Okay. No more Ashley food for you. Oh, and I found this piece of paper with your name on it." said Red.

"Ha... HA HA HA! Who would write something to me? I have no friends. No o-o-one loves me."

"I think it's better for you to starve than to eat that mind control junk. Just read it." said Red, handing him the piece of paper.

* * *

Kirby walked through Dreamland, having finally made it out of the death trap that was the Smash Castle.

"Are we here yet?" asked a voice from his stomach.

"Yes! You can come out now!" said Kirby. He opens his mouth and Captain Olimar and a bunch of Pikmin come out.

"Thank you for the ride friend. Me and my Pikmin friends wouldn't have survived without you." said Olimar.

"You're going to like Dreamland! There's nice people, there's food. there's the beautiful scenery, then there's food..." listed Kirby.

"I detect a papery object falling from the sky." said Olimar. Kirby noticed said paper, jumped up, and caught it. "What is printed on there?"

* * *

Meta Knight finished tossing all of the pieces of paper out into the plot hole.

"Now then, if I'm correct, the papers will reach all of the Smashers somehow. That is the magic of the plot hole." explained Meta Knight.

"Will people actually help us though? I mean, Giygas is freaky and evil and stuff." said Pikachu.

"Of course they'll help! They're all heroes after all!" said Fox. Then he frowned. "Except for Bowser, Gannondorf, and Jigglypuff."

"Jigglypuff?" asked Pikachu.

"She is a pink blobby ball of evil singing." muttered Fox.

"Her singing is terrible." agreed Meta Knight.

"Yeah, and who knows what she does secretly." said Pikachu. They just sat there in awkward silence.

"Where do you suppose we'll go?" asked Meta Knight.

"Like you said man. Destiny." said Pikachu.

"Yep. Destiny." said Fox. Finally, their ship reached the end of the plot hole, leading them to who know's where. The one thing that can be certain is that they'll be going on another adventure.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Wow, it takes me months or weeks to make a single chapter yet it took me a few hours to compose this one. I guess not being lazy does have it's advantages. Still doesn't mean I'll go fix the plot holes though. Whatever. In the meantime, hooray, we caught up to where the old story was! Except this time, I'll actually continue on! Let's celebrate with some Pepsi and wicked elxir! Oh, and pizza, don't forget the pizza. Hmm? Oh right. Questions._

_Will the other Smashers help our heroes? Where did the plot holes lead? Will Porky finally lose some weight? When will I find the title to this chapter? What is Lucas on? Who will Samus fall in love with? Will Gannondorf get away from these weirdos? Is Jeff dead? Find out next time in the next exciting chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	8. Animal Crossing Over to A New World

_Hello again. Didn't expect me to update this quick, didn't you? Well then, I had a full summer of opprotuinity to post chapters, but I blew it. So I'm dedicating what time I have left to this story. Now, as a special gift to you, here's a random rant on soda._

_The only reason why I'm awake at 3:30 in the morning is because of soda. It's running through my veins. It powers my body as I continue to type away at this computer. Typity typity type. I enjoy Pepsi and Coca-Cola, but sometimes I like to drink Sprite. For some reason, I find Pepsi to be a more enjoyable drink than Coca-Cola. Not sure why. Maybe I'm just weird. Anyway, at the time of typing this sentence, I'm drinking another glass of soda, despite it being so late. Oh god the soda and sugar I think I'm going to collapse and go to sleep at any moment._

_And we now continue with our feature presentation._

* * *

_Chapter 7: (Animal) Crossing Over to A New World_

* * *

Last time, our heroes discovered one of the dimensional secrets and managed to escape to... who knows where. In this chapter, we'll find out where they're going next... later on because the perspective is now on Giygas!

Giygas watched a screen, eating some of the cupcakes King Boo delivered. On the screen, he watched Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB run screaming through a hedge maze. Closely behind them trailed the Ultimate Chimeria, who was out for blood. Why had he forced them all together in a hedge maze? Because, it's amusing. Unfortunately for Giygas, his amusement ended. The Smashers found their way to the exit and pressed a button, closing a gate and perventing the Ultimate Chimeria eating their faces. Falco faced the camera.

"Oi! We ran the maze for you? Are you satisfied now?" asked Falco.

"Fine. You may head back to your prison now." said Giygas. A portal opened up near the three, sucking them in and throwing them together into a jail cell.

"Urgh... I can't take much more of this..." cried Jigglypuff.

"I AM WORRIED FOR THE OTHER SMASHERS - ERROR - I LIKE JELLY DONUTS." said ROB. Ever since the day Giygas took over, he's been malfunctioning.

"Oh I know! I'll cheer us up with a song!" said Jigglypuff, taking out a microphone.

"NO DON'T SI-" cried Falco.

"SINGING IS THE SMILE THAT'S ON THE FACES OF PUPPIES. PROCEED." said ROB.

"Okay then! Tra la la la..." began Jigglypuff. Before she could continue however, Vaati came over, covering his ears.

"Enough of your silly singing! Singing is great and all, but I would love a song that doesn't make me fall asleep!" complained Vaati. Suddenly, a bunch of papers appear in their cell. Vaati noticed this. "What's that?"

"SCANNING... IT IS EITHER PAPER OR TURTLES. MY SENSORS TELL ME IT'S MOST LIKELY TURTLES." said ROB. Vaati snatched a sheet of paper from Falco's hands.

"Hey, I was reading that!" yelled Falco.

"Let's see here... seven dimensional secrets... oh no. Oh no oh no oh no! THIS IS TEEEEEERIBBLE!" cried Vaati. He ran out of the cell room and ran throughout the castle screaming, eventually reaching Giygas on his throne.

"Vaati, I have a job for you and Ridley..." said Giygas.

"No time sir! Look!" said Vaati, handing him the piece of paper. Giygas looked over it before giving an unamused look.

"You just printed out our plan on a sheet of paper." pointed out Giygas.

"Look at the last line." pointed out Vaati in a weak voice before running behind a pillar. Giygas squinted at the last line: '**Papers copied by Meta Knight and sent to everyone**'. He then unleashed pure rage, causing everything in the room to set on fire. Vaati ran around, screaming about his outfit being on fire. Suddenly, Giygas summoned all of his minions, most of whom were wearing awkward clothing: King Boo wore an apron that said 'Cupcake Master', Ashley had pink pajamas on, and Ridley was wearing a dress. Everyone, including Giygas, gave him an awkward look.

"...I'm trying to get a lady's discount at a restaurant." explained Ridley.

"Interesting. Now then sir, why did you wake me up?" asked Ashley.

_"THE SMASHERS KNOW. THEY KNOW OUR PLAN! WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?_" yelled Giygas. Everyone looked at each other until they heard something from behind a pillar that Vaati wasn't behind. Giygas destroyed the pillar, showing Porky cowering behind it.

"Oh, um, yo. Was' up dawgs?" asked Porky.

"_DON'T HIDE YOUR FAILURE BEHIND HORRIBLE GANGSTER TERMS. DO. YOU. KNOW. ANYTHING. ABOUT THIS!_" yelled Giygas, throwing the sheet of paper at Porky.

"Well... you see... the tall stupid Fox, that little mouse thing, and their pet midget broke into my computer and..." began Porky.

"_You put the plans on the computer, didn't you? **DIDN'T YOU!**_" yelled Giygas. Everyone cringed. "**_I TOLD YOU TO WRITE EVERYTHING ON FORMS! NO ONE SUSPECTS IT!_**"

"But forms are for los-" began Porky.

"**_YOUR JUDGEMENT HAS REVEALED OUR PLANS! WHO KNOWS HOW MANY OF THOSE IDIOT SMASHERS KNOW ABOUT THIS? GUESS WHO GETS TO SPEND TIME IN THE VOID_**?" said Giygas. Porky screamed as Giygas transformed into his abominational form and sucked him in. Giygas changed back into his catish form. Speaking of cats, Mewtwo suddenly came.

"Uh... Did I miss anything?" asked Mewtwo. Roy followed him in.

"Ooh! Fire! I love fire! Sometimes I set things on fire for fun and-" began Roy.

"Silence! Ridley, you were originally going with Vaati on another mission, but now I need you to get intel on the Smashers. Vaati, instead, you'll be with Mewtwo." said Giygas.

"Joy..." said Vaati, who wasn't very ethusiastic.

"Where will we be going?" asked Mewtwo.

"To the Animal Crossing world." said Giygas. Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

"...Are you serious?" said Mewtwo.

"I am. I believe that the museum that contains one of the secrets is present there." said Giygas.

"Okay. Let's get going Vaati." said Mewtwo.

"But... that place has filthy animals." complained Vaati.

"Get over yourself for 5 seconds. Ashley... I... guess you can go back to sleep." said Giygas.

"Great." said Ashley. Instead of heading home though, she just collapsed onto the floor, sleeping.

"And Roy, get rid of the fire and get her off this floor. I don't care how hot the fire is or how tired she is." commanded Giygas.

"But... I only cause fires and I don't like carrying people." complained Roy.

"**_DO IT OR ELSE!_**" yelled Giygas.

"Okay... Come here Ashl- OW SHE IS BITING ME! Okay, I'll get rid of the fi- OH MY GOD WHY IS MY HAND SO FLAMABLE AND EXPENDABLE AAH!" screamed Roy.

* * *

The ship finally emerged out of the plot hole, leading our heroes to... a bright and cheery looking planet.

"Wow, there's nothing deadly!" said Fox.

"Yeah. I guess we finally got a lucky brea-" began Pikachu. Suddenly, something bumped into their ship, sending them spinning. They all look out a window to see who rammed them.

"Oh come on this is ridiculous." said Meta Knight. The ship that rammed them had squirrels inside. Mafia space squirrels.

"We're back bithces!" yelled Not Sheldon. Yeah, I remember that he's Not Sheldon instead of Sheldon.

"Have you really followed us all the way here?" asked Meta Knight.

"That's creepy and completely whack." said Fox.

"We are a determinate bunch, yes." said Jefferson.

"We're in space agai-" began Andrew.

"_SHUT UP ABOUT THE SPACE_! It's always about the space! You've been talking about the crap every second of every day we've been stuck in space! Why, if I had a nickel for every time I wanted to punch you-" ranted Not Sheldon.

"Er... boss?" said another squirrel.

"What is it Joey!" yelled Not Sheldon.

"'Dose guys are gettin' away." said Joey in a stereotypical mafia grunt voice. Not Sheldon turned. Apparently, they left while he was ranting.

"We're still in space." said Andrew.

"Ugh... Head for the planet and find them!" yelled Not Sheldon, their ship flying off toward the cheery planet.

* * *

"La la la... Searching for shells, trying to pay the debt..." sang Peach as she skipped along the beach. Then, she spotted a huge metal object in the sky. "Oh no! Aliens! I must solve the problem!" She took out her slingshot and shot in the air. The tiny rock she launched hit the hull of the metal object, causing it to fall out of the sky and into the beach. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu crawled out, coughing.

"Princess!" said Meta Knight, shocked.

"Oh! It's you guys! Sorry I shot you down with my slingshot!" said Peach, who was equally as shocked.

"Well... wait, you shot us down with a frigging slingshot?" asked Pikachu.

"Yes."

"...What the hell does that thing shoot?" asked Pikachu.

"Let me try!" said Fox. He grabbed Peach's slingshot and shot into the sky. He waited. Nothing happened.

"...and you were expecting... what?" asked Meta Knight.

"I was sorta expecting a cloud to fall out of the sk-" said Fox. Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly), a cloud falls on top of him and crushes him.

"Oh dear! Physics is broken again!" said Peach. "Bring him to my house!" She and the others drag Fox out from underneath and they begn dragging them toward the direction of Peach's house. In the meantime, a hatch on the 'cloud' opened up, revealing Vaati and Mewtwo.

"And you were expecting what from this plan?" asked Mewtwo.

"No one would expect a cloud to be containing two fabulous evil villains!" explained Vaati.

"Whatever. ...Who are you?" asked Mewtwo. In front of them was a raccoon wearing an apron.

"I'm Tom Nook! I see you are new citizens in town!" said Tom Nook.

"Um, we're not..." said Vaati.

"I understand you're worried about a house? Well due to the mayor being a lazy guy and not anticipating new arrivals, I have already built two houses! Now, together, that'll be 100,000 bells." calculated Tom Nook.

"...What?" was all Mewtwo could say.

"Don't have any money? Don't worry friends! I have an exciting employment opprotunity for both of you!" said Tom Nook, who began dragging the two confused villains behind them.

"...What just happened?" asked Vaati.

"I think we just bought ourselves a ticket to hell." muttered Mewtwo.

* * *

"So, what you printed on that paper was true..." murmurred Peach. They all sat together in her home, discussing stuff and wondering how Fox could get crushed by a cloud.

"Where are we anyway?" asked Pikachu.

"Oh, you're in Smashtown! It's a pretty friendly place and with nice people. Oh, and it's Flea Market Day in a few days! I heard that it's going to be pretty fun!" said Peach.

"Have you seen any... _evil_ around here?" asked Meta Knight.

"No, unless you count Tom Nook. He's nice, but he's pretty money grubbing." said Peach.

"Money... Give us the money General or we'll shoot you with our planes..." droned Fox from a nearby bed.

"Speaking of Tom Nook, I have to pay off a debt for the house. But he's kind enough to let me pay it bit by bit at a time." said Peach.

"Oh my god Andross you look like a monkey..." said Fox. He woke up, looking around. "Hey, anyone else feel as if physics is broken?"

"Well, you were somehow crushed by a cloud." said Meta Knight.

"...That's pretty cool I guess. Hey, is there anything nice in this place?" asked Fox.

"Not really, but we have a place where you could design clothes and there's the museum..." said Peach.

"Yes! I can finally live my dream as a pilot with sweet clothes I can make!" cheered Fox.

"Wait, museum?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yeah! All of the villagers are always donating stuff to it! There's fossils, there's an aquarium, there's a bug farm but the owner doesn't seem too happy about it..." explained Peach.

"Hold it. Chances are, the museum may be the museum mentioned in the plans." said Meta Knight.

"Pfft. It's probably just a crazy coincidence." said Pikachu.

"Since when is anything a coincidence?" asked Meta Knight.

"...Holy crap, you're right! We have to go to the museum right now!" said Pikachu.

* * *

Meanwhile, Vaati and Mewtwo are planting flowers and trees in front of Tom Nook's shop. They are pissed as hell.

"This is the most ridiculous thing I've done." muttered Vaati.

"Agreed. I would kill that blasted raccoon if it weren't for the 'rules'." said Mewtwo.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you haven't heard of the rules yet. Well, some universes have rules applied to them that everyone abides to, even if they don't want to. In this universe, we cannot cause violence, save for accidents. Another example, in the Professor Layton universe, everyone's required to answer a puzzle everytime they talk to someone."

"Huh. I never knew about that. I hope that doesn't come to bite us in the ass later." said Vaati.

* * *

The trio and Peach ran toward the museum, in search for another secret. However, someone stopped them. It was the most dreaded creature in existance...

The hippopotimis.

"Yo, Peach! Who are your friends, squirt?" asked the hippo.

"Oh, hello Biff. We need to head somewhere right now so..." muttered Peach.

"Come on! Let me meet these guys!" said Biff. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu looked at each other.

"I need to make sure nothing goes horribly wrong." excused Meta Knight, running off with Peach.

"I'm allergic to hippos." lied Pikachu.

"No you're not!" yelled Fox.

"Look over there, something shiny!" said Pikachu, running off as Fox turned away.

"Where... damn it." said Fox.

"So, how are you, squirt?" said Biff.

"Um, pretty good." said Fox.

"Nice! You seem pretty fit? Do you lift weights, squirt?" asked Biff.

"No, I fly in planes and I fight with a staff when I don't have a blaster." explained Fox.

"Haw! What a card! Hey, you seem like a real funny guy, so here's a gift, squirt!" said Biff, taking something out.

"I really need to... oh my god." said Fox. Biff presented him with a gyroid, which danced in his hands. Fox took it, beholding it like a treasure. "It's so beautiful..."

* * *

_At the museum..._

Meta Knight, Pikachu, and Peach entered the museum, while it's curator, Blathers, slept in the middle of the room.

"Um... excuse me sir..." said Meta Knight.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! GET AWAY FROM ME BUGS! ...Oh, so sorry. Welcome to the museum. As you can see, our art exhibit is over..." said Blathers.

"Actually, we're here for something else." said Peach.

"Hoo? What is it?" asked Blathers.

"Looks pops, we're looking for a secret about our dimension and stuff. Understand?" asked Pikachu.

"...Aaah. I thought I was the only one who knew about the secret. Hoo." said Blathers. He gave a suspicious look. "This secret is a prized entry in the museum. So prized, it's not even on display. In fact, I have hidden it. Hoo." said Blathers.

"Why would you need to hide it? Everyone's kind and peaceful." said Peach.

"Indeed, but from the tales I've heard from the secret, there are many villains and the like out there. In case they ever came to our peaceful universe, I hid the secret." said Blathers.

"Let us see it! We're not inherently evil!" said Pikachu.

"No. You seem like a hooligan type. So hoo to you sir." said Blathers.

"Why you..." said Pikachu, electricity leaking from his cheeks. Yes, it was leaking.

"No, don't!" yelled Meta Knight.

"CHUUUU!" yelled Pikachu, He threw a volt of lightning at the owl... but it doesn't affect him. Blathers chuckles.

"It's clear that even inter-dimensional travelers like you don't know the rules. Hoo." said Blathers, as if he wasn't nearly killed just now.

"Rules? There's rules?" said Pikachu.

"I heard of that. Some universes have rules, and I guess no violence is the rule to this universe. I suppose Master Hand lifted it when we were in the Brawl tournament." explained Peach.

"Correct young lady. However, if you guys are so desperate to see the secret, I'll let you see it on one condition." said Blathers. He looked off in the direction of the aquarium exhibit. "I've been searching for a specific fish. One that will make the museum feel complete. I need the Coelacanth fish. It is hard to find, but if you people manage to get it, I will let you obtain the secret. Hoo." said Blathers.

"Very well. We accept." said Meta Knight.

* * *

"Hey Fox! Are you still out here?" asked Pikachu.

"Yeah!" said Fox, running up to greet him.

"Good. We need your help on a fishing trip." said Pikachu.

"Oh! This is a good time to show off the new main character... ta-da!" said Fox. He brought out the Gyroid, who now wears a fancy suit along with a neat bow tie.

"...What."

"He is totally awesome! He's going to become our bestest friend and he'll be a great fisherman and stuff!" said Fox excitedly.

"...Are you... drunk?" said Pikachu, who was utterly confused.

"Nope! Just dropped on my head as a baby!" said Fox.

"Argh. Whatever. Bring your dumb doll thing. If we catch something called the Coelacanth, the guy at the museum will let us get the secret." said Pikachu. Unfortunately, Mewtwo was in the vicinity and overheard what he said.

"Hey, did you hear that?" said Mewtwo.

"Hold on, I'm still trashing Nook." said Vaati. He had been told to write down an advertisement on the town message board for Tom Nook. Instead, he decided to write a four page rant on how Tom Nook is a douchebag and is bad at everything. "Aaaaaaand done! Perfect! Hmm... Maybe I should have written it in cursive, that's pretty nice..." Mewtwo picked him up.

"Are you even listening to me?" Vaati shook his head. "...Are you at least listening to me now?" He nodded. "Good, now listen here..." Mewtwo then began to explain what he heard. Even more unfortunately however, someone else overheard what was overheard. It was... the squirrels.

"Hey, do ya' hear dat boss?" said Joey.

"Yes... This 'secret' thing must be important. If we catch that fish before those jerks, we will get the secret before them! They shall cry and beg for the secret! Cry I say!" said Not Sheldon.

"Um... Not Sheldon, I don't want to interrupt, but none of us know how to fish." said Jefferson.

"Silence! I am the boss! You don't tell me what to do!" said Not Sheldon.

"Hey fellow squirrels! Nice to meet you, slacker." said a voice. The squirrels all turned around and were face to face with Peanut.

"Hmph! HMMMMMMPH!" said Andrew. His mouth had been duct-taped so he would cease talking about space.

"Oh! Let me get that off of you, slacker!" said Peanut. She leaned over and ripped off the tape from Andrew's mouth.

"Thank you! We are from space!" said Andrew.

"Space? Wow, that sounds awesome, slacker!" said Peanut.

"Space is awesome. There are so many reasons on why space is so great..." agreed Andrew.

"Someone kill me." muttered Not Sheldon.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_That chapter was shorter than the other ones I've posted recently, but I'm glad it's finally done, considering that this chapter was never made in the original story. Everything else from this point will be completely new. Also, should I describe setting more? Ah well._

_Now then, for the usual crappy questions. Why would Blathers leave such an important secret inside a museum? Will physics be broken any further? Will our heroes get the fish? Will more squirrels be revealed? How is it like to be trapped within Giygas? Will the new Gyroid main character be as popular as the others? Find out next time in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	9. The Best Fishing Trip Ever

**_Greetings pathetic readers of your dimension. Your author has gone away, so I broke out of the fourth wall to do the intro. I'm going to become the leader of the Nintendo dimension, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Those idiots Vaati and Mewtwo better get the secret... or else._**

_...The WTF?_

**_Oh great, it's this guy._**

_I leave for five minutes to get a soda and you hijack my opening? Shoo! Go back to where you belong! ...Sorry folks, I really got to get that fourth wall fixed. Anyway, here's the next chapter of the story. Enjoy while I try to repair this thing._

* * *

_Chapter 8: Best Fishing Trip Ever_  
_Alternate Title: THE GOD DAMN FORUTH WALL KEEPS BREAKING_

* * *

Last time, our heroes have gone to the Animal Crossing realm and have discovered that one of the dimensional secrets are held in the museum there. Unfortunately, the curator owl, Blathers, will only let them have it if they give him a Coelacanth, a rare fish. Unfortunately, the flamboyant Vaati and giant cat abomination thing Mewtwo heard about this and is planning to get it as well. Also squirrels. Who will catch the Coelacanth? We'll find out right now.

Fox (the people's hero), Meta Knight (tactical stealth action), and Piakchu (has no idea what he's doing), and Gyroid (the new man character everyone should love) are pushing a boat into the water. What's that? There's no boats in Animal Crossing? Ha ha ha... look, I'm the author and you're just the reader. The only way for you to hijack the story from me would be by breaking through the fifth wall, but I doubt that's ever going to happen (Homestuck did it though). What was I doing? Um... are they planning to rob a bank? Oh wait no, they're going fishing. Yes, fishing.

"Good luck guys!" Peach waved from the shore.

"Don't worry princess! We shall return soon!" said the tactical stealth action master. He frowned. "Where'd you get these descriptions found? And when are you going to repair the fourth wall?"

Ever heard of pokecapn? He's doing a Let's Play with friends of his in Mario Party... oh forget it. And don't worry about the fourth wall. Besides, it's probably going to break again later.

"Let's go Gyroid! We're going places!" said the people's hero.

"WHIIIIIR!" was the noise that came from the thing.

"When are you going to get rid of that thing?" asked Mr. Has No Idea What He's Doing.

"Never! He's going fishing with us and that's final!" yelled Fox. They finished pushing the boat in the water, hopping in. They waved Peach goodbye as they set off on a fishing trip.

* * *

"Hmm... The Coelacanth only shows up when it's raining and snowing... It's not raining. I'm glad though, because my clothes would have been ruined." read Vaati out of a book. As if on cue, it began raining. He looked up into the sky. "CURSE YOU HYPER!_ CUUUURSE YOU_!"

"Stop yelling at the weird guy. We need to test our powers to see how much it has been nerfed." said Mewtwo.

"Alright then... Stand back..." said the wind mage. He got in a stance, causing wind to swirl around him. However, the wind wasn't very powerful, as it just moved leaves and water and stuff. He also made his outfit even messier. "Well, I can't cut things to pieces, but it's still wind."

"Okay, cannot generate energy anymore. Hmm... I'll try my mental powers." said Mewtwo. He looked around for a possible test subject, spotting the mayor, Tortimer. He closed his eyes, and upon opening them, he was seeing from Tortimer's point of view.

"Ah ha ha ha! It works! (cough)(hack) Maybe I should have tested it on something younger." said Tortimer in Mewtwo's voice. Mewtwo's mind left Tortimer, leaving the old turtle very confused. "Huh, whoozit?"

"Well, now that we know which of our powers work, we should go." said Vaati. That's when they heard footsteps. Behind them was Tom Nook, bringer of doom. Tremble at his... raccoon...ess. Mwhahahaha.

"Hey! You haven't finished your job yet!" complained the raccoon.

"Oh crap, run!" yelled Mewtwo. They ran over to a river, where they had set their boat. Vaati used his wind power to push the boat in the watter and the two jumped in, letting the river carry them toward the ocean. Tom Nook shook his fist.

"You can't evade me forever!" shouted Tom Nook.

* * *

"Sir, I don't see why we are bringing guns onto the boat." complained Jefferson. All of the squirrels are pushing a boat to sea, which was filled with weapons and fishing poles. Not Sheldon hit Jefferson with his own fishing pole.

"I'm the boss! Don't tell me what I should do! If it weren't for my plans to ditch Andrew over there, he would keep asking us to go back to space." said Not Sheldon. He cringed and looked behind him, where Peanut and Andrew were still talking about space.

"Yes, but according to the Rules to the-" began Jefferson.

"Yeah yeah blah blah shut up. We don't need rules! We break them! Get your ass on the boat now!" said Not Sheldon. Jefferson sighed. This is going to be a long fishing trip.

* * *

"Man, fishing sucks." complained Pikachu.

"How so?" asked Meta Knight, who wore a fishing hat on his head and honestly looked silly.

"It's raining, this boat smells terrible, and we haven't caught any fish yet!" complained Pikachu.

"We got tires and boots though! If we ever lose our shoes, we have these spares!" said Fox positively.

"Yeah, like that's going to happ- wait, did you just give your fishing pole to that... thing?" asked Pikachu. Indeed, inside the Gyroid's hands was Fox's fishing pole.

"WHIIIIIR!"

"Don't worry, he's got us covered." said Fox. Pikachu resisted the urge to throw the noisy artifact off the boat.

"Hold on, I got something on my line!" shouted the knight. He reeled up the fishing pole. He pulled... a boot out of the water. Fox took it, a giddy experession on his face.

"Yes! Now we got three pairs of boots! Victory!" shouted Fox.

"See, we're not going to find any... woah!" shouted Pikachu, falling over. A strong gust of wind went over the boat, pushing it over the waves. Fox held onto his Gyroid like a puppy. I'm saying that the gyroid is the puppy, not that Fox is the puppy holding the gyroid. All right, I'll shut up now.

"Strange, no wind was forecasted." noted Meta Knight.

"I did that!" boasted a voice. Coming up from behind them was another boat. Inside was a man who had nice looking but ruined clothing and Mewtwo.

"GASP! MEWTWO!" yelled Fox.

"Yeah! Mewtwo you traitor!" yelled Pikachu.

"Um.. actually, I did that." said Vaati, who was dissapointed they didn't notice him. Fox and Pikachu scratched their heads.

"Who are you?" they both said.

"I'm a villain from the Legend of Zelda series." stated Vaati.

"...Did you hit your head? You don't look like Gannondorf." said Pikachu.

"Ooh! Maybe it's Gannondorf from another timeline!" theorized Fox.

"I AM NOT THAT BIG-NOSED FREAK!" yelled Vaati. The wind around him surged, coinciding with his anger.

"...Oh! You're the new guy from Skyward Sword! Nice to meet you!" greeted Fox.

"Guys, he's from Four Swords, Four Swords Adventures, and Minish Cap." pointed out Meta Knight.

"...Shadow Link?"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! MY NAME IS VAATI! It's always Gannondorf getting the attention! IT'S ALWAYS HIM! There's other villains too you know! Like, me, Majora, Veran..." listed Vaati.

"Who?" asked Pikachu.

"ARGH! THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS I JOINED GIYGAS! I DON'T WANT THAT BIG NOSED FREAK TAKING ALL OF THE SCREEN-TIME! I WANT ANOTHER GAME! I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT..." screamed Vaati. His rage began shaking their boat.

"Hey, stop rocking the boat or..." said Mewtwo. Too late. The wind flipped the boat over, with Vaati in it. Mewtwo's lucky enough to have the abillity to float. He sighed, flipping the boat back over and dragging Vaati out of the water.

"Thanks. So anyway, we're here to get the fish before you! The secret shall belong to Team Giygas!" said the wet mage, who was attempting to dry out his clothes.

"Oh yeah?" dared Pikachu.

"Yeah! Us too!" said another voice. Everyone turned, seeing a boat filled with squirrels and weapons.

"We're back, again!" yelled Not Sheldon.

"Who are these guys?" asked Mewtwo.

"You'd rather not know." said Meta Knight.

"Can it midget! We're going to get the fish and get the secret... JUST TO MAKE YOU CRY! MWHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Not Sheldon. Meanwhile, everyone else, including the rest of the squirrels, just thought about how ridiculous and stupid his plan is.

"Yeah... We're not taking you seriously." said Pikachu.

"Youw will now as soon as we fill your boats with bullet holes! Open fire men!" yelled Not Sheldon. Every squirrel grabbed a weapon from the boat as thunder surged through the skies, making an appropriate backdrop. They began shooting at the boats. But no bullets came out. Instead, bubbles flowed out. The squirrels were confused. "...What."

"I tried to tell you about the rules boss." said Jefferson.

"Argh! ...Can we at least throw them at those guys?" asked Not Sheldon, pointing at the two villains.

"Um... Yeah, I don't think that's deadly. More like painful." said Jefferson.

"Alright, everyone throw!" yelled the leader, leading all of the other squirrels in throwing the guns at Mewtwo and Vaati. They flinched as the guns hit them in the head and kneecaps. Why nowhere else, I don't know. Maybe they're just unlucky.

"Ouch! Why are you throwing it at us? What about... hey, they're gone." said Vaati. Everyone turned to where the heroes were, but they have dissapeared.

* * *

"How come we're always surrounded by crazy people?" asked Pikachu.

"I don't know. What about you Gyroid?" asked Fox.

"WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!"

"Well said little buddy. Well said." said Fox. Water splashed into their boat as the villain's boat raced by; Vaati using his wind powers to move the boat like a motor boat.

"We're faster and better than you!" gloated Vaati. He was hit in the head with another gun. This caused him to mess up and flip the boat over. Again. The squirrels came by, laughing. Meta Knight ignored the weirdo fest and scanned the water surface for the Coelacanth. That's when he saw it: a large fish with a shark fin.

"Paddle this way! I think that might be it!" said Meta Knight. He threw the fishing line, making it land right next to the fish. Vaati quickly climbed over the boat, since Mewtwo didn't bother to turn it right-side up this time. He unleashed a blast of wind, blowing Meta Knight back. Unfortunately, this caused him to pull back on the fishing pole, bringing the line out of the water, which scared the fish away. Vaati extended his hand to Mewtwo.

"Where's the fishing pole?" demanded the mage.

"I thought you had them." said the cat thing. They realized their failure. "Ugh... I'll head back to the mainland to get the fishing poles..." The cat floated off toward the mainland. Vaati cried after him.

"Wait! Could you at least turn the boat right-side..." said Vaati, who ended up falling into the water again. With both the heroes' and the villain' setback, the squirrels took the chance to throw their fishing line in it. Luckily for them, the fish went over to their line and bit on the bait.

"YES! WE WIN! Joey, help me reel him up!" said Not Sheldon.

"Right boss." said Joey. Both he and Not Sheldon grabbed onto the fishing pole, tugging it while reeling in the fish at the same time. Finally, they pulled it out. It wasn't no ordinary fish.

It wasn't the coelacanth either.

"N-Not Sheldon! Th-That's a shark!" screamed Jefferson. All of the squirrels squeaked in horror as the shark they pulled up growled at them. Yes, it growled. I'm not sure how sharks act out of water. Do I look like a shark to you? The shark let go of the bait and began tackling the squirrels. Meta Knight, Fox, Pikachu, and Gyroid just stared at the chaos. Then the Gyroid made a noise.

"WHIIIIIIIIIIIR!"

"What's that little buddy?" asked Fox.

"WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!"

"You caught something? Let me see!" said Fox.

"Probably just another boo... HOLY CRAP!" yelled Pikachu. Fox pulled up the Gyroid's catch, showing the coelacanth attached to it.

"Amazing." was all Meta Knight could say. Vaati finally came out of the water and saw their victory.

"NOOOOO!" screamed Vaati, who decided to just drown himself this time.

"OH COME ON!" yelled Not Sheldon from his boat, who was trying to prevent the shark from biting his head off.

"Hmm, it seems like the universe has acknowledged are accomplishment." said Meta Knight, looking into the sky. It had stopped raining and the dark clouds began to clear up. Behind the clouds was a bright sun, smiling down upon them. He turned to the other two. "Let's go."

* * *

They paddled back toward the beach, coelacanth safely caught, and Gyroid being hailed as a hero. Peach, who had been waiting on the beach for them, perked up and saw them.

"Guys! Did you get it?" shouted Peach. Fox held up the coelacanth for her to see. Overjoyed, she began to dance around in a happy manner. The boat came to a stop next to the shore and our heroes exited from it.

"Things were crazy, but we got it!" said Fox.

"Great! Let's get it back to the museum then!" said Peach. Pikachu suddenly coughed.

"Hold on... there's something I need to show you..." said Pikachu. It wasn't in his ordinary voice however. It was something... different. Nevertheless, they trusted Pikachu and followed him. Pikachu brought them in front of one of the many trees in the village. "You see this tree?"

"...Er... Is this a trick question?" asked Fox.

"No. It is an tree. But what's in it..." said Pikachu. He then hit the tree and a hive came out. Pikachu quickly dived behind the tree, so the only people the bees could see was Meta Knight, Fox, and Peach. The bees swarmed down upon the three, stinging them. Pikachu came around, grabbing the coelacanth.

"Pikachu! What is this treachery?" yelled Meta Knight, while trying his best not to get stung. Pikachu had a smug grin on his face.

"I'm not Pikachu." said Not Pikachu. Meta Knight realized the truth. Pikachu wasn't his self. He didn't speak in his own voice. Instead, Pikachu was being controlled by Mewtwo, and the voice that came out of his mouth was Mewtwo's as well. But it was too late. Mewtwo, within Pikachu's body, laughed before heading to the museum.

* * *

"Many years ago, the theory was that the coelacanth had gone extinct...But as it turns out, it still exists and has been living deep in the ocean this whole time, wot? Imagine! This fish has known the world since the dinosaurs... Perhaps it's the true master of the sea! Isn't that interesting, hoo?" said Blathers, who had been handed the coelacanth. He did not know that Mewtwo is in control of Pikachu. He would have gotten the fish from Pikachu himself, but he needed to rescue Vaati, so he still needed Pikachu to go through this process.

"Yes, how interesting. Now where is the secret?" asked Mewtwo-Pikachu.

"Hoo! Follow me." said Blathers. He lead Pikachu over to the back of the room, where a clock had set. He looked around suspiciously before pushing aside the clock, revealing a secret staircase. "Down these stairs you shall find the answers. Hoo."

"Thank you." said Mewtwo-Pikachu, grinning evily. He walked down the staircase, when he began hearing noises. At the bottom of the staircase was a room with a pedestal in the middle. He stepped onto the pedestal, since the noise seemed to be radiating from there, and focused...

* * *

"Looks like I succeeded." said Mewtwo. He looked around. It was the huge white room that had been described by Porky and Ashley.

"And so did I." said something right next to him. Mewtwo turned and took a step back: Pikachu was in the room with him.

"How-?"

"You used my body, remember? You brought me here, so thanks for that." said Pikachu, who was smiling.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S TOM AND JERRY!" shouted a voice. Crazy Hand emerged from the light once more. He looked at both the electric rat and the psychic cat. "Can I have your autographs?"

"We're not Tom and Jerry." stated Not Tom. He looked over to Not Jerry. "And this guy shouldn't even be with me! Get rid of him!"

"Oh why would you say that? YOU'RE BOTH AS BESTEST FRIENDS AS PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!" yelled Crazy Hand.

"What kind of Tom and Jerry have you been watching?" asked Pikachu.

"It doesn't matter. What's important is the secret I'm going to trust upon you!" said Crazy Hand. He pointed at both of them.

"But he's here by accident!" whined Mewtwo.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" yelled Crazy Hand, unleashing the knowledge upon the two.

* * *

Pikachu regained consiousness. But not as Mewtwo, but as himself. Happy to be in control of his own body again, he walked up the stairs, when Blathers pushed the clock back over the entrance.

"Hey, what about my friends?" asked Pikachu.

"Why would your friends need the secrets? You already have it and they trust you. Hoo." said Blathers. This made Pikachu feel horribly guilty. He walked out of the museum... and fell into the ground. He was suddenly surrounded by his friends.

"Mewtwo! I demand you get out of our friend!" yelled Meta Knight.

"It is me guys!" said Pikachu. Upon hearing his real voice, everyone sighed a breath of relief and pulled him out of the pitfall tap.

"What about the secret?" asked Peach.

"I have it... but so does Mewtwo." said Pikachu.

"Well, sharing is caring, right Gyroid?" said Fox. Pikachu, who finally had enough of the thing, picked up Gyroid and threw him into a nearby pond. Fox got on his knees and cried out: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"...Well, I guess this is a bitter sweet ending for us. That leaves just one question." said Meta Knight.

"What?" asked Peach.

"How are we getting off this planet?" No one had the answer to that question.

* * *

"Hello? ...Anyone other than sharks? ...I'm scared." said Vaati. He sat lonely on top of his boat. The squirrels managed to escape with their lives, but the shark they threw into the water was still out for blood. His blood.

"I'm here." said Mewtwo, floating right next to him. Vaati lunged for him, hugging the cat.

"I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE!" he cried. Mewtwo threw him off, un-amused.

"Look, I finally got the secret. Let's see if we could repair your stupid 'cloud' ship and get out of here." said Mewtwo.

"Oh no you're not!" said a voice coming from the water. Vaati screamed.

"OH NO THE SHARK CAN TALK!"

"No no, it's me." said the voice. The shark fin rose up, revealing that it didn't belong to a shark. It was actually a fake fin that's been glued to Tom Nook's head.

"...How... but... you were... shark." the confused mage said.

"I won't answer that. Some things are better off not said. Now, about your jobs..." said Nook.

* * *

Peach brought the trio to the only place she could think of: Tom Nook's store.

"Nook has lots of weird stuff on sale! Maybe we could order something to get you out of here!" said Peach. She brought them inside. The shop was small and somewhat plain, but it felt cozy at the same time. The place was currently being restocked. Who was restocking the shop? Vaati and Mewtwo of course. They turned around and noticed them.

"YOU!" yelled Vaati. He ran over to them, aware that he couldn't hurt them but he still wanted to try. Tom Nook ran in between them.

"No! What have I said about trying to hurt the customers?" said Nook.

"...Only do it if they don't buy anything." muttered Vaati.

"Good! Now get back to restocking! So, Peach! How can I help you and your friends today?" said Nook.

"Well, my friends want to leave this planet but they need a spaceship? Do you have one?" asked Peach.

"Ha ha! That's silly, thinking that I have spaceships... of course I do! And it's only 2780 bells!" he said that while pointing at a space shuttle. Mewtwo heard this and scowled.

"Two small houses cost 100,000 bells, yet an entire space shuttle costs only that much!" yelled Mewtwo.

"Hey! I don't pay you to backtalk! ...So, do we have a deal?" asked Tom Nook. Peach handed him a bag of Bells, which he pocketed. Pikachu cheered.

"Finally! Let's get out of this place!" said Pikachu. Normally, Fox would be doing the cheering, but he was still mourning the loss of Gyroid.

"W-Why did you throw him into the pond... He helped us catch the fish! YOU ARE SICK AND WRONG!" cried Fox. Meta Knight patted him on the back.

"Maybe you could find another one in the next universe to do to." said Meta Knight, trying to comfort him.

* * *

Right next to Peach's house, the space shuttle was all set up. Peach gave them crates of apples and fish they caught so they could have something to eat on the road. Everyone but Peach walked in, ready to go. Meta Knight faced her.

"Princess, are you sure you're not coming?" he asked.

"No. I like this place and I'm going to protect it from evil. Also, I got addicted to bug catching, fish cattching, furniture buying, furniture rearranging..." said Peach. She quickly caught herself. "I mean protecting this planet from evil."

"Okay. It's your choice." said Meta Knight. He retreated into the space shuttle and in mere moments, it blasted off. Peach looked up into the sky as it turned to a shade of orange, hoping that they will be safe.

* * *

"...and that's all the reasons why space is so amazing." finished Andrew.

"Wow! I never met someone so knowledgeable and talkative like you, slacker!" said Peanut. She turned and saw the other squirrels coming from the beach. "Oh! It looks like your friends are back from their fishing trip, slacker!" Andrew scurried up to them.

"Are we going back to space?" asked Andrew.

"...Actually, this place is pretty nice." said Not Sheldon, taking in the surroundings.

"Yeah, the trees are beautiful and are filled with delicious fruit. We may set up a new home here." noted Jefferson.

"This place is al'ight." said Joey.

"New citizens!" yelled a voice.

"Oh no! It's Tom Nook, slacker!" screamed Peanut, who began running off. Tom Nook came by, confronting the squirrels.

"I heard that all of you wanted to stay here! Well, I got several houses prepared, but I require all of you to pay for all of the homes. All together that would be..." ranted Tom Nook.

"ARGH! IT'S NOT WORTH IT! RUN!" commanded Not Sheldon. He led all of the squirrels to their ship, which was stuck in a tree and had went unnoticed for some reason. They got in, blasting off into the sky. Tom Nook glared at them from the ground.

"No one can evade me, or my name isn't Tom Nook!"

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Well, the fourth wall is fixed and that's another chapter completed. Personally, I thought this chapter wasn't as well made as the others. Maybe because there was nothing to base it upon. Oh well. By the way, all of the details such as the cost of the space shuttle and the description Blathers had for the coelacanth actually came from the game. See, I did my research. So, you may ask me, how come they only spend like two chapters at a universe at a time? Well, that's because the universes that have been used in all of the current chapters are either so unknown to me that I just wanted to get things done, or they will show up in later chapters. Later universes that will be implemented in this story will be around for more chapters. Well, enough about information. No one wants to read about it. Instead, let's get right to the questions. Everyone loves them, right?_

_Is Gyroid dead? Where will our heroes go next? Will Vaati and Mewtwo pay off their houses? Can anyone truely evade Tom Nook? How come I'm not asking as many questions as usual? Find out in the next chapter!_


	10. And Now For Someone Different

_It has been brought to my attention that the pacing in my stories have been a little fast. So I'm going to slow it down a bit. No then, back with our heroe-_

**_No._**

_Oh come on! You broke out of the fourth wall again?_

**_Silly human. You cannot contain me. But don't worry. I have my sights set on the Nintendo dimension instead of yours. I also only made a small crack in your precious 'fourth wall', so be thankful._**

_Um, thanks?_

**_Now then, today, I want you to shift the perspective on someone else. Not your heroes. Nor my minions. Write on someone else for a change._**

_What? You're not the boss of me!_

**_Do you want me to completely destroy the fourth wall?_**

_Oh please no! I'm doing it, I'm doing it..._

* * *

_Chapter 9: And Now For Someone Different _  
_Alternate Name: Giygas is Blackmailing Me  
Alternate Name 2: Rebellions and Idiots _

* * *

I would very much focus on our heroes, but I'm currently under the threat of the fourth wall breaking forever. So, we shall seek out someone different. Besides, they're probably flying through space, sleeping and stuff. They deserve it. Hmm... Link fleeing for his life in Icicle Glacier? No, don't feel like it. A scene with Marth and Ike? Ew, no. That's grounds for yaoi. Oh! Hello, what's this?

Several ChuChus sit together, gathered for a supposed lecture. They're not sure what the lecture was quite for. They were invited by an odd trio that washed up along the shore of their deserted island. They faced each other, discussing important topics.

"Have you seen the new Homestuck update, slurp?" asked a ChuChu. For story reasons, we shall name his Slimesy.

"Nope, but I heard it's pretty good, slurp." said his friend, who shall be named Goober. Why am I giving them names? For no reason. It's not as if they'll show up later on or anything.

"Attention please." said a woman. She came up to the ChuChus, wearing odd armor. Following her was a guy that seemed to be immitating a Rito and.. . er... is that one of Tingle's brothers? She gave a formal introduction, "I am Samus Aran."

"Um... Pit." said the Not Rito.

"I am Solid Snake, a tactical stealth master and certified encyclopedia salesman." said the Not Tingle Brother. He squinted his eyes, "No one buys my encyclopedias, so I have to sneak up on them."

"Any questions before this lecture begins?" asked Samus. Some of the ChuChus rose up, signifying that they wanted to ask a question, "And no, this is not a trap to mass slaughter you for jelly." All of them goes down. "Good, now then, Pit, bring out the drawing."

"Okay." he said. He brought out a large canvas. On it was a picture of Pit kissing Samus. Some of the ChuChus snickered before Samus noticed. She blasted the canvas apart with her arm cannon. The ChuChus gasped.

"She's a witch, sluuuurp!" cried out Slimesy. Everyone started muttering, wondering if the 'witch' would use their material in a potion. She shook her head.

"No, no, I'm not a witch. Bring out the real picture, or this time I'll actually aim for you." threatened Samus. Pit gulped and took out another canvas. On this one was ominous red clouds with many of them swirling to the center of the picture, which had a horrific face. The ChuChus looked at the picture, perplexed.

"This is our enemy, Giygas. He is a ruthless villain that wants to take over everything." she pointed at the picture and then glanced at the crowd, "You may all think, 'Oh! A new villain! What an exciting employment opprotunity'! Well it's not! Other than a band of lackies and their subordinates, he doesn't need minions. In fact, when we were escaping, he simply willed some monsters into existence. When he comes to this universe, don't expect to join up with him. Expect to be slaughtered for health pickups for the minions he already has." Goober rose up. Samus acknowledged him. "Yes, question?"

"What do you mean 'this universe'?" he asked. Many of the ChuChus nodded, equally as confused as him.

"There are many universes in this dimension. In fact, me and my friends here come from different universes. I come from a universe where I hunt monsters." before anyone could gasp, she added, "Not like you."

"Yeah! I come from a universe where the underworld keeps trying to take over the world! It's pretty annoying." said Pit.

"Other than the constant fourth wall and weirdness, mine's pretty normal." said Snake.

"There are many universes out there, not just yours. And this monster wants to rule it all! We witnessed stuff he did to our friends! The slightest annoyance will cause your death. Do you want him to conquer _your_ universe?" yelled Samus. All of the ChuChus yelled, "NO!" Apparently, they're pretty patriotic. "I'm not sure about the rest of my friends, but we're not going to take this lying down! We're planning to fight against the threat known as Giygas, but we'll need your help!"

"Why don't you use your wit-" began Slimesy.

"I'M NOT A WITCH! This is quality technology! ...Forget it, the point is, I want you all to unite with us. Try to get the word out to many of your bretheren and other creatures! If this guy comes here, we're going to fight back!" yelled the not witch.

"YEEEEAH!" shouted the ChuChus. Some didn't cheer however. Several arm-cannon blasts in the air helped convince the non-believers of different universes. Samus rose her fist in the air.

"What will we do?"

"STOP GIYGAS!" yelled many of the ChuChus, many of them making victorious slurps. Snake, who had been chilling around the whole time, congratulated Samus.

"Nice speech."

"Thanks."

"..."

"Can I go out with you?"

"NO!"

And so began something new. A union between good and evil to fight a common cause: Giygas. The bounty hunter, the angel, and the professional continued to talk about different universes, as well as the extents of Giygas' powers. The worried ChuChus became the first members of the GAG (Galaxies Against Giygas). No one didn't like the name, since it was likely to turn people off, but it was the only thing they could think of. On that deserted island, a sprawling underground cave base wwas built. ..Okay, Snake just discovered an entrance to a cave while blowing up rocks for fun, but nevertheless, it became a base. The ChuChus began bringing other creatures to the island. They remained skeptical until they showed off technology that didn't belong in their universe. Soon, a grand resistance would be formed, and it will not just be based in the Wind Waker universe, but many others as well, as the threat of Giygas becomes more and more apparent.

One day, Slimesy and Goober went onto the surface of the island. The surface of the island was required to not show any signs of civilization, so Giygas would not notice it. As a result, the island seemed empty. To an outsider anyway.

"I wonder if our universe will ever have that arm cannon thing Samus has, slurp." said the curious Goober.

"Meh, I still believe it's witchcraft." muttered Slimesy. They looked up into the sky, seeing the clouds move freely in the air, as well as that thing falling toward them. Wait, what?

"AHHHHHHHH!" shouted the thing. The two ChuChus realized that it was not bird poop falling toward them, but a person. They yelled, diving away as the person fell onto the ground. They walked up to the person, examining him. He was Hylian, but he looked different. His tunic was vastly different than the version that parents haned their kids when they become of age. They looked into his pack. He seemed to carry stuff that was present in their universe, but it was slightly more advanced. It was as if this man was from the future, or...

"An alternate universe." finished Goober. Slimesy gave him a look. "Hey, it looks like this guy's from an alternate universe, slurp."

"Hey." said a voice. They turned, seeing one of their leaders, Pit, emerging from the hideout. "You guys can't leave unless you're recruiting or searching for the secret, remember?" said Pit. He noticed the unconsious man and widened his eyes. "Link!" Goober made a confused look.

"Link? Like the Hero of Winds?"

"No, no. This Link is from an alternate universe and is one of our friends!" he shouted. Goober gave an, "I told you so", look to Slimesy. Pit ran over to Link, checking his pulse. He was relieved to find that he was still alive. "Help me lift him."

* * *

"Urgh..." groaned Link. He wakes up and spazzed out a little; there were monsters surrounding his bed. He looks around for his sword, but didn't find it. So all he could was make a pathetic threat. "Back you fiends! I have hands to.. um... punch you with!"

"Relax kid." said a familiar voice. Link looked up to see Snake, who was leaning against a wall and having a smoke.

"Oh god! Help, there's monsters swarming this place!" he cried. Snake took out his cigarette in order to explain things more clearly.

"These guys? Don't worry, their allies. Did you get that paper Meta Knight sent everyone?" he asked. Link nodded. "Well, after reading that, Samus, Pit, and I decided to form a group to fight this guy. We got a lot of monsters as recruits, so don't be surprised to find a giant hog beast in the bathroom."

"But... Wait! Where am I?" asked Link.

"The Great Sea, slurp!" said a ChuChu, who was among some of the creatures examining Link. It's not everyday that a man from an alternate universe falls out of the sky. Link brightened up.

"This is Toon Link's place, right? Man, it's so colorful and peaceful. I wonder how Hyrule is..." he said. Everyone suddenly got awkward looks. A Moblin leaned over to Snake.

"Should we tell him about Hyrule?"

"As a friend of mines would say, "Some things are better left unsaid."" stated Snake. His codec beeped.

"I never said that Snake." said a voice.

"It's probably something you would say anyway Mei." shouted back Snake. Link groaned, getting off of his bed, ignoring the stares of the various people surrounding him. He seemed to be in a clinic of some sort. He looked around, seeing that he was in a vast cave, which was full of unfamiliar people. He then recognized a familiar woman in a power suit and chased her down.

"Samus!" he yelled. Samus turned around. Through the visor on her helmet, Link saw that she was shocked.

"Link! We didn't expect you to recover this fast!" said Samus.

"She used her witchy-powers!" shouted Slimesy from far away. Samus ignored this.

"Link, how did you get here?"

"Well... I was running from Giygas..." murmurred Link, who was suddenly acting nervous.

"Oh good. We need someone other then me and those idiots Snake and Pit to tell about Giygas. Another eye-witness account will surely open eyes." she said. She turned away from him when Link grabbed her shoulder.

"Samus, is there somewhere I could be alone?" asked Link.

"Take the stairs above-ground." she said. Link thanked her, searching for the stairs. He ascended upwards, and saw a vast sea and a beautiful night sky. A wonderful place. Link walked away from the entrance to the base. As soon as he was far enough away... he laughed. Hs laugh wasn't in an amused tone, but a full out crazy one.

He made an evil grin, one that no one would see. What naive idiots, he thought. They simply greeted him, not asking if there was anything wrong with him. Fools. He thought about the Summit, where Giygas had been chasing him, or at the very least, an extension of him. He had run for his life, trying to evade the abomination. However, Giygas eventually caught up to him and devoured him.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling. Pain was surging throughout his entire body, causing him to scream. But no one could hear him. Everytime he screamed he inhaled some of Giygas' gas, corrupting him on the inside. At first, he resisted it. But eventually, he welcomed the corruption, as the more corrupted he felt, the less pain that was dealt to him. His thoughts began turning more twisted, dark, and psychotic, pushing away thoughts of hope and survival. Link no longer cared about the good things in life such as friendship, but instead began caring about evil things like Giygas. Finally, the pain went away, as did the red dark realm he was trapped in.

Instead, he was directly inside the grand hall of Smash Castle, which had been turned to a throne room for Giygas. Due to the now twisted state of his mind, Link kneeled to Giygas, saying that it's an honor to meet him. This was exactly what Giygas had been counting on: brainwashing the great Hero of Time to his side. Wait, it wasn't brainwashing. More like making him have a relevation. Giygas welcomed him to his side, telling Link that the Smashers were the enemy and had to be destroyed. Link did not object to this of course. Brought to a plot hole, the fallen hero was told to survey the Wind Waker universe, to search for the secret as well as report Smasher activity.

Glad that he no longer has to pretend to be the hero he once was, he took out an amulet, which had been gifted to him. He spoke directly to it, in an insane like manner, "Ha... Sir, there's a resistance brewing up over here... Those idiots are still looking for the secret here..."

The amulet shook, conveying Giygas' voice. "A resistance huh? Well, having people directly defying me will make conquering of that universe harder, but I presume you could take care of the problem."

Link grinned. "Of course I will." He put away his amulet, prepared to do his first act of evil. But there's only one problem: where the hell was his sword?

* * *

Giygas chuckled, thinking of what horrible thing Link will commit to the resistance. Kill it's leaders? Burn their headquarters down? The possibillities are endless. Hmm? Ah right. The boy finally had enough. Briefly turning into his abominational form, he threw Porky Minch out of his realm. Unlike poor Link, Porky is already a villain, and wasn't very affected by the punishment other than mass trauma.

"Had fun?" said Giygas sarcastically.

"Oh sure. I went to have a girly tea party with all of the demons inside you, and we wore stupid hats and crap!" shot back Porky. He left the throne room, muttering to himself. Giygas looked at a screen, which showed his prisoners (Falco and Jigglypuff; not ROB though, since he's a robot and robots are stupid) sleeping, with troubled looks on their faces. He briefly considered brainwashing one of them to act for his side, but the other Smashers would be suspicious, considering the last time they saw their now imprisoned friends was them turning into trophies and Giygas' darkness directly consuming them. He decided to have a little fun with them. He floated up to the screen and pressed a button.

Inside the cell, a trumpet sounded off loudly. Falco and Jigglypuff woke up, freaked out. Upon realizing that this was the trumpet prank that Giygas had used on them 12 times already, they got pissed off.

"The hell's your problem!" yelled Falco, who shook his tiny fist on the screen.

"I may still be a prisoner, but I deserve beauty sleep!" shouted Jigglypuff. Her and Falco bitterly laid back down and went back to sleep. ROB looked over his friends, trying to process what they're doing.

"MOTION - SLEEPING. DOES NOT COMPUTE. MY SYSTEMS WILL NOW EMIT A LOUD NOISE IN ORDER TO GET SOMEONE TO NOTICE AND FIX THIS PROBLEM." said ROB. A slot slid off of his body, revealing a speaker. The speaker began emitting an alarm noise, causing Falco and Jigglypuff to cover their ears, clearly disturbed. Giygas smiled. This never got old.

...And now he was bored again. There was not much going on other than plotting and scheming, and most of his minions are probably asleep, and Porky was probably going back to his universe to torture Ness and his friends with a terrible movie marathon. Hmm... Oh right, King Boo is a ghost. He doesn't sleep. He summoned King Boo, who had been in the process of watching a soap opera.

"Fight for your man Goombella! ...Oh hey boss." said King Boo. He threw away the tissues he had been using to wipe his tears and tried to make a scary face. It was an overwhelming failure.

"King Boo, just a thought but, HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING THIS WEEK?" yelled Giygas. King Boo flinched.

"Well.. I... was stalking Link."

"...I was doing that and I brainwashed him hours ago."

"...Pokemon Trainer?"

"I don't believe you." said Giygas, taking out a clipboard to see what King Boo had accomplished. Other than being a fat useless sack of crap, his section of the evaluation was empty. "I need you to go out and actually do something for my side. Go look for the secret in your world, or the next time you come back without doing anything I shall devour your soul. Forever."

"But Princess Daisy said that if she ever saw me in the Mushroom World again, she'll blast me to pieces!" cried King Boo.

"I don't care." said Giygas. He then realized what the ghost king had said. "Wait, Daisy?"

"I tried to take over the world while Mario was off at the Brawl tournament but things went horribly wrong." explained King Boo. Giygas threw the clipboard at him.

"I'm honestly not sure why I recruited you in the first place. Oh that's right, I thought you were a ruthless successful ghost king. BUT YOU'RE NOT! You're just a pathetic floating soul, which will be devoured unless YOU GET GOING!" yelled Giygas. King Boo yelped, flying off. He then floated back in.

"Uh, which way are the plot holes?" he asked.

"...I'm not going to tell you. Figure it out yourslef." growled Giygas. King Boo, deciding that asking stupid questions would probably lead to his demise, left the throne room. Giygas sighed, bored once again. He then got another brilliant idea. He spewed out a boy out of his void. This boy had done the worst thing that anyone, including him, would ever do: insult Nintendo. He looked down at the squirming kid. "Now do you think Nintendo is impressive?"

"No! Never! Microsoft's and Sony's technology is much better!" Jeff shouted. Those words formed another horrible taboo that everyone heard. Giygas twitched a bit, horrified that this stupid child still dares to insult Nintendo after days of torture. Fox briefly woke up, only to go back to sleep muttering something about killing Jeff. The entire GAG organization freaked out until Samus calmed all of them down with her witchcraf... I mean technology. Jigglypuff and Falco stirred in their sleep, hoping very much to god that this was just Giygas trying to psyche them out. Iwata, who was reconsidering the future of the MOTHER series, heard this as well and decided that MOTHER should never be brought to the states. Ever. Everyone had a strong urge to hunt down the being known as Jeff, whoever he was.

"...Guess who's going to spend another day inside the darkness?" said Giygas, a portal opened up, ready to suck Jeff in. However, Jeff began crying.

"I don't want to go in there! I-It hurts and the demons inside want to beat me up!" cried Jeff. "I'll do anything! Just don't send me back there!" Giygas was ready to suck him back in... but then realized that this kid could be another potential recruit.

"Really?" said the demon, "Then I suppose you won't mind killing your friends?"

"Yes! That jerk Ness let me get beaten up by almost everyobody in the forest, Paula thought my Jeffmobile was stupid, and Poo never liked me in the first place!" cried out Jeff. Giygas smirked. This boy would have no qualms about killing his only friends. He had to admit that the Jeffmobile was stupid though.

"Excellent. That was just a test to see if you have any morals, and clearly you don't." said Giygas. He rose from his throne and went over to Jeff, extending a hand. "Are you willing to work for me?"

The boy briefly considered his options. On one hand, Giygas is a horrible evil and doesn't deserve any help whatsoever.

...On the other hand, Giygas might protect him from the hordes of people out for his blood.

He grabbed Giygas' hand, letting the demon pull him up. They shook their hands. The deal had been accepted. Giygas went back to his throne.

"Welcome to the dark side. If you stay here, I'll protect you from all of the people trying to kill you. Oh yeah, and one more thing..." said Giygas.

"What?" asked Jeff. He was suddenly tackled by Pichu and Dr. Mario, who began beating him up.

"Take this you punk!" yelled Pichu. No one could take him seriously, considering that Pichu had a child's voice. However, that made anyone who heard the fight believe that a toddler was beating up Jeff, which made the situation more sadder than it already is.

"Your prescription calls for extra death! Take a beating three times a day!" yelled Dr. Mario.

Giygas just watched the one-sided battle from his throne, sighing. He really missed Mewtwo and Ashley, who were arguably the sanest and least idiotic of all of his minions. He picked up his clipboard from the floor and began writing positive notes on them, while ignoring his new recruit's screaming.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME!" he screamed as Pichu shocked him.

"I never said I would protect you from my other cohorts." uttered Giygas. He looked over his evaluation:

**_Vaati_**  
_-Weird and very flamboyant. His power over wind is impressive._  
_-Went to the Animal Crossing universe with Mewtwo. Called in saying they got the secret, but they're currently being forced to work for a raccoon. May possibly recruit raccoon._  
_-Grade: B-_

**_Ashley_**  
_-Cruel but is young. Isn't quite strong enough._  
_-Placed Giygas bomb in F-Zero universe. Results were disappointing._  
_-Currently grooming Lucas to become another potential recruit._  
_-Grade: C+_

**_Ridley_**  
_-Quite spacey, but is dangerous when he's focused._  
_-Failed to capture three Smashers._  
_-Grade: C-_

**_King Boo_**  
_-The greatest disappointment ever._  
_-Has done nothing.  
-A fat useless sack of crap._  
_-His delivery of cupcakes is the only thing preventing me from killing him. Finding someone to willingly cook and bring food to the meetings is hard._  
_-Grade: D_

**_Mewtwo_**  
_-Leader of the Melee cast._  
_-One of the most sanest people here._  
_-Has found a secret._  
_-Grade: A_

**_Link_**  
_-Turned over to our side; completely crazy at the moment._  
_-Found resistance brewing in Wind Waker universe hours after deployment._  
_-Grade: Too early to be certain._

**_Jeff_**  
_-Everyone hates him._  
_-Grade: A+_

He frowned at the evaluation. Only Vaati, Mewtwo, Link, and Jeff (although the urge to kill him is high) has left a nice impression on him. He could only hope for the others to work harder. Especially King Boo. He put away the clipboard and saw a bloodied Jeff cowering on the floor. Pichu and Dr. Mario wiped their hands of his blood and went off to do their own thing.

"...Breathing... not working..." he moaned.

"Dr. Mario, I know you hate that boy but can you fix him?" asked Giygas.

"...Can I combine his limbs with machines?" asked Dr. Mario.

"An arm cannon thing would be nice." said Jeff.

"Shut up!" yelled Pichu, who kicked him in the head. Ouch.

"Fine." said Giygas. Dr. Mario jumped up with glee and told Pichu to help carry Jeff's body to his office. Making sure no one could see him, Giygas quickly wrote in something about Dr. Mario:

_Dr. Mario_  
_-Mad scientist. Watch out for him._

_To be continued..._

* * *

_There, are you happy?_

**_I'm pleased._**

_Now thanks to you, the readers know Link is evil more earlier than planned! And I was going to make GAG secret and stuff, but now everyone knows who they are! Ugh, it feels weird to write something other than my usual mindless dribble. Now, get out._

**_Very well._**

_Ugh, my poor fourth wall. Now then, I am aware that this chapter might not be up to my usual standards, but hey, it's a chapter. Now then... oh hey, Giygas left me a list of questions. Ahem... Will the great Giygas take over the universe? Will King Boo stop being a disappointment to everyone? Will Jeff be a great recruit? Will those foolish heroes die horribly? Find out next time when I win! ...What the hell. Ugh, this is stupid. Well, see you later._


	11. So Much Crap Happening

_...Man, there's so much going on, that I'm not going to bother naming this chapter._

* * *

_Chapter 10: So Much Crap Happening_

* * *

The center of the dimension is a special place. It is a place filled with great energy and and power. The energy forms pathways throughout the entire dimension, allowing the beings there to travel everywhere freely. Who are the beings there? The Subspace Emissary.

The Subspace Emissary are a group of odd creatures that's formed by the energies in the center of the dimension. The leader of the Subspace Emissary is Master Hand. Ruling with him was his stronger yet more insane brother Crazy Hand. One day, they were bored so they watched beings from different universes. They were astonished, seeing mighty heroes roam countrysides and planets and powerful villains rule over vast armies. They then thought, what if they got together and fought? So Master Hand and Crazy Hand used their power to create a castle, where they gathered the greatest heroes and villains to fight against each other. And thus, all was good.

But one day, a member of the Subspace Emissary, Tabuu, decided to rise up against Master Hand and Crazy Hand. He believed that the Subspace Emissary had the power to conquer the entire dimension, but was frustrated that they just use their power to watch people beat the crap out of each other. Leading vast amounts of people, they enslaved Master Hand and scared off Crazy Hand, ready to take over everything. They didn't count on the Smashers, the name of the fighters Master Hand had chosen, to fight against Tabuu's rebellion. Eventually, they succeeded, along with brand new members that they recruited during their adventure. But it was at a cost. All of the ROBs had been destroyed, leaving the Smasher ROB as the only one left. Master Hand's energy had been drained by Tabuu, leaving him in a near-dead state. Crazy Hand appointed the Ancient Minister (aka, Smasher ROB) to run the Brawl tournament, since robots are awesome. While the tournament continued on, Crazy Hand brought Master Hand back to the center of the dimension, where he would soon recover...

"HEY BROOOO! Guess what guess what guess what-" yelled Crazy Hand, bursting in on Master Hand. The situation was rather silly: a giant hand was bursting through hospital doors to see a giant hand inside bed who was being cared for by a bunch of weird creatures. A Primid wearing a doctor's coat cleared his voice.

"Mr. Crazy, what have I said about running in, screaming?" asked the doctor, who we shall call Doc Prime just 'cause.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION!" yelled Crazy Hand.

"You're still screaming." pointed out Doc Prime.

"NO I AM NOT YOU ARE THE WORST LIAR EVER!" yelled Crazy Hand hypocritically. Master Hand coughed and everyone turned to him.

"Let's not waste time with nonsense... cough... why are you here Crazy?" asked Master Hand.

"Oh yeah! Recently, I've been handing out secrets to people!" said Crazy Hand. Doc Prime freaked out.

"People? Searching for our secrets? Oh god oh god alert the army!" screamed Doc Prime. Master Hand narrowed his eyes... wait no. Um... what do hands look like when they give a matter-of-fact look?

"We don't have an army anymore." said Master Hand. Indeed, most of the Subspace army had been butchered by the Smashers in their war against Tabuu. He turned to Crazy. "It must be the Smashers. They would have found out eventually... Considering how competitive and curious they are, they may be searching for the secrets as we speak."

"Oooh! Should we give them a prize?" asked Crazy.

"We could grant them unlimited power." suggested Doc Prime.

"Too big. We don't want someone going mad with power and taking over everything. Perhaps we could open wormholes for the Smashers as an award. The Smashers have gotten used to each other and giving them the ability to see each other would be a nice gift. It's much more reliable than plot holes." said Master. "Brother, start a list of things we could give to the Smashers."

"I know! We could throw them a party, give them time-traveling dinosaurs... Oh yeah, and a giant interstellar demon is searching for the secrets too, but I'm probably wrong. Bye!" said Crazy Hand. He left the hospital, listing more absurd gifts in his head. Master Hand and Doc Prime just stared at the door.

"...Did he just say that an interstellar demon is searching for the secrets?" asked the giant hand.

"I think so." said the doctor. And just like that, the worrisome doctor fainted. Master Hand flexed his fingers nervously. If this demon is real, he may be trying to take over the entire dimension. It'll be the Subspace invasion all over again. Then again, there are heroes in every world, ready to stop evil at all costs. He trusts the Smashers to stop the demon.

...Hopefully Crazy was just being, well, crazy as usual.

* * *

Meta Knight woke up, rubbing his eyes. He groggily looked around the space shuttle, searching for what he needed: coffee and breakfast. He stumbled over to a small kitchen/dining room area, seeing that a cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie had been prepared for him; how kind of the others. He sat down, sipping the coffee and prepared to take the first bite of his pie... when he realized something was wrong: his mask wasn't on. He looked around wildly when he heard Pikachu laughing.

"Looking for this?" snickered Pikachu, holding Meta Knight's mask. Right next to him, Fox, who was piloting the ship, laughed as well.

"You look so adorable without your mask Meta!" laughed Fox. Meta Knight scowled, grabbing his sword...

One small battle later, Meta Knight had his mask on and was eating again, while Fox and Pikachu suffered from cuts and scratches on their bodies.

"Nice apple pie Pikachu." said Meta Knight, acted as if he had not attacked his cohorts.

"Uhh.. You're welcome.." said Pikachu, who was still in a daze. "Where are we going Fox?"

"I don't know. Just letting destiny happen." said Fox.

"...Are you even piloting the ship?"

"Nope. I'm just leaving my foot on the throttle."

"Give me the wheel Fox." said Meta Knight. He pushed aside Fox and began to actually make the shuttle move in a different direction rather than straight ahead.

"But what about destiny?" asked Fox.

"You can't rely on destiny all the time Fox."

"But... you said... You... YOU'RE A LIAR!"

"Fox-"

"LIAR LIAR PLANTS FOR HIRE!" yelled Fox. Pikachu sighed as Fox continued to accuse Meta Knight of being a liar. He looked out of the shuttle's windows. Clearly they were in the Sparrow Asteroid Belt in the Animal Crossing universe. Pikachu widened his eyes. How did he know that? Was it from the knowledge Crazy Hand gave him? He closed his eyes...

_An asteroid that's cut in half... down one of the craters... a portal..._

Pikachu opened his eyes and looked out the window again. This time, he saw a notable asteroid: an asteroid that had been cut in half. He ran over to Meta Knight, pointing out the asteroid to him.

"Quick! Fly over there!" shouted Pikachu.

"Pikachu, I know that meteor is peculiar looking, but I see no reason to go there." said Meta Knight.

"Seriously! Go over there!" shouted Pikachu.

"Look Pikachu, I know you're surrounded by a bunch of flying and space experts, but that doesn't mean you have to be one too..." said Fox.

"LISTEN TO ME ALRIGHT!" yelled Pikachu.

"Very well..." said Meta Knight. He turned the shuttle toward the asteroid. Other than it being in half, there seemed to be nothing else noteworthy. Pikachu recognized one of the craters as the one in his vision and pointed at it as well. Meta Knight rolled his eyes and piloted the shuttle inside. For a short time, this seemed like a pointless waste of time, until they found a huge glowing hole. "What the?" He turned to Pikachu, "How did you know about this?"

"I guess it was from the secret Crazy Hand taught me." shrugged the small Pokemon.

"Oh my god! Learning can help you! Who knew?" said Fox.

"Yeah... Okay! Bring the shuttle through!" shouted Pikachu.

"Okay." Meta Knight brought the ship into the portal. "By the way, where does this lead?"

"I have no effing idea." said Pikachu. Before anyone could yell at him, the ship went through the portal, bringing them to who know's where.

* * *

At Mario's house, the heroes, the children, and the villain sat down together, watching tv.

Well, they would if they could decide what to watch.

"I want to-a see Tayce. T's Cooking Show-a!" yelled Luigi, diving for the remote. Popo tackled the green plumber as Nana pried the remote out of his hands.

"Ha! We're watching Magikoopas of Waverly Place!" said the pink ice climber. Before she could change the channel, Mario yoinked it out of her hands.

"CSI: Mushroom Kingdom is-a on!" shouted Mario. He was then strong-punched by Ganondorf into the next room and the villain grabbed the remote, which had been spinning in the air due to it's holder getting punched to elsewhere. Somehow. It's cartoon physics people.

"We are watching Rougeport Shore, and that's final!" yelled Ganondorf.

Things began spiraling downhill from there. The Ice Climbers jumped up to meet up with Ganondorf's head and smashed his face in. Luigi took advantage of the situation and stuggled against Ganondorf to grab the remote from his hands. Mario emerged from the kitchen, with pottery on his head and was clearly pissed. He took out a hammer and jumped into battle, yelling. He missed Ganondorf, instead hitting Popo in the head. Before Mario could apologize for that, the male Ice Climber yelled and attacked Mario with his own hammer. While they had a sword duel with hammers, Luigi managed to get the remote in his grasp, but Ganondorf and Nana began strangling him. They knocked him over, causing him to throw the remote... directly into the tv. Everyone stopped fighting to stare at the tv, which no longer displayed a picture but instead a huge crack with a remote in it's center.

"...Whoops." was all Luigi could say. Almost immediately, a Toad ran in.

"MARIO! GREEN GUY! OTHER PEOPLE! SOMETHING HAP-" yelled Toad. He stopped talking when he noticed the odd scene before him: Ganondorf was holding Luigi, his fist ready to punch him in the face while the others had hammers ready to beat Luigi like a pinata. "Uh... Maybe this isn't the best time." Everyone stopped their attempt to murder Luigi to listen to the Toad.

"Sorry you had-a to see that-a. What's the problem Toad?" asked Mario.

"A weird ship was flying across the sky earlier!" said the small mushroom headed freak. "Er.. I take offense to that." Oh sorry, small mushroom headed midget.

"Ooh! Is this-a another Mario Galaxy adventure?" said Luigi.

"Can we be in it?" asked Popo.

"Since Bowser isn't here, can I be the villain?" asked Ganondorf.

"Yeah! It will be fun-a for everyone!" cheered Mario. Everyone then made a group high-five. I'm not sure how that could happen, but it did.

"Guys! This isn't another space adventure!" yelled Toad. Everyone then let out a groan of disappointment, "Just investigate it!"

* * *

"How come we always end up crashng?" asked Pikachu.

"Fate is cruel like that." muttered Meta Knight. They ended up crash-landing in a nice grassy plain, with only minor injuries.

"Oh my god! There's no physics here!" shouted Fox. They turned to what he was facing and saw several blocks floating in the air.

"It looks like we ended up in Mario's universe." said Meta Knight.

"Forget that! If physics is broken, then that means gravity is broken, therefore, I CAN FLY!" yelled Fox. He spread out his arms and jumped up in the air. According to the Mario universes' rule, physics and basic science can be as convoluted as possible. Except falling. Fox jumped high for a second, only to faceplant, disappointed. As Meta Knight and Pikachu began helping Fox up, Mario, Luigi, Ganondorf, and the Ice Climbers hid from behind a pipe. They still have not recognized the trio.

"So.. aliens?" said Ganondorf. He needed to be briefed on many technological feats. Except tv, which they apparently had in his universe. Hey, people had to become stupid somehow, right?

"They're a bunch of monsters from space." said Nana.

"They shoot lasers from their eyes and wants to experiment on your brain!" said Popo.

"...Space?"

"...What's above the sky." said Mario in a deadpanned tone.

"Guys, what do you-a think we should do-a?" asked Luigi.

"We hunt aliens of course!" said both of the Ice Climbers, brandishing both hammers and running toward the presumed aliens. The adults shrugged and followed them, yelling a war cry. Pikachu looked at them, confused.

"Hey, isn't that Mario and the other losers?" said Pikachu.

"It seems so." said Meta Knight. The Ice Climbers came running in first, screaming and running toward Fox. Popo jumped at Fox, but the man dodged it.

"Ha! Guess who got used to being attacked after crash landing places? This gu-" boasted Fox until he was smashed in the head by Nana.

"DIE YOU HORRIBLE CREATURE!" shouted Nana as she pounded her hammer into Fox.

"Nana! Calm down, it's just us!" said Meta Knight, attempting to restrain the girl. The adults stopped running, finally realizing that the aliens weren't aliens, but their fellow Smashers.

"Oh great. More roommates." muttered Ganondorf, who did not enjoy sleeping at Mario's house. Luigi kept singing in his sleep and the Ice Climbers refused to sleep and instead jumped on their beds making loud noises.

"Guys! Oh wait-a..." said Mario. He reached into his overalls and pulled out a sheet of paper. "You-a sent these, right?"

"Yes. We've managed to do decent progress in securing these secrets. I assume you guys went to search for the one in your universe?" said Meta Knight.

"Um..." said the plumber.

"You didn't want to do stuff, did you?" said Pikachu.

"Well, we all-a needed a break after being chased-a by a horrible monster." said Mario.

"I've been having-a nightmares since then..." murmured Luigi.

"That's nice. Shouldn't we be getting the secret or something?" asked Fox, rubbing his head from Nana's assault.

"You're right! Uncle Mario, can we go help save our entire dimension?" asked Popo.

"Yeah! As if there are-a any threats, right-a?" said the red capped plumber. Ganondorf realized what he said and turned to him.

"What about Bowser's army?" he asked.

"Bowser's not here, remember? No one's leading his-a army." pointed out Mario. Gnnondorf made an evil laugh and ran off, while everyone else gave him confused looks, "Where are you-a going?"

"There's a perfectly good army sitting around and no one's taking it! I shall gather my new forces and conquer your land! So screw you people! I don't need to sleep at your house! I am a king, and I deserve a castle!" yelled Ganondorf, flipping the bird as he ran off toward's Bowser's Castle, even though he had no idea where it was. Everyone stared off into the distance until Pikachu piped up.

"...Is this something we should be worried about?"

* * *

While Ganondorf ran off to hijack Bowser's Castle, another villain emerged into the world. King Boo stared around his dark and dusty mansion, which was basically his castle. Boos suddenly became visible to greet their king.

"Sir! You've returned!" said Boo 1.

"We were worried sick!" said Boo 2. All of the Boos continued to say stuff until King Boo rose his hand, telling them to be silent.

"Settle down my subjects. We got a new target this time!" said King Boo. All of the Boos cheered.

"What are we going after sir?" said Boo 3.

"I have no idea." said King Boo. All of the Boos stopped chattering.

"...What do you mean you don't know?" said Boo 2.

"Well, all I know is that when you go near it, it makes weird talking sounds and it's somewhere in this universe." said King Boo.

"...You do know how huge this universe is, right?" asked Boo 1.

"Yes, but we have a lot of undead to work with, right?" asked King Boo.

"Actually sir a lot of our forces left. They think that you're not... kingly material." said Boo 3. This created an awkward silence.

"They don't think I'm kingly material? _I AM A FRIGGING KING!_" yelled King Boo. He pointed at his crown, which is totally not made of plastic. "See this crown? It is the crown of _royalty_!"

"I know. We're not the one's doubting you sir." said Boo 1.

"Then if you aren't doubting me, I demand you all go and search! _NOW!_" shouted King Boo. All of the Boos disappeared, going off to search for whatever their king wanted. It was either that or they were deserting him for being terrible. Regardless, the king grinned to himself. "Wow. I sounded like a total badass. ...Well, back to my soaps." The king then flew off to watch the soap operas he had been watching before Giygas rudely interrupted him.

* * *

Gannondorf sat down, trying to breathe fresh air. He had been running non-stop for miles, but ultimately, he came to a large castle that was surrounded by volcanos. He looked up at the castle, which had a giant sign that said, "**Bowser - Trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom since 1985.**" Glad that he finally managed to find the place, he strutted on over to the castle doors, which was guarded by a pair of Dark Koopatrols, which were the strongest and finest of Bowser's minions. They eyed the large nosed man suspiciously.

"I am Gannondorf, King of Evil. I've heard that your glorious leader, Bowser, is gone, so I've come to take over!" said Ganondorf. The Dark Koopatrols whispered to each other and faced Ganondorf.

"Okay, 'new king'. We're going to go break the news to the others and see how they take it." said one of the Dark Koopatrols.

"You do that." said Ganondorf, watching the two Dark Koopatrols retreat into the castle. He smiled. Even people from other universes can recognize his evil. He stood around, waiting for the Koopatrols to come back so he could take the throne. He heard a noise above him and looked up: there was a cannon pointing at him. Before he could say, "Oh crap", the cannon shot a Bullet Bill directly at him, blowing him feet away. Ganondorf continued to run as more and more Bullet Bills are blasted at him. He quickly turned around and punched one Bullet Bill, sending it spiraling directly at the castle, creating a huge crack in it's walls. "Hey! This is no way to treat your king!"

A Hammer Brother appeared on the top of the castle, holding a megaphone, "Like hell you are the king! You may clearly be evil, but we already have a king: Bowser Jr!" Ganondorf widened his eyes; he forgot that Bowser had a son. Actually, there were also six others and a daughter, but they keep going on vacation somewhere.

"You're kidding, right? You put a stupid kid as king, but not me, the Great Ganondorf?" yelled Ganondorf. He jumped behind a rock as another Bullet Bill was launched at him.

"If you want to be king, you have to challenge King Bowser Jr for the throne." announced the Hammer Brother. The castle doors opened up, inviting the villain in. Ganondorf strolled in; defeating a child? How hard could that be?

* * *

Mario, Luigi, the Ice Climbers, Meta Knight, Fox, and Pikachu all sat down at a table, thinking of a way to find the secret.

"We could ask one of those Merl-people." pointed out Luigi, referring to the magician like people that appeared in the Paper Mario games. Mario shook his head.

"They all moved to Flipside for some-a reason, and without a magical butterfly leading me-a there, I can't go there again." explained Mario.

"Wait, magical butterfly?" asked Pikachu.

"As if there isn't a butterfly Pokemon already." shot back Mario.

"Touche."

"Mario, you're famous everywhere, right? Perhaps you could enlist your legions of followers to search for the secret." said Meta Knight.

"I dunno. What do you guys-a think?" asked Mario.

"If we do that, it might tip off villains." said Luigi.

"Yeah! We can't have bad guys running around." agreed Popo.

"Dunno." said Fox, who had not been paying attention to the conversation. "How come your tv isn't working?"

"Uncle Fox, it clearly has a crack in it." pointed out Nana.

"I don't believe you!" yelled Fox, who continued to hit the power on button on the remote (which had shards of glass stuck to it). Everyone decided it was best to ignore him and continue the meeting.

"Well, since we can't think of any ideas, it seems that we are in a rut. The only thing to hope for is for Giygas to grace this universe and follow him to the secret." said Meta Knight.

"G-GIYGAS?" screamed Luigi, who did not like the idea of a demon appearing in his universe. The wimpy plumber fainted. They all decided it was best to ignore him too.

"We have to do something!" shouted Nana.

"Yeah. Maybe we can ask some mystical space chick for help." mused Fox. Something clicked in Mario's brain.

"That's-a it!" he shouted.

"...Huh?" said everyone else but Luigi.

"Rosalina! She's a godly diety that watches over-a the stars! If anyone could-a help, it has to be-a her!" said Mario.

"...So... Galaxy adventure?" said Popo.

"Yeah! Galaxy adventure!" cheered Mario. Everyone but Luigi and Pikachu did a group high five.

"Wait, how the hell are we getting into space?" asked Pikachu.

"Well, there are some-a ways..." said Mario.

* * *

King Boo sat on his couch, eating popcorn. He was watching an important episode of Survivor: Lavalava Island edition, where Bombette would finally decide between Kooper and Goombario. This had been turned into a cruel choice when the host Kammy Koopa said that the person she doesn't choose will be eliminated. King Boo watched the screen intensely...

"So, who would it be darling?" cackled Kammy.

"Well... the person I choose is..." began Bombette. Then the tv's image flickered to show Ridley. King Boo then let out a mighty scream, which contained every ounce of anger that was within the king's body. His anger and rage would become the greatest rage that has ever happened ever in the Mushroom Kingdom, and he would later be rewarded with the "World's Greatest Rage" award by the Mushroom World Records. Until that moment came to be, King Boo would be pissed as hell.

"_WHAT THE HELL RIDLEY? I WAS WATCHING SURVIVOR!_" yelled King Boo.

"Ooh, what happened?" asked Ridley.

"That's. What. I. _Would like_. **_TO KNOW_**." said King Boo, every word containing hate. However, Ridley wouldn't take him seriously.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. So, we're throwing a Giygas bomb through a plot hole. Go get it and don't fail like I did!" said Ridley cheerfully. His image left the television screen, revealing the credits. King Boo cried into a pillow, not giving a damn about the Giygas bomb if he couldn't see the thrilling climax to the episode. Where will it end up? Oh, I'll save that for later. Ha, I am such a troll.

* * *

On Mario's front lawn, multiple devices has been set up: The Sky Pop, from Super Mario Land sits with Mario sitting in it. A Blue Yoshi (unrelated to the Smasher Yoshi) with a shell in it's mouth is being ridden by Popo and Nana. Lastly, there was a Racoon Leaf left for... um... someone.

"What? Only one?" asked Pikachu.

"Sorry. A lot of Goombas like to-a pretend to be Tanoombas, so they keep buying out-a Raccoon Leaves." explained Mario.

"What about the others?" asked Meta Knight.

"Well, the only other thing capable of flying into-a space that doesn't include building a rocket from-a scratch is the Toad Brigade ship." said Mario. "But those guys are on-a vacaion to Isle Delfino."

"We don't care! We always stick together!" said Fox, hugging Meta Knight and Pikachu. It'd be more heartwarming if it weren't so weird and awkward.

"Um... thanks Fox. Glad you care." said Pikachu awkwardly.

"Wait for me!" screamed a voice from Mario's house. Luigi came running outside and he ran into the Raccoon Leaf. He transformed into Raccoon Luigi and due to the momentum he gathered, he began to fly. ...But since they were in the forest, he ended up hitting his head on a tree branch, knocking himself out cold.

"...We'll take care of him for you." said Meta Knight.

"Good. We'll try to get to-a space, while you guys-a find the Toad Brigade." said Mario. Without any hesitation, he began moving the plane and it moved through the forest, eventually taking off at it's exit. Popo and Nana hits their Yoshi.

"Come on! Yip yip!" said Popo.

"...What do you think this is, Avatar?" was what the blue Yoshi would have said if the shell enabling him to fly wasn't in his mouth. Instead, he rolled his eyes and flew off. The trio waved their friends goodbye before turning to each other.

"Wasn't Isle Delfino that place with the plaza and all?" asked Pikachu.

"Yeah! I can't wait to have a relaxing day at the bea... I mean go to the island and not enjoy anything there and instead go on a tiring adventure!" said Fox.

"Quite. Well then, we must be heading off." said Meta Knight. Together, the trio walked out of the forest and toward Toad Town, where they will soon find out a way to Isle Delfino. Oh yeah, and they forgot about Luigi, but no one likes Luigi anyway.

* * *

But enough about them. Let's go back to Ganondorf. The villain was led through the halls of Bowser's Castle, towards the throne room. Ganondorf noticed lots of toys left lying around and great paintings that's been graffiti'd on. The Koopa leading him noticed him looking around.

"In case you're wondering, having a kid as a king had everything go downhill." explained the Koopa.

"And he's still king why?"

"He's more funner than Bowser. ...Ah, here we go. King Bowser Jr awaits." said the Koopa. He pushed open a pair of giant doors, shoving Ganondorf through them. What he saw was rather unimpressive: a kid wearing a bandanna around his mouth sat on top of the throne, playing a DS and eating chips. He noticed that Ganondorf was finally here and threw away the DS and chips away.

"So, how dare you try to take my papa's throne?" asked Bowser Jr.

"Because, he's not here and I'm used to having legions of monsters under my command!" shouted Ganondorf. Thunder rolled outside, making this line epicer than it should be.

"Well then.. You must challenge me, the great King Bowser Jr!" shouted the small king. Ganondorf cracked his fists and lunged at Bowser Jr. "Woah wait! I didn't say fighting challenge! Sheesh, what is wrong with you?"

"Then... what will you challenge me to?" asked Ganondorf.

"It is but of course the greatest challenge in existance! Today, you shall weep and cry as you are beaten by me, Bowser Jr! We shall... have a demolition contest!" shouted Bowser Jr. Ganondorf stared blankly at him.

"...A demolition contest."

"Yep."

"In.. where?"

"This castle."

"...You do realize that there will be no castle for _either_ of us afterword, right?"

"Oh, are you chicken?"

"I am not-"

"CHICKEN CHICKEN! BAWK BAWK BAWK!" taunted Bowser Jr. Ganondorf's eye twitched; being made fun of by a small child? Unacceptable!

"Very well. I see to your challenge." approved Ganondorf.

"Great! We shall start in 3, 2, 1..." counted Bowser Jr. Suddenly, he drew out several Bob-Ombs out of nowhere. "GO!" He then lit up all of the Bob-Ombs and jumped away, blowing up the throne room and sending Ganondorf off his feet. He scowled. He refused to be beaten by a child. He ran, gaining momentum, and then punched, crashing through several walls. Suddenly, the floor above those areas collapsed as minions ran around screaming. Another explosion sounded at another part of the castle as Ganondorf destroyed pillars. This is truly a competition of the century, and will totally not be interrupted by anything.

* * *

God damnit. I guess we'll know the results next chapter then. Anyway, Giygas sat on his throne, glad that it's finally day-time, when most of his minions would be awake. Suddenly, Mewtwo and Vaati came in, gasping and wheezing for air.

"We just... got away... raccoon..." wheezed Vaati.

"I have the secret sir." said Mewtwo.

"Oh good." said Giygas. He then did what he had already done to Ashley and Porky; invade Mewtwo's mind, stealing the information directly from his head. He exited his mind, now knowing more than ever. Mewtwo glared at him, rubbing his head.

"You could have warned me first sir." muttered Mewtwo, in clear pain.

"Terribly sorry. Thank you for finding the secret. You guys may take a week off duty as a reward." said Giygas.

"Good. We're going to need it because..." began Mewtwo.

"GRAAH!" screamed something. Vaati turned around and saw Tom Nook. He promptly fainted from shock.

"...How." was all Mewtwo could say.

"Like I said, nobody evades me!" yelled Tom Nook. He frowned. "Except a bunch of squirrels, but you two were easier to follow."

"So, you're that bastard racoon they were talking about. My name is Giygas, future ruler of your dimension. Your skills entreupanor and stealth has certainly caught my eye, so I would like to enlist you in my ranks." said Giygas. Tom Nook shook his head.

"No thanks, I'm good."

"You... what? Did you just say no... **_to me?_**" said Giygas. He rose up from his throne. Mewtwo, knowing that things are about to become bloody, ran out, dragging Vaati with him. "**_Nobody says no to me._**"

"Well excuse me, but I still have a store to run and two employees that very much owe me money." said Tom Nook. Giygas thought things through a bit.

"Hmm... What if I were to say that I could help franchise your business across the entire dimension?" said Giygas.

"...I'm listening..."

* * *

Luigi woke up, and looked around. Where did everybody go? He prepared to get up when something lands near his feet.

"What is this?"

He looked at the small device. It looked sort of like that C4 thing Snake showed him once, except there was a vial of red dust attached to it. Whatever it was, it seemed important. He pocketed it, and realizing that no one's coming back for him, went back into the house, unaware of the danger he had put in his pocket...

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Now then, what's your favorite hero and villain so far? Also, what universe should our heroes travel to after going through the Mario universe? I would like to hear from people other than Souldin (I appreciate you man), so please review! Now then, with school coming, updates will become slow again. Not as slow as last time though, but it's certainly the end of my crazy update binge. Now then, questions. Will Crazy Hand stop being so crazy? Will our heroes reach Isle Delfino and join Mario and the Ice Climbers in their search for the wise Rosalina? Who will destroy Bowser's Castle more? Speaking of which, where is Bowser? Where is the ridiculous question I usually put in here? Find out in the next chapter friends!_


	12. Merlon's a Jerk

_Bluh bluh I hate school. I apologize if the writing sounds rushed, but please enjoy anyway._

* * *

_Chapter 11: Merlon's a Jerk_

* * *

_Where we last left off, well, everyone, they were doing... stuff I guess. Mario and the Ice Climbers are currently going up to space to consult with Rosalina, who could help pinpoint the location of the Mario world's secret. Ganondorf wanted to take over Bowser's kingdom, but is currently having a competition with Bowser Jr for the throne. King Boo in the meantime has been commanded to detonate a Giygas bomb... but he's too busy crying over the latest episode of Survivor to care. However, Luigi managed to find the Giygas bomb, which luckily has not been activated yet. What of our heroes? They are heading to Delfino Island, where the Toad Brigade are vacationing, so they can borrow their ship and head into space. ...Yeah, it all makes sense in context. Moving on then..._

Ganondorf and Bowser Jr stood proudly outside of the ruins of Bowser's Castle, which was decimated during their "Demolition Contest". A Magikoopa judge looks at them awkwardly, trying to decide who's the winner.

"Alright then. According to all of the fleeing bystanders..." he stated. He looked at a clipboard and looked back to them. "You're both tied with 49 percent."

"WHAT?" yelled both villains.

"Yes. While there's nothing left to smash in the castle, we the minions still count as castle proper- WAIT, NO!" screamed the Magikoopa. He is punched into the sky by Ganondorf. The rest of the minions ran in horror as Bowser Jr began chasing them down. Wow! It's a minion hunt! This is surely more exciting than the last contest and will probably not be interrupted eith-

* * *

OH COME ON!

"You say something Hyper?" asked Fox.

No no, nothing's wrong except for a crack in my fourth wall. I'll get to fixing that. Now then, our heroes are currently in Toad Town, trying to find a way to get to Isle Delfino.

"Any new leads?" asked Meta Knight. All three of them had split up to ask various Toads on how to get across the ocean.

"No. These idiots aren't very helpful. No wonder Peach keeps getting kidnapped." said Pikachu.

"I know, they freak out easily. Flashback!" said Fox. He then shows us a flashback, where he tried to greet a Toad. "Hi, I wonder if-" Before he could finish, the Toad threw out his arms and ran away screaming.

"GIANT TALL ANIMALS ARE INVADING! I WARNED YOU GUYS ABOUT THEM! I TOLD YOU DOGS!" he screamed. And just like that, the flashback ended.

"Well, there must be at least one competent person around here..." stated Meta Knight.

"LIKE ME?" screamed a voice. A giant puffy cloud thing appeared in front of them. All Toads in the nearby vicinity fled for their lives from the 'murderous' dust cloud. The dust settled, revealing an old man garbed in blue robes. "I'm Merlon. Nice to meet you."

Pikachu grabbed him. "WHERE WERE YOU?"

"Where was I what?" said Merlon, unfrightened.

"We were looking for someone to help us _FOR THREE HOURS!_" shouted Pikachu.

"I was too busy doing old guy wise things. I hope you understand."

"...Old guy wise things? What kind of answer is that?"

"Shhh... You have to respect your elders." said Fox.

"See? Someone with respect. Now then, what do you need my help for?" asked Merlon.

"Sir, we need to find a way to Isle Delfino. There are no long-distance vehicles to help us reach there." explained Meta Knight. Merlon carefully thinks, coming up with the best solution.

"How about a warp pipe? There's a system of pipes down in the sewer. I'm not quite sure why they're there, but they are." said Merlon.

"Warp pipes! Of course! Let's just go and-" began Pikachu.

"Nuh uh uh. I demand payment." said Merlon.

"...Can't you let us get information for free?" asked the confused knight.

"Nope. Pay up please." demanded the jerky greedy magic old man thing. Everyone grumbled, taking out their wallets...

* * *

"Sir?" said a Boo, appearing in his master's abode. But King Boo wasn't nowhere to be seen. "Sir? Are you still angry about missing Surviv- AHHH!" He screamed as King Boo appeared, with a crazed look at his face.

"_I AM THE BARD OF RAGE AND I WILL MURDER EVERYTHING!_" he yelled. He then coughed and went back to his calm demeanor. "Hey. What's happening?"

"Um... we have been dealing with informants and consulting with the magical beings. We have a list of places where this 'thing' you were talking about may be. But we need to narrow it down, so don't expect results until a few days later."

"...Huh? Oh right, that mission thing I was doing. Well I'll ju... wait a minute... I think I was supposed to be doing something."

"Like ruling us properly?"

"No... Something more important..."

* * *

Luigi sat on the couch watching tv. ...He would be watching tv if he hadn't accidently broken it in the last chapter. So instead of brainless entertainment, he was confronted by boredom. He could surf the Internet, but that's too time consuming. Besides, if he comes across TV Tropes again, he'll be sucked inside. Forever. It's like a black hole except on the internet. He then came to a decision: to go to sleep. Yup. That's how boring he is. He stretches onto the couch and grabs what he assumes is an alarm clock from a nearby table and set it to wake him up in 2 hours. What he didn't know was that he grabbed the Giygas bomb and just set it off to blow up in a few hours. But it's all good.

"No Daisy... Don't leave-a me for Waluigi..." he snored.

* * *

After being forced to pay a weird old man, our trio entered a pipe, leading into Toad Town Sewers.

"Who the hell decided to put the pipes in the sewer?" questioned Pikachu.

"Everything loves being inconvenient. You just get used to it." said Fox.

_bloop bloop bloop_

"...Anyone else here that?" asked Fox.

"I think it's just the water bubbling from... whatever." said Pikachu.

"Let's not think too much into this. Instead, we must keep entering pipes until we find Isle Delfino." commanded Meta Knight.

And so everyone ran off to try the pipes, while ignoring the creepy blooping noise coming from the water. At first, it seemed like an easy task. But after several entries, it quickly became apparant on how damn huge the Mario universe was. The first floor of pipes lead to Paper Mario locations, the second different countries, the next leads to cities... Basically, lots of pipes that lead to places our heroes didn't want to go.

"HOW COME THERE'S SO MANY PIPES!" screamed Piakchu, jumping out of a pipe that had Chain Chomps on his tail.

How indeed hero. How indeed.

"I think I found it!" yelled Fox.

"Really?" asked Meta Knight, running in to help defend Pikachu from the bezerk Chain Chomps.

"Yeah... It looks like an island... Quick come in!" yelled the tall animal, retreating into a pipe. Pikachu tackled a Chain Chomp into the sewer water while the other got scared off by Meta Knight. The Chain Chomp ended up entering a random pipe and eventually would find a nice home in the countryside, where he would have a loving family and all of the apples he could eat. Awww... What a happy ending? Huh? Oh right. Focus. I must stay focused. Not focusing is bad for this story and makes Giygas take over the dimension faster, yes. They almost reached the pipe... when a tentacle came out of the water, smacking them away.

"BLOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" screamed a voice coming from the water. Suddenly, as if some asshole-ish author wanted to make the lives of his characters miserable, a giant Blooper came out of the water and confronted them.

"OH COME ON! And seriously... is he flying? What the hell? Squids shouldn't fly!" complained Pikachu. The Blooper, who had been through many exchanges like this before just threw a book on Mario physics at him. Meta Knight took the book and read it.

"Huh. Apparently everything but gravity doesn't apply as much then in other universes." said Meta Knight.

"Hey guys! It really is Isle Delfino!" shouted Fox. He came out of the pipe and frowned upon seeing the Blooper. "Er... see you later." The coward then proceeds to hide back inside the pipe.

The Blooper made a loud noise and floated over to the mouse and midgit companion. They had no idea what he was going to do until the Blooper unleashed a spray of ink on them. Pikachu ran around, trying to get the stuff out of his eyes. Meta Knight however, due to his mask, was not blinded and swiped at the giant squid, cutting off one of the tentacles. The Blooper howled with rage and grabbed Meta Knight with one of his tentacles and began beating him against the floor.

"Ouch, ow, I demand you stop this instant." said Meta Knight, who didn't seem to be too concerned about getting beaten up.

"SURPRISE PUSH!" yelled Fox. He flew out of the pipe and pushed the Blooper out of the air and into the water. Yeah, that happened. maybe he ripped out the thing making the Blooper fly? No, the Blooper was doing that on his own. Look, I'm just as confused as you are. Pikachu smiled, seeing the perfect opprotunity to attack. With a simple electrical bolt, he fired it into the water and managed to electrocute the Blooper. And Meta Knight too, but he's been through worse.

"Blooooooop..." groaned the Blooper, who had been fried into a nice golden brown. With the Blooper weakened, Meta Knight managed to escape from it's clutches.

"Mr. Blooper, why'd you attack my friends?" asked Fox.

"Bloop... I like attacking heroes..." muttered the Blooper.

"Wait a minute, this clearly means... Giygas is here." said Meta Knight.

"Who's Giygas? No, I just attack heroes for fu-"

"Oh my god! He knows we're here! He told this guy to slow us down!" shouted Fox.

"I don't-"

"We need to find that secret and fast!" said Pikachu. The trio jumped into the pipe to Isle Delfino. The Blooper sighed.

"No one ever listens to me... Bloop... I should stop attacking people for no reason." he muttered. Then he felt something moving in the water. "Oh! A Chain Chomp! Come here... BLOOP!" He screamed as the Chain Chomp that got knocked into the water earlier began gnawing on his delicious and well-cooked skin.

* * *

One Koopa hid behind a bunch of rocks. The last Koopa specifically. Two maniacs are running around and hurting the others just to see who would get King Bowser's throne. It's pretty ridiculous, but the Koopa didn't want to go up to their faces and tell them that. Patience young Troopa. If you keep hiding, they won't get you.

"GANON PUNCH!"

Oh never mind, he found you. Ganondorf punches the rocks the Koopa was hiding behind, easily demolishing it and punching the poor Koopa in the face.

"Okay! That's everyone!" yelled the Magikoopa judge. Many of the minions show up to see who won the throne, while bitterly rubbing their wounds. Ganondorf and Bowser Jr looked at each other, wishing each other the best of luck. In their minds however, they plan on overthrowing the other if they win. But like that's going to happen. I mean it this time too. "The one who did more damage to our physical and emotional well-beings is..."

Ganondorf tried to look confident, but is nervous about the results.

Bowser Jr impatiently tapped his foot, just wanting to get the damn thing over with.

"Ganondorf!"

"YES!" shouted the villain. Everyone cheered except for Bowser Jr, who just had a tantrum. "As the first command as new king, I want you all to rebuild the castle!" Everyone stopped cheering.

"Er... huh?" said the Magikoopa.

"You heard me."

"But you were the one who..."

"YOU DARE QUESTION THE KING OF EVIL?"

"No, we'll get onto it."

"You better." said Ganondorf. All of the minions grumbled, going off to rebuild Bowse-, oh I'm sorry, Ganon's Castle from scratch. "As soon as you're done rebuilding, I want all of you in tip-top shape! We shall show this universe that there is a new king! A much more competent one! I shall succeed where Bowser failed: take over the Mushroom Kingdom! Mwhahahaha!" Bowser Jr scoffed.

"Yeah good luck with that." said Bowser Jr.

* * *

"Greetings! Welcome to Isle Delfino strange ones!" said a Pinata, who greeted everyone who came out of the warp pipe from there to Toad Town. Meta Knight, Pikachu, and Fox emerged and took in the surroundings. It was the Delfino Plaza they knew from fighting there, except with less fighting. Obviously.

"Okay, we're in the right place. Now what?" questioned Pikachu.

"We need to seek out the Toad Brigade and ask them politely for their spaceship." said Meta Knight.

"Do we even know the Toad Brigade?" pointed out Fox.

"Sure we do. They-" began Meta Knight. However, he stopped talking when he realized that none of them knew what the Toad Brigade looked like. Pikachu just facepalmed.

"Crap. How come things must always be so complicated?" said Pikachu.

"Things don't need to be complicated when I can simplify them." said a voice. Another dust cloud came in, causing a panic among the Piantas who were passing by. The cloud cleared, revealing yet again Merlon. "Nice to see you again."

"...How did you get here?" asked Meta Knight.

"Shennanigins."

"...Okay... How come you didn't use 'shennanigins' to bring us here in the first place?"

"Yeah! We had to go through the sewers!" yelled Fox.

"We. Got attacked. By a giant flying squid." said Pikachu.

"Please stop with the questions. Now then, what seems to be the problem now?" asked Merlon.

"We're looking for some guys called the Toad Brigade." said Fox.

"Wait, do we have to pay for information again?" asked Pikachu suspiciously.

"No, this one's on the house. Turns out you guys overpayed the first time. Now then, the Toad Brigade... They're a childish bunch, so I imagine they would be on Pinna Park, which is an amusement park themed island near Isle Delfino. There's a cannon here that can deliver you there."

"Why not a boa-"

"Because boats are stupid. Now then, you guys must get going if you wish to catch up with your friends."

"We never said we were trying to catch up with our friends." said Meta Knight.

"I know. For you see, I know... EVERYTHING. ...Bye." said Merlon, disappearing in a poof.

"...Well, let's get looking for the cannon." said Pikachu.

"Yeah! I can't wait to go to the amusement park!" cheered Fox.

"Fox, we need to focus on searching for the Toad Brigade instead of pursuing frivolous fun." said Meta Knight.

"Oh come on! We need a break!" complained Fox.

"He has a point. We need a little break." said Pikachu.

"Fine. Forget what we're doing. Let's just spend our entire day at the amusement park." muttered Meta Knight.

* * *

Mario and the Ice Climbers (also the Yoshi) has stopped at a planet to ask for directions. Space is limitless, so directions would be very valuable.

"Hi-a! Do you know-a where's the Comet Observatory?" the plumber asked a small pink star creature.

"I'll only tell you if you feeeed meeee!" said the Luma in a sing-songy tone. Mario turned to the others.

"Hey! Did you-a guys grab any Star Bits!"

"I did, but Popo used them to shoot at stuff!" said Nana.

"In retrospect I thought they were useless." said Popo. Mario sighed. It'll be a while before they find Rosalina.

* * *

"Wheeee!" yelled Meta Knight uncharacteristically as he rode the roller-coaster.

They managed to blast themselves to Pinna Park. Meta Knight was going to go and search for the Toad Brigade, but Fox and Pikachu wouldn't have that. So they dragged him over to a bunch of carnival rides and forced him to ride them. RIDE THEM LIKE HE MEANT IT. Eventually, Meta Knight came to appreciate the glory that is roller-coasters.

"See! I told you you would have fun!" said Fox as the roller-coaster came to a stop.

"Yes, but we should seriously... oh, I never noticed that pirate ship ride before. Okay, one more ride, and that's it." said Meta Knight. They were prepared to leave when they heard a bunch of guys getting off the roller-coaster cars behind them.

"Ha ha! That was fun!" said a Toadish voice.

"Er... yeah..." said another Toad.

"Oh come on sir. You were afraid the entire time." said yet another.

"Zzzzz..."

"What I'm surprised about is that Yellow slept through the whole thing." said one last voice. The trio turned around. Could it be...?

"Are you guys the Toad Brigade?" asked Meta Knight.

"Huh? Oh yeah! We are the great Toad Brigade! We've been up to space twice in our glorious ship and we're elite members of the Toad Guard!" said a red toad proudly. Let's just refer to the Toads by their colors.

"But we're on vacation! If you have any jobs for us, we're unavailable!" said Green.

"ZzzzzzzZZZZ... Huh, oh hi." said Yellow, waking up and then going back to sleep.

"Look, we need to get into space. Give us your ship." said Pikachu, getting right to the point.

"I'm sorry, but our vessel is currently not ready for space exploration. And by that, I mean we're too busy enjoying our vacation." said Blue.

"Oh yeah? Well, will THIS CONVINCE YOU! CHUUUUUUU!" screamed Pikachu. Pikachu then unleashed a powerful electrical surge, creating a beam of electricity to go up in the air. All of the things that were run on electricity in a mile-radius short circuited and stopped working. Lights blew up, people's hairs stood up, and any Lakitu that happened to be in the skies at the moment was striked down by lightning.

"...Scary." was all Fox could say. He and Meta Knight took a step away from him. The Toad Brigade were scared out of their minds.

"AAH! Okay, we'll help you get up into space for whatever reason! Just don't hurt us!" said Red.

"Wait... where did we park the ship?" said Purple. Everyone just stared at each other.

"It looks like a job for-" said a disembodied yet familiar voice.

"Ugh, just cut the special effects and just poof in Merlon." muttered Pikachu. Merlon then literally poofs in. Literally. As in, suddenly appears with no special effects. He just... appears.

"Hello again. I understand that you need help?" said Merlon.

"We're looking for their ship!" said Fox.

"Okay then, but you must pay this time." said Merlon. He turned to face the trio, but they have run off and hidden somewhere. He turns to the Toad Brigade instead. "I guess you're paying."

"But... They're the one's who.." muttered Blue.

"Yes, but it's your ship." pointed out Merlon. The Toads all groaned and fished out whatever money they had in their pockets. "Thank you. It's actually right there." He pointed to a nearby parking lot, where the Starshroom was.

"Wait! We could have found that on our own! Give us our money back!" shouted Red. He lunged at Merlon, who disappeared, leaving the Toad Brigade leader to fall onto the ground.

"Sorry no refunds." said Merlon's disembodied voice.

"Is he gone?" asked Fox, popping up from his hiding place.

"Yeah, come back you jerks." said Green. The trio jumped out from behind where they were hiding and confronted the Toads.

"Alright, now then, we need to go search for Mario. We need to join his search for a woman named Rosalina." said Meta Knight.

"Oh yeah, the nice space woman. Well, I've been studying her vessel, the Comet Observatory, and it's flight path. I'll charter a way there." said Blue.

"Yes! Real plot advancement!" cheered Fox.

"Zzzz... Oh yay, go team."

* * *

Mario and the Ice Climbers have gotten back on track, and are heading to the Comet Observatory.

"Psst... Mario." whispered the pink Ice Climber.

"Yes Nana?"

"...You like Rosalina don't you?"

"Huh? No I-a don't!"

"I can see you blushing!"

"Hold on-"

"BLUSHIES, BLUSHIES, BLUSHIES!"

"Wait... Where is Rosalina exactly?" asked Popo, who did not want to endanger himself in all this shipping talk.

"She-a lives inside a space station like-a place called the Comet Observatory. Basically, if you-a see a giant building in-a space, that's her." said Mario.

"Oh, okay. ...Wait, does the Comet Observatory have a giant sun thing in the middle of it?" asked Popo.

"How do you-a know?"

"Because it's coming right at us."

They all screamed as the Comet Observatory slammed right into them, since they were unfortunate enough to be in it's tracks. Mario's Skypop blew up, causing the plumber to fall. Meanwhile, the Ice Climbers and the Yoshi ended up crashing as well. I'm not sure how you crash a horse dinosaur thing, but they did. The Yoshi threw the two children off his back.

"That's it, I had enough of you weirdos." said the Yoshi. But he didn't say it. Instead he ended up spitting the blue shell out of his mouth.

"Hi! Welcome to the Comet Observa-" began a random Luma before he gets hit square in the face with the shell. "Ouch... MAMA!" Suddenly the Comet Observatory shook with the wrath and angst of a powerful, celestial, maybe God, Rosalina. The Yoshi ran away in fear. Yeah, we're not going to be seeing him ever again. Probably.

"WHO DARES HURT MY LUMAS?" cried out Rosalina, appearing before the group. She stopped her rage upon seeing Mario though. "Oh hi Mario. Pleasant to see you here again."

"Rosalina! We-a need your help! You see, we're-a looking for something called-a Dimensional Secret..."

"Say no more. I know what and where the secret is. I know everything after all. You see, it's in..." she began. Suddenly, she stopped as if she was sensing something. Which she did. "...But before you search for the secret, there's more important matters to deal with in your world. A grand evil has been unleashed..."

"Yeah, that-a happens all the time-a."

"No, this one is different. This being shows signs of being from another universe."

"Um, Ms. Rosalina? Is this evil thing red and have scary faces in it?" asked Popo.

"Yes. It's also in your living room. Just to let you know." confirmed Rosalina. Realization kicked in.

"Oh no... Quick! We-a need to-a warn the others!" shouted Mario.

* * *

King Boo was still sitting in his mansion, angsting and still being a lazy sack of crap. A Boo appeared before him to deliver a report.

"King! I bring news!" he said.

"Are they re-running that Surviv-"

"No."

"Oh. Then what were you going to say?"

"Let's see... first off, some guy took over Bowser's Castle. Again. I give him 3 days tops before he gets kicked out. What else... oh yes, you were invited to the next Mario Kart tournament... oh, and Daisy knows you're here and wants to destroy you in the name of peace."

"...Anything I actually care about that's good news?"

"Oh yeah! We have narrowed down the list to two places. They are..."

* * *

Whoopse-daisy a cliffhanger! Ha, I'm a great troll. Right, now we're back with our heroes and the Toad Brigade. They have taken off from Isle Delfino and they are currently heading into space.

"How come there's so many space-ships in this story?" asked Pikachu.

"I don't know. Maybe the author of this story is unprofessional and is making things up as he goes." said Yellow.

"What?"

"Zzzzz..." snored Yellow, who fell back to sleep.

"Heh, check out this view! The Mushroom Kingdom's so huge!" exclaimed Fox, staring out the window. "Oh! And look at those red clouds!" Meta Knight, who had been chilling in the corner all this time, freaked out.

"Wait, what?" he asked. He pushed Fox away from the window. There was a mass of red clouds coming from nearby Toad Town. "Oh dear." A ringing noise was suddenly heard within the ship.

"AAH! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" screamed Red, believing it to be the alarm.

"Relax, it's my cellphone." said Fox.

"When did you get a cellphone?" asked Pikachu.

"Shennanigins." Fox answered. He pulled a cellphone out of his pocket and answered it, putting it on speaker for everyone to hear. "Hello?"

"Fox! Is this-a you?" yelled Mario from the other side.

"Oh hi."

"Fox! You-a guys need to head-a back to Toad Town! I don't-a know how, but Giygas is there! We'll handle the secret! You-a guys go investigate!" yelled Mario, hanging up. Fox dropped his phone in disbelief. Everyone stared in stunned silence. Except the Toad Brigade, who had no idea who Giygas is.

"Who?" asked Green.

"Okay, if you take all the bad guys in your universe and combine them, you'll get Giygas. Who is even worse than that." said Meta Knight. Then they freaked out.

"Oh crap! That thing's in Toad Town?" said Red.

"We must stop him from doing... whatever he's doing!" said Purple bravely.

"But... I don't want to..." whined Red. Piakchu went over to him and grabbed him by the neck.

"We're as terrified as you babies, but someone has to stop this! And it won't be Luigi!" yelled Pikachu.

"Okay okay! Just let go!" cried Red, afraid that Pikachu would shock him. "Ahem... Men! Bring the Starshroom into Toad Town and through those red clouds!"

"Aye captain!" saluted the other Toads, getting to work. The Starshroom stopped ascending into space and instead turned back toward the surface, heading toward the red clouds that might spell their doom.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. Poor planning I guess. And hooray, more people actually reviewed! Sodas all around! Now then, ahem, what happened to Luigi? Why does that Blooper from Paper Mario keep attacking you in the sewers? Will Ganondorf actually last more than 3 days in office? Will Mario and the Ice Climbers join in on the battle? When will my writing actually get better? Will Merlon continue to rip off our heroes? Where is the Mario universe's Dimensional Secret? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	13. Toad Town Troubles

_Nothing bad will happen in this chapter. Probably._

* * *

_Chapter 12: Toad Town Troubles_

* * *

The trio looked outside the window of the Starshroom as the Toad Brigade piloted it toward Toad Town. Toad Town was completely covered in red clouds, evil seeping out of them. It seems that either Giygas is here, or a Giygas bomb was detonated in the Mushroom world. Either way, everyone's in trouble.

"How in the world did this happen?" wondered Meta Knight.

"I don't know, but looks like we have to save those mushroom heads." muttered Pikachu.

"Yes, but couldn't anyone have prevented this? Like Luigi?" suggested Meta Knight. Everyone in the ship laughed. Including Yellow, who was sleeping at the time.

"Luigi? You really think Luigi could have stopped this thing?" said Fox in a mocking tone.

"...I guess it's all up to us then." gulped Meta Knight.

"Hey guys! Prepare for landing!" yelled Red. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu went to sit down safely in some chairs as the Starshroom breaks through the clouds. Toad Town seemed to be abandonned, which was strange seeing as it was all lively just hours ago. No one's around, no noises were heard, grass everywhere have died, and all of the street lamps had broken bulbs, leaving dark and abandoned streets. The Toad Brigade lands the ship on the ground and quickly shoos the three through the doorway.

"Hey! Why are you pushing?" yelled Pikachu.

"Oh! Um... we'll be giving our support from the sky. So... um... good luck." said Red. He quickly retreated back into the Starshroom, which blasted back into the sky and through the clouds, leaving our heroes in the darkened city.

"Well... Should we look around?" suggested Fox nervously. The trio split up to look around the town. Fox and Meta Knight mainly combed the streets, looking for any signs of life. Pikachu however lacked the courtesy to not break into people's homes, so he proceeded to do so, while stealing anything valuable. Hey, he's a hero and deserves to be paid for this stuff. Suddenly, he heard whispering...

"_Ha... Yes sir... A Fox, a midget and rat? Kill? Heeheehee... should be fun._" said a voice in the corner. Pikachu heard the crazy voice muttering to himself and slowly began backing out of the house... when the voice hissed. "I_NTRUDER? HA HA HA! ELECTRIC RAT! DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY!_" The source of the voice jumped out of the shadows: a Toad with a red glint in his eyes and a crazed grin on his face.

"Oh crap." was all Pikachu could say.

In the meantime, Fox and Meta Knight have failed their search for life aboveground, so they decided to go back into the sewers.

**bloop**

"We know you're there, might as well come out." said Meta Knight. The Blooper from earlier popped out of the water, with crispy brown skin and an eaten tentacle. He scowled at them.

"What do you want?"

"Everyone in Toad Town's missing, and everything is scary and stuff!" said Fox.

"That's probably because of those weird clouds. Some clouds came from the forest and covered Toad Town. Suddenly, everyone begins going blooping crazy and murderous and..." began the Blooper.

"Wait, what?" said Fox, who was clearly tacken aback by this development.

"Yeah. Things aren't good up there, bloop. Some guys came down here to escape, screaming for their lives, bloop." said the Blooper.

_HISS_

"...Er... was that you?" asked Meta Knight.

"No..."

"Do you have a brother that attacks people?" asked Fox.

"No. ...Oh god, you're on your own. BLOOP!" shouted the Blooper diving back into the water. Fox and Meta Knight were confused until they heard something coming out of the pipe behind them.

"_Oh hey. A fox and a midget. JUST WHAT WE WERE ORDERED TO KILL! HAhA HAHAHAHA!_" laughed a voice from the pipe. "_THEY'RE DOWN HERE. LET'S SHOW THEM OUR STABS!_" Suddenly, a group of Toads began walking out of the pipe, staring the two down with evil eyes.

"Bloop, you should start running." whispered the Blooper from the water. The Toads suddenly screamed, running at the two. Fox grabbed Meta Knight and ran into the nearest pipe, where they emerged at a village full of Koopas.

"Greetings! Welcome to Koopa Village!" greeted a random Koopa.

"Angry Toads are after us!" screamed Fox. The Koopa chuckled.

"What are you talking about? Toads are the most peaceful speices on this planet and..." began the Koopa. The Toads then poured out of the pipe, diving at Fox and Meta Knight. They quickly dodge, letting them attack the Koopa, who began screaming as the Toads began punching his shell, which showed visible cracks in it. While an innocent Koopa who had nothing to do with anything got beaten down, the heroes decided to sneak back through the pipe. Back with Pikachu, Pikachu was shoved against a wall as the crazy Toad held him by the neck.

"_Don't worry! We'll give you a 1-Up after I kill you... if we cared of course._" chuckled the Toad. Pikachu, taking advantage of the Toad's chuckling, conducted an electrical wave through his body, making the Toad release him. Although feeling guilty about it, Pikachu shocked the Toad, knocking him out cold.

"Sorry about that." he murmured before running out of the house. Down the street, a whole mob of insane Toads saw him and began running toward him. Pikachu used a good old Thunderbolt on the ones in front, hoping it would scare the others. However, no one showed fear. Instead, they kept on runing at him, muttering to an unknown voice and talking about beating Pikachu to death with their tiny fists. Pikachu backed up to the Toad Town Sewers pipe and screamed as Meta Knight came out. He stared at the crowds of Toads.

"You too?" asked the knight, taking out his sword.

"Don't forget about me!" shouted Fox, also coming out of the pipe. He gasped upon seeing the mob. "Um... I think it's safer in here..." Fox went back into the pipe... and jumped back out. "They're coming back!"

"Seriously, what the hell is going on?" asked Pikachu, throwing thunderbolts left and right at the relentless horde.

"It seems that being in the presense of these clouds have caused the Toads here to become evil." said Meta Knight.

"Well, we're screwed. Big time."

"...Are we going to die?" asked Fox.

"No, we must fight!" shouted Meta Knight.

* * *

"...and your friends have been backed up over to a pipe, where they're surrounded on all sides by Giygas fueled Toads, with even more Toads emerging from the pipe. It's safe to say that they're having a rough time." said Rosalina, telling Mario and the Ice Climbers of Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu's current situation. How? She's made of magic and miracles, that's why.

"Oh, you think?" answered Mario sarcastically.

"Ms. Rosalina, when are you gonna tell where the secret is?" asked Popo.

"Oh yes, I forgot. Now, the secret to this dimension exists in Shooting Star Summit, which isn't far from Toad Town." stated Rosalina.

"Great! We can-a go there and help those guys!" cheered Mario.

"Do we have to?" asked Popo, who was scared of Giygas.

"Child, if you wish to be heroic, you must be brave. You cannot be scared of a vast horde of possessed Toads that act like mindless zombies and might kill you on sight." said Rosalina.

"...I still don't want to fight."

"Well okay... I guess you don't want to be a hero."

"Wait! I do!"

"Then let's-a go!" said Mario grabbing Popo.

"Lumas! Form a Launch Star!" commanded Rosalina. A bunch of Lumas flew over to them and combined, transforming into a Launch Star powerful enough to launch them to the Mushroom World. Without any hesitation, Mario jumped in holding Popo, flinging them across the stars and vast space. Nana approached the star, but turned to Rosalina.

"I have a question before I go." said Nana.

"Yes?"

"Do you like Mario?" asked Nana. Rosalina got a small blush on her face before regaining her usual demeanor.

"No. Besides, Mario likes Peach and it's blatantly obvious. He doesn't need me to follow him and cause trouble. Yes, I don't like him. One bit. Probably." said Rosalina. Nana giggled a bit before jumping into the Launch Star.

* * *

"...the two places we've narrowed down to is Shooting Star Summit and Barrel Volcano." said the Boo messanger, finally telling King Boo the places where the secret could be at. King Boo thought carefully thought about this.

"...I got it! It must be in Barrel Volcano!" shouted King Boo.

"...Sir, wouldn't it make more sense for it to be in Shooting Star Summit?" asked the Boo.

"Oh come on, Shooting Star Summit is too obvious!"

"That's a good point, but..."

"Come on! To Barrel Volcano!" announced King Boo.

"...and now we'll be re-running the shocking Survivor episode." said the tv. King Boo floated back over to the couch.

"It can wait. Go get me some popcorn!" said King Boo. The Boo floated off, sighing. If the pay weren't decent, he'd desert the king in a heartbeat.

* * *

"March! Forward!" yelled Ganondorf. He sat atop a throne being carried by Koopatrols. In front of them was Bowser's... I mean Ganondorf's army, marching toward Toad Town, ready to invade it. Ganondorf smirked. It was all so perfect. Mario and the other heroes went to look for the dimensional secret, and Luigi is of no help to anyone, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom wide and open for invasion. A Paratroopa flew over to Ganondorf.

"Sir! I suggest we postpone this ivasion!" said the Paratroopa.

"What? Explain this nonsense!" growled Ganondorf.

"Well, you see, Toad Town is covered in dark evil clouds."

"...So...?"

"And, um, it's scary."

"...And I should care why?"

"It's... well, it's probably not a very good idea to invade at the moment." said the Paratroopa. Ganondorf laughed.

"Toad Town is filled with those weakling shroom hats. What trouble do they pose to us?" said Ganondorf, having no idea how much trouble he's going to get himself in.

* * *

The Toad Brigade watched things from the sky. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu were currently being chased down by the Toads, throwing attacks at them every chance they get. Unfortunately, it did not do much as the Toads they hit that didn't fall unconsious would immediately get up and continue the chase. Blue faced Red, a look of urgency on his face.

"We have to help those guys! Those Toads aren't normal... They may possibly kill them." said Blue.

"Exactly why we're staying up here." said Red. Everyone in the ship gave the captain a death glare. Yellow suddenly woke up.

"Just to let you know, there's something heading in our direction. Zzzzzz..." said Yellow. The Toad Brigade turned toward the nearest window... and saw Mario flying at them at high speeds.

"...This is going to hurt." said Red. Mario smashed into the Starshroom. Due to all of the momentum he was carrying, he still kept moving... while stuck onto the Starshroom. The Starshroom and Mario crashed on the ground, smashing the Starshroom into the ground with him. It's safe to say that the Starshroom has been demolished into a pile of metal-ly crap.

"Oh... Sorry..." said Mario to the Toad Brigade, crawling out of the wreckage of their beloved ship. Then he noticed something. "Wait, where's-a Popo?"

"HERE I AAAAAM!" yelled Popo, falling out of the sky and landing on top of Mario. "That's what you get for dropping me on the way!"

"DON'T FORGET ME!" shouted Nana, falling right after him, landing on the ground.

"_HISS! MARIO! HE MUST NOT GET IN THE WAY OF HIS PLANS!_" hissed a voice. Suddenly, a bunch of Toads came out of hiding, running at the group. The Toad Brigade predictably walked away to a safe distance to watch the battle. Mario and the Ice Climbers brandished their hammers and striked the Toads nearest them, sending them flying into the others. As they held out, the main characters were also holding out. The trio have climbed on top of the nearest house as the Toads began swarming them like zombies. Fox and Pikachu threw projectiles into the crowd as Meta Knight kicked off any Toads climbing up.

"These Toads are a persistant bunch!" yelled Meta Knight, stabbing his sword into the hand of a Toad that was climbing up the roof, making him fall. Fox continued to shoot at the Toads with his blaster... until his blaster ran out of juice.

"Oh god. OH GOD. No... AAAAH!" screamed Fox, throwing his now useless blaster at the Toads. He took a huge breath of air in his screaming and began coughing.

"Don't breathe the air Fox. We don't want you to become one of them." said Meta Knight. Unlike Fox and Pikachu, he wore a mask and didn't take in as much air as the others. Unfortunately, Pikachu yells his attacks and ends up having to breathe in the air.

"Ha... THUNDERBOLT! Ha ha... Why don't we give ourselves up. We're doomed anyway." said Pikachu in an almost cheery tone. He looked over the Toads and attempted to jump into them. "Wheeee..." Meta Knight caught the crazy electric rat and slapped him in the face. "Ouch... Thanks Meta. I'm starting to lose it."

"Indeed. It seems that we can't fight forever. Either the Toads will get us, or the evil will." said Meta Knight. He looked across the town... and spotted Mario and the Ice Climbers fighting some Toads, as the Toad Brigade sat in a corner, eating popcorn. "Guys! Mario and the others are over there! Let's go!" He spread out his cape, which transformed into wings and allowed him to fly over the mob. Pikachu did that Up B move of his to catch up. Fox tried to set himself on fire to follow them... but a Toad grabbed his leg.

"_I GOTS THE FOX. We ShAlL cOoK hIm InTo A dElIcIoUs StEw!_" said the Toad. Fox screamed, wondering if the Toads will actually go through with it. Suddenly, a green blur came past, smacking the Toad across the face and grabbing Fox.

"Woah woah woah. LUIGI?" said Fox surprised, realizing that it was Luigi who saved him.

"No time for-a explanations! RUN!" yelled Luigi. Together, they ran down the street as the crazy Toads ran after them. Eventually, they caught up with Meta Knight and Pikachu, who were fighting alongside the Mario and the Ice Climbers. Mario stopped smashing heads in to greet his brother.

"LUIGI!"

"MARIO!"

And then they proceeded to have the best brotherly hug in the Nintendo dimension. Even the crazed Toads stopped trying to kill everyone for a moment to savor this moment.

"Luigi! I thought you were in-a the house when those red clouds appeared!" said Mario.

"Yeah, but I was-a asleep. Apparently, it does not-a work on sleeping people." said Luigi. Everyone just blankly stared at him. The Toads even stopped again just to stare at him.

"Wait... You survived going crazy... by being asleep?" asked Fox.

"Yep. What's wrong?"

"We were sort of expecting something more... badass. Like escaping from the house as Giygas gets unleashed or something." said Pikachu.

"Well excuuuuuse me, but-" began Luigi.

"_ALL OF THE HEROES. KILL THEM ALL! KILL THEM KILL THEM KILL THEM..._" chanted a Toad. All of the other Toads began chanting alongside him as all of the normal people felt sccared out of their minds. Purple raised his hand.

"Does this include us?" he asked.

"No." The Toad Brigade blew a sigh of relief as the crazy Toads continued their death chant when all of a sudden...

"Your new king has arrived!" shouted a deep voice.

"Oh hell no." muttered Pikachu. Ganondorf had finally arrived with his army, facing down the heroes and the mob of Toads. The Toads angrily glared at them.

"HeY. yOu'Re No KiNg. PeAcH iS oUr OnE aNd OnLy RuLeR." said a Toad, in a normal childish voice as he displayed loyalty to his former ruler. His voice however turned back to the crazed one all the other Toads had. "_YoU wAnT tO rUlE? fIgHt Us ThEn_." Ganondorf's entire army laughed, while the heroes tried to signal to them to take the Toads seriously. Unfortunately, no one saw it.

"Oh? A challenge? Well, FACE MY WARLOCK PUNCH!" yelled Ganondorf. He jumped off his throne, drawing back his fist and punched the Toad who dared to challenge him... and the Toad catched it. Everyone gasped.

"He caught our king's invincible punch." whispered a Goomba.

"When did Toads become so badass and frightening?" whispered a Hammer Brother.

"Anyone else wet themselves?" asked a Shy Guy. Ganondorf turned to his army, trying to ignore the fact that the Toad caught his fist.

"What are you guys waiting for? CHARGE!" yelled Ganondorf. His army let out a battle cry and tried to run toward the castle, their main objective to their invasion. The Toads however wouldn't have that. They were loyal to Peach, through and through and even when she's not there. Ordinarily, Toads would run. But thanks to their Giygas fueled 'upgrade', they actually wanted to fight. They lunged at the invaders, chanting a death chant. The invaders were caught off guard. They did not expect that the Toads would fight back. In fact, the Toads began beating the crap out of the nearest soldiers. Ganondorf growled at this scene, kicking away the Toad holding his fist and screamed, running into combat. The Toad Brigade watched intensely. This would be a battle for the ages.

"Look! That Toad is mauling that guy's leg!" said Green.

"Amazing. I must document this event so that people can learn about this great battle for years to come." said Blue, writing down details in a notebook.

"Zzzzzz... Oh? A battle? ...Yeah, someone tape it for me. Zzzzz..." slept Yellow. Red turned toward the heroes.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be... doing something?" he asked.

"...Oh yeah. That's right! Let's-a go guys!" said Mario.

"Aww... But I want to see who wins..." groaned Fox.

"Yeah! And... oh man! Did you just see that guy throw the other guy over that building! Yeah! Fight!" cheered Popo.

"This... this is terrifying and awesome at the same time." said Luigi. He watched as a Toad and Koopatrol dueled. And the Toad was winning.

"Guys! Guys. Come on. We have things to do." said Meta Knight. Unfortunately, everyone but Mario was too fixated on the battle. He sighed. "Mario, can you drag Fox and Pikachu with me?" Mario grabbed a hold onto Fox and Meta Knight picked up Pikachu, heading toward Shooting Star Summit. They passed Peach's lonely castle (speaking of which, they have to tell her what's going on) and crossed a bridge as the sky turned to a starry night instead of the red darkness. It was very odd for such a peaceful place to be right next to a ghost town where a war was currently going on.

"I wanted to watch the battle." pouted Fox, trying to struggle against Mario's grip.

"Yeah! We'll probably just see the end of it!" complained Pikachu.

"There are more serious things to do. Be glad that those brainwashed Toads aren't after us anymore." said Meta Knight. Mario stopped walking, letting Fox go.

"It's all up to you guys now. I'm-a going back to help fight." said Mario.

"For which side?" asked Fox.

"The good side."

"Which one's the good side?"

"The one that's less evil and deadly."

"Oh yeah, the big nosed guy. Bye Mario!" said Fox, waving to the plumber as he headed back to Toad Town. Meta Knight looked up the massive hill.

"So... here lies yet another secret. I doubt that one of Giygas' cronies have got to here yet." he said.

"What about that Blooper?" asked Fox.

"No, he's probably just some random guy that likes attacking people." answered Meta Knight.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go get that secret before something happens!" yelled Pikachu. Together they ran up the hill and reached the summit. From the summit, they could see Toad Town, where Ganondorf's army and the Toads were still fighting. Fox and Pikachu tried to watch things when Meta Knight grabbed them by the necks and dragged them over to a spot, where they once again heard the weird muttering noise...

* * *

"Well, well , well. You eager mcbeavers want secrets again, don't you?" greeted Crazy Hand. They were once again in the bright clean room.

"Yeah, yeah. Just lay it on us." said Pikachu.

"Not so fast! I've finally caught onto your shennanigns, and I bet you want to take over the entire dimension, don't you?"

"What? No that's Giygas and his-" began Fox.

"**_DON'T YOOOOOOU!_**" screamed Crazy Hand. He quickly became calm once again. "Well, don't abuse your powers, and everything will be just fine!"

"...O...kay?" said Meta Knight.

"ZAPPITY ZAP ZAP!" yelled Crazy Hand, pointing at them once more...

* * *

The three regained consiousness, now knowing more than they already did.

"Wow, I did not know that Link had a crossbow training game." said Fox, drawing upon his new knowledge.

"Well, now that we have the secret, we should go back to Toad Town and try to calm things down." said Meta Knight.

"Hell yes! I hope the battle is still happening!" said Pikachu.

They went back to Toad Town to join the others, while watching Ganondorf's forces and the Toads fight with each other. Believe it or not, but the fight came to a draw. All of the Toads were knocked unconsious, and Ganon's forces had been dwindled down to a few men. Not wanting to face the heroes, who were in perfect health, they retreated as Ganondorf cursed the fact that they accomplished almost nothing. People in the Mushroom Kingdom would soon realize what has happened in Toad Town and come with assistance. All of the Toads that were affected by the Giygas air were put in a hospital for mental treatment. It would take a long time, but they'll eventually recover. Meanwhile, the dark clouds continued to spread, even covering Shooting Star Summit's starry sky. However, our heroes managed to warn everyone about what's going on and so, gas masks became a fashion statement in the Mushroom Kingdom. Unfortunately, they have not figured out how to clear the air of Giygas' evil, plus Mario's house was the epicenter of it all, but everything's okay. Probably.

Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight decided to stay in the Mario universe to rest a bit, since they've been traveling around universes non-stop. They figured that some other Smashers would go out looking for secrets. In the meantime, they stayed at Peach's Castle along with Mario and the Ice Climbers.

"So, when are you-a guys going?" asked Mario one day.

"Most likely in a few days. Besides, we need the Toad Brigade to repair their ship so we could use it." eplained Meta Knight.

"Aw... you guys are going?" whined Popo.

"Don't worry! We'll always be here, inside your arteries or something." said Fox.

* * *

Meanwhile, King Boo and his ghost army had been searching Barrel Volcano, but to little sucess.

"Sir! I'm teling you, it's not here! It's probably at Shooting Star Summit!" complained a Boo.

"This story isn't that cliche'd! Keep searching! Flip over rocks, break open walls, fly through lava, just look for the thing!" commanded King Boo.

"WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR!"

* * *

"Well men, we may have lost the battle, but we haven't lost the war... OF EVIL!" shouted Ganondorf. His minions gave a rather unethusiastic cheer. "Now, laugh with me! Laugh, for we shall invade the Mushroom Kingdom again soon! HAHAHAHAHA!" Everyone begins laughing nervously while Bowser Jr just laughed.

"I can't believe you guys got beaten by Toads!" he laughed. Ganondorf scowled.

"How was I supposed to know that they were all possessed with evil?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe if you looked at the freaking sky..."

* * *

"So, what are we going to do now?" Fox asked the others.

"We have a short time to relax Fox. For now, let's just spend what's left of our time together." said Meta Knight.

Well said hero.

Well said.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Bluh, I feel as if this is another lazy chapter. Now then readers, I have a challenge for you. If someone can make a Lucas/Ashley fan work (art or fan-fic), I would be extremely happy. ...Yes, I am currently obsessed with that ship. For some reason, I find it adorable, even though I display it as a very cruel ship in my story. Ahem, now then, for the usual questions._

_Since our usual heroes are on break, who will appear in the next chapter? GAG or Giygas and his cronies? What happened to Merlon? Do we even care? Will Ganondorf's army overthrow him? Will King Boo's army overtrow him? Will I actually eat something after slaving over this story from 5 in the morning to 8? Will Giygas' influence spread throughout the Mario universe? Do you think Mario/Rosalina is a good ship? Place your bets at Nana's Shipping Center, which holds all your shipping needs!_

_Oh yeah, and see you guys for the next chapter._


	14. We Are the Members of the Melee Crew

_Sorry about the ending of the last chapter being rushed. Now, for this chapter, there will not be any real plot other than foreshadowing for the next chapter. Expect a rushed chapter filled with nonsense, silliness, and the singing. Oh god the singing._

* * *

_Chapter 13: We Are the Members of the Melee Crew_

* * *

Alright friends. Last time our heroes secured another secret. And now, they're currently... oh right. They're taking a break. Hmm. What will I do for this chapter... Oh, let's go check on how GAG is doing.

"Top secret stuff! Stay out!" yelled Samus.

Alright, alright, sheesh. Hmm... What about the squirrels?

"We still in space man." said Joey.

"SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" yelled Andrew.

Okay, they're doing nothing either. Um... Crazy Hand?

"I EAT KITTENS BECAUSE THEY'RE HIGH IN PROTEIN YET LOW IN FAT!"

Right, staying away from him. Well, I guess nothing's going on, so I'm just going to end this chapter here.

_Ahem._

...Oh hey there Giygas. I'm too busy telling my readers that this chapter will end early due to nothing going on.

_What about me and my league of evil?_

Oh yeah. That. Well, I didn't feel like making a villain centric chapter, but I'll try.

* * *

Giygas loomed inside the conference room, where yet another evil meeting will take place. Attending the meeting was Porky, Ashley, Ridley, and Vaati; Mewtwo was too busy doing things and the other Melee Smashers were not trusted to take his place on account of, um, their insanity and King Boo was still searching for the secret.

"Why are we here? I was too busy playing Kirby Mass Attack!" complained Porky.

"I have several announcements. First announcement, this chapter is completely dedicated to us. 3000 to 5000 words all dedicated to our foolishness." said Giygas.

"Holy crap! We get fanservice!" said Porky.

"Like anyone needs fanservice from you." scowled Ashley.

"Yay! I feel loved!" cheered Ridley.

"Gasp! I must look the best for the fans! To the Vaati-copter!" yelled Vaati. He sat himself down onto his chair and lifted himself up using his wind powers, spinning the entire time. He then flings himself out the nearest window.

"...Okay, the second announcement is that King Boo is actually on the track of getting another secret, and is expected to have it by tomorrow." said Giygas. Everyone gasped.

"Woah! He's actually doing something?" asked Porky.

"Didn't know he had it in him." muttered Ashley.

"Who's King Boo?" said Ridley, remembering jack nothing of King Boo.

"He was formerly the useless sack of crap, but now he's a semi-useful sack of trash. The next announcement I have is that we have a new member in our circle. Please greet our new member, Tom Nook." said Giygas. Everyone looked around for the raccoon, but he was nowhere to be seen...

"Hello!" greeted Tom Nook, popping out from behind Ridley.

"AAH! GET HIM OFF!" he screamed, throwing Tom Nook. However, due to the effects of the Animal Crossing world, the raccoon was uninjured. Lucky bastard.

"Nice to meet you people. You see, your boss has put me in charge of funding! I'm going to spread my stores all over this dimension, making all sorts of money to fund our nefarious goals!" said Tom Nook. Giygas shook his head.

"It doesn't really sound nefarious at all coming from you." pointed out Giygas.

"...Yeah. Well, it was nice seeing the rest of you, but I need to oversee the building of one of my new stores!" said Tom Nook. Just then, Vaati floated back in.

"There we go! Now I simply look fabulou- OH MY GOD GET AWAY DEMON SPAWN!" yelled Vaati. Tom Nook couldn't be harmed, but this didn't mean he couldn't be blown out the window, which was what Vaati accomplished. "_GO TO THE BOWELS OF FLUFFY HELL FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!_"

"You'll be paying for my insuraaaaaance..." yelled Tom Nook as he fell. Everyone just stared at the window. And then they stopped caring.

"How come I'm surrounded by crazy people... Okay, and final announcement of the night, we have another member. Say hi to Jeff." announced Giygas.

"Don't you mean... JEFFBORG?" shouted Jeff. He entered the room. Apparently, Dr. Mario was serious about turning him into a cyborg. Jeff now had a cannon arm that shot witchcra- I mean magi- I mean highly sophisticated energy shots, bionic legs, and a jetpack attached to his back, as every cyborg deserves a jetpack, right? "Behold me and my sweet robotness!"

"...Dude, you look stupid." said Porky.

"Um... so! You're one to talk! You have spider legs jutting out of your back for crying out loud!" said Jeff.

"Touche."

"Alright, that's all the news I have to offer. You may go back to your normal lives." said Giygas, disappearing as everyone else rose from their chairs.

"Jeff." said Ashley.

"JEFFBORG!" insisted Jeff.

"...Fine Jeffborg. We're all going to play Four Swords Adventures, and since Vaati is too much of a pansy..."

"Hey! I don't want to play a game where I'm kicking my own ass! It's just ironic!" whined Vaati.

"...Look, do you want to play with us or not?" said Ashley.

"Sorry, but I don't play Nintendo ga-" began Jeff, however, he stopped after remembering all of the previous beatings he had gotten from insulting Nintendo. "...Okay!"

Jeff reluctantly followed Ashley, Porky, and Ridley, heading toward a recreational room where a Gamecube was set up. On the way there, they met Mewtwo.

"Hey Mewtwo! What are you doing?" asked Ridley. Mewtwo scowled.

"Giygas told me to gather the rest of the Melee guys, but all of those idiots are too busy running around." muttered Mewtwo.

"Ow! A raccoon fell on me!" yelled Roy from far off. Mewtwo's eyes lit up as he floated into the air.

"I FOUND YOU!" he yelled, flying through the window. Yup, not out of the window, but through it. As in, he broke the window and the wall surrounding it. Normally, our hero- er... villains would complain about the weirdness of that. But after spending a week or two within each other's company, anything weird is pretty much normal. They entered the room, where the Gamecube was set up in it's glorious boxy might. Porky called first player, Ashley second, Ridley third, leaving Jeffborg with fourth. They started off the game, watching the opening cutscene. Suddenly, Porky turned toward Ashley.

"So..."

"...So."

"...Look, do you like Lucas or not?" he asked.

"Wh-What!" she yelled, trying to hide the blush on her face.

"Come on, it's just so obvious." said Porky.

"Yeah! You guys look adorable with each other!" said Ridley.

"Nah, they can't be. According to most fans, Lucas is more likely to be with Ness." said Jeff. He noticed the confused looks the others gave him. "Not that I ship them or anything."

"Why the hell would you even think that? That kid is terrified of me, and he clearly hates me under all that fear! Plus, if I liked him, why would I torture him so much?" pointed out Ashley.

"...Torture is kinky." pointed out Porky.

"...Shut up." said Ashley, with a clear blush on her face.

"Shh... Forget all of this complicated shipping talk. The game's starting." said Ridley. And so they ignored all of the talk of shipping and began playing the game. Everything was going smoothly. And by smoothly, I mean playing normally while sabotaging each other for their Force Gems when they get the chance. They all had a clear playstyle: Porky just sat back and let the others do the work, Ashley ruthlessly killed everything, Ridley killed less but was more destructive, and Jeff was terrible at this. If Zelda games had a fist, it would punch him in the face for being terrible. In the face.

"Why do you keep stabbing me!" whined Jeff.

"We're not idiot. Those are the enemies." said Ashley.

"...Ugh! This is hard! Why is everything hard?" asked Jeff.

"This is still the first level." pointed out Porky.

"...Screw this! I'm out of here! This game is stupid! Nintendo is stupid! ...Oh crap." said Jeff. Everyone gave off an angry twitch. Giygas in the meantime shook his head. Why can't that idiotic nerd shut his mouth? Ashley waved her wand, closing the door while Ridley prepared to beat the ever living crap out of this boy.

"What did you say? I know you're an idiot from hanging out with Ness, but seriously?" said Porky.

"LET ME AT HIM I WILL RIP HIM TO PIECES!" yelled Ridley, lunging at Jeff.

"Oh no you won't! JEFFBORG SHOOTING MODE!" yelled Jeff, firing an energy shot at Ridley's face. They ran around the room, trying to kill each other, somehow destroying the Gamecube and TV in the process. Ashley and Porky just watched the battle from the sidelines. However, since fighting is pretty common, they decided to continue their previous conversation.

"Do you really like Lucas or not?" asked Porky.

"Why are you so intent on me and Lucas being lovers?"

"Becomes I'm tired of seeing that Ness/Lucas bull. That's stupid, and a fresh ship is good for everyone."

"But why me? Why not that pink Ice Climber girl?"

"Oh come on, no one ships that loser."

* * *

Meanwhile, at Nana's Shipping Center (you just thought that was a joke, did you?), Nana was pouring through various records of ships. She finished, looking all teary eyed.

"He's right! No one loves me!" cried Nana, resting her head down while sobbing to herself.

* * *

"...Ah."

"...That Jeff loser's actually holding up." said Porky. Indeed, Jeff only had a few scratches on him, and Ridley was taking a lot pain. Dr. Mario did a good job turning him into a cyborg.

"STOP SCURRYING AROUND AND LET ME KILL YOU!" yelled Ridley. Suddenly, the door kicked open, showing Dr. Mario, Pichu, and Roy on the other side. Jeff yelped.

"Have you forgotten that I was going to replace your eyeballs the next time you diss Nintendo?" said Dr. Mario, taking out a scapel.

"I will shock you until your heart stops!" threatened Pichu.

"Not only will I burn you, but I'm going to show you my stabs!" yelled Roy.

"...Well I'm out of here. AAH!" screamed Jeff, turning his jetpack on and flying out the window. The idiots were going to follow him and jump out the window, but Mewtwo teleported in between them.

"Guys, stop trying to kill children. Giygas has a job for us to do." he said. The rest of the Melee characters giggled with glee.

"Yay! Does this mean we get to sing the song now?" asked Pichu.

"No."

"What song? I like songs." said Ridley.

"Oh, we made a personal theme for us. See, he likes songs. Therefore, we sing." said Roy.

"That doesn't even make sense. And no, this song is stupid. Why did you even make it anyway?"

"...Pichu! Start singing!"

(The following song is Eddie Morton's "I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew". It's okay that you never heard of it. Most people never heard of it till Homestuck.)

_"I want to be popular and to unleash my sparks." sang Pichu.  
__"...I am the artificial fiend that attacks with the dark." sang Mewtwo reluctantly. Hey, he couldn't leave them hanging, could he?  
__"I always spend my evenings being a mad scientist and stuff." said Dr. Mario.  
__"But most people think our threats is just a bluff." cursed Roy.  
__"We're the members of the Melee Crew." they all sang.  
__"A doctor, a maniac, and a Pokemon or two."  
__"Always fighting in the mornings."  
__"And afternoons and nights and stuff!"  
__"Join up with evil, our ties with the Smashers are done."  
__"Kill all the Brawlers it'll be a lot of fun."  
__"Being on the evil side will never trouble you."  
__"We are the members of the Melee Crew!"  
__"Giygas was going to take over any day."  
__"So why not join him when we had the chance anyway?"  
__"Don't try to convince us to turn back just save your breath."  
__"We'll bring all the Brawlers to their deaths!"  
__"We're the members of the Melee Cre-"_

"_**SHUT UP!**_" yelled a voice. Giygas came in, looking pissed as hell. "_**I. Hate. Singing.**_ Singing is what made me lose the first time! So stop singing or I'll tear all of you _**limb from limb**_!" He turned toward Porky and Ashley. "Glad to see you two aren't singing idiots."

"'preciate it man." said Porky.

"Meh. We're surrounded by idiots regardless of if they're singing or not." said Ashley.

"Mewtwo, now that you've assembled those guys, I want you to leave for the Kirby universe immediately." said Giygas. Mewtwo saluted and forced the other Smashers to follow him, who were complaining that they didn't get a shot at Jeff. Porky and Ashley stared at the remains of the beloved Gamecube.

"...Well, I have a Kirby Mass Attack to be playing."

"I have young girl witch things to do."

* * *

"We're the members of the Melee Crew..." sang Pichu, Dr. Mario, and Roy quietly.

"Shut up already! It was only good the first time." said Mewtwo.

"Wait, what are we doing?" asked Pichu.

"That's a very good question. As you know, we're leaving for the Kirby universe..." said Mewtwo.

"Are we going to burn down Popstar?" asked Roy.

"No."

"Are we going to burn down Cappy Town?"'

"No."

"Are we-"

"This has nothing to do with fire."

"Aww..."

"Now listen up! The Brawlers are now more aware of our goals, thanks to Meta Knight, Fox, and Pikachu."

"Pikachu? _PIKACHU! MY EVOLVED FORM SHALL PAY!_" yelled Pichu.

"...So, we need to be a bit sneaky with our approach. And to help us with that, we have... this guy." said Mewtwo, reluctantly pointing to what seems to be an ordinary painting. Then Tom Nook jumped out of it, scaring the crap out of everyone. ...Yeah, I don't know either.

"Yes! It is I, Tom Nook, entrepreneur extrordinaire! I'm setting up a store in the Kirby universe; you guys will follow me there, disguised as employees! Any of those Smasher folk you're always talking about won't recognize you, so you could conduct your investigations in peace!" said Tom Nook.

"...Wow, uh, that plan actually sounds pretty good." said Dr. Mario.

"It surprised me as well. I thought this new guy would be trouble..."

"You still have to work for me." said Tom Nook.

"I know, I know. Come on, let's get going." said Mewtwo. He lead them down a corridor to a room filled with teleporters. The stage teleporters to be specific. They all jump into the Halberd teleporter, bringing them to the Kirby universe...

* * *

_Take a melody_

_Simple as could be_

_Give it some love and_

_Sweet harmon-_

"GAH!" yelled Giygas. He growled. Every time he heard a song, he would think of that dreaded melody. The melody that effectively ended him. Damn emotions getting the best of him and everything. Especially love. Love is stupid. The opposite of love is hate. Hate is the opposite of love. Hate is good, love is stupid.

_"Tear me apart! Get rid of my soul! I don't want these dumb emotions!"_

_"Lord Giygas, we find that unadvisable."_

_"GET RID OF THESE EMOTIONS! I will never rule with emotions!"_

Giygas groaned, somehow acheiving a headahce. What could this be? Could this be...a backstory? Luckily, his memories got interrupted by Porky, who decided to stroll in at that exact moment.

"Check it out! I beat the first boss!" said Porky proudly. Giygas raised an eyebrow.

"And I should care about your insignificant game why?"

"...It's a new Kirby game! Come on, everyone loves the fat pink guy." said Porky.

"...Get out." muttered Giygas. While it was just a pointless distraction, it got his mind off of those past events. ...Oh crap, now that I have typed that, he's thinking about it again. Giygas really was not in the mood for a flashback. Plus, it's fun to tease you readers. I get a kick out of it. Giygas groaned. He needs to get his mind off of things. He would write up another evaluation, but not much has happened. He did add some space for Tom Nook though. Argh... What's a villain got to do to get rid of these invasive memories? ...Yeah! That's the answer! Mindless entertainment gets people's minds off things! He quickly snatches the DS from Porky's hands.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"I... Need... Entertainment..." said Giygas. He played the game for a few mintues until he got all of the Kirbies killed. He was angered upon seeing 10 weeping Kirby angels flying away, so with a simple thought, he blew up the DS. Porky just stood there, dumbfounded.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!" yelled Porky.

"You should be focusing on your duties instead of the games of our enemies." said Giygas, not wanting to admit that he did it out of frustration. Porky left the room, cursing to himself. Suddenly, Jeff popped up from behind Giygas' throne, which actually surprised the demon.

"Is everyone gone?" asked Jeff. Admittedly, he didn't like Jeff at all. First off, he contributed to one of his defeats. Second, he's an annoying nerd. And third, everyone hates him. Which is also why he likes him.

"Yes. Now stop hiding, no one's going to kill you." said Giygas. Jeff was relieved... when he got hit in the face by a laser. Giygas was perplexed until he saw Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB stepping out of the shadows.

"What. How did you get out?" asked Giygas, who was actually curious how they got out.

"When we heard that kid, we used our own rage and anger to melt the bars." boasted Falco.

"Uh, no. We dug our way out, remember? We had to dismember ROB and use his arms as shovels." said Jigglypuff.

"CORRECT. MY BODY FAILED TO SENSE MY ARMS AND- ERROR I AM LORD ENGLISH."said ROB.

"God, can't I make us sound like badasses? Oh forget it, CHARGE!" yelled Falco, leading the others in attacking Giygas and Jeff. Giygas sighed and charged at ROB. He placed his hand on ROB's head... and electrocuted him, making the poor robot blurt out more errors. Falco and Jigglypuff distanced themselves from the abomination and went for Jeff instead. Falco tackled Jeff, pointing his blaster at his head. "You lose kid."

"Oh yeah?" asked Jeff. He points his arm cannon in Falco's face. Before Falco could even gasp in surprise, he fired. Falco flew backward, grasping his face.

"OH GOD I'M BLIND!" he screamed. Giygas finally finished electrocuting ROB, who is currently on the floor saying random symbols. He and Jeff faced Jigglypuff, who actually began crying in fear.

"Sniff... Don't hurt me please, they made me come..." said Jigglypuff.

"...Fair enough." said Giygas. With a flash of light, he summoned in Vaati, who was wearing a frilly apron.

"Oh! Giygas sir, I was baking cupcakes since King Boo won't be delivering them..." excused Vaati.

"Forget your cupcakes. These prisoners just escaped, and I'm blaming you for it." said Giygas.

"Yeah! Blaming you!" said Jeff.

"Bring them back to a cell. Preferably one that they couldn't dig themselves out of." said Giygas.

"Why didn't you put them in the one they couldn't dig out of in the first place?" questioned Vaati.

"JUST DO WHAT I SAY!" yelled Giygas.

"Yeah, do what he says!" said Jeff.

"You're not helping." said Giygas. Vaati picked up ROB, making Jigglypuff follow him and lead Falco, who couldn't see a thing at all. Giygas sighed. How come he's always surrounded by weirdos and weirdness and stuff? He took out a list of things he'll do after he takes over the Nintendo dimension:

_-Get revenge on Ninten. After that, Ness is next.  
-Give all of my minions planets to rule over. They may annoy me, but I still care.  
-Get rid of the F-Zero cars. Seriously, what's the goddamn point?  
-If that thing the others are muttering about Ashley and Lucas is true, throw a party for them.  
-Destroy all of the insignificant planets. Professor Layton, Phoenix Wright, etc not included.  
-If King Boo continues to be useless, kill him and replace him with Fawful. Everyone loves him.  
-You're next Sony and Microsoft.  
_

He then added one last thing...

_-MAKE EVERYONE NORMAL._

_To be continued..._

"Wait a minute I barely appeared at all!" whined Vaati.

_To be continued I said..._

"Please? Give me more screentime!"

_This chapter is seriously ending..._

"FOR THE CHILDREN!"

_The real end of the chapter._

* * *

It was very hard to write a chapter that had almost no plot relevance.

_I know. This chapter was horrible._

I didn't ask your opinion Giygas. So, what is this memory Giygas keeps thinking about?

_NO. DON'T REMIND ME._

Okay fine. So, our heroes will be heading to the Kirby universe next. Who will win? Our usual heroes?

_Or the Melee Crew?_

Find out in the next exciting chapter of Attack of Giygas!


	15. This Chapter Ends With a Group Hug

_The laptop I usually use to write updates got a crack in the screen, so I have to use the other one. My sister and mom is always using this laptop, so updates will be a bit slower. Also, I tried to draw the characters while I was in school. I don't have a scanner and camera pics don't do justice so I'll just tell you the results._

_Meta Knight - Easy to draw._  
_Pikachu - Just as easy. Body sometimes disporportioned._  
_Fox - Very, very hard. How is it that I'm bad at drawing canines?_  
_Giygas - Giegue form decent looking, Giygas form not very good._  
_Ridley - Looks like a terrible pterodactyl._  
_Ashley - Easy._  
_Porky - Easy._  
_Vaati - I just can't seem to get his features right._  
_King Boo - Pathetically easy, just like him._  
_Link - He looks so diabolical in blood._  
_Rest - Never got around to drawing._

* * *

_Chapter 14: This Chapter Ends with a Group Hug_

* * *

Where we last... actually, not much was accomplished in the last chapter other than the Melee cast and Tom Nook heading to the Kirby universe. Now, our heroes should be done with their break by now...

"Yes, we are well rested and ready to continue our usual shenanigans." said Meta Knight.

Okay. Let's get things done in this chapter.

"Hyper, can we not crash into the next planet we go to?" asked Fox.

Why not? It's tradition!

"It's stupid and pointless." said Pikachu.

Fine, I won't crash your stupid ship. God what is wrong with you people being ungrateful and stuff I go to school everyday while you guys lay around and stuff and stuff and...

"So, where are we going next?" asked Fox.

"First, we should see if the Toad Brigade is done fixing their ship." said Meta Knight. They leave the safety of their nice comfortable rooms of Peach's Castle and head outside. They go over to the castle's garage (it should have a garage or something) and sees the Toad Brigade diligently working on the Starshroom.

"We have to thank this Giygas guy. His clouds are blocking out the sun, preventing the rays from hitting us and making it harder for us to work." said Blue.

"ZzzzZZZ..." slept Yellow. Despite the fact that he was sleeping most of the time, he somehow contributed to most of the repairs done on the ship.

"Hey mushroom head, when will the ship be ready?" asked Pikachu.

"Um, three more days. Because of this whole Giygas deal, the ship's power source delivery will be delayed. We need a Rainbow Star to get this thing running." said Red.

"Ugh... I hope very much that everyone else is actively trying to stop Giygas in our absense..." murmurred Meta Knight.

* * *

Lucas, who had been eating Giygas dust spiked food, couldn't care less.

* * *

GAG is...

"Sorry. Top secret." said Snake.

Well damn. We'll never know what they're up to, will we?

* * *

Falco, ROB, and Jigglypuff managed to do one productive act before taking on Giygas and Jeff. What was it? The world may never know! Okay, you'll know, but shortly. Patience is a virtue.

* * *

"Kirby, look at this flyer for a new store." said Olimar, presenting a flyer that the Pikmin picked up. It was a flyer for the store that Tom Nook was setting up, and the raccoon was on the cover, except he has an obviously fake mustache.

"Nookingtons... Ooh! It has a McDonalds!" said Kirby.

"No, don't you notice something... odd? Specifically the raccoon on the cover wearing a mustache."

Kirby thought it over. "...That is one ugly mustache."

* * *

The heroes went back to Peach's Castle. Three days until the ship is fixed? Who knows what Giygas could accomplish in that time! That's when they heard the whispering...

"We're going to pounce them. _WERE MAKING THIS HAPEN._" whispered a voice.

"Stabby stab stab stabbity..." said another. However, the heroes were actually used to hearing crazy whispering voices.

"Hey, some crazy guys broke in!" shouted Fox. The voices growled as two Toads emerged from the shadows, jumping toward Fox. However, before they could scratch his eyes out, the Ice Climbers jumped in and whacked them in their faces with their hammers. The crazy Toads fell, unconsious. Taking care of crazy people was practically a chore by this time, since more and more of them came into existance as their formerly sane selves breathed in the Giygas air.

"This is why you should lock the door people!" said Popo.

"Yeah! It's taking time from my hobby of shipping people! The yaoi..._ I feed off of it._" said Nana.

"Uh... o..kay?" said Pikachu. The Ice Climbers dragged the Toads toward Toad Town, where they would be put in a nice safe asylum, where they won't be a danger to other people. They went to a comfortable living room, where Mario and Luigi sat around. They were currently watching tv, specifically Survivor.

"Ship not ready?" asked Mario, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Nope. Watcha watching?" asked Fox.

"Survivor. We're-a seeing who Bombette chooses..." said Luigi.

"I remember hanging out-a with those guys. Goombario was sort-a annoying and-" began Mario.

"SHHH!" shooshed everyone else.

"Well... the person I choose is..." began Bombette on the screen. But before she could state the name of the person she loves, a man crashes through the nearby window and crashes into the tv, sending it into the floor and breaking it's screen. Mario, Luigi, Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight weren't as angry as King Boo, but they were still fairly pissed. The man got up and they realize that the one who destroyed their entertainment source was Ganondorf.

"Hey." greeted Ganondorf casually, acting as if he did not fly in through the window. Everyone just gaped at him as he walked over to a mini-fridge ("We have a mini-fridge?" asked Luigi), raided it for a bottle of soda, and sat down, putting his feet on the table.

"...What. What are you-a doing here?" asked Mario.

"Yeah... They overthrew me. Those guys weren't in my style of evil anyway." said Ganondorf. He fished out something from his pockets. "Oh yeah, I found something for you guys." He threw a balled up piece of paper at Pikachu.

"Gee, thanks." said Pikachu sarcastically. He unfolded the paper to let him, Meta Knight, and Fox read.

**META KNIGHT. FOX. PIKACHU.**

**THE MELEE TRAITORS ARE HEADING TO THE KIRBY UNIVERSE. THEY ARE BEING ESCORTED BY A RACCOON OF SOME SORT. THE MELEE TRAITORS WILL BE IN DISGUISE. IF YOU ARE READING THIS, HEAD OVER THERE AND STOP THEM.**

**FROM ROB**

**IF THIS IS BEING READ BY A VILLAIN, I AM NOT ROB. I AM POKEMON TRAINER. PLEASE HUNT ME DOWN FOR MY MEAT ORGANS.**

"My universe? How did ROB even get this out?" wondered Meta Knight. Do not worry, I shall answer that question.

* * *

A few days ago, back to when the last chapter was taking place...

"Sorry we had to use your arms ROB." said Falco. He, ROB, and Jigglypuff had successfully escaped from their cell by digging their way out by using ROB's arms as shovels.

"DO NOT WORRY. I DON'T NEED MY ARMS TO FUNC- CITATION NEEDED." said ROB.

"What do we do now?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Let's try taking on that Giygas creep! He doesn't know we escaped yet! We can surprise attack him!" said Falco.

"But..."

"Someone needs to try! He must have SOME weakness!"

"YES, WE SHOULD FIGHT. AS ONE OF THE FORMER LEADERS OF THE SMASHERS, I MUST SET AN EXAMPLE FOR EVERYONE BY BRAVELY SACRIFICING MYSELF IN BATTLE, WHERE GIYGAS MAY OR MAY NOT RIP US APART." said ROB.

"Yeah... sort of ruining the fighting spirit here." muttered Falco.

"-the members of the Melee Crew..." sang a group of people.

"STOP SINGING! It was only good the first time." muttered a voice. The trio of escapees gasped and hid behind a collumn as their former Melee friends came into view. Luckily, they didn't seem to notice them. Suddenly, a raccoon jumped out and greeted them. They listened closely as the villains divulged their plans and walked off, went into the stage transporter room, and jumped into the teleporter to the Kirby universe.

"The Kirby universe huh?" said Falco.

"We have to warn them!" said Jigglypuff.

"WE PRINT PAPERS." said ROB as an idea came to his head.

"That's nice." muttered Falco.

"NO. THAT IS MY PLAN. WE PRINT UP SOME PAPERS TELLING WHAT THE MELEE TRAITORS ARE DOING AND THROW THEM INTO THE STAGE TELEPORTERS. CHANCES ARE, THE BRAWLERS MIGHT BE CLINGING TO THE TELEPORTER DESTINATIONS SINCE IT'S FAMILIAR TO THEM, SO AT LEAST ONE BRAWLER SHOULD GET THEIR HANDS ON A PAPER." said ROB.

"Holy crap, that actually sounds good!" said Falco.

"OF COURSE I AM A COMPUTER AFTER ALL. BLEEP. I AM A TOASTER." said ROB. They split up, looking for what was formerly the Smash Castle printing room. Jigglypuff eventually finds the room, which had become dark, gloomy, and unused.

"Is that... a giant spider web?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Forget giant spiders, let's get printing, NOW!" yelled Falco. They turn on a computer, whcih surprisingly still works. They quickly type up a message and print several copies. As the last paper printed, they heard someone walking in the hallway. ROB punched the computer, forcing it to turn off whether it wanted to or not while Jigglypuff hit the lights and they hid under the table. Porky came into the room, yawning.

"No Kirby Mass Attack, tired as hell, need sleep..." muttered Porky. He wandered over to the giant spider web and used his spider legs to climb up. Finding a comfortable spot, he goes to sleep. Meanwhile the three Smashers stared at him, due to the absurdity of it all.

"Um... What?" was the only thing Falco could think to say.

"Huh? Who's there?" said Porky, snapping awake.

"Jiggilypuff..." sand Jigglypuff. Falco covered his ears as Jigglypuff sang, putting the fat kid to sleep.

"ZZzzzzz... No sandwich, don't leave me for Ness..." snored Porky.

"QUICK. WHILE HE'S ASLEEP." whispered ROB. They gathered up all of the papers and silently moved out into the hallway and into the Stage Teleporter room. They placed one sheet of paper on each teleporter (with the exceptions of the Earthbound related ones, WarioWare, and Kirby), teleporting the paper to their destination. Soon, all of the papers were gone, the message sent.

"Well, now that that's done..." said Falco. He then made a cool pose for dramatic effect. "...we have an enemy to fight."

"I hope this doesn't go horribly wrong." said Jigglypuff.

* * *

Back to the Mario universe, in the present...

"Now me know his next move. But how are we going to get there?" said Meta Knight. Everyone tried to think of what to do. However, no idea came to them. Mario looked over to Ganondorf and noticed something shiny in a bag that he was carrying.

"Hey! What's-a that?" asked Mario.

"Hmm? This?" Ganondorf pulled out a Rainbow Star from his bag. "This is the high-quality Rainbow Star. This was among Bowser's treasure vault. I swiped it while those traitors weren't looking." Then, ironically, Pikachu swiped it from him.

"To the Kirby universe!" shouted Pikachu, jumping out the window. An awkward silence followed until Luigi piped up.

"Um, isn't this the 3rd floor of the castle?" pointed out Luigi. A splat was heard along with Pikchu's cry of pain.

"Whoo hoo! Finally! It happens to someone OTHER than me!" cheered Fox.

"Er... let's get going, shall we? It was nice to see you guys again. Tell the Ice Climbers that we said goodbye." said Meta Knight.

"Alright! Good luck!" said Mario.

"Yeah! Go fight Giygas so we don't have to!" said Luigi.

"If this wasn't for the good of our dimension, I would kill that rat." muttered Ganondorf. Fox and Meta Knight gave one last wave to their friends before leaving the castle, finding Pikachu handing the Rainbow Star.

"Perfect! We can get this thing running within the hour!" said Red, handling the Rainbow Star with care.

"Those Melee jerks are going to regret turning against us!" said Pikachu.

* * *

Meanwhile, said Melee jerks were working at Nookington's. Pichu greeted people, Dr. Mario gave out prescriptions, Roy was trying his best to not burn the place down, and Mewtwo simply examined the going-ons. They all wore a uniform, with a cap obscuring their faces. Pichu hid his ears and gave himself a tan, Dr. Mario added a beard to his mustache, Roy dyed his hair, and Mewtwo tried his best to remain inconspicuous. Unless someone looked closer at Mewtwo, no one would be able to recognize the Melee characters.

"Look at all of these customers! The money will be flowing in!" said Tom Nook. Since Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu already saw him, he wore a mustache on his face.

"So, when do you propose we look for the secret?" asked Mewtwo.

"We'll have some maps delivered tomorrow. Based on some chatter from the villagers, you could pinpoint the location of this secret." said Tom Nook.

"Hiiii!" greeted a friendly happy voice. They turned to see Kirby waving at them. Mewtwo looked freaked out, while Nook remained clueless.

"Hello little boy! What are you looking for?" he asked. Mewtwo grabbed him.

"Be careful you idiot! That's Kirby, one of the Smashers! Don't say anything that could jeopordize us." muttered the cat before letting go.

"So, what are you looking for?" asked Nook.

"Where's the poultry aisle?" asked Kirby.

"Take a left, walk down three aisles then take a right." said Nook.

"Thanks mister!" said Kirby. Before skpping off to get the chicken he so desires, Kirby looked up to Mewtwo. Mewtwo froze as the blob looked at him curiously. Had he recognized him? "Nice hat!" Apparantly not.

"Oh..." Mewtwo blew a sigh of relief. "We all have hats like this."

"Yeah, but you look so delicious when you wea- I mean, awesome! The hat totally does not look like a garnish for your delcious bod- um, bye!" said Kirby, quicky running off as Mewtwo made a disturbed face. Tom Nook examined him.

"Hmm... Actually, you do look pretty delicious." said Nook.

"Eat me and you'll die." muttered Mewtwo.

* * *

"The Starshroom's working!" shouted Purple.

"Alright. Now these buttons here..." began Blue.

"We don't need any instructions." said Fox.

"But why not? My tutorial is extremely invigorating!"

"Two of us are expert pilots. That automatically gives us the skills to pilot everything, according to fan-fic logic!" said Fox as he squeezed into the Starshroom with Meta Knight and Pikachu.

"Blue, when will you learn that no one likes your tutorials?" asked Green.

"Hey! I spent hours writing it! At least show a little interest you ingrates!" yelled Blue. He coughed. "Why... I'm so angry that I should be strangling you. In fact, I THINK I WILL!"

"ZZZZzzzzZZZ OH NO HE'S GONE CRAZY Zzzzzzzz..." snored Yellow. Blue lunged at Green, but the Ice Climbers came onto the scene and grabebd the Blue Toad's arms.

"Let go of me you rapscalions! Can't you see that I want to murder this guy and everyone else?" said Blue.

"No. Murder is not nice." said Nana.

"We'll take care of him." said Popo. He looked into the windows of the Starshroom and saw Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu within. "Good luck you guys! Hope to see you again!" The three waved as well as the Starshroom begun to rise. The Toad Brigade minus Blue shouted goodbye along with tips that was mixed with bad puns. The castle window's opened and Mario and Luigi popped out, saying bye as well. Ganondorf grudgingly waved to them. Pikachu could have sworn that he saw Merlon on the castle's roof, but that's ridiculous. The spaceship left the castle grounds and penetrated through the red clouds, heading into space.

"What now?" asked Pikachu. To answer his question, a blue ghostly apparation appeared before them. It was in the shape of a woman that looked similar to Peach.

"Follow me." said the spirit, which began to move in a random direction. The Starshroom glided behind her, seeing where the figure would take them. Soon the figure stopped and disappeared, whispering the words, "Good luck."

"...What was the point of that?" said Pikachu. His question was once again answered when a line appeared in space. Then the line curved and then widened, showing a trippy tunnel within. Behold; the creation of a plot hole.

"A plot hole? How did this get here?" wondered Meta Knight.

* * *

"Yes! I got the secret offscreen when no one was watching and without explanation! Hoooray!" cheered King Boo.

* * *

"Hey, don't question it." said Fox. They steered the Starshroom through the plot hole, hoping that it will end up in the Kirby universe. However, due to the nature of plot holes they will most likely end up there without a logical explanation. And then without logical explanation, a similar ship appeared, flying below the Starshroom, where our heroes wouldn't notice it. Now, it could be either A, the squirrels or B, one of Giygas' minions. I'll give you a minute to think of an answer.

(whispers Jeopardy theme)

If you said A, you were correct!

"FINALLY! We gettin' somewhere!" said Joey, who was bored out of his mind during the entire trip.

"Yes! After days of traveling, I'm certain that the raccoon will stop following us!" said Not Sheldon.

"Yes, and I find it unlikely that said raccoon will be on the next planet we go to." said Jefferson. "Yep. Extremely unlikely."

"Oooh! Space! Trippy space, space vortex, space friends..." said Andrew, noticing the Starshroom.

"WHAT!" yelled Not Sheldon. He pushed aside some squirrels and stared out the window. He clearly saw Fox through one of the Starshroom windows. "Curses, those guys are here." He turned toward his fellow squirrels. "Anyone up to chasing after these guys?"

"_**NO.**_" said just about everyone else.

"Okay, okay, sheesh. No need to be so loud. Well, we should still follow these guys. They might lead us to a new planet and a new home!" said Not Sheldon. The squirrels cheered. After a few weeks filled with nonsense, pointless revenge, and space traveling, they may finally find peace.

Oh they are so wrong.

* * *

Captain Olimar worked on a garden that he made himself in Kirby's front lawn. What a perfect day. Nice folk, clear skys, peaceful Pikmin. Nothing can go wrong. He saw Kirby coming toward him, holding bags filled with stuff from Nookington's. "Hello Kirby!"

"I have chiiiicken!" said Kirby cheerfully. He ran into the house, food in tow. By the looks of things Olimar and his Pikmin would enjoy a nice delicious meal. Yup. Nothing can go wrong. Whoever told you otherwise would be a liar.

And then a giant Mushroom comes out of the sky and lands on a group of Pikmin, killing at least 20 of them. Oops. I guess I was the liar. What the hell were you doing, listening to me instead of people with common sense?

"NO! Bloom, Violet, Flora, Meadow, Sunny, Rose, Flower, Bud, Indigo, Acorn, Sprout, Bean, Stalk, Sugar, Drizzle, Blizzard, Nimbus, Seed, Stem, Thorn! WHYYYY!" screamed Olimar as Pikmin ghosts rose into the air, spreading misery and woe. The door of the mushroom opened as Olimar glared, wanting to see who was responsible for this horror.

"Hello-" was all Fox could say before Olimar punched him in the snout. "Ouch! We didn't even do anything yet!"

"You.. How could you kill my beloved Pikmin..." cried Olimar.

"What?" said Pikachu, he stepped out of the ship, not seeing what he was stepping on. Small cries rang out as Pikachu stepped on another Pikmin.

"Georgia! HOW COULD YOU!" yelled Olimar, jumping up and kicking Pikachu in the face. Despite his small stature Olimar's kick packed quite a punch. Pikachu and Fox cried from their injuries as Meta Knight came out as well, careful not to step on any innocents.

"I'm sorry for your loss." said Meta Knight awkwardly.

"Well, at least one of you is sympathetic." sniffed Olimar. The door to Kirby's house opened.

"Hey, do you know- GASP! A GIANT MUSHROOM!" said Kirby. He ran toward the Starshroom, hugging it. "I love you giant food!"

"Kirby, I advise not to eat that." said Meta Knight. Kirby gasped yet again._ DOUBLE GASP_.

"META! I MISSED YOU!" sobbed Kirby, lunging at Meta Knight to hug him. Fox and Pikachu giggled at the sight of the serious hero being hugged.

"...Nice to see you too." muttered Meta Knight. Kirby gasped yet again._ TRIPLE GASP_.

"You guys are here too! How about I give all of you a group hug!" said Kirby. And so he somehow stretched his nubby arms to pull everyone into a weird and extremely awkward group hug. Five Pikmin were crushed in the process.

"Choco, Sweetie, Cane, Gumdrop, Frosting... oh how I mourn you..." sobbed Olimar.

And so this chapter ends with the best group hug ever. I warned you guys.**_ I WARNED YOU._**

_To be continued..._

* * *

_So, that's another chapter done. Wow, an entire chapter dedicated to them just trying to get to their destination. So, everything's been good for me other than the broken laptop screen. How are you guys doing? How do you like the story so far?_

_What shenanigans will our heroes get involved in yet? Are the squirrels cursed to be stuck with their shenanigans (I'll answer that, and the answer is yes)? Will Olimar avenge the deaths of his Pikmin? How much is the Melee Crew being payed, because I want to work at Nookington's. Does Nana ship Lucas and Ashley as much as me? How will the fight against Giygas go for Falco, Jiggl- oh right, that already happened. Well, see you guy's again for the next chapter of Attack of Giygas._


	16. Meta's Wonderful Failure

_Ridley popped out of the Fourth Wall, looking around for any sign of Hyper. Luckily for him, Hyper was in school. Ridley scanned the room, looking for the object Giygas asked him to get._

_"Wow, he still didn't clean up." muttered Ridley, surveying the messy room. That's when he saw it: a binder in which Hyper kept all of his story ideas. He flipped open the binder and went to a random page to see if it's the real day._

_Universal Laws - Real Life_

_1. An author's creations cannot kill or harm the author._  
_2. The creations, if they break out of the fourth wall, would eventualy be sucked back in through it, regardless of where they are._  
_3. The story cannot be tampered with. The author and only the author may change the flow of the story._  
_4. Anything that happens in Real Life is non-canon to the story._

_"Looks about right." confirmed Ridley. Picking up the binder, he approached the computer. "Huh. There's a chapter already in progress. ...Well, can't leave the fans waiting!" Ridley flew back through the fourth wall in order to join the next chapter._

* * *

_Chapter 15: Good Deals and Evil Seals _  
_Alternate Name: Okay I Just Wanted It To Rhyme _  
_Alternate Name 2: That Wasn't The Chapter's Name Either_  
_ Alternate Name 3: Neither Was That _  
_Real Chapter Name: Meta's Wonderful Failure  
Real Alternate Name: Fox is Dr. Phil_  
_ Alternate Name 4: The Absurdly Long List Of Chapter Names_

* * *

Last time, Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu were pulled into a group hug with Kirby and Captain Ollimar. And now, things will happen!

"...Okay, that's enough hugging." muttered Meta Knight, pushing Kirby away, releasing his arms from everyone.

"Awww... But hugs make the world go round!" said Kirby.

"No, that would be science running it's course." pointed out Olimar.

Meta Knight grabbed Kirby. "Kirby, this is extremely important. Do you remember where you sank the Halberd?"

"Wait, he sunk the first Halberd?" asked Fox.

"Yeah! Meta Knight turned all evil on us and tried to take over Dreamland! But then I stopped him with friends and stuff, and it sank in the ocean! Then I went to have a pizza party with my friends! Man, the pizza was delicious." said Kirby. Fox and Pikachu looked at Meta Knight disgusted that he tried to take over Dreamland. The knight looked at the ground, ashamed.

"I was going through a phase." coughed Meta Knight. "Now Kirby! Listen. Here. Do you remember where it landed exactly?"

"Nope." said Kirby, putting up a dumb smile.

"Great, this is going nowhere." muttered Pikachu.

"Hold on!" said Olimar, "Kirby, do you remember any noticeable geological sites when you sank the original ship?"

"The what in the who now?" said Kirby and Fox, confused. The small man got a frustrated look on his face.

"Like mountains or underwater volcanoes. Something of the sort." said Olimar.

"Oh! I remember! You see, I drove off of the Halberd with my Wheelie friend and landed on top of a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was beautiful, with the sunset and slowly falling ship and..." began Kirby.

"Well, we know where to start our search now." said Meta Knight. He tried to walk away, but Kirby grabbed his arm.

"Can you stay over for dinner? Pleeeease? I made chicken!" pleaded Kirby. Fox and Pikachu grabbed Meta Knight's arm as well.

"Come on, we need to eat man." said Pikachu.

"Yeah! Do it for the chicken! Everyone loves chicken!" said Fox.

"Unless said chicken head is attached to a snake body and is capable of ripping apart whole groups of your Pikmin." muttered Olimar. His remaining Pikmin trembled next to him, remembering the feared creature. Yes, they were with him in his Pikmin 2 days. They score major points for staying alive this long. Meta Knight sighed.

"Fine, we'll stay a bit. But it better be good chicken." threatened Meta Knight.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a small village near Nookington's, Pichu interviewed some villagers, hoping one of them would know anything about where the first Halberd crashed.

"I remember that dreadful ship, even if it was just years ago. I think that it crashed somewhere in Orange Ocean." said a Waddle Dee.

"Orange Ocean... right, got it!" said Pichu, having written it down on a notepad.

"Great! So where's that cookie you promised?"

"..."

"..."

"..." And without a word, Pichu ran off as the Waddle Dee complained about not getting a cookie. You see, the dark side may have cookies, but they don't have cookies for everyone. He ran all the way back to Nookington's, where they will not suspect him for his heinous crimes of not giving the promised cookie. Mewtwo snatched the notepad from Pichu and scanned it.

"Orange Ocean... Good, now we have a lead." said Mewtwo. He threw the notepad at Roy. "Here, burn this if you want."

"Yay!" cheered Roy. With a small prick of the blade, the notepad errupted in flames as Roy clapped his hands like a giddy little boy. But of course, the smoke alarms activate, which is then followed up by sprinklers. "Aw..." Then Tom Nook burst in on the scene. Along with his cleaning apron, he weilded the **_BROOM OF DEATH, IN ALL OF IT'S GLORIOUS DEATHNESS._** The customers screamed at the sight of him, running out of the store.

"Roy, did you activate the smoke alarms again? I told you that it's bad for buisiness!" yelled Nook.

"And your Broom of Death isn't?" muttered Pichu. Tom Nook responded by smacking him with the broom. But it wasn't an ordinary broom. Since Nook would be going into worlds people could actually fight in, he needed a weapon. So Giygas supplied him with an absurdly powerful broom. Pichu twitched in the crater that the broom had made.

"You guys may be my allies, but on my time, you're employees and you must treat me with respect!" yelled Nook. He turned to Mewtwo. "What's this about Orange Ocean?"

"We believe that Orange Ocean may be the place the secret is."

"Oh good! I'll supply you a map-"

"That's uncharacteristically nice of you." commented Dr. Mario.

"...for 100 Dream Dollars."

"...Wha... that's not even a real currency."

"It's in this crazy fan-fic, so it must be." Yup. Tom Nook is forcing his allies to pay for a map. What a dick.

* * *

Dinner at Kirby's house was awkward. Kirby was trying his best to not eat everything in sight, the Pikmin carried food due to force of habit, and the ceiling was too low for Fox, forcing him to crouch the entire time. But the chicken was good, and that makes everything okay, right? ...No? No it doesn't.

"Back... hurt... chicken... delicious..." groaned Fox, crouching over the dinner table while eating a chicken leg.

"Thanks! The secret were these red moving herbs I found!" said Kirby. Olimar spit out whatever drink he was drinking and examined the chicken. He saw Pikmin leaves within the seasoning.

"Why must I be surrounded by crazy, ignorant, and delusional people..." cried Olimar.

"I'm neither of those." said Meta Knight, sounding offended.

"And I'm not crazy! Do I look crazy to you?" yelled Pikachu.

"Sniff... Yes!"

"...What the hell does ignorant mean?" wondered Fox. Olimar looked over to a plate of chicken and to his horror, some of his Pikmin were eating it. He smacked the plate of chicken away.

"STOP! NO CANNIBALSIM! NO CANNIBALISM!" cried out Olimar.

"This is exactly why I prefer dining alone. Everytime I dine with other people it quickly descends into madness." muttered Meta Knight.

"Well, there was one time in the Smash Castle..." recalled Kirby.

"That was because most of the Smashers were sick that day and the rest of us didn't feel like fighting." pointed out Meta Knight. "So, when do you propose we start looking for this secret?"

"We could try looking for it in the morning. Night time is too dangerous." shuddered Olimar.

"Yeah! We could all go on a roadtrip together there! Oh my god I heard that they opened this cafe on the road to Orange Ocean and I'm dying to try it out and-" said Kirby.

"Stop. Stop talking about food." growled Meta Knight.

"Sheesh. Why are you more grumpier than usual?" asked Fox. Meta Knight stared down at his plate, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes.

"Well, it's because that the area the secret is in is at the site of my first failure. It's something that I really don't want to face..." murmurred Meta Knight. Fox hugged him.

"Aw... We're there for you pal."

"We're all there for you! Group hug time!" said Kirby.

_"NO GROUP HUGS_." snapped Meta Knight. Kirby let out a moan of disappointment. "After we sleep, we're heading out. Kirby, you need to come with us because you sort of know the location. Olimar, you may come if you wish."

"Sure! This sounds all straight-forward anyway! It's not as if anything would go wrong." said Olimar. He couldn't have picked a worser choice of words. Pikachu punches him in the face.

"YOU FOOL! NOW THAT YOU'VE SAID THAT, STUFF IS GOING TO HAPPEN!" screamed Pikachu.

* * *

"...You feel like doing something right now?" asked Dr. Mario.

"Nah." answered Roy.

* * *

The heroes all waited for something to happen, as this is how fan-fiction logic works. However, to their surprise, nothing happens. And thus they continued feasting like it's 1997.

_The End_

Did I fool you there? The series isn't definitely over yet, and I'm pretty sure that the ending wouldn't be as happy as current events. Well, as far as you know anyway. ...What was I talking about? Oh right, something about bread. Definitely bread. Ahem. I am not really a fan of bread because to me regular bread is very boring. I can't get around the taste, no matter what I use it in. Bread is as stupid as crackers. And crackers are stupid. Now, let me tell you about crackers...

"Yo idiot! Get back to the story here!" yelled Pikachu.

Oh right, that. So, while I was ranting on about bread, dinner ended and everyone decided to go to sleep. Fox laid right next to a fireplace while Pikachu curled up on the couch. Meta Knight however refuses to sleep.

"Meta, you should sleep over here... it's so warm..." said Fox.

"I don't want to sleep. In case the Melee people decides to come after us, someone must be guarding this house." said Meta Knight.

"That's stupid. It's not like someone would burst in in the middle of the night and kil us all, right?" Pikachu widened his eyes. "OH GOD NOW I SAID IT." Everyone once again waited for stuff to happen, but stuff did not happen. And so all was well.

* * *

Giygas loomed in his throne room and guess what? He's bored again. It's nighttime. so most minions would probably be asleep. He would set the Ultimate Chimeraa on Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB again, but Falco was experiencing temporary blindness, and even Giygas wouldn't set the Ultimate Chimera on someone who's blind. And he can't go purchase a DS or anything entertaining because, well, he scares everyone.

"Hey! I have a secret!" yelled King Boo, floating into the throne room.

"Splendid. Now hold still." said Giygas. King Boo stood still, expecting a happy surprise like cake or a present. Instead, Giygas painfully probed his mind and took the information on the secret. Ah, another secret is down.

"Ow... ISN'T THERE A LESS PAINFUL WAY TO DO THAT?" yelled King Boo.

"Maybe." teased Giygas. "Congratulations. You have been promoted to C rank. Whoop-dee-damn-doo."

"Hooray! Wait, what are these grades for?"

"Not telling."

"Please? You can trust me."

"No I don't. Get out or I'll give you a C minus."

_"NOOOOOOO!_ I MUST KEEP AN AVERAGE GRADE! I DON'T WANT TO BE A FAILURE LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL!" cried King Boo. Instead of floating out of the room, he flew straight out the window. Shortly later, the purple dragon pirate thing known as Ridley flew in.

"Check it out! I actually got it! All of Hyper's secrets right here!" said Ridley cheerfully, showing off the binder that he stole from my roo- HEY WAIT A MINUTE.

"Great. You are now B rank. Yaaaay." said Giygas unethusiastically. He took my book out of Ridley's hands and read through it. It contained my various ideas for my stories and drawings, most of them about Attack of Giygas. Luckily, I have not written down too many plot details just in case someone were to break through the fourth wall and steal my binder. He flipped through an entire section telling the universal laws for all of the universes, some things written down for the 100 themes spin-off, a list of possible ships that weren't already established, and-

"Hyper you fool, you've written down all of the secret locations." laughed Giygas. Oh hell. This is exactly why taking notes sucks. "Kirby Universe secret a kilometer away from a cliff facing Orange Ocean... Great Sea's secret in Forsaken Fortress... Ridley, go tell this to anyone who's available."

"Do I get upgraded to A rank?"

"Sure, why not. Just go."

"YIPPEE!" cheered Ridley, flying off in search of people. Giygas rolled his eyes and got back to reading through my binder so he may learn all of my secrets. If I wasn't so lazy, I would get up and smite his ass.

* * *

People who would come to Nookington's early in the morning would be disappointed to find that the store was closed. And on a Wednesday. Who the hell closes their store on Wednesday? So the Dreamlanders thought that this must be a holiday of some sort. However, they had no idea what holiday it was today (even though there was no holiday), so they got out birthday decorations, Halloween decorations, Christmas decorations, and various other holiday themed decorations. The people combined the decorations, creating a mess of lights and pumpkins and crap. From then on, the whatever number of Tuesday on who cares month would be known as_ Holiday Day_, which all started because Tom Nook closed his store.

As for Tom Nook and his employees/cohorts, they rented out a Warp Star large enough to carry all of them and were currently traveling on the road.

"...Orange Ocean is very wide. It would take days, if not weeks, to search..." said Mewtwo, who was currently examining a map of Orange Ocean.

"Hiya!" shouted Ridley, flying right next to them.

"AAH!" screamed Tom Nook. He turned the Warp Star, causing it to spin in circles and off the road. The Melee Crew (and Nook) screamed as the Warp Star crashed into a tree.

"...Oops. Hey, at least it didn't blow up." said Ridley. Then the Warpstar started smoking and in a few seconds, it exploded, sending the Melee characters flying in varous directions. Roy, who landed the closest to Ridley, grabbed him.

"Why..._ WHY DO YOU SAY THINGS?_" yelled Roy.

"I propose we rip out his vocal cords!" yelled Dr. Mario, dangling from the top of the tree.

"Wait! Don't shoot the messanger!"

"We have every reason to shoot the messanger!" yelled Pichu.

"Is this really how your life is?" asked Tom Nook, turning to face Mewtwo, who was laying on the ground as well.

"Yes. You just have to try and deal with it." muttered Mewtwo. He turned to Ridley. "Why are you here Ridley?"

"Oh! I have information on the exact location of the secret here!" said Ridley. I doubt you'll find it. The location of the secret is a killometer away from a cliff, which sounds so vague that I doubt you'll find it. "Of course we'll find it! You included a picture, remember?" Woah wait, I did? "Yeah, it was printed and stuff!" ...I didn't know I had a printer.

"Yes you do. We saw it in the corner of your room when we came over for the AOG: 100 Themes Introduction." said Mewtwo.

...Huh.

* * *

Despite saying that he wanted to defend the house, Meta eventually succumbed to fatigue and fell asleep. It wasn't a pleasant dream. It was a memory of his foray into villainy and first failure, with his grand ship crashing into the ocean. Ever since then, the opinion on him has split. One side still thought Meta Knight was pretty badass, one was completely terrified of him, and one pointed out that if he was so badass, how did he fail? Suddenly, the scene switched to the Smash Castle, which was Giygas free. The Smashers were either scared of Meta Knight or hated him. The villains however laughed at his failure. Luckily, this did not happen in real life as the Smashers were either too crazy, ignorant, or delusional to bother finding out about Meta's past. Then an image of Giygas came up, laughing at him and then-

"Uh, Meta? Are you okay?" asked Fox, poking the puffball swordsman.

"No... don't leave me guys... I'm ashamed for this and I'm sorry..." muttered Meta Knight in his sleep.

"That's not how you wake people up Fox. Allow me. Ahem." said Pikachu. He then let out a thunderbolt, electrocuting Meta Knight and waking him up.

"Oh... sorry guys." said Meta Knight, who did not feel like getting revenge for the unnecessary electrocution.

"Is this about your failure again Meta?" asked Fox.

"...Maybe..."

"Is this character development? Hyper! We want character development too!" yelled Pikachu. Oh you will. Soon you shall feel the angst of a thousand buffaloes as they are hunted down and feel rotten like onions. You shall soon face character development. Soon... "...Hyper, you've been sounding weird lately..." Oh, well I'm angry about something. But it's plot relevant, so if I told you, it would be a spoiler. So no. ...My, I'm been chatty lately. I think I'm going to go and watch Black Lagoon or Soul Eater... "...You do that."

"Hey! I know how I can help!" said Fox.

"...How?" asked Meta Knight.

"Therapy!" sang out Fox. With a snap of his fingers (I've been reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, okay?), Kirby's house transformed into an Oprah or Dr. Phil type set up. Fox and Meta Knight sat in chairs facing each other, while Pikachu, Kirby, Captain Olimar, and the Pikmin sat in the audience.

"...The hell." said Pikachu, observing his surroundings.

"Ooh! Is this on tv?" wondered Kirby.

"This... this doesn't make any sense. How does one change reality at the snap of his fingers?" asked Olimar.

"Oh. Since the author left to watch anime, he's leaving us to do whatever we want to do! I combined that fact with my creativity and willpower to create this! As long as he doesn't come back, I can do whatever shenanigans I want!" said Fox, ending his surprisingly smart speech with maniacal laughter.

"...I'm starting to think that Fox is the most clever person in our group." muttered Meta Knight.

"I has awesome!" shouted Fox.

"...He's doing a good job at hiding that." observed Olimar.

"Hey everyone! Today, I'm going to help my friend, Meta Knight, conquer his fear of facing his failures! Give a round of applause!" said Fox. Kirby and half of the Pikmin applauded, while everyone else remained confused as hell. "So Meta, tell us about this failure."

"Well, I tried to take over Dreamland. Then I failed and my ship crashed. That's all I have to say on the matter." said Meta Knight awkwardly.

"Okay. And... um.. what was the result of this..." said Fox, clearly reading things from a book on therapy.

"People became frightened of me, while some has mocked my failure. It is rather embarrassing for a knight of my status..."

"Uh huh... I know what your problem is. You see, everyone thinks that you're the most kickass thing in existence, which had an effect on your ego."

"I do not have an eg-" complained Meta Knight.

"Shoosh shoosh shoosh... Everyone has ego or pride. I have a pride for my flying, and everyone knows that Pikachu has a big ego!" pointed out Fox.

"...True..." muttered Pikachu.

"Then, after this failure, your ego took a severe hit. Everyone formerly thought you were high and mighty, but now some people were ashamed of you, causing your ego to drop. You have let this thing hang over your head, like a mopey rain cloud that rains mopiness. Mopey mopey angsty. But now, you must scare away the mopey cloud! You must accept your failure! Everyone accepts their failure!"

"Yeah! Remember that time I rampaged through Dreamland for a shortcake? Yup. Good times." said Kirby.

"After having a Pikmin die in battle, I would blame myself for it at the end of the day. To have innocent lives wasted by my hands..." Olimar then burst into tears as his Pikmin offered him tissues.

"I never failed." said Pikachu.

"Really? Say, how about we go watch some Pokemon episodes later? It'll be a nice nostalgia trip..." joked Meta Knight.

"...Cough, I'm good."

"See Meta Knight? Everyone has failed at one point, and they accept it._ cough_Except Pikachu_cough_... So just accept your failure!" said Fox.

"...Actually... you're right. I shouldn't let this failure hang over my head! I should just accept it!" said Meta Knight.

"Yeah!" said Fox.

"I...I... actually feel better. Thank you Fox. You did a surprisingly good job at being a therapist of some sort."

"Great! I thought reading books would teach you nothing, but it did!" said Fox.

"Wow! We all learned something today! Meta learned to accept his failure, Olimar learned that Pikmin acts as good seasoning, Fox learned the value of reading, Pikachu learned that Fox could break reality, and I learned rationalism from that Harry Potter fan-fic! Hooooray!" shouted Kirby. He then grabbed everyone into yet another group hug, this time not crushing any Pikmin in the process.

"We'll find the secret! We'll beat Giygas! We'll do anything! Nothing can go wrong!" cheered Fox.

Then some stage lamps fell on top of some Pikmin in the audience as reality shifted back to Kirby's house. Olimar tried not to cry again.

"Rock... Revy... Dutch.. Benny... Balalaika... Hansel... Gretel... Garcia... This is my fault for letting you sit in individual seats..." cried Olimar.

"We should get going now! Who knows, the Melee cast may be on their way to getting the secret! Let's go!" said Meta Knight in a cheery tone.

"Look how I inspired him. I'm so proud..." said Fox. And so our heroes left Kirby's house, ready to head to Orange Ocean and find the next secret.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_That was a nice episode... huh? Fox hijacked my story and turned it into Oprah? Argh! Well, at least he solved Meta Knight's problem. So, time for my usual set of questions... which I left in my binder. Great._

**_Don't worry, I have it right here. I already have all the information I need._**

_Oh thanks. But Giygas... what the hell are you planning?_

**_A good villain doesn't reveal his secrets._**

_Come ba- and he's gone. Let's just forget about him. So, is Fox really as dumb as you readers and pretty much everyone else is lead to believe? Will Ridley get an A for Giygas' evaluation? What is Giygas' evaluation for anyway? Will Holiday Day be a success? Why are a lot of my favorite characters psychotic children? Who will get the secret first? Do you want the Season 1 DVD of Dr. Fox? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	17. Orange Ocean

_Oh dear, what is Giygas going to do... so anyway, anyone here read Homestuck? The End of Act flash just released, and it's beautiful. I suggest you head over to MS Paint Adventures or Newgrounds and check it out._

* * *

_Chapter 16: Orange Oc- **WAAAAAAAA**_

* * *

_...What was that? Alright, let me try that again._

* * *

_Chapter 16: Orange Ocean_

* * *

Last time, our heroes were going to set out to Orange Ocean. However, Meta Knight was too busy angsting over his failure to take over Dreamland. Thanks to Fox, who somehow broke reality, he managed to set Meta Knight straight. Pikachu got no development though because he's a loser and losers don't deserve character development.

"HEY!" yelled Pikachu.

Also, at the same time, the Melee Crew and Tom Nook were also heading to Orange Ocean. Before they could get there though, Ridley came in and ruined their day. So now they got no ride. Which is... a good thing I guess? ...Oh right, they're the villains, so this is a good thing.

"Sorry about your Warp Star." said Ridley, awkwardly staring at the wreckage of the Warp Star and his cohorts, who were strewn all around the place.

"Wait, I just got an idea." said Dr. Mario.

"Does this involve painful surgery?" asked Mewtwo.

"Never mind..."

"Hold on! I have an even better idea! We use Ridley to fly to Orange Ocean!" suggested Pichu. Some people nodded in agreement.

"Whoa wait! I can't carry all of you guys!" whined Ridley.

"Well you should. Because of you, I have to repay the rental place for the destroyed Warp Star." said Tom Nook. The raccoon pushed himself up and took out his broom. Ridley raised his eyebrow. Does he have an eyebrow? The world may never know.

"Is that a broom?" asked Ridley. Nook answered his question by smashing his face in, slamming Ridley into the ground. For the next five minutes, the Melee Crew watched in delight as Tom Nook ran after Ridley, swiping his death broom at the dragon-thing. Eventually though, Ridley got tired, allowing Tom Nook to catch up. Before he could get smacked across the horizon, Ridley quickly exclaimed, "Okay, I'll carry all of you!" Ridley grumbled to himself as everyone except Mewtwo (who could float) piled on top of his back. They were heavy, but he managed to move around with them on his back.

"Go faster!" yelled Pichu, repeatedly hitting Ridley on the head.

"You guys are mean." muttered Ridley.

* * *

Fox, Meta Knight, Pikachu, and Captain Olimar waited for Kirby to return with a Warpstar so that they could head to Orange Ocean together. Before Kirby came back, Meta Knight decided to brief the others.

"Alright, we have to be more careful. I can only feel that things just get harder from here." said Meta Knight.

"So what? We'll just turn into trophies anyway. No real danger." said Pikachu.

"That's not the case anymore. Have any of you read that rule book Master Hand handed us at the start of the tournament?" said Meta Knight. The others tried to recall what happened to their copies of the book.

"My Pikmin carried it to my ship. I'm pretty sure my boss has sold it by now." said Olimar, feeling pretty embarrassed.

"I sold mines too." said Pikachu, unashamed.

"Uh... I used mines for target practice." said Fox, also feeling embarrassed.

"Seriously? Are Peach and I the only ones who read the rule book?" said Meta Knight. Everyone else stared at him awkwardly. "Well, you see, trophyization only worked when the tournament was still going on. But now that the tournament is over, we can't turn into trophies anymore. We have to rely on the universe's extra life system in order to come back to life. I never got around to telling any of you this because I had previously underestimated Giygas. But after the whole episode in Toad Town, I feel that I should tell you now."

"Alright, hold on. During the tournament, I could pull out Pikmin at will. Does this mean...?" said Olimar.

"Yes, no more Pikmin. You have to go to your own universe to get them." said Meta Knight. Olimar, despite feeling saddened by the deaths of his Pikmin, thought they were expendable. He looked at his remaining Pikmin and realized that he only had 20 left; 4 Pikmin of each color. He let out a cry and hugged his Pikmin.

"Don't worry! I'll protect the rest of you!" sniffled Olimar.

"**_WAAAARPSTAAAAR!_**"

Kirby flew toward them on a Warp Star, flying at high speeds. Everyone screamed and dived out of the way as Kirby flew in. Unfortunately, all of the Purple Pikmin were slow as hell and weren't so lucky. Kirby smashed into them, killing them instantly. Tears flowed down Olimar's face as the small captain screamed in terror.

"NOO!" screamed Olimar. He turned around and punched Meta Knight.

"Hey, what was that for?" asked Meta Knight.

"The moment you say that my Pikmin are no longer expendable, they die!" cried Olimar.

"Technically it happened after you said you would protect them." pointed out Pikachu. Olimar realized this and continued to cry. His remaining 16 Pikmin gathered around him, trying to cheer him up. Kirby in the meantime scratched his head, not realizing what he did.

"Did I do something wrong? ...Oh whatever! Come on guys! We have secrets to find!" said Kirby cheerfully.

"Uh... I think we have to leave Captain Olimar here. I think he might be a..." said Pikachu, looking at the weeping captain.

"Liability?" suggested Fox.

"Yeah, that's the wor- wait, do you even know what the hell liability means?"

"Nope."

"My Pikmin... don't worry, I'm here to protect all of you... I-I mean it this time..."

"...Yeah, it's best if we leave him here." muttered Meta Knight. The three heroes got onto the Warpstar along with Kirby, trying their best to ignore Captain Olimar's sobs. The Warpstar rose up slowly into the air... and then shot across the sky in a blur. The heroes screamed, trying to hold on for dear life while Kirby giggles like a little boy.

"Whee! Come on guys, say whee with me!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" screamed Fox.

"That's not 'wheee', but you're getting there!"

* * *

Somewhere over Orange Ocean, Ridley flew through the air uneasily, searching for the correct cliff to search from. Mewtwo flew beside him, glossing over the map of the area as well as the photo.

"Hmm... The cliff over there looks like the one in the photo..." said Mewtwo.

"Yeah, but so does the one over there!" said Roy.

"Uh, there's something flying toward us." muttered Ridley, spotting something in the distance. Everyone else ignored him though. Meanwhile, the object in question happened to be a flying Warpstar that was being ridden by four heroes. Due to the speed of the Warp Star, everyone on it only saw a blur, so they didn't notice the villainous group.

"WHEE!" yelled Kirby, still enjoying the chaotic ride.

"Do you feel like something bad will happen?" asked Fox.

"We're dangling off a high-speed flying star that's being piloted by a childish pink blob. Oh, and we're hundreds of feet from the air. What do you think?" said Pikachu sarcastically.

"Guys?" said Ridley, still trying to grab everyone else's attention. Unfortunately, they continued to ignore him, plus it was too late to fly out of the way without getting injured. He gulped. "I regret nothing."

The Warp Star crashed into Ridley, blowing up in his face. It's proven fact that half of the vehicles in my story will end up exploded or totaled. The Melee Crew (Mewtwo excluded), Tom Nook, Meta Knight, Fox, Pikachu, and Kirby screamed as they fell out of the sky, splashing into Orange Ocean. Mewtwo managed to grab Ridley before he could fall with everyone else.

"Ow... thanks..." said Ridley.

"Why don't you go look for a Maximum Tomato and heal up? I have some things to take care of." said Mewtwo. He let go of Ridley after he was sure that Ridley was strong enough to fly and descended into the water in order to look for the heroes.

* * *

_Pikachu - Pichu_

"Urgh..." groaned Pikachu. He got up and breathed the... air? Wait no, he was breathing water. He touched his face and discovered a snorkel on it. Perhaps going in the water spawns a snorkel on your face. He looked around. Alright, there's some kelp, there's some coral, there's Pichu, ther- oh crap.

"PICHU!" yelled Pichu, slamming into his evolution, sending him flying backward. Pikachu, taking advantage of the fact that they were in water, flipped in the water and landed on his feet.

"Ouch... Great, I get to fight my de-evolutionized form. I would have prefered fighting that crazy doctor guy." muttered Pikachu.

"What? Am I not good enough for you to fight?" said Pichu.

"No."

"ARRRRGH RAAWR I'LL KILL YOUUUUU!" screamed Pichu, circulating electricity through his body... and electrocuting himself since they were in the water. Pichu, now somehow covered in ash, fell over in shock. Ha, get it? Because shock and electric Pokemon and oh forget about it.

"Yup, not worth my time." said Pikachu smugly, walking off in search of the others.

* * *

_Kirby - Meta Knight - Roy_

"Are we there yet?" said Kirby.

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we-"

"WE'RE ON THE OCEAN FLOOR AND WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING!" yelled Meta Knight. Through Kirby's goggles, he saw that tears were forming in his eyes.

"You... you yelled at me!" cried Kirby. Meta Knight tried to hush the crying puffball.

"No, no I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at- " Meta Knight was interrupted when a rock got thrown at his head. He turned around and saw Roy, holding his sword and several rocks to throw. "The Melee characters are here too?"

"Yeah! And we're here to kick your ass!" yelled Roy. He hurled several rocks at the two puffballs. Kirby stopped crying, took a deep breath, and blew, unleashing a geyser that stopped the rocks in their tracks. Roy roared, taking out his sword and striking it against Meta Knight... doing nothing.

"What? No! Where's my fire!" cried Roy.

"We're underwater. Your sword can't produce flames here." said Meta Knight.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" cried Roy, continuing to strike at Meta Knight with his sword, hoping that he would just somehow burst into flames and die. Meta Knight, blocking the hits with his mask, wasn't affected very much and most definitely did not spontaneously combust.

"Your attacks are useless against me underwater." said Meta Knight. "Oh yes, and look out behind you."

"How stupid do you think I- URK!" yelled Roy. He collapsed to the ground, revealing that Kirby had smashed his head in with a rock.

"Yay! That was easy!" cheered Kirby.

* * *

_Fox_

"This was a triumph, I'm making a note here, huge success..." sang Fox uneasily. He was following the sounds of fighting earlier, but it seems that the fights ended, as he no longer heard anything. "Man, the ocean is creepy..." He continued to walk when something caught his eye; something was shining in a pile of kelp. "Ooh! Ocean treasure!"

"Hands off Waluigi's treasure!" yelled a voice, smacking Fox's hand away from the shining object. Waluigi revealed himself, carrying a bag full of loot.

"Waluigi? What are you doing here?" said Fox.

"Well, Waluigi snuck into your castle when Giygas attacked, and Waluigi decided to fight him to be a hero!"

"Even I know that's stupid."

"Yeah, Waluigi not a good planner. So, on the way there, I meet two children, but it turned out they were villains. So Waluigi ran for his life, jumped into a teleporter thing, and ended up in this universe." explained Waluigi.

"Uh... okay... and you're here because...?"

"There's so much loot at the bottom of the ocean, especially in the giant ship wreckage." said Waluigi. Fox gasped. Could it be?

"Hey, can you take me to the ship wreckage?" said Fox.

"No. All of the treasure there is for Waluigi because Waluigi says so."

"I don't want treasure. Can you just take me there?"

"Hmm... only if you get Waluigi to be a fighter in the next tournament."

"Uh... deal." said Fox, handshaking with Waluigi while knowing that there's no way that would ever happen.

"Very well then! Follow Waluigi! Waaaaa..." said Waluigi, trotting off while Fox quietly followed after him.

* * *

_Dr. Mario - Mewtwo_

Mewtwo floated through the water, searching for the heroes. He was definitely sure that they were the ones that crashed into Ridley. He never really had a chance to destroy them back in the Animal Crossing universe, but now, since they can hurt each other, all bets are off.

"Hey Mewtwo, down here." called out Dr. Mario, having gotten impaled on some coral. Yes, he got impaled on coral. "Oh, can you grab my medical saw over there?" Mewtwo floated over to a bushel of seaweed and retreived a medical saw for the mad doctor.

"What do you need this for?" inquired Mewtwo, coming over to help Dr. Mario get off the coral.

"Oh, well, my left leg feels a little numb, so I plan on cutting it off for a bionic one." said Dr. Mario. Mewtwo shook his head.

"Dr. Mario, first off, your leg will recover. Two, there's no need to replace your leg, and three, there's no materials here to actually build a bionic leg, so you would probably bleed to death." said Mewtwo.

"Oh I get it... you want a bionic leg too, huh?"

"I can fly. I don't need you to turn me into a damn cyborg."

"But... medical saw... it needs to cut..."

"You may get your chance. The people who crashed into us were Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight. They're our enemies, so I won't have a problem with you hacking their limbs off."

"Yay!"

"No making them part robot afterward."

"Aww..."

* * *

_Pikachu - Meta Knight - Kirby_

"Yo Meta Knight!" yelled Pikachu, coming out of an underwater cave. Meta Knight and Kirby, who had their weapons out, lowered them and greeted the mouse Pokemon.

"Glad to see you Pikachu. Have you seen Fox around?" asked Meta Knight.

"No. But we better find him quick because-" began Pikachu.

"I know. We crashed into the Melee cast in the sky and now they're after us."

"I smashed Roy's head in, hee hee."giggled Kirby.

"What a comforting thing to say." snarked Pikachu.

* * *

_Fox - Waluigi - Tom Nook_

"...and so Waluigi got to be a villain in this dancing game. Waluigi wanted to hypnotize the world with sick dance moves..."

"Uh huh." said Fox. He had stopped listening to Waluigi's tales and antics about five minutes ago.

"Hello, anyone here?" called out a voice. Tom Nook came down a passageway, looking around. He spotted Fox and Waluigi, going over to them, not recognizing Fox as one of the enemies. "Hi, have you seen a large cat, a pyromaniac, a yellow adorable thing, and a doctor around here?"

"Nope." said Fox, not realizing that he was referring to the Melee Crew. Plus he failed to recognize Tom Nook. In fact, Pikachu and Meta Knight wouldn't remember him either because they just assumed he was insignificant.

"Oh, okay." Nook was about to turn and leave when he saw a shiny object in Waluigi's hands. "Ooh, that looks valuable. May I take it off your hands for 5000 Bells?"

"7000." said Waluigi.

"6000."

"What are bells?" asked Fox. Nook faced Fox. He remembered seeing him before...

"And who might you be?"

"I'm Fox, legendary leader of Star Fox, part time Smasher, and part time chocalate salesman." Fox narrowed his eyes. "The chocalate thing never works out, because I somehow end up with less money than I started with."

"Oh, a Smasher? Well in that case..." Tom Nook swung his broom, hitting Fox and sending him flying. He faced Waluigi. "Hold on, I have something to attend to." He ran over to Fox and swung the broom like a golf club, making Fox spiral upward. Since Nook can't reach him from up there, Fox took out his blaster.

"Ha! Bet you didn't expect this, didn't you!" gloated Fox. He fired his blaster... and got electrocuted since the blast was partly electric. "Ouch, that sucked." Fox looked down. He was almost in Nook's swinging range. He gulped. "Oh crap."

"Sorry I have to do this, but Giygas told me to hunt down the Smashers. If I don't listen to him, he won't franchise my store!" yelled Nook. He swung his broom as Fox yelped. Fox did the only thing he could do in his situation: activate his reflector. The broom collided with the reflector, causing it to rebound. Nook widened his eyes as his own broom hit him in the head, hammering him into the ground and rendering him incapacitated.

"Ha ha, I win!" mocked Fox.

Waluigi saves the day again!" cheered Waluigi.

"What! You did nothing other than sit and watch!" yelled Fox.

"Whatever! Follow Waluigi!" said Waluigi, walking off again. Fox rolled his eyes and prepared to follow him... but before he did that, he turned around, kicked Tom Nook in the head, and ran off.

"I liked it back in my universe where I don't get hurt..." moaned Nook.

* * *

_Pikachu - Meta Knight - Kirby - Fox - Waluigi - Mewtwo - Dr. Mario - Pichu - Roy_

"Do you see anyone Kirby?" asked Meta Knight.

"Hmm... Seaweed... fish enemies... Gordos... Waluigi... water..."

"Wait, Waluigi?" said Pikachu. Waluigi emerged, with Fox following him.

"Hey guys! I just met Waluigi earlier and he's going to lead us to the secret!" yelled Fox.

"Okay, but why is Waluigi here?" asked Pikachu.

"Read the spin-off." Waluigi leaned over to Pikachu. "Waluigi got to be the main hero for once."

Pikachu pushed Waluigi away. "Don't breathe in my ear ever again."

"Well, strength in numbers I suppose. Waluigi, you may lead the way. Pikachu, since you're the one who appears to have more health than us, you follow closely behind him." said Meta Knight.

"But... but he's weird!" whined Pikachu. To prove his point, Waluigi picked his ear and pulled out a radish.

"We all have to make sacrifices. Besides, being around him clouds up my focus, and I must remain focused considering that I'm the one who carries the group a lot of the time." said Meta Knight. Pikachu kicked Meta Knight in the shin ("Meta Knight has a shin?" wondered Fox) and followed Waluigi, being careful not to stand too close to him. They walked for a few minutes, not making any noises other than Waluigi's "WAA"-ing. Soon, they arrived to the ruins of a ship. A giant wing laid in disrepair while the main body of the ship sat nearby, gathering rust. Although some things were different, it still pretty much looked like the Halberd Pikachu and Fox knew. Meta Knight swallowed his pride, trying to face his failure head-on.

"...Wait, didn't Meta Knight rise the Halberd in Kirby: Squeak Squad?" pointed out Kirby.

...Oh shit, I forgot about that. Okay, look, that game wasn't all that important. In fact, the whole plot of the game was Kirby rampaging through the country for a goddamn shortcake while he gets into encounters with a gang of mice. We can all forget that, right?

"NO." yelled the Squeak Squad, suddenly appearing.

You guys aren't even minor characters, so forget you. So, our heroes and Waluigi was staring at the ship when...

"CHARGE!" yelled Mewtwo. He lead the Melee Crew in an attempt to attack the heroes. They had actually caught up a while ago, but while Kirby was too busy pointing out the continuity inconsistency, they came up a plan. Their plan was the attack the strongest in the group and then pick off the others. Waluigi was actually the strongest in the group, but since he was a weirdo, he was ignored for Pikachu, who was second-strongest. Mewtwo started things off with a shadow ball, throwing it into Pikachu's chest while he was off-guard. As Pikachu flew backwards, Dr. Mario took advantage of everyone's surprise, ran behind Pikachu, and kicked him into the air. Pichu jumped up, holding a rock.

"Not worth a fight, eh?" said Pichu. He smashed Pikachu's skull in, sending him downwards. "HOW ABOUT NOW!" Pikachu gasped and sputtered from the pain. Meta Knight realized the symptoms: he had only one life and was in the process of dying. I'm not sure how you could tell that, but Meta Knight did that, so yes. Roy rose his sword, ready to finish off the Pokemon when Meta Knight dived in, blocking the sword with his own.

"Kill my friend, and I won't hesitate to spill your blood and spread it all over these waters." said Meta Knight. Roy gasped, authentically scared for once. Meta Knight tripped Roy and ran over to Pikachu. Fox was already hunched over him, poking Pikachu.

"Are you still alive?" said Fox, poking Pikachu.

"...Yes... Stop poking me already..." muttered Pikachu.

"His health is low, if we don't restore it..." said Meta Knight. The situation looked hopeless for Pikachu: Kirby was the only one fighting the Melee Crew, but he had a hard time fighting them off without having to dodge psychic attacks, sword swings, medical saws, and flying Pichus. Eventually, one of them would ignore Kirby and go finish off Pikachu... but if Fox and Meta Knight leave with Pikachu to look for food, Kirby would probably end up dying instead (assuming he had only one life). That's when something poked Fox's foot.

"Oh hello?" said Fox. He looked down to see Captain Olimar. "Oh cool! A Captain Olimar action figure!"

"I'm not an action figure Fox."

"And it comes with real talking action!"

"...Guys, go ahead, help Pikachu, and find the secret. I'm going to try and buy you some time." said Olimar. He looked at the Melee Crew to see if anyone noticed him, and fortunately, they didn't. "I'm sorry for skipping out on you guys earlier. But now I'm here to do my part."

"Thank you Olimar. Fox, help me carry Pikachu." said Meta Knight. They pick up Pikachu and head toward the Halberd, hoping that it contains supplies. Olimar turned toward the Melee Crew, who were in the process of trying to kill Kirby.

"Hey!" yelled Olimar. The villains turned.

"Ooh! Someone smaller than me!" said Pichu.

"Let's squish him!" said Roy.

"Hold on, I have something for you." said Olimar. With a blow of his whistle, four Blue Pikmin carried in what looked like a toy with a skull painted on it. What kept the Melee Crew from attacking Olimar was their curiosity. The Pikmin ran back over to Olimar as Kirby realized what the object was.

"Bye!" said Kirby in a cheery tone. He punched the toy and ran off. The Melee cast was going to give chase when the toy got up, revealing that it's the Bomber enemy, and said Bomber was reasonably pissed. It ignited itself...

"We regret nothing." said Mewtwo. The Bomber blew up, sending the Melee Crew flying in multiple directions as Kirby and Captain Olimar cheered while the Pikmin gave each other high-fives. Waluigi in the meantime just scratched his head.

"So, Waluigi's going to be in the next Smash tournament, right?"

* * *

The inside of the ship was dark, but completely devoid of water. Fox was glad that he could use his blaster again and that they don't have to wear those magical snorkel masks or whatever.

"Yay, I'm not useless!" cheered Fox.

"Fox, focus. If I recall there should be a supply room down that hallway. Take a right and then a left. Hopefully there should be some supplies that weren't destroyed." said Meta Knight. He turned to head the other way. "I'll try searching for the secret, good luck."

"Okay! Don't worry Pikachu buddy, in my capable hands, you'll have a decent-ish chance of living!" said Fox.

"Wait, decent-_ish_?"

* * *

_Meta Knight_

Meta Knight is thinking of where the secret should be. It must have been on the ship before the crash, so where could it be?

"If I were a secret, what would I look like?" thought eta Knight to himself. Hmm... usually important things in video games would be inside chests or at alters, but there were neither of those in the Halberd as far as Meta Knight could remember. Let's see... sometimes important things would be like a magical sword or a crystal...

Meta Knight widened his eyes. Perhaps the secret was within the odd crystal he used to power the Halberd's generator. It was a long shot, but it was worth checking into.

* * *

_Fox - Pikachu_

They managed to reach the supply room without a hitch. Fox put Pikachu on top of a table.

"Stay here, you'll be alright... Don't worry things will be okay..." said Fox, checking some cabinets. Pikachu then noticed some tears coming out of Fox's eyes. "I won't screw up, things will be okay..." Aw, he was worried for Pikachu. That's what best friends are for, right? Things seemed peaceful as Fox looked through things, getting increasingly more desperate as he continued to find nothing. That's when they heard something coming from above...

"_HERE'S RIDLEY!_" yelled Ridley as he came crashing in through the ceiling, a geyser of water following behind him. Pikachu was too weak to fire an electric bolt at him, and Fox's blaster probably won't be enough. Despite this, Fox ran through the room, tripping over water as he fired hopelessly at Ridley, who wasn't very affected. "Before I rip you to shreds, what did you think of my sweet entrance?"

"It was pretty cool and... FOUND IT!" said Fox. He pulled out a Maximum Tomato from a drawer in triumph. "Catch it!" Fox threw it towards Pikach, whom Ridley didn't notice. Pikachu bit into it as strength returned to his body. Ridley tried to scrape Fox with his claws, but Fox pushed him under the waterfall, which was starting to flood the room.

"CHUU!" yelled Pikachu, unleashing a thunder-bolt into the waterfall. When the electricity wasn't shocking Ridley, it was traveling up the waterfall, where it would fall down and shock Ridley again. Basically, Ridley got trapped in a cycle of getting shocked. In layman's terms: IT KEEPS HAPPENING.

"Ow." said Ridley. He then fell over, not bothering to move.

"Whoo hoo! Teamwork wins again!" cheered Fox.

* * *

_Meta Knight_

Meta Knight found himself in the destroyed generator room, where the remains of a crystal sat in a destroyed container. Meta Knight's suspicions were confirmed as he heard whispering noises from the crystal. Meta Knight tried to remember where he got it in the first place... but failed. Was it destiny that got him the crystal which would supply the crystal many years later? Probably. Destiny tends to be the answer to a lot of things. Meta Knight climbed up the container, sat in the remains, and focused...

* * *

"OH MY GOD IT'S A MIDGET." said Crazy Hand. Once again, Meta Knight was standing in the pure white room facing the crazy God that's more or less a liability to the heroes. Did most of the heroes know what liabilty means? Probably not.

"Crazy Hand, before you give me knowledge again, can you explain the orgins of that crystal?" asked Meta Knight.

"The guys upstairs told us to leave it for you to find!" explained Crazy Hand vaguely. He snapped his fingers... and a desk appeared out of nowhere. He applied glasses to his fingers before going to sit behind the desk. "Before I can teach you the secret, I have to see if your permits are in order."

"...Huh?"

"Your permits. Your mask would do just fine."

"...Why my mas-"

"I JUST WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE OKAY. GOSH IS THAT TOO HARD TO UNDERSTAND." yelled Crazy Hand. Meta Knight reluctantly complied, throwing his mask off and revealing his face to Crazy Hand. "Aww. YOU'RE AS ADORABLE AS A SOCK PUPPET."

"Glad that you see it that way. Now give me my mask." snapped Meta Knight.

"GAAAASP. Such language is not tolerated in my household." said Crazy Hand, wagging his finger in Meta Knight's face.

"...I'm starting to not like you."

"NO ONE LIKES ME FOR I AM THE BEST TROLL EVER!"

"I thought the best troll is Andrew Hussie."

"Poe-ta-toe, toe-ma-toe, SAME THING. NOW YOU LEARN THINGS! BEHOLD!" yelled Crazy Hand.

* * *

Meta Knight was consious again with his mask fully intact. He looked up to see Fox's smiling face.

"I have good news and bad news!" said Fox. "Good news is, Pikachu is all better now!"

Meta Knight raised his eyebrow, although Fox didn't see it. "And the bad news?"

"Ridley came over and is regrouping the Melee Crew to destroy us all. Yeah, we're doomed anyway." frowned Fox.

"It was fun while it lasted, right guys?" said Pikachu nervously.

"Hey, I hear them over here!" shouted Pichu from the hallway.

"Can I hack off their limbs?" asked Dr. Mario.

"Sure, why not." muttered Mewtwo. Then they heard a loud bang from the hallway along with the confused voices of the Melee characters and Ridley (chewing on a Maximum Tomato from the supply room).

"AHHH GIANT FOOD!" screamed Ridley.

"Oh for the love of-" complained Mewtwo, but a clanging sound was heard, so whatever it was that came in, it knocked into him. The door burst open, revealing the Starshroom, which Olimar was piloting. Kirby waved at them through the window as a hatch opened up.

"Come on guys!" shouted Kirby. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu quickly ran in as the angry Melee cast and Ridley came in. The Starshroom flew back through them, knocking them over.

"Quick, we have to go after them!" said Pichu. He, Roy, and Dr. Mario got onto Ridley's back, expecting another ride. "Mush!"

"Do you really expect me to catch up to them with all of you on my back." muttered Ridley.

"Maybe." said Roy.

"Hey, how can everyone forget about Waluigi?" said Waluigi, coming in randomly.

"Easily." muttered Mewtwo.

The Starshroom navigated through the hallways and then went into the supply room, and flew up through the hole Ridley made earlier, popping up from the top of the ship and through the water, reaching the surface. The Starshroom flew over to a cliff as the sun began to set. Kirby recognized where they were immediately. "Hey, this is the cliff! I remember standing over here, and the sun was setting, oh, and your ship was sinking-"

"Don't remind me." muttered Meta Knight.

* * *

Despite failing to kill the heroes, Mewtwo found and gained the next secret. Yeah, you could all thank Crazy Hand for that. The disappointed Melee Crew and Tom Nook (Ridley decided to report back to Giygas to see what grade he got) went back to Nookington's and reopened it. They learned that a holiday called Holiday Day was going on yesterday, but they refused to comment on the absurdity of such a holiday existing. Eventually, the Melee Crew would head back to Giygas while Tom Nook hired real workers. Until then, they were still in disguise working for Tom Nook.

"Welcome to Nookin-" greeted Pichu, but he stopped when he noticed that the customers were Meta Knight, Pikachu, and Fox. "Go die in traffic."

"Rude." muttered Fox. Luckily for the Melee Crew, their disguises were good enough to fool even Meta Knight (or perhaps he wasn't paying attention). As they trotted off to buy supplies they would need for the next universe they would go to, Pichu pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"Hey guys, Pikachu, Meta Knight, and Fox just walked in. What do we do?" asked Pichu.

"Maintain your disguises and don't do anything funny. Now, everyone say 'here' if they didn't ignore me to go fight them." said Mewtwo over the walkie-talkie.

"Here." said Nook.

"Here." said Roy.

"Here." said Pichu. They waited for Dr. Mario to respond, but he didn't. Pichu heard Mewtwo facepalm over the walkie-talkie.

"Damn it Dr. Mario." muttered Mewtwo. Meanwhile, Fox was looking at a display of furniture when Dr. Mario approached him.

"Hello. You look sort of pale sir." said Dr. Mario.

"I do?"

"Sure."

"Oh my god am I sick?" said Fox.

"Probably. But don't worry. If you follow me, I'll give you some free... surgery." said Dr. Mario menacingly, pulling out a scapel. Fox sweatdropped.

"Um... do I really need surgery to cure sickness?" said Fox nervously. Dr. Mario didn't want to answer that. Instead, he decided to let slicing do the answering... but then Mewtwo hits him in the back of the head with a baseball bat, knocking him out cold.

"Sorry about him. He does that." muttered Mewtwo. Fox said nothing and instead walked off to join Pikachu and Meta Knight, who were absorbed in a catalogue of things to buy.

"Where were you?" asked Meta Knight, not looking away from the catalogue.

"Some doctor tried to kill me." said Fox nonchalantly.

"Cool. So, do you think we should get wallpaper for the Starshroom?" said Pikachu.

And so they continued shopping as if nothing had happened.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Well, that's another chapter done. So, what do I talk about..._

**_WAAAA_**

_HOLY HELL HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE WALUIGI._

**_...I'm Waluigi!_**

_...That's nice._

**_Why don't you love Waluigi? How come you didn't give Waluigi more appearances? Why wasn't Waluigi important? Waluigi needs the screentime he deserves!_**

_Look, you lead the heroes to the secret, so that was a pretty important role. Now go back into the story and be a weirdo. Anyway, as Kirby was kind enough to point out, the Halberd was risen in Kirby: Squeak Squad, and I completely forgot about that until now. Let's just say that a wizard caused this and move on with life. So, will the Pikmin death toll continue to rise? Will you go to Nookington's? Will you become a member of the Melee Crew? Why aren't you watching that flash like I told you? Will I ask questions that are actually relevant to the story? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	18. Time and Space Shenanigans

_Hey guys. I've been thinking it over, and I've decided to rewrite the first two chapters. After all, the first impression's the best impression, and I don't want people to think that this story is stupid. Then again, this is pretty stupid._

* * *

_Chapter 17: Time and Space Shenanigans_

* * *

**4:00 PM**

"Vaati, do you know what the hell this is about?" asked Porky. Porky walked along with Vaati, Ashley, and Lucas, heading toward the meeting room they have been meeting in for several weeks.

"I'm not sure to be honest. I think we're finally going to kill King Boo." said Vaati non-chalantly.

"About time. If we are going to kill him, who do you think will replace him?" said Ashley.

"Maybe Fawful. N-not that I care about this though..." piped up Lucas.

"Yeah! Fawful would be awesome to have!" agreed Porky.

"Meh. Fawful is too loud and obnoxious." disagreed Vaati. The group walked into the meeting room, which was filled with their fellow cohorts (minus Link), who were equally confused. Then, coming to answer their confusion, red clouds filled the room as Giygas' cat-like body entered the room. Almost immediately, he got bombarded with questions.

"Why are we here?"

"Is this about the community rec room?"

"Can I borrow some money?"

"Are we finally killing King Boo?"

"Why do you all want me killed?"

"Is this about my cannibalism?"

"Do we have a new objective sir?"

"Wait, what's this about cannibalism?"

"_SILENCE!_" yelled Giygas. All talking and chattering immediately ceased. "Good. Now, as you may know, I have called you all here..."

"We know that captain obvious." snarked Porky. Giygas twitched his eye in annoyance. He strided over to Pichu, picked him up ("Hey! What are you doing!"), and chucked him at Porky at high speeds. "Ouch! Okay, sorry!"

"...Anyway, I have called you all here to make some announcements. First off, the operation in the Kirby universe was a success. So please praise Mewtwo to help his low self-esteem." Everyone congratulated Mewtwo on a job well done. Mewtwo on the other hand wondered since when did he ever have low self-esteem. "Second, because of this, we have only two secrets left fo find." Giygas appeared to be deep in thought. "I can feel the location of the center of the universe, I just need the last two secrets to piece it all together. So, I decided to thank all of your hard work with a bit of a feast." With a snap of his fingers, several buffet tables appeared, all full of food. No one wanted to touch any of it though.

"Is this poisoned?"

"Is it spiked with Giygas dust like I did with Lucas' food?"

"Did you cook this yourself?"

"Are there any vegetarian options?"

"Is this meant to solve my cannibalism?"

"Who's the cannibal here?"

"_**BE QUIET OR DIE!**_" yelled Giygas. "Don't worry, I did nothing with the food and there are vegan options. Also, whoever's the cannibal here, please stop. Cannibalism is frowned upon by everyone. Almost as frowned on as Jeff."

"Hey." said Jeff. "And the name's Jeffborg!"

"Whatever. So, all of you gorge yourselves in celebration of our eventual conquering of this dimension!" said Giygas. Everyone cheered except for Lucas, who had no reason to be happy.

"Why do you insist on t-taking over this dimension?" said Lucas. All eyes were suddenly on him. "There is nothing to rule over. Eventually, all worlds will fall apart at the seams as all of your hard work will become meaningless. In the end, it will all be a sad, pointless existence that will be destroyed. Happiness? Ha, there's no happiness. You won't be happy after conquering the dimension. The only thing left to do afterward is to destroy the dimension yourselves, giving it a much needed mercy kill. ...That's my opinion anyway." said Lucas.

Ashley was silent and was secretly concerned for Lucas' well being. Porky felt as if this was his fault (which in fact it was). Giygas was secretly impressed by this. Vaati was disturbed. King Boo and Ridley's happiness was crushed. Jeffborg tried to factor Lucas' speech into rationality and was ultimately stumped. Mewtwo began to drink some punch and pretended this didn't happen. Pichu didn't hear because he was knocked unconsious after Giygas threw him. Roy cheered himself up by setting something on fire. Dr. Mario happened to be the thing that was set on fire and was running around screaming. Tom Nook took his fill of food and left these weirdos to their devices. Lucas, although depressed looking, smiled faintly during all this.

"Uh... I don't know what to say about that... Just what did you do to him Ashley?" asked Vaati.

"He was like this before his sanity started decomposing. Besides... I blame Porky." said Ashley, pointing at Porky.

"What! How is Lucas becoming a creepy sociopath my fault?"

"You made his life hell, remember?"

"Yeah, but you're making his life even hellier!"

"One, I'm doing it because it's fun. Second, hellier's not even a word."

"Shut up!"

"Idiot."

"Psychopath!"

"Fat-ass!"

"**_SHUT UP!_**" yelled Giygas. "You guys go eat. I'm going off by myself because having all of you in the same room gives me headaches." said Giygas. "And will someone please extinguish Dr. Mario? The smoke is getting overwhelming." Jeff-borg covered Dr. Mario with the punch, extinguishing him yet annoying everyone else, who wanted to try out the punch. After they forced Jeff to test the food, everyone deemed the food safe and started digging in. Ashley stopped Lucas before he could get any food though.

"Lucas, how about you go home and get some rest?" suggested Ashley.

"...W-Why?" said Lucas.

"I can tell that you haven't been sleeping recently..."

"...I-I haven't spent my nights c-crying if that's what you're i-i-implying."

"...Lucas, I need you to be energetic, alert, and not depressing people with speeches. I'll save you something, so just go." said Ashley.

"...Yes Ashley..." said Lucas, turning to leave.

"Hey Jeff, you should tag along with him. Since Ashley's here, someone has to guard her secret from those meddlesome heroes." said Vaati.

"But... I want to eat..." whined Jeff-borg.

"And I don't l-like him." said Lucas.

"No one likes him." pointed out Ashley.

"Yes, but someone trustworthy has to guard the secret, and I doubt that Lucas will do it for you." said Vaati. Ashley reluctantly nodded and sent Lucas on his way with Jeff, both of whom were clearly annoyed with this arrangement.

* * *

**9:00 PM** (of the previous day)

Bringing food home from Nookington's, Fox, Meta Knight, an Pikachu were treated to a delicious victory meal cooked by Kirby (which, thankfully for Olimar, did not contain Pikmin flavored herbs). Afterward, they went to have a good night's sleep before blasting off into space to search for the new secret. Kirby, having woken up to get a midnight snack, decided to check up on them.

"Yay Krystal, you've left Slippy... oh god, now you're in love with Peppy. Why won't the nightmares end?" moaned Fox in his sleep. Kirby was mildly amused by this comment and went over to Meta Knight.

"...I'm not letting this haunt me anymore... go away you damn bullies..." said Meta Knight. Kirby was surprised that someone actually had the balls to bully Meta Knight, but then again, it was just a dream. He went to see what Pikachu had to say in his sleep.

"...Thunderbolt! ...Ha, those Team Rocket losers are blasting off again... You're my best pal Ash..." said Pikachu.

"D'aaw..." said Kirby. Unfortunately, Pikachu was a light sleeper and woke up, pissed that Kirby was eavesdropping on his dream. Kirby tried to run away, but Pikachu shocked him into unconsiousness. Grumbling to himself, Pikachu left Kirby on the floor and continued to sleep.

* * *

**9:05 PM** (still the previous day)

"Now this is a place we could live in." said Not Sheldon. The squirrels have landed in a nice grassy plane that lies right next to a vast forest. It was a lovely night with the moon shining up ahead as a cool breeze flew through the air. Only Andrew had something to complain about.

"Space. Why can't we just live in space?" complained Andrew.

"Shaddap Andrew. Back in space, we had all sorts of bull to deal with." pointed out Joey.

"Yes, and now we can live in peace!" said Not Sheldon. All of his loyal squirrels cheered alongside him except for Jefferson, who stumbled upon a rolled up paper.

"Ugh, littering." muttered Jefferson. He went over to the paper and unrolled it, eyes widening. "Uh... sir? You might want to take a look at this." Not Sheldon strolled over to him and looked at the paper. It was a poster for Nookington's, and Not Sheldon wasn't fooled by the raccoon's mustache.

"...Oh no. EVERYONE! RETREAT!" yelled Not Sheldon. He and the squirrels reluctantly piled back into their ship, while Andrew was highly enthusiastic.

"Yay! More space adventures!"

* * *

**4:05 PM** (back to the current day)

After walking through the WarioWare stage transporter, Lucas and Jeff emerged into Diamond City. Red clouds darted the sky and the city looked noticeably grim and dark.

"Lovely place." sarcastically remarked Jeff.

"Heehee... I k-know, right?" said Lucas, not catching on to his sarcasm. He lead Jeff through the streets of Diamond City, passing by all sorts of people on the way. There were misreable people, crazy people, people that looked like someone slipped a potion in their water supply, and a combination of the above. Eventually, Lucas brought Jeff to the road that lead to the WarioWare Inc company building.

"So I just go this way?" asked Jeff. He growled. "I am Jeffborg, and I demand you say my name properly!" Yeah yeah, don't quit your dayjob.

"Yes. A-A-Ashley locked the secret in a vault in her office. Now if you excuse me, I n-need to go home and r-rest..."

"She's not here you know. You don't have to sleep." said Jeffborg. Lucas just smiled.

"I have to do what sh-she said. There's no hope for me. There's no hope for _anyone_." Lucas trotted off down a different road, leaving Jeffborg all alone.

"What a downer." muttered Jeffborg. He walked down the path, heading for the company building when he saw something streak across the sky. "What the..."

* * *

**10:00 AM**

"Krystal? Are you finally coming back to me? Awww... your hug's so warm..." said Fox in his sleep.

"I know it is." said Kirby. Fox opened his eyes and screamed, seeing that Kirby was hugging him the entire time. He threw the puffball away and got up.

"Kirby! It's rude to hug people in their sleep ya know!" yelled Fox.

"But I like giving hugs!"

"I do too, but do it when I'm awake please!" said Fox. Since he's already awake, Fox decided to stumble over to the kichen to get something to eat. Meta Knight and Pikachu were already up and was looking over some papers. Fox looked over Meta Knight's shoulder. "Ooh! Watcha doin'?"

"We're thinking of what secret we should go after next. We are arguing whether we should go to the WarioWare universe or your universe." said Meta Knight.

"We ruled out the Wind Waker universe for now. I'll be a bitch to explore, and not even Hyper is finished with Wind Waker!" said Pikachu. "And you'd think that with all of the time he wasn't writing this story, he would be playing that game."

_AAAAAHHHHHH! SHUT UP. SHUT UP OR I WILL **DEVOUR YOUR SOULLLLL...**_

"Yeah yeah, don't quit your dayjob." muttered Pikachu. He turned back to Fox. "Okay Fox, you're the tiebreaker. Pick your universe. At least we'll know where the hell we're going if we go there."

"What about the WarioWare universe? The most dangerous thing there is the general weirdness that goes on. And considering that weird things happen everywhere we go, it wouldn't be so bad." said Meta Knight, taking a sip of some coffee.

"What about Waluigi's vote?" said Waluigi, suddenly appearing at the table. Fox and Pikachu fell over, suffering from heart attacks while Meta Knight was shocked enough to spit-take his coffee. Pikachu got up, growling and circulating electricity.

"Will you get out of here!" yelled Pikachu.

"Heart... not breathing..." moaned Fox.

"Waluigi cannot leave! Waluigi didn't get the screen time he was promised!" I never promised you anything Waluigi. "Yeah, but Waluigi deserves more! Besides, Wario took Waluigi to the WarioWare pocket universe. Waluigi knows his way around. I will help if you make Waluigi a Smasher and give him more screen time!"

"I have to say, it's pretty tempting." admitted Pikachu.

"Take the offer..." wheezed Fox on the floor.

"Then it's decided. We're all heading to the Wario Ware universe." announced Meta Knight. The door creaked open as Captain Olimar and his Pikmin came in, carrying tools and covered in rocket fuel.

"The repairs on your ship is completed. It's ready to take off." said Olimar. He glanced at Waluigi and frowned. "How did he get in here?"

"We don't know." said Pikachu nonchalantly.

"Shenanigans." said Waluigi vaguely.

"...Guys... I think I really did have a heart attack..." moaned Fox.

* * *

**4:13 PM**

"Damn it Andrew! This is why you shouldn't tap dance!" yelled Not Sheldon. Somehow, Andrew's tap-dancing caused their ship to flip the hell out and crash land in the WarioWare Universe. All of the squirells looked at Andrew, drawing guns and taking out claws to scratch his eyes out.

"Sorry, but I wanted to space tap-dance." said Andrew.

"There's no such thing as space tap-dancing!" yelled Jefferson.

"I say we teach 'im a lesson." said Joey, pounding his fists.

"Yeah! I'm tired of your supid space ramblings Andrew, but today, we'll have our revenge!" said Not Sheldon. Before anyone could start beating on him, they noticed a human slash cyborg thing standing above them: Jeffborg was examining them curiously.

"Amazing... talking squirrels." said Jeffborg. He picked up Not Sheldon and looked around his body, looking for a speaker or anything.

"Hey! Put me down!" yelled Not Sheldon.

"No. Now that I've seen you squirrels, I must capture you... _IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!_" said Jeff-borg dramatically. All of the squirrels screamed and shrieked; they didn't like the prospect of being locked in a cage and examined.

"Oh god run!" yelled Jefferson.

* * *

**12:00 PM**

Everyone was prepared, it was time to go. The supplies have been stored and the Starshroom was up and running. Kirby and Captain Olimar waved as their dear friends (and Waluigi) got on.

"Bye guys! I hope we spend time together soon!" said Kirby.

"Stay safe, save he world, remember to brush your teeth!" said Olimar.

"Sheesh, you don't have to act like a mom." said Pikachu, rolling his eyes.

"Hurry up! Waluigi wants to watch Survivor after this!" yelled Waluigi.

"Okay, just stop being impacient." said Meta Knight. He waved back to Kirby. "I'll see you soon Kirby. Keep training in case a villain attacks Popstar while I'm gone."

"Okay! Bye Meta Knight!" said Kirby.

"WAIT!" yelled Fox. "Don't you realize it? This is a perfect time for a group hug!" Fox jumped down from the Starshroom and grabbed Kirby, Olimar, and his Pikmin, careful not to crush any of them. Meta Knight and Pikachu shrugged and joined in. The hug only stopped when Waluigi attempted to join in. Afterward, they all got into the Starshroom and blasted off into the sky, leaving Kirby and Captain Olimar behind.

"Alright, let Waluigi fly!" said Waluigi, pushing Fox out of the pilot's control seat.

"Hey! What do you know about flying?" said Fox.

"What do you know about anything else?"

"Good point." said Fox. They decided to just let Waluigi fly for awhile. However, Meta Knight stepped in when it became apparant that Waluigi had no idea where he's going.

"Waluigi, where are you trying to go?" asked Meta Knight.

"Waluigi's looking for plot hole he made from appearing in your kitchen." said Waluigi.

"Oh, I se- wait, how do you know about plot holes?"

"Shenanigans."

"Oh, is that it over there?" said Fox. He pointed at a whirling purple spot in the middle of space, which was ominously sucking in every molecule that existed beside it.

"...How did we miss that?" said Pikachu. The Starshroom suddenly lurched as the odd plot hole sucked them in...

* * *

**7:00 AM**

A man dressed in gentleman's clothing and a young boy dressed in blue walked through a London neighborhood when the boy noticed something in the sky.

"Look professor! A giant mushroom!" said Luke, pointing at a giant mushroom in the sky.

"A mushroom? That reminds me of a puzzle!" said Layton.

"Oh wait, never mind, it's gone." said Luke, witnessing the mushroom disappear.

"Something disappearing? That reminds me of an extrordinary puzzle my dear boy." said Layton. Luke groaned and banged his head against a wall, hoping that someone would kill him.

* * *

**?:? AM/PM?**

The Starshroom reappeared in a vast dark place with bits of red. At first, the occupants thought they were inside Giygas but realized that the bits of red were land masses.

"This is weird." said Fox.

"It was a plothole that Waluigi made. What do you expect?" said Pikachu. Suddenly, a horrible shrieking noise was heard as what looked like a giant white jellyfish rose up. "OH CRAP WE'RE IN THE MINECRAFT WORLD. We have to get out of here!" The jellyfish screamed, spitting a fireball at the Starshroom.

"Waluigi hates this place." muttered Waluigi. Luckily for them, the Starshroom disappeared again before the fireball hit.

* * *

**3:00 AM**

The Starshroom reappeared over a green planet, directly above a green manor. In the sky they could see a black planet and a pink moon.

"Hyper, can you explain what's happening?" asked Meta Knight.

Well, I was starting to get worried about Giygas, so I decided to mess with the plot holes so they randomly teleport people places. Don't worry, I'll fix it.

"Oh, and you won't get rid of the plot holes entirely?" said Pikachu.

Hey, I'm not a miracle worker.

"Look, there's two people fighting down there." said Fox. On the manor roof, a man and a woman were facing each other down, with the man shooting the woman with an odd gun. Suddenly, the universe shook as a blue light converged down. "This doesn't look good." The Starshroom once again disappeared, avoiding the destruction of the universe.

* * *

**3:30 PM**

After traveling through many different universes, including Mexico, the Starshroom reappeared for the last time.

"Mexico was fun." said Fox, shaking some maracas he took as a souvenir.

"Is it over?" asked Meta Knight. Oh yes, you're finally in the WarioWare universe. Just look out the window.

The heroes looked out the window, expecting a wacky and colorful planet. They were shocked and surprised to see that it was covered in red clouds.

"Well, that sucks." said Pikachu.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go or something!" said Waluigi, taking the controls. They attempted to tell Waluigi not to fly toward the red clouds, but it was too late: Waluigi was heading toward the planet at high speeds. It was impossible to stop it now. And they couldn't stop the Giygas clouds from pummeling the crap out of the Starshroom.

* * *

**4:05 PM**

Giygas sailed through his own clouds, thinking of what to do other than go to the buffet and hang out with the idiots. Then he got a brilliant idea: let's terrorize a random world! You know, for fun! So he searched through space and managed to find a plot hole. He sailed through, wishing for the plot hole to bring him to the Pikmin universe or some other universe that was easy to conquer. However, he ended up in a boring universe, where blocks fell out of the sky and... this isn't the Kirby universe.

"_**HOW THE F*** DID I END UP IN THE TETRIS UNIVERSE?**_" yelled Giygas.

_To be continued..._

* * *

Well, that's another chapter wrapped up. As I said, I plan on rewriting the first two chapters so I could leave first time readers with a good impressi-

_YOU! EXPLAIN THIS!_

Oh, hi Giygas. Explain what?

_I WAS RANDOMLY TELEPORTING FROM UNIVERSE TO UNIVERSE! DID YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING THE MY LITTLE PONY UNIVERSE IS!_

Ponies are tight.

_**YOU'RE MISSING THE DAMN POINT!** WHAT DID YOU DO?_

Oh, I was starting to worry that you might win in this story, so I messed with the plot holes a bit to give the main characters an advantage.

_YOU... YOU..._

Nuh uh. You can't hurt me, remember?

_WELL HOW ABOUT THIS?_

Argh! My room! Now I have to clean everything!

_Yeah. Have fun._

Stupid Giygas... so anyway, what will happen in the WarioWare universe? What will Jeff do to the squirrels? Will Waluigi keep being weird? Why is Lucas so creepy? Did I get good grades for my first quarter? Will I stop writing this chapter to actually eat something for breakfast/lunch? Will Lord English destroy these universes as well? Is space tap-dancing real? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!


	19. Drinking's Not For Kids

_I am aware that I haven't remade the first two chapters yet._

_I'm also aware that Halloween is over yet only a part of my Halloween fic is done. Don't judge me._

* * *

_Chapter 18: Drinking's Not For Kids_

* * *

Giygas was jumping from universe to universe, getting more annoyed by the second. If he could, he would kill me in a heartbeat. But he can't so hah. In your face Giygas!

"**_YOU STUPID BRAT! SINCE I CAN'T TOUCH YOU, I WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE ROOM AND TURN ALL OF YOUR GODDAMN VIDEO GAMES INTO ASH!_**" yelled Giygas.

"Woah! How'd you get here?" asked Ridley. Giygas looked around and saw that he was suddenly back in the castle, with everyone looking at him, equally confused.

"The author is trying to even the playing field by tampering with the plot holes." growled Giygas. He turned toward his minions. "While I'm here, you can have this crate of wine I stole from France." The adults cheered while the children looked curious. He threw a crate of wine (somehow not breaking anything) at Vaati. "You're in charge of this. Now screw you people."

"Mine!"

"Pass me a bottle."

"Yay! Drunkness!"

"Is this made of blood? Do you know about my cannibalism?"

"Seriously, who's the cannibal?"

"Oh no." said Vaati. Ashley and Porky attempted to grab some wine during all of the confusion. "You're much too young to be drinking this. You'll get drunk, and only adults can get drunk off their asses."

"Hey! We're more mature than other stupid kids! We deserve a drink!" complained Porky.

"You may deserve it, but I have standards to uphold. You're not ready to experience the delicious aroma, the fine texture, the fun you'll have trying to climb up stairs without falling... Oh wine, you're so amazing..." described Vaati.

"Describing it in detail will only make us angrier." growled Ashley.

* * *

_3:45 PM_

After flying around aimlessly through the darkness and getting pummeled, the Starshroom crashed (boy I love to crash things) in a middle of what used to be a nice happy meadow, which is now burned and destroyed. The main trio crawled out of the wreckage, while eyeing Waluigi, who felt no shame for this whatsoever.

"So, can Waluigi be a Smasher now?" asked Waluigi.

"First chance we get. We ditch him." muttered Pikachu to the others. Surprisingly, both Meta Knight and Fox nodded.

"Can we just kill him right now?" asked Fox.

"Fox, how could you say such a thing?" asked Meta Knight, horrified by Fox' response.

"I dunno." shrugged Fox. "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

"You guys want to go to Wario's workplace, right? Then follow Waluigi! Waluigi probably remembers the way!" said Waluigi. Leaving the meadow, Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu followed Waluigi into the city. They could definitely see Giygas' influene affecting the place, with the misery and crazyness and the like. They were attacked by at least 15 different people, and they couldn't tell if they were just normal pick-pocketers or crazy pick-pocketers that not only wanted to steal your money, but their lives. At some point, a few minutes after 4:00, they witness a ship falling out of the sky.

"Who do you think is in there?" asked Pikachu.

"I don't know, but they're probably not important. Besides, we must focus on getting the secret quickly before anything bad happens." said Meta Knight, "And of course knowing the flow of the story, bad things will happen."

Are you saying that my story is getting predictable Meta?

"What? No, I-"

Do you want me to throw you up into the sky and throgh a plot hole, sending you through a bizzare journey through my warped mind?

"Oh crap I think he's serious." murmured Pikachu.

Yes, yes I am! After my lazy spiel, I now have the energy to smite your asses and actually do a decent job at hindering Giygas. Be grateful you ungrateful bastards!

"I think he's losing it." said Fox. Almost immediately, a lightning bolt descends from the sky and fries him. "Ouch... Okay, I'm sorry..."

"...Who are you guys talking to?" asked Waluigi, who lacked the power to hear me. Or maybe I didn't want to talk to him. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that it's the latter.

* * *

_4:55 PM_

"Stop running! You're the last one!" yelled Jeffborg. Not Sheldon ran as Jeffborg tried to blast him. He had brought all of the squirrels to some laboratory named, Crygor Labs. Not Sheldon saw Jeffborg taking Jefferson, Andrew, Joey, and the other squirrels to a dark room, and so far, none of them came out. Not Sheldon theorized that either: they were turning his comrades into fruit, eating them, both, or sending them to the moon. Nevertheless, this place is dangerous and he has to get the hell out of here.

"You won't catch me you damn scientist!" yelled Not Sheldon. He weaved over and under objects, easily dodging Jeffborg's shots. Okay, he's at the door. All he has to do is pull down the handle...

...Which he can't reach. Not Sheldon cursed and pulled out a gun, trying to use it to pull down the door handle. Suddenly, the gun is pulled away and a hand grasps him: Jeffborg caught him.

"What are you going to do?" asked Not Sheldon, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Science." said Jeff vaguely, while smirking.

* * *

_4:30 PM_

Once again, Waluigi had no idea where he was going. However, he managed to find the WarioWare company building soon enough... which was only just a few blocks away from where they started.

"Here we go, welcome to WarioWare! Now if you excuse Waluigi, he must break into a house and watch tv. Bye!" said Waluigi, walking off and then actually breaking into a house, much to the surprise of the resident inside. Yep, we're definitely not seeing him ever again.

"Good riddance." muttered Pikachu. They walked up to the door and tried to open it, but saw that it was locked. Fox decided to ring the doorbell. Then again. Then again. Then again.

"This is fun!" laughed Fox, repeatedly tapping the doorbell. While he was doing that, he failed to notice that the door opened up... and he also failed to notice the baseball bat hitting him in the head.

"Screw you people! I may work for Ashley, but that doesn't mean you guys can stroll in here anytime and bother us!" yelled a woman wearing a long coat and biker gear.

"Woah! Cool it lady, we're not here to bother you!" yelled Pikachu.

"Oh... oh wait, oh god I'm sorry! I thought you were Ashley's associates and... are you okay?" asked the woman.

"Erg... Where's the leak ma'm?" said Fox.

"Come in, I'll try and get your friend some medical help. My name's Mona, it's nice to meet you. I-I guess." said Mona. She lead the trio inside, with Meta Knight trying to support Fox. Some paintings of Wario were laying on the ground, and in their spots were paintings of a young girl. This imediately grabbed Meta Knight's attention.

"If I may ask, who's the girl in these paintings? Is she a relative of Wario's taking over while he's gone?" asked Meta Knight.

"No." Mona's expression turned into a scowl. "That's Ashley. She's one of the employees here. Several weeks ago she got the bright idea to take over the company with the help of some demon called Giygas or something." Pikachu gasped.

"She's with Giygas? Are you sure? She looks a little creepy but..." said Pikachu, unsure.

"Ashley's a spawn of the devil. That's all I have to say." muttered Mona. "Hey, who are you guys anyway?"

"We're friends of Wario's from the Smash tourney. We've been traveling from universe to universe to secure things called Dimensional Secrets and reach the center of the dimension before this evil demon Giygas does and takes over." explained Meta Knight.

"Dimensional Secrets? Well, there is something important that's being guarded in that horrible witch's room, so maybe it's that." said Mona.

"There's a hole in the world like a giant black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with..." droned Fox.

"...Oh right, your friend. Once again, so sorry."

* * *

_4:30 PM_

"Alright Ashley. Our pride has been beaten by some possibly gay man. We deserve every right to drink! We're villains too!" complained Porky.

"Well, even though I agree that we're too young to drink the stuff, I really don't see why we can't drink." agreed Ashley.

"Right! So, I got some kick-ass plans..." said Porky.

_Attempt 1_

"Wheee..." said Ridley, who got drunk very fast and was stumbling around the room knocking over tables and face-planting into food. Vaati watched amused, sipping some wine from a glass. He was careful not to drink too much so that he would make sure Porky and Ashley wouldn't try and steal it while he was in a drunken stupor.

"Hey Vaati, I have a question for you." said Ashley.

"I'm not letting you get any wine."

"I know, but I have a question about wind magic."

"Okay, shoot."

"How does wind magic work? Do you have to conduct the winds through an existing breeze or do you create it yourself?"

"Well, as you may notice, there's no breeze in here. So watch as I create one... and blow away Porky." said Vaati. With a smirk, he blasted wind at Porky, who had been sneaking up to the crate of wine the entire time and sent the fat kid flying. "I wasn't born yesterday. But thanks for asking me a question about magic! It makes me feel like a wonderfully influential person!"

"Whatever." muttered Ashley.

_Attempt 2_

"Almost got it..." said Ashley as she attempted to levitate the crate of wine over to her.

"Nope." said Vaati, pulling the wine back with his wind powers.

"Well damn." muttered Porky.

_Attempt 3_

"CHARGE!" yelled Porky. He and Ashley attempted to bum rush Vaati only to get blown away.

_Attempt 4_

"Give us drinks or I will turn you into a frog." threatened Ashley. Guess what happened?

"Alright, this isn't working." admitted Porky.

"Gee, you think?" snarked Ashley.

"Hmm... Wait, I may have another idea!"

"Will it actually work this time?"

"Maybe."

* * *

_4:45 PM_

"...so she started putting potions in the city's water supply just to amuse herself." said Mona.

"That's... that's just horrible." said Pikachu.

"I know. Everyone else is too scared witless to stand up against her. Plus she pays us way better than Wario ever did. Only I actually have the courage to stand up to that little devil." said Mona. She then got a guilty look on her face. "Everytime I try to rebel though, she hurts this boy who keeps following her around."

"Boy?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yeah. That Giygas freak gave some boy to Ashley as a chewtoy. She saw no point in hurting me, so she started to hurt him. Everytime I see him, his condition just gets worse and worse. His cute blonde hair keeps getting dirtier and he's started acting creepy to hide his misery."

"Blonde hair? ...Mona, what's the name of this boy?"

"His name's Lucas." said Mona. Meta Knight's eyes widened, Pikachu, who was simply relaxing on Mona's desk, fell off, and Fox suddenly remembers something.

"Oh yeah! I just remembered that Lucas was the one who gave me the Giygas bomb back in Big Blue! I guess this is Ashley's fault, huh?" said Fox. Pikachu facepalmed.

"How the hell did we forget that?" said Pikachu.

"Yes, how could we forget such an important detail? Mona, where would Lucas be right now? He's one of our fellow Smashers and friends, so we must rescue him." said Meta Knight.

"Probably at Ashley's mansion, crying or getting tortured or something." said Mona. She grabbed a phone off of her desk and dialed a number. "I'll call a cab to drive you there. Just don't tell anyone that I helped you. If Ashley found out... oh hi Dribble. ...Yes, I need a ride for some people to Ashley's Mansion. ...No, don't bring your baseball bat, they're good guys. ...No, you can't hit them anyway! What's wrong with you?" While Mona talked to this Dribble guy over the phone, Meta Knight turned to the other two.

"I propose we split up into two groups: one to get the Dimensional Secret and the other to retrieve Lucas." said Meta Knight.

"I'll get the Dimensional Secret." called Pikachu.

"Uh.. me too." said Fox.

"...Well, I don't want to complain but you do realize that I'm going alone to a mansion owned by a crazy sociopathic girl. I might need a little help." said Meta Knight.

"Why else did you think I picked the Dimensional Secret? There's no way in hell that I'm going to that mansion." said Pikachu.

"And I decided to go with him since getting the Dimensional Secret sounds easier!" said Fox. Meta Knight twitched his eye in anger.

"And yet you guys have no problem with me going alone?"

"...I have confidence in your abilities?" excused Fox.

* * *

_4:50 PM_

Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB were sitting in their cell once again. They could hear the festivities and smell the food from where they were, so they were both annoyed and very hungry. Jigglypuff checked on Falco to see if he's okay.

"How are your eyes Falco?" she asked. The avian broke into tears, which surprised Jigglypuff but confused ROB.

"ARE THOSE TEARS? HOW DO TEARS FEEL? DO YO HAVE TO DRINK WATER FIRST TO MAKE TEARS?" asked ROB.

"I can barely see anymore... If Fox or Wolf hears about it, they'll never stop bothering me about it... I can never fly again..." said Falco.

"Sure you will." comforted Jigglypuff. "We just need to escape mean old Giygas' place! I'll help you regain your sight!"

"I CAN HELP TOO. I'LL DONATE MY OWN EYES. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HOOK UP THE CABLES TO YOUR BRAIN." said ROB.

"That sounds completely terrifying." shuddered Falco. Suddenly, he heard a clinking sound. "Wait what's that?" He heard a door swing open.

"Wha.. you're freeing us?" asked Jigglypuff. Porky had just came and opened their cell door.

"I guess." shrugged Porky.

"I SUSPECT SHENANIGANS." said ROB.

"Yeah! What's this really about fat boy!" Falco yelled at a wall, which was nowhere near Porky. Jigglypuff turned him around so that he could at the very least glare at Porky.

"...Okay, I need you guys as a distraction so me and my friend can get some wine." explained Porky.

"...You're freeing us for adult drinks? That makes no sense!" yelled Falco.

"It's a Hyper story, what do you expe- OUCH!" yelled Porky; a sideways lightning bolt came out of a nearby window."Alright, now that's just ridiculous."

"So, what should we do?" asked Jigglypuff. "Not that I want to help you, but because I feel as if we need to hold our end of the deal."

"Two words." said Porky. He leaned into Jigglypff's face. "Raise hell."

* * *

_5:00 PM_

A taxi arrives at the WarioWare Company building, with a dog and a cat driving. The small knight boarded the taxi, waving to the rat and fox, promising to bring back the boy.

A nerd smiles. Science once again triumphs over animal. The demon would surely be impressed by his work.

The blind bird, balloon creature, and confused robot decided to uphold their end of the bargain. They run into a room marked "Fighting Alloy Team". They go over to a machine and set the setting to "Cruel Brawl". Hell will be raised.

The demon once again attempts to use the plot holes, hoping very much that the creator got lazy again. The demon is currently hurtling through various universes while the creator laughs at his misery and misfortune.

The fat boy and witch whistles, looking as innocent as possible. They watched what the bird, creature, and robot had done. They're just waiting for the moment to make their move. The wind mage eyes them suspiciously.

The creator eats a donut. Mmh. Delicious.

The boy sits in a basement, sleeping and succumbing to madness. A little demon feels worried for him, but can't do a thing about it.

The fox and mouse walks down a very long hallway, which leads to the witch's quarters. They wonder why the damn hallway is so long. Their aide believes that it was like that for dramatic effect. They admitted that it was a pretty damn good dramatic effect.

The bird, creature, and robot hid as strange beings were produced by the machine. They watched as the creatures ran off to subjuglate the first living beings they find.

GAG still refuses to comment on anything.

The nerd flies toward the WarioWare building, a large crate in tow.

Waluigi is watching TV.

And now back to our usual narrative format.

"...This really is a long hallway. That Ashley girl really must be crazy to put this." commented Pikachu as he and Fox walked down the extremely long hallway. Mona in the meantime ditched them so she could pretend not to have anything to do with this.

"...I'm starting to wish that we went to save Lucas." said Fox.

"...Yeah." said Pikachu. "I feel sort of sad for that kid though. We all teased him back during the tournament and now some jerkass is putting him through hell."

"Just like Andross did to me."

"What?"

"Oh. Nothing... Probably nothing important." answered Fox. They continued to walk for about a minute... and discovered that they're not even a quarter of a way there.

"**_...WHEN DOES THIS HALLWAY END?_**"

* * *

"Be careful in there mate." said the dog taxi-driver named Dribble. He dropped Meta Knight at the entrance of Ashley's mansion and quickly drove off, wanting to be as far away from there as possible. Meta Knight walked up to the front door and knocked. He rested his hand on his sword, expecting for a monster to greet him at the door.

"Hi there!" greeted a tiny demon that can't be taken seriously.

Oh, um, hi." greeted Meta Knight, caught off guard.

"Wait a minute... I think I know you..." squeaked the demon. "...Wait... Oh I know! You're Roy, right!"

"...Uh..."

"Sure you are! Why don't you come in and take a seat!" the little demon lead Meta Knight inside the creepy yet cozy mansion. "My name is Red, if you need anything, just call."

"Um, Red? Is a boy named Lucas here?" asked Meta Knight.

"Lucas? He's sleeping in the basement. Why do you ask? Does Ashley need him?" asked Red.

"Oh no, uh, I'm here to check up on him for her." lied Meta Knight. Red nodded and lead him to the door to the basement.

"Don't try to wake him up, okay? He needs some sleep." asked Red. Meta Knight walked down a staircase, descending into a dark basement. He found Lucas sitting in the middle of the dark room, not sleeping. In fact, it seems that he's been staring at a wall the entire time.

"Lucas." called out Meta Knight. Lucas turned around to face him. Meta Knight expected Lucas to jump at him and hug him. Instead, he just smiled.

"Oh hi Roy." said Lucas before turning to continue his wall staring.

"...Lucas, I'm not Roy."

"Sure you are."

"I'm Meta Knight, how can you forget?" asked Meta Knight.

"If you were Meta Knight... I'd have to kill you." said Lucas, creepily grinning.

"...On second thought, my name is Roy." said Meta Knight. "Lucas, what happened to you?"

"Hee hee hee... wouldn't you like to know?"

* * *

Let's go see if Fox and Pikachu have made it to the end yet.

"...so I had to fly through all of these stupid arches so Falco could show me a waterfall. Seriously, that makes no sense to me!" ranted Fox. They were halfway through the hallway and they decided to pass time by telling each other stories.

"Why did you even fly under the arches in the first place?" asked Pikachu.

"Oh, I thought it would be a cool trick. Like, whoosh!" said Fox, using his hands to gesture a ship flying under an arch.

These guys are boring. Let's get to the hell raising.

* * *

Vaati's vision started to blur as he drank some more wine, but otherwise, he was in perfect condition. ...Wait no, he could see some different colored and shaped people coming into the room. Yeah, he's hallucinating. Look, that one's kicking Pichu acorss the room.

"WAAH!" cried Pichu, flying across the room and slamming into a wall.

Okay, maybe he wasn't hallucinating.

Vaati could hear real screams from his comrades as they began to get pummeled by the colorful gang of alloys. He ran into the fray, completely forgetting about guarding the wine. Almost immediately, a Kirby like figure kicked him in the face, leaving a bruise.

"Gasp! You have bruised my beautiful face! How dare you!" cried Vaati, punching the figure... through it's entire body. The figure slid to the ground dead as Vaati looked at his fists. "Uh... I did not know I could do that."

_**"...I'M GOING TO KILL YOU HYPER!**_" yelled Giygas, suddenly popping into the room. He looked around at the scene that was going on: his minions were getting beaten by the Fighting Alloy Team and they were too drunk to really put up a fight. He was... actually not that surprised. "Vaati, what the hell is going on?"

"I-I don't know. These guys all ran in and... ONE OF THEM RUINED MY FACE!" cried Vaati.

"Get ahold of yourself you pansy." said Giygas. But it was too late, as Vaati was crumpled on the ground, sobbing. The demon sighed. With a fluid movement, he transformed his arms into something blade-like. _"Looks like I have to do everything myself._"

Porky and Ashley realized that Giygas was going to fight. Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire, they grabbed some bottles of wine and made a run for it.

Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB were hanging around near the meeting room purely to hear their enemies get beaten senseless. Upon hearing Giygas though, they decided to get the eff out of there while they could.

* * *

"...so Ash is a great kid. Annoying voice, but he's pretty cool." said Pikachu.

Fox nodded. "That's what I feel about my teammates sometimes. Exept Slippy. Everyone hates Sli-" THUD. Fox walked straight into a wall. He quickly got up and gasped, looking at the sight in front of him. He couldn't believe it. "We reached the door! It's an almost Thanksgiving miracle!"

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" shouted Pikachu, kicking the door open. The office was large and dark, with the desk in the back of the room. Many bookcases lined up the walls. But where could the secret be?

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Said a voice. The chair behind the desk spun around, revealing Jeffborg. "Heh, I always wanted to say that."

"...Who are you?" asked Fox.

"Don't you remember me? You know, the cool guy?" said Jeffborg.

"You're not cool." said Pikachu.

"SHUT UP! I totally am cool!" yelled Jeffborg.

"Oh yeah! I remember! You're the kid that dissed Nintendo!" said Fox. He started running toward Jeffborg. "I call kicking him first!" Jeffborg lazily pointed his cannon at Fox and blasted the hair off the top of his head. "...On second thought, I'm not going to beat you up."

"Damn right you won't."

"Wait, aren't you a good guy?" asked Pikachu.

"Not anymore. Giygas is actually pretty cool once you get to know him. That is if he doesnt hate your guts." said Jeffborg.

"He should hate your guts! You're a frigging coward!" yelled Pikachu.

"Bluh bluh, whatever. So, why don't you turn around, leave, and forget this whole secret buisiness?" offered Jeffborg.

"Are you kidding? Have you _seen_ that hallway?" said Fox.

"Kid, stop acting like an idiot. We clearly outnumber you." pointed out Pikachu.

"Or do you?" said Jeff. He gleefully marks that off of the list of things he wanted to say before bringing up a large crate. He cracks it open, making Pikachu and Fox gasp. Inside the crate were the squirrels. But something was... off about them.

"L33t Master Jeff! What do you want for us to do?" said Not Sheldon in a dull tone.

"...Pfft... L33t Master Jeff? Are you serious?" laughed Fox.

"The more I spend time in this guy's presence, the more I feel that he's a massive tool." said Pikachu.

"SILENCE! Squirrels, kill them! Raise hell!" yelled Jeff. On his command, the squirrels ran out of the crate, toward the heroes.

Hell cannot be risen even further than it is right now.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_I do not endorse underage drinking. This is a fan-fic and everything in here should be treated as nonsense. So anyway, cliffhangers. I left the story off on at least three different cliffhangers. I am such a jerk. ANYWAY. How will Giygas fare against the Fighting Alloy Team on Cruel Brawl mode? Will Jigglypuff, Falco, and ROB escape? Will Lucas go back to being sane and escape? What does wine taste like? What did Jeff... whoops, Jeffborg do to the squirrels? How come I only asked one ridiculous question this time? Find out in the next chapter, where stuff continues to happen!_


	20. Losing Friends

_Must... rewrite... chapters. Must... finish Halloween story..._

_Also, this is the longest chapter I've made so far. Near 7000 words I expect._

* * *

_Chapter 19: Losing Friends_

* * *

_Last time on Attack of Giygas..._

"Sonic, I'm pregnant, and I think you're the father." announced Peach. Everyone present gasped. Mario in the meantime ran up to Sonic, kicking him in the face and sending him flying for several miles.

"You son of a bitch!" yelled Mario. He then took out a folding chair and started beating the crap out of everyone with it.

"What have I done?" cried Peach, looking at Mario's rampage and knowing that it was her fault.

What the hell am I talking about. This has absolutely nothing to do with the story. So, what's really going on is: Meta Knight goes to Ashley's Mansion to try and rescue Lucas, Fox and Pikachu are currently getting into a fight with Jeff and the brainwashed squirrels, Ashley and Porky released Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB in the name of drinks, and Giygas is going to take care of the distraction they set up. So, let's get on with this, shall we?

Tentacles descended from the ceiling, made out of Giygas' darkness. They shot forward at various Fighting Alloy Team members, grabbing ahold of them and dragging them off into the darkness, never to be seen again. That's not even mentioning Giygas' material body, which was currently running around, stabbing people with his literal bare hands, all the while laughing like a maniac. He kicked away a Captain Falcon look-a-like that was stomping on Pichu.

"Thanks, you're the best boss..." groaned Pichu.

"I'm only doing this because you are all too drunk to do much of anything." muttered Giygas. "Also..." He swung his arm, beheading the Captain Falcon look-alike. "...this is the most fun I've had in a while." Meanwhile, Jigglypuff and ROB were watching the battle from far away.

"Guys, what's going on?" asked Falco.

"You don't want to know." gulped Jigglypuff.

"OH MY GOD. HIS POWER IS GOING BESERK. WE SHOULD RUN AWAY BEFORE- BEEP BEEP. EMERGENCY DETECTED. ACTIVATE EMERGENCY ALARM." said ROB. A speaker came out of ROB and started blaring a siren.

"This is not good, is it?" asked Falco.

Jigglypuff screamed as Giygas turned his head in ROB's direction and scowled. However, he was still preoccupied with the Fighting Alloy Team to take care of them. For now. "RUN! WHILE HE'S STILL DISTRACTED!" screamed Jigglypuff, taking hold of Falco's hand and running like hell, with ROB following behind.

* * *

Gunfire sounded as the squirrels shot at Fox and Pikachu, who were hiding behind a bookcase.

"Fox, can't you break reality like you did last time?" asked Pikachu nervously.

"Depends. Hyper, you still there?"

Yes.

"Nope. Sorry." apologized Fox.

"Surprise!" shouted Jeff, appearing right next to them. Fox freaked out and grabbed a book off the bookshelf, bashing Jeff's head in. "Ow! That was an A-D encyclopedia! Those hurt you know!"

"What?" said Fox. He looked at the encyclopedia in his hands and quickly threw it. "Noooo! The knowledge! It burrrns! _GACK._" Suddenly Fox was getting choked by Joey and several other squirrels.

"You sould not show L33t Master Jeff any disrespect, understand?" said Joey. Fox could not nod or say anything because they were gripping his neck too tightly. Pikachu in the meantime was being chased around by some squirrels, with Andrew holding on to his tail.

"Get off of me!" yelled Pikachu, flinging Andrew away. Andrew yelled "SPAAAAACE!" as he flies across the room and hits a button labled "**SECRET**". Suddenly, the room changed. The bookcases disappeared, getting replaced by tv screens which displayed the faces of every person in the room, along with a life bar. Then...

_Stop me!_

The back of the room suddenly transformed into a spinning dart board, with Wario's face plastered on part of it. Instead of doing anything though, everyone just gawked at the sudden randomness of it all. The squirrels all stopped trying to attack their targets as well. A bomb appeared on one of the screens and within 5 seconds, it exploded. Everyone's health bars suddenly dropped by one.

"...Alright, what the hell is going on now?" asked Pikachu.

Fox observed his surroundings. "...Oh! I get it! We're in a live WarioWare game of some sort!"

"What's WarioWare?" asked Jeff, being stupid as usual. "Jeffborg!" I don't care anymore.

_Dodge!_

A potato on wheels rammed into Jeff, while somehow not hitting anyone else. This pretty much confirms Fox's suspicions. As a result, Jeff's health dropped to two.

* * *

Jigglypuff dragged Falco through the halls while ROB looked around for them. Giygas was going to finish up with the Fighting Alloy Team at any moment, and when he does, he'll probably kill them.

"Where's the stage teleporter room again?" asked Jigglypuff.

"I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE THREE LEFTS." suggested ROB.

"Wouldn't that just lead us in a circ..." Falco stopped mid-sentence and shuddered. "Oh god. I can hear him coming..." A red mist came toward them, carrying Giygas' voice.

"_I'm going to find you and kill you... I'm going to find you and kill you..._" The trio screamed and started running off into a random direction. They stopped caring where they were going. They just wanted to get as far, far away from Giygas as possible.

"Wait, this hallway looks familiar!" said Jigglypuff, looking down a hallway.

"What are we waiting for? Let's get out of here!" yelled Falco.

"You're not going anywhere." said Giygas' malevolent voice as he appeared directly behind the heroes. He flew toward the heroes, arms raised, ready to strike them and chop them to bits. Instead, his arms were blocked by metal. "Hmm?"

ROB was blocking Giygas.

"YOU TWO GO AHEAD. I WILL HOLD HIM OFF." said ROB.

"Are you nuts!" said Falco.

"NO. I AM NOT A PEANUT OR WALNUT OR ANY KIND OF NUT. BESIDES, THIS IS WHAT LEADERS SHOULD DO: PROTECTING THEIR SUBORDINATES." said ROB. Jigglypuff nodded and lead Falco down the hallway. ROB stared down Giygas, with as much soul as possible. But of course, he's a robot, and he does not have a soul. But it still freaked Giygas out a little.

"How dare you defy me?" growled Giygas. He stepped back and swung his arms several times at ROB, who deflected with his spinny arm attack. "Such insolence will not be tolerated. Your death shall serve as an example to your other stupid friends." Giygas widened his eyes in surprise as ROB punched him in the face with his metal fist.

"YOU SHALL NOT TALK ABOUT MY FRIENDS THAT WAY." said ROB. He continued to punch Giygas in the face, while at the same time being surprised that he can wallop Giygas so easily.

But of course, you can't wallop an intergalactic demon. Especially with a spear that the demon created with his darkness while he wasn't looking within his robot chest.

The circuitry burst out, setting off sparks and such. If ROB could feel the pain, he would be gasping and sputtering. "ERROR. GIANT SPEAR THROUGH CHEST. EXTERMINATION IMMINENT."

"Damn right it is." said Giygas. With one swing, ROB's body was separated into two halves. Like a karate chop, he raised his arm... and brought it downward into ROB's head, easily shattering it.

"Oh my god..." said Jigglypuff. She had taken one final glance at ROB before she entered the teleporter room and was horrified by the sight.

"What, what happened?" asked Falco.

"F-Falco... He... _he killed ROB..._" sobbed Jigglypuff. If Falco could stare, he would be staring in disbelief.

"What?"

"And you two will be next." gloated Giygas. Jigglypuff quickly dragged Falco into the teleporter room as Giygas chased after them. Giygas looked into the stage teleporter room and discovered that they have already absconded. Although he was angry, Giygas was very pleased by what he had done. He walked back to ROB's wreckage and gleefully kicked what was left of the former Smasher leader's head. A speaker fell out and to Giygas' surprise, it spoke to him.

"I MAY BE DEAD NOW... BUT THE SMASHERS SHALL CARRY ON IN THEIR MISSION TO DESTROY YOU IN MY HONOR..."

"Oh shut up." Giygas stamped his foot on ROB's last bit of life, easily destroying it.

* * *

"Lucas, I need you to listen to me." said Meta Knight.

"Okay Roy."

"I am not.. okay, not the point. Look Lucas, I'm not sure what state your mind is in, but you need to escape from this place."

"Oh, I can't do that." said Lucas.

"Why not?"

"Because if I... r-resist or disobey Ashley, she'll be unhappy. And if she's unhappy..." He grabbed Meta Knight's hand and dragged it to his neck. Specifically the part with the glowing spots. "She'll light up these spots. And when all five are l-l-lit... my head will explode... You see, I must obey her will. It will make her h-happy... and if she's happy, I'll be rewarded..."

Meta Knight sighed. "Lucas, I fear that being in Ashley's presence for so long is starting to brainwash you."

"That and the spiked food."

"What?"

"Ashley spikes all my food with this red dust... At first I didn't like it, but then it started to taste delicious... It also pleases h-her..." said Lucas. He took out some trail mix, which was obviously filled with red Giygas clone dust. "Want some?"

Meta Knight smacked it out of his hands. "No. I want you to stop eating the stuff. It's evil."

"I don't b-believe you..."

"Lucas, I'm taking you out of here whether you want to leave or not. Our friends may be worried for you."

"Friends?" The boy laughed. "I don't have any friends. N-No one loves me..."

"People love you." assured Meta Knight. "What about your famil-"

"_MY FAMILY'S DEAD TO ME!_" Meta Knight was shocked on how Lucas' tone turned from calm yet demented to loud and annoyed. "My mother is dead, my brother is dead, and father ignored me for three years to look for brother, so he might as well be dead too! Ha ha ha! Dead dead deadity dead." Lucas leaned over to Meta Knight, smiling like a lunatic. "I can't tell what Ashley says is true or not... but I know this as fact..."

"Lucas... please calm down..."

"_SHUT UP_. I'm st-starting to recognize you now... you're Meta Knight, not Roy!"

"Of course. I sort of said that when we started talking." said Meta Knight. Lucas pinned Meta Knight to the ground.

"Shut up. You're my enemy... or that's what Ashley says... how do I know you're not l-lying?"

"Because the Smashers are your friends Lucas." said Meta Knight calmly.

"L-Liar..."

"No, this is the truth Lucas. You're part of the Smashers yourself. Although we all come from different universes and have different tastes, we were all like a family. We're your friends Lucas, if not family." Lucas stared at Meta Knight, trying to accept his words. Finally, he gulped and got off of Meta Knight.

"You... you're right Meta Knight... My head's been acting funny... Sorry if I hurt you..."

"It's okay. I'm just glad that you're starting to see the truth. Now come on. We must leave this place." said Meta Knight.

"But... If Ashley finds out, she'll hurt me..."

"Don't worry. I'll make sure that no one will harm you." assured Meta Knight. He took Lucas' hand and lead him out of the basement, getting greeted by Red at the front door.

"Oh, are you guys going?" asked Red.

"Er yes. Ashley needs him for... um... something." said Meta Knight. He is honestly terrible at excuses. Nevertheless, Red believed him.

"Okay. Lucas, stay safe! I'd hate it if you were injured!" said Red. He leaned in to Lucas and whispered, "Be careful, I heard that Roy loves to set things on fire."

Lucas briefly giggled as Meta Knight dragged him out of the mansion.

* * *

_Taunt!_

Pikachu and several squirrels rolled around the ground, looking adorable. Jeff finally got into the swing of things and adjusted his glasses, trying to look cool. It wasn't cool at all, but it apparently counts as a taunt. Fox and the other squirrels made cool poses with their guns. After the bomb went off, they resumed with shooting each other. Everyone's health was either one or two. Several squirrels were already eliminated, getting dropped through trapdoors which lead outside of the building.

"Fox, I need a little backup over here!" yelled Pikachu, trying to fend off Joey and Not Sheldon.

"But these guys keep biting my feet and they huuurt." whined Fox.

"You guys should just give up right now." said Jeff. Jeffborg. Screw it.

"To a nerd like you? Never!" yelled Pikachu.

_Avoid!_

The room changed into a dry enviroment with a giant cup hovering around, deciding when to descend and capture any unlucky players. The walls were painted to look like space... suddenly, Fox got an idea.

"Oh hey look! It's space! You know, the awesome thing!" shouted Fox.

"_GAAAASP_." gasped (duh) Andrew. Even though he was brainwashed to fight Fox and Pikachu, one thing still overrided the brainwashing: his odd love for space. "SPAAAACE!" So instead of fighting or paying attention to the microgame, Andrew just stood there and looked at the walls. Unsurprisingly, Andrew got captured by the cup along with anyone unfortunate enough to be standing right next to him. Regardless of how much health they had, they dropped down along with Andrew. This left Fox, Pikachu, Jeff, Not Sheldon, Jefferson, Joey, and a few red shirt squirrels.

"Damn you space! You screw things over for me again!" cursed Jeff. "Come on squirrels, we can do this!"

"We work at our own pace L33t Master Jeff. Deal with it." said Not Sheldon.

_Scoot!_

Several firecrackers are thrown from who knows where at the players, but they easily dodge. Then...

"Surprise!" said Pikachu as he headbutted Jefferson into a firecracker. "Oops, I'm sorry."

"You're a jerk, you know that?" said Jefferson before dropping down a trap door. "Sometimes I wish we never chased you jeeerrrrksss..."

* * *

Vaati surveyed the damage. All of his fellow cohorts were on the ground, either unconsious or drunk. Along with them, several Fighting Alloy corpses littered the ground. Buffet tables were upended, there was a fire in the corner for some reason and... Vaati was actually not surprised by this. What did surprise him was that it didn't happen sooner.

"Oh, Giygas sir, you're back." greeted Vaati as his boss entered the room. "Did you get them?"

"Just one. But it was their precious leader, so I expect for the Smashers morale to be hurt." said Giygas. "Hand me a drink. I need to relax a bit."

"Sure thing sir..." Vaati paused. "Funny. I thought there was more wine in here..."

What he didn't know was that Porky and Ashley were hiding away from him, with some bottles of wine. Porky had some shot glasses ("Yeah, I just so happened to be carrying shot glasses. Don't judge me." argued Porky) and they were prepared to drink.

_Shot 1_

"Hmm... It's not as bad as I thought it would taste." commented Ashley after drinking her first shot.

"Yeah. Definitely worth all this crazy trouble." said Porky, grabbing a wine bottle to pour some more.

_Shot 2_

Suddenly, Porky and Ashley felt like talking about friendship.

"Hey, Ashley. Did you ever have friends?" asked Porky.

"No." growled Ashley. "I was alone my whole life until I joined with the other WarioWare idiots."

"...I used to have Ness as a friend, but it stopped working out after I turned evil and stuff..."

"...I see..."

_Shot 3_

"Ness was like a bro man. The best bro I ever had. And not Picky. He's stupid." said Porky.

"What a rude thing to say about your brother. I would kill to have a sibling or simply someone to know other than Red..." said Ashley.

_Shot 4_

It's fairly obvious to anyone with a brain that Porky and Ashley were drunk.

"...You know... I've recently found a new friend..." said Ashley.

"Cool story sister. Please tell me while I roll around the room, wondering why I thought it was a good idea to drink this stuff..." said Porky.

"Well... this new friend is Lucas..." said Ashley.

"Woah, seriously? Are you suh.. serious, because that's just... a terrible joke man." giggled Porky.

"...I heard of his past... he and I aren't that different now that I think about it..."

"How is he your friend if you stab him all of the time...?"

"...It's complicated..."

_Shot 5_

"...So." said Porky, mainly to break the tension.

"So."

"...I think I'm drunk."

"So am I."

_Shot 6_

"...Sometimes I fa..feel like apologizing to Lucas for all of this crap I do to him..." admitted Ashley.

"I'll never apologize to La..Lucas for wuh...what I did to him. I don't even know the loser." saud Porky.

"You're a jerk, you know that?"

_Shot 7_

"I'm sorry Ness... Come on, we could be friends again. Or if you'd like, you could just chase me around a parking lot with your bat..." groaned Porky. He wasn't actually talking to Ness. He was actually talking to Ashley, who was currently mistaking Porky for Lucas.

"Sorry Lucas... Maybe we could talk things over a game or two... I'm still going to hurt you though... It's just too fun... Perhaps we can be friends..."

"Ness!"

"Lucas!"

And then the two hugged, sobbing about their guilt and former/possible friendships. It was an unfortunate time to do that, as Vaati and Giygas had just entered the room, staring at the sight in front of them.

"Tsk. This is preciously why kids shouldn't drink. This happens!" yelled Vaati.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Giygas.

"Just look! It's Ashley! Hugging! Porky! That's just unnatural! Don't you feel the cosmos cringing at the idea of those two hugging?" whined Vaati.

"...Are you two sober enough to return home?" asked Giygas.

"I... I guess..." Ashley got up, wobbling a little. With a wave of her wand, she was gone. Porky however cannot return home because he was both too drunk, too fat, and too not magical to actually get anywhere.

"Can you guys carry me?" asked Porky. Giygas and Vaati looked at each other... and left the room, leaving Porky alone. "...Guys? ...Ness?"

* * *

_Flee!_

"Oh this is just ridiculous." complained Pikachu, appearing in a car along with the others. They drove around, ramming each other while avoiding what looks like giant soccer balls.

"Hey! Stop ramming me! I'm going to get crushed you know!" said Fox as Joey repeatedly rammed into Fox's car.

"Dats the point." said Joey. However, ironically, he's the one who gets crushed. In fact, if he didn't ram Fox at all, Fox would have gotten crushed instead. Ha ha, irony is a funny thing.

"Or... you can get crushed. That works too." said Fox. Joey and his crushed car were dropped through a trapdoor, leaving four players left: Fox, Pikachu, Jeff, and Not Sheldon, all with one bit of health left. Jeff and Not Sheldon constantly shot at Fox and Pikachu, who dodged the shots and were unleashing blasts and lightning bolts back at them.

"Come on! Give up already!" yelled Jeff.

**_BOSS!_**

They all stopped fighting to witness the boss microgame being recreated. A punching bag came down from the ceiling, right above the floor, which has been separated into two different colors.

_Beat the other team!_

"Is this like tetherball?" asked Fox.

"I think." shrugged Pikachu.

"Wait, what? No! I'm terrible at gym activities and stuff!" complained Jeff.

"And I'm too small to actually hit the damn thing!" complained Not Sheldon.

Fox and Pikachu smirked. With one hit, Fox sent the punching bag spinning at Jeff. However, Jeff managed to block it like a complete sissy and send it toward Pikachu. Pikachu hits it back, sending it toward Not Sheldon. The squirrel jumps up, attempting to hit the punching bag. Instead however, the punching bag smacks him in the head, punching him into a wall. A trap door opened up below him as he slid inside.

"L33t Master Jeff, you suck!" yelled Not Sheldon as he fell in.

"Hmm... Now that I think about it, I suck, don't I?" asked Jeff. He then got a punching bag in the face for his troubles. "You guys are mean," Was all Jeff could say as he fell over into a trap door.

**_YOU ARE WINNER!_**

Trumpet noises played and confetti was blasted into the room to accompany the terribly worded message. Yay, fun. "...Okay." said Pikachu.

"Ooh! Look!" Fox pointed at a screen, which had a game controller emerging from below. It's... gasp! It's the microgame that Wario programmed the secret in! What is his most successfully microgame? What could it possibly be? Fox and Pikachu walked up to the machine, curious to see what was Wario's success.

It was the nose picking minigame.

Pikachu simply pressed the A button when the finger was positioned with the nose. Simple. "...All of this trouble for this? You'd expect something more harder an-"

The machine explodes. The last thing Fox and Pikachu hear before falling unconsious are the whispering noises.

* * *

"Well well well. It's Tom and Jerry again." greeted Crazy Hand. The giant hand loomed over Fox and Pikachu, prepared to bestow upon them another secret.

"...Tom and Jerry?" said Fox.

"Just play along with it Fox." muttered Pikachu.

"So, you guys are here for another secret, huh? _WELL FORGET IT!_" yelled Crazy Hand. He somehow took off his own glove (under his glove was apparently another glove) and smacked Fox in the head with it. "...Ha ha, just kidding! Sorry I smacked yo-_ KIDDING IT WAS FUN TO HIT YOU._"

"...Uh..." said Fox, rubbing his cheek.

"Look, just give us the secret and spare us from your insane babbering." said Pikachu.

"Done. But you owe me a quarter." said Crazy Hand. He put his glove back on (seriously, how the hell did he do that) and pointed at the two, light shining at his fingertip...

* * *

"Hooray! Five secrets down, two to go!" cheered Fox as soon as he returned to consiousness. Pikachu groaned and got up.

"So, how are we getting out of here?" asked Pikachu.

"We can go down the hallwa... oh." said Fox. He frowned. He really did not want to walk back down the hallway. However, he saw that the trapdoor that dropped Jeff was still open. Without wasting time, Fox grabbed Pikachu, yelled "Let's go!" and jumped down the trapdoor.

Meanwhile, outside of the building were Jeff and the squirrels, who were recovering from getting sent down the trapdoor and hitting their heads (Ashley has a cruel sense of humor).

"We have to get back inside guys! If I disappoint Giygas he'll... anyway, let's go! L33t Master Jeff demands it!" commanded Jeff. However, none of the squirrels seemed to be listening to him. Instead, they were glaring at him and reloading their weapons.

"No, we're not listening to you anymore." growled Not Sheldon.

"We fully remember you capturing and brainwashing us. I deduce that the fall down here made us regain our senses." thought Jefferson.

"Now that we're think'in clearly, I say that you deserve a beatdown." said Joey.

"Yeah! Let's send him flying into space!" yelled Andrew.

"For once, I agree with you Andrew. Everyone, _CHARGE_! No one screws with the squirrels!" yelled Not Sheldon. Before Jeff could say "oh crap", all of the squirrels were swarmed onto him, thinking that just shooting him was too tame. Jeff ran around screaming as they scratched and bit him in various places. Once Jeff had run out of sight, Fox and Pikachu emerged from the building, landing on top of their heads.

"Ow. Well, that nightmare is over." said Pikachu.

"Where do you think Meta Knight and Lucas are?" asked Fox.

"I don't know, but we're going to need a ride to pick them u- what the hell is that thing." said Pikachu, staring at an odd vehicle in the parking lot. It was a carrier of some sort, and it had a giant arm attached to it. Despite the oddness, Pikachu wouldn't be surprised that it belonged to Wario.

"Wait, it sort of looks familiar..." said Fox.

"...Oh yeah, it is! It's that thing Wario used to carry the trophies during that whole Subspace Emissary invasion! Quick, let's see if the keys are inside!"

* * *

"She... she stabs me a lot... sometimes for no reason." cried Lucas. "But she's usually friendly after she's done... she sometimes play games with me, and she cares enough to cook..."

"She's manipulating you into thinking she cares. It's a typical thing for abusers. But you shouldn't worry anymore. You're in safe hands now." said Meta Knight.

"You... you're right." said Lucas. The two continued to walk the streets of Diamond City, with Meta Knight watching Lucas to make sure that no one harms him. Or to make sure that he doesn't snap and attack him. Meta Knight wasn't really sure himself.

"We shouldn't be too far from the WarioWare building. We'll reunite with Fox and Pikachu there..." He noticed that Lucas had a worried face. "You know, the rest of your friends." Lucas nodded and continued to walk with him. However, Meta Knight turned his head when he heard chewing sounds. "...You're eating the trail mix?"

"...Evil tastes delicious..." excused Lucas.

* * *

"Ashley, are you there?" asked Red, having heard Ashley appear. She was currently lying on the floor, crying to herself.

"How come I don't have any friends, I kn-know I stab people but..." cried Ashley. Red picked her up and supported her.

"Ashley, are you drunk?"

"...Mah...Maybe... what's it to you?" snapped Ashley.

"I'll go get you some sobering potion. It should clear this right up."

Ashley rose her eyebrow. "Why do you have a potion that makes you sober..."

Red shook his head. "Let's just say that it gets stressful having to live with you." Red brought Ashley over to the kitchen and got a potion from the fridge. He forced Ashley to drink it, and within seconds, Ashley no longer looked drunk or dazed.

"Ah, thank you for that Red." said Ashley. She was going to leave him be but then she remembered her drunken spiel. "Red, is Lucas currently awake?"

"Oh yes, but he just left to help you with something." said Red.

The witch glared.

The small demon remained oblivious.

"Red._ I'm right here_." pointed out Ashley. She grabbed Red by the neck. "_Tell me. Who is Lucas currently with?_"

"Roy of course."

"_Roy was at Giygas' place with me._" Ashley said through gritted teeth.

"...Oh. Um.. don't kill me?" asked Red innocently. Ashley shook her head and proceeded to turn Red into a broomstick. She got on him, while grabbing the broomstick tightly as if she could strangle Red in that form.

"You're going to help me find Lucas. If we can't find him... I hope you like getting buried at the pet cemetary."

* * *

"Meta Knight!" yelled Fox. He drove the weird vehicle down the street, with Pikachu trying to hang on for dear life. Fox stopped the vehicle in front of the two and used the mechanical arm to put the two on board. "Glad you two are okay! Now we just need to get off this planet!"

"Hate to rain on everybody's parade, but that idiot Waluigi crashed the Starshroom, remember?" pointed out Pikachu.

"Um... I think one of Ashley's employees has a sp-spaceship. But it's cursed to always crash. Or something... He hides out next to a junkyard... I think..." said Lucas.

"That's not a problem. We crash all of the time anyway. Let's go." said Pikachu. But before Fox could start driving, a part of the road right next to them blew up. They looked up into the sky and they looked horrified at Ashley, who loomed overhead on Red the Broomstick.

"A-A-Ashley!" screamed Lucas.

"Yes, I'm here Lucas." She smiled at him, which honestly scared the crap out of him. "I'll forgive you for running away if you help me kill your friends right now."

"Lucas would never do that!" yelled Fox. He turned nervously at Lucas. "You wouldn't actually do it, right? ...Oh, right. Yeah, he'll never do it!"

"Oh, that's fine." said Ashley. She pointed her wand at them. "More people for me to kill I suppose." She shot a spell at them, but she missed and ended up blowing up an unlucky mailbox that happened to be nearby. That poor mailbox.

"_OH CRAP DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE_!" yelled Pikachu. Fox quickly drove the vehicle out of the way of another exploding shot. They honestly had no idea which way was the junkyard. They just wanted to get as far, far away from Ashley as possible. ...Hmm... did I type that before? Nah. I'm pretty sure I didn't. That's what lazy people do. Ashley fired multiple shots at the vehicle, but she kept missing, instead blowing up various things and people who were unlucky enough to be taking a stroll outside. The heroes tried to keep their balance on their wobbly transport.

"Eat this!" yelled Pikachu. He focused his energy and sent a thunderbolt into the air, almost hitting Ashley. She growled and flew around, dodging more thunderbolts that Pikachu sent at her. She eventually had to stop flying after them to avoid getting shocked.

This should be simple. All she had to do was blow up the vehicle and boom, everyone's dead. Wait no, she wanted to spare Lucas. Hmm... perhaps she could use an explosion to tilt the vehicle and get Lucas to fall off. No, those heroes would probably hear him fall off... unless she found a way to not make them hear.

"Hey Red, is there a spell to prevent people from hearing things?" asked Ashley.

"Um... I think it's called the Muffliato spell." said the broomstick.

"Hmm. This might work after all."

"I think we passed the junkyard while Waluigi was leading us." said Meta Knight.

"Well I think it's this way." said Pikachu.

"Maybe we should take three rights." suggested Fox. But no one heard that stupid suggestion. It's as if some buzzing noise filled their ears, preventing them from hearing. In fact, that's what precisely happened.

"What does Phoenix Wright have to do with this?" said Pikachu.

"Yes, I think it would be useful if we had Phoenix Downs in this universe." said Meta Knight. Meanwhile, Lucas looked at them confused, wondering why they cannot hear what the others are saying properly.

"Um, guys?" said Lucas. However, they failed to hear him. Suddenly, an explosion rocked the side of the vehicle. Lucas screamed as he lost his balance and fell off. "Guys! Come back!" However, as pointed out, they could not hear him. To poor Lucas, it looked as if his friends were abandonning him for dead. "P-P-Please..."

"Your friends run off?" asked Ashley, descending toward him. Lucas was too busy trying to comprehend what just happened to answer or be terrified of her.

"They... they wouldn't leave me here. They're my fr-friends..." cried Lucas.

"Maybe they're not your friends." lied Ashley.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Think about it. How much do you really know about your fellow Smashers?"

"I know a-a lot! We're like family! Like Meta Knight said!" defended Lucas.

"But think about this. What do they all think of you?"

"Well... th-they all think I'm a scardy-cat and a crybaby..." admitted Lucas.

"Yes, but you have perfectly good reasons to be that way. Yet those guys look past your terrible history and continue to mock you about it. Are those people really what you call friends?" said Ashley.

"Um..." said Lucas, unsure.

"Well, if you're still unsure about the Smashers, I'll tell you this one fact that'll have you question everything you know about them. Would you like to hear it?" asked Ashley. Lucas nodded, curious as to what Ashley would have to say. "You remember the entire incident with Meta Knight and the original Halberd?"

"I... I think it was attacked by a villain and was sunk into the ocean..." said Lucas.

"You have your facts wrong my dear Lucas." said Ashley. She leaned toward Lucas and whispered into Lucas' ear, amused with herself. "Kirby was the one who sunk the Halberd. Meta Knight was the villain."

And then Lucas' mind broke. He couldn't see the heroic, brave, and helping Meta Knight as a villain. However, he could tell that Ashley was telling the truth. Then he thought about the other Smashers, and what secrets they could possibly be hiding from him. Perhaps Peach was secretly dating Mario. Maybe Fox was a genius and thought that acting like an idiot in front of anyone would be an amusing prank. Maybe they all hated him. Lucas began smiling while hyperventilating, completely losing it. Ashley was admittedly guilty about tricking Lucas into thinking that no one cared about him, but it would ensure his full loyalty.

"You don't need to care about the Smashers anymore Lucas. You don't need them." said Ashley. Lucas suddenly hugged her, while crying.

"I'm sorry that I tried to escape with... them... Please forgive me Ashley..." said Lucas.

Ashley awkwardly returned the hug. She never recieved a hug... and she thought it felt good. "I forgive you Lucas. Consider this life lesson as your punishment. But you better obey me from now on. If you obey me, I'll be happy..."

"...and I'll be rewarded..." finished Lucas.

"Perhaps if you make me happy enough, we can be friends."

"R-Really?"

"Yes. I'll be your only friend. You don't need the Smashers. You don't need your terrible father. You only need me." said Ashley. Lucas stopped hugging her, yet Ashley decided to hold his hand. "Now follow me. You must be tired."

"Yes Ashley... If it makes you happy..." She lead Lucas onto the broomstick, which was disgusted by what just happened.

"You're a terrible person Ashley." said Red.

"Oh shut up Red."

* * *

"...that's why I hate weavils." said Pikachu. The others found themselves suddenly able to hear and understand his words, and they were understandably confused.

"Why are you talking about weavils?" asked Fox.

"I said it because Meta Knight mentioned them!" yelled Pikachu.

"No, I said that I hate evil villains. How on Earth did you associate that with weavils?" asked Meta Knight.

"No, you said something about weavils! Right Lucas?" Pikachu turned to where Lucas once was to hear his opinion, only to discover that he was no longer there. "...Guys, I think we have a problem."

"Oh god, he fell off just like I fell off my father's Landmaster when I was a kid!" screamed Fox. "I knew riding on _top_ of the Landmaster was dumb, but it was a good idea at the time!"

"We have to go back for him." said Pikachu.

"No. We can't. He... he's probably back in her clutches. I think a second rescue attempt would be impossible." said Meta Knight. The other two, remembering Ashley's attempts to blow them up, realized that a rescue attempt with Ashley around would be plain suicidal. "For now, we should get somewhere safe. She might still be pursuing us..."

"...Hey Meta, you okay?" asked Pikachu.

"I... I promised Lucas that I would protect him. I'm... I'm a terrible person." said Meta Knight.

"You're not terrible Meta! You may not have protected Lucas, but you're always protecting us! This is just another screw up!" assured Fox.

"Just don't let it get to your head like the Halberd thing." muttered Pikachu.

"You're right." said Meta Knight. "Still, I feel horrible... Fox try parking inside that indoor parking lot. I don't think she'll find us there..."

* * *

"I can't believe it... ROB's dead..." said Jigglypuff. She lead Falco around what looked like a deserted island. They did not know where they ended up, but at least Giygas wouldn't find them.

"He... he can be rebuilt. Slippy can do it for us.." said Falco.

"No. I saw him break ROB's head to pieces... he can't be repaired... he's dead Falco." said Jigglypuff. She broke into a sob, which ruined the make-up on her face.

"Don't cry. You look like hell..." said Falco, trying not to cry himself.

"Guys, is that you?" said a voice. From a nearby forest, a figure emerged. It was a young man, who had a smile on his face. He wore a green tunic and was carrying a small sword with him.

"Link?" gasped Jigglypuff.

"No. I'm Young Link."

_To be continued..._

* * *

_So, the side of good gained another secret, but ROB is dead and Lucas has been lost to the dark side. Also gasp, it's Young Link! Why hasn't he appeared before in the story? Does Giygas dust trail mix taste delicious? Can you believe it's not butter? What will happen next? What the hell happened to Waluigi? Do we even care? Whatever. So, join me soon for the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	21. The Missing Link

_Yup, we're definitely going to the Great Sea next. I am not lying, because only liars lie. And I definitely aren't a liar. I am a truther, and truthers speak only the truth._

* * *

_Chapter 20: The Missing Link_

* * *

So.

Last time on Attack of Giygas, our usual heroes have gotten another secret, but they accidently leave Lucas behind. As a result, Lucas loses his last shreds of sanity and joins up with Ashley. Meanwhile, over with the villains, Giygas shows his true strength and goes after Falco, Jigglypuff, and ROB. ROB sacrifices himself in order to let the other two escape. Falco and Jigglypuff end up... somewhere... oh, and they meet Young Link, who's been missing for the entire story. And now, stuff will happen. As usual.

"I can't believe that you guys are alive!" greeted Young Link. He expected Jigglypuff to happily greet him back and expected Falco to give him a friendly fistbump. Instead, Falco was running towards him. Or at least trying to.

"You traitor!" yelled Falco. He tried to dive for Young Link... but of course he couldn't see and ended up faceplanting into a tree.

"Uh, what's wrong with him?" asked Young Link.

"He's gone blind." said Jigglypuff. She then glared. "But you should know."

"Why? I... oh wait... you think I'm with Giygas, right?"

"You're one of those Melee jerks, aren't you?" asked Falco, rubbing his face... beak thing.

Young Link frowned. "Nope. They kicked me out even before this whole Giygas buisiness."

"Wait, what? They kicked you out?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Okay, long story. As you may notice-"

"Ahem." said Falco.

"...Oh right, sorry. Well, as Jigglypuff noticed, I'm more older. I'm actually the only person who grew up between the Melee and Brawl tournaments. ...I'm not sure why. I think messing around with the Song of Time so many times broke my body clock or something. Anyway, I could easily be mistaken for Link, so Master Hand gave me a job. When the other Link isn't avalable for fights, I would fill in for him. Unlike the rest of the Melee guys, I actually got to fight. This made them sort of angry, so they threw me out of their group." explained Young Link.

"All because you got more attention than everyone else?" said Jigglypuff.

"Pretty much." answered Young Lnk casually. "Then, a few days before Giygas came to the castle, Porky visited the Melee gang to recruit them as Giygas comrades. However, that fat idiot thought I was still with them, so he told me about what Giygas planned to do. So, after that, I jumped into the Great Sea stage teleporter and got an early start on looking for the secret in this place." concluded Young Link.

"...Wait, you knew about this and didn't bother to warn any of us!" yelled Falco.

"...Oh yeah, I guess I could have done that... I am such an idiot sometimes..." said Young Link sheepishly. "By the way, where's Lucas and ROB? I thought they got captured too."

Jigglypuff burst into tears.

"Aw gee, look what you did!" yelled Falco, trying to look for Jigglypuff so he could point at her while trying to glare at Young Link.

"Sorry. Seriously, where is the old bucket of bolts?" asked Young Link. He gasped as Jigglypuff suddenly slapped him.

"How... how dare you call ROB a ...a bucket of bolts!" yelled Jigglypuff, going back to crying.

"Why, what's the problem?"

"...Young Link, hate to break it to ya... but ROB died keeping Giygas from killing us." said Falco. Young Link stared at him in shocked silence for a few seconds before turning away.

"...Great. And now I made myself sad." said Young Link. No one believed that he really felt sorry though, mainly due to his very casual and non-serious demeanor.

"Well... I don't believe it. I remember hearing Giygas saying something about Link working with them. You're probably pretending to be sad just to get on our good side!" yelled Falco.

"He never said which Link." pointed out Young Link. Horror dawned upon Jigglypuff and Falco, who realized that Young Link wasn't in league with Giygas, but it could possibly be either regular Link or Toon Link.

"...So we have three Links running around and one of them's evil?" asked Falco.

"I... think." said Jigglypuff.

"...Hyper, are you just trying to make things confusing by having three Link running around at the same time?" asked Falco.

Possibly. It seemed like an amusing idea to me.

"Douche."

"And what about Lucas? What happened to him?" asked Young Link.

"Giygas gave him to one of his minions, Ashley. Last time we saw him, the poor boy was completely losing it!" said Jigglypuff. "He may as well be a villain if it weren't for the fact that he still likes us."

"Okay. So as long as nothing happens that sours his opinion of the Smashers, he's still on our side." said Young Link. Ha ha ha. "What's so funny?" I am a master at dramatic irony. "Dramatic irony?" Moving on.

"So, you're looking for the secret, right? Any luck?" asked Falco.

"Not much." The swordsman unfolded a map, which displayed the islands of the Great Sea. "I only checked most of the islands on the right side of the map so far."

"Oh yes! I can perfectly see the islands on the map with my perfectly good eyes!" snarked Falco.

"Oh yeah. Sorry. The only thing I accomplished so far is getting a hint from a dragon."

"Dragon?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Long story. I went to this Dragon Roost Island place and... anyway, he told me, 'You should turn to your parent for knowledge and advice'." Young Link paused before slamming his head against the ground. "Damn it, I can figure out how to do those goddamn Majora's Mask sidequests, but I can't figure out a simple riddle!"

Young Link continued to bang his head before Jigglypuff stopped him. "Hey. Don't beat yourself over it. Maybe we could figure it out together!"

"Yeah! Friendship and teamwork!" exclaimed Young Link, high-fiving Jigglypuff. "Come on Falco! Teamwork!"

"Someone kill me." muttered Falco. He sighed. "Look, the past several days have been hell. We've been tortured by Giygas with trumpets, saw one of our friends slowly lose his sanity, I was blinded by a goddamn nerd of all things, and ROB died. All I want to do is drink away my sorrows and have a peaceful sleep for once."

"Oh, I have some drinks." said Young Link. He retrieved several milk bottles from... wherever he keeps his shit and hands one to Falco and Jigglypuff. Falco opened up his bottle and took a whiff, frowning.

"I was hoping for beer or something, but this will have to do." said Falco.

"Before we drink..." said Jigglypuff. She raised up her bottle. "To ROB?"

Young Link and Falco raised their bottles and both said, "To ROB." They clanged their bottles together and took a drink, staring up (sorry Falco) at the night sky.

* * *

"Vaati, is everyone sober yet?" asked Giygas.

"No sir. King Boo's the only one active at the moment." said Vaati. Speaking of the devil, King Boo popped up, yelling "BLUH!", hoping that it would scare them. However, the only thing he accomplished was making a fool of himself.

"King Boo, give it a rest. You're not scary at all." said Giygas.

"It was worth a shot." admitted King Boo. He joined them at the meeting table (which was actually a smashed up buffet table). "So, why do you need me here?"

"After the bloodbath, Ashley informed me that the WarioWare secret was compromised. We're currently tied with those meddlesome heroes in secrets, so we need to get the last two quickly. I'm trying to think of a team that's best suited for the StarFox universe." said Giygas.

Vaati frowned. "What about the Wind Waker universe?"

"The Great Sea would take a long time for a single team to explore, so when everyone's available, we'll invade the Great Sea together." said Giygas.

"Ah, okay." said King Boo. They sat there at the meeting table together, waiting in awkward silence for their other colleagues. When they all got bored (which is about 5 minutes later), Vaati stole King Boo's crown and played monkey-in-the-middle with Giygas. Then, another 5 minutes later, they realized that what they were doing was stupid. After 5 more minutes, Giygas was tearing out his hair. Does he have hair? It's hard to tell. Whatever.

"Damn it! Will something happen already!" yelled Giygas. As if he and Vaati had the magical ability to make things happen by simply wishing or thinking about them, Ashley pops up, Lucas in hand.

"Hello Giygas." greeted Ashley formally.

"I'm glad that your here. Now I don't have to track you down to punish you for_ letting the secret get into the hands of those stupid heroes!_" yelled Giygas.

"It...it wasn't Ashley's fault, Mr. Giygas sir." piped up Lucas. He looked up to Giygas, a reflection of Ashley's smile on his face. "It was Jeff's job to make sure the secret doesn't fall into... their... hands. Clearly he deserves to be ripped apart. Violently."

"Oh yes, Jeff. Where the hell is that disappointment?"

"He got attacked by some squirrels he tried to use as bodyguards. Don't ask. I don't know either." said Ashley.

"You should have seen the bloodbath. Who knew squirrels were so good at gouging out eyes?" said Lucas. Everyone looked at Lucas for a few seconds. Vaati immediately got up and sat down several seats away from him.

"Seriously. That boy is screwed up." said Vaati.

"His sanity and peace of mind were the price to pay to ensure his eternal and unquestionable loyalty." said Ashley. "Admitedly, I feel terrible... but it was so worth it."

"You're a jerk, you know that?" pointed out King Boo.

"Lucas was unstable from the start. All it took was a little breaking, and it broke the moment his dear friends ditched him." said Ashley. She leaned in toward the villains, so Lucas wouldn't hear what she said next, "Or at least he thinks they did."

"So Lucas is completely loyal to you?" asked Giygas. She nodded. He turned toward Lucas. "What are your stances on killing?"

"If killing would make Ashley happy, I would gladly do it."

"And what would you do if Ashley tortures you?"

Lucas thought it through. "At first, I thought that it was b-bad when she hurt me. But then I realized that all pain causes is misery, yet Ashley is always happy when she hurts me. Therefore, if she's happy, I-I should be happy!"

"Disturbing... but a perfectly acceptable answer. Welcome to the evil side Lucas." said Giygas. He extended his hand, which Lucas nervously shook.

"I'm perfectly willing to help as long as it pleases Ashley... Making her happy would make me happy." said Lucas. Suddenly hsi mood shifted to grim and creepy. "I still see no point in this dimension conquering thing though. All of it will be gone very soon. We're just the brainchild of some children's company. When they go down, we go down with them... Also-"

"La la la, I'm not listening la la la..." sang Vaati and King Boo together, covering their ears.

"Lucas, stop. Your rants sometimes make me feel sad. And you don't wouldn't want me to feel sad, do you?" said Ashley.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry... I'll cut out my throat if you want me to stop talking..."

"No no, it's fine." said Ashley. She turned back to Giygas. "Sir, may I take a break for a few days? I need to train Lucas until he's, well, saner than he is now."

"No." answered Giygas.

"Im a little teacup short and spout, molten hot tea gets poured into me and I melt to death..." sang Lucas.

"...Fine." said Giygas. Ashley and Lucas excuses themselves from the room and leaves. "...Alright, with those two gone, everyone else drunk, Jeff out of commision, and Tom Nook being... somewhere... Where the hell is he anyway?"

* * *

"Look bro! Look at this!" shouted Luigi. He burst into the room, waving a flyer around in his hands. Mario swiped it and looked at it. It was an advertisement for an upcoming Nookington's store, with Tom Nook on the front with a mustache.

"Oh my god..." said Mario. He squinted at the raccoon. "This guy's mustache is better than ours-a!"

Ganondorf glanced at the flyer, realized the musatched raccoon for what it is... and kept it to himself. This doesn't seem important to him, so why bother telling them? However, he couldn't keep himself from muttering, "Idiots."

There was the sudden sound of glass breaking.

"Mister Mario! Another crazy guy broke into the castle!" yelled Popo from somewhere else in the castle.

"Just throw him out-a the window!" yelled Mario back.

* * *

"...Well, without anyone available, you two get to be stuck on the StarFox universe mission." said Giygas, glaring directly at King Boo and Vaati. They looked at each other and immediately started to complain.

"Sir that ghost is annoying-"

"He sings showtunes in his sleep!"

"-no I don't but I know that you are a lazy sack of crap that won't amount to anything!"

"Take that back! You... jerk!"

"**SILENCE**." commanded Giygas, ending the ghost and sage's bickering. "I'll pretend that I didn't hear those complaints. Now run along, grab a Giygas bomb, and raise hell for me, okay?"

Vaati growled. "You don't have to talk to us like we are kids."

"Yeah! I'm at least a thousand years old!" whined King Boo.

"_**GET THE **** OUT!**_" yelled Giygas. The two screamed and scurried out of the room. "Finally, those two are gone."

"...I'm still stuck here guys! Please I (hic) can't get up!" yelled Porky. Giygas decided to just ignore him. Exercise would do him good, thought Giygas.

* * *

The sun rose in the WarioWare Universe, shining brightly and happily upon the landscape. Alright, it wasn't that bright or happy. Red clouds mostly blocked out the sun, just shining rays of scarlet onto the already misreable world. I wonder what would happen if it were to rain. Would it rain Giygas based toxins that will drive people to insanity? Who knows. I certainly don't. And if I don't know, you won't know. Goddamn it, I should start trying to plan the story instead of making stuff up as I go.

SO ANYWAY. Meta Knight, Fox, and Pikachu finally deemed it safe enough to drive out of their hidey-hole. They slept on top of the cargo, so they can make a quick get away when someone ambushed them. They were currently tired, miserable as hell (due to the events of the night before and the Giygas-ness in the air, haha, I put Giygas and Ness in the same conjunction.), and was feeling useless thanks to the unsuccessful rescue.

"...Any of you guys... feel like drinking coffee?" asked Pikachu. He immediately collapsed, so Fox had to grab him to prevent the rat from flying off the cargo.

"...I do. I want pumpkin spice latte mxed with espresso and ooh put little marshmallows and... zzz..." snored Fox, his legs giving way and falling asleep on the floor with Pikachu. Meta Knight shook his head.

"Why must I always be the one who carries on for this team?" he asked himself. He thought it was best to not drive to the WarioWare Inc building to ask Mona for directions, since they would probably be unwelcomed. He drove around town carefully, and soon spotted some mountains of junk lying in a lot. Assuming that this is the junkyard, Meta Knight stops and parks there.

"Zzzz... I'm awake not asleep!" yelled Fox, suddenly jerking awake. "Don't worry, I was totally not sleeping Meta Knight!"

"You keep telling yourself that." yawned Pikachu. "So, where's this friend Lucas was talking about?"

"Hello." A white head popped out of a trashpile, giving our heroes heart attacks.

"OH GEEZ WHY ARE YOU HIDING IN THERE." said Fox.

"Ashley wanted to use me as a potion ingredient once so..." murmurred the strange white thing. He frowned. "And my name is not Strange White Thing. My name's Orbulon."

"Hiya! Our name's are Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight!" greeted Fox.

"Oh, you're the people the Mona human told me about." Orbulon then scowled. "In that case, get out of my humble abode." He attempted to burrow back into the ground (I don't know either) but Pikachu grabbed the top of his head.

"Hey! Where are you going!" yelled Pikachu.

Orbulon popped back up and stared coldly at them. "You guys dare call yourself heroes when you can't even save a human child." Meta Knight made a slight twitch.

"Don't say this stuff in front of him!" yelled Pikachu.

"He has problems with accepting failure." whispered Fox.

"I don't see why I should help you heroic misfits slash failures. You don't deserve it." said Orbulon. He made another attempt to burrow again, but Pikachu prevented this by shocking him. "Ouch. Are you aware that this isn't helping your case?"

"...Look... we may have made this failure..." stated Meta Knight.

"But you have to keep moving on! We just lost this small battle! We'll never lose the war! We're the heroes after all!" said Fox.

Pikachu twitched his eye. "Is this a "Knowing is half the battle thing?" Because that's really lame."

Well excuse me for trying to incorporate a life lesson in my story, you ungrateful little weasal. I predict that you'll die, sad and alone. There, I said it. It's my official headcanon and I'm sticking by it.

"Man that mysterious talking voice is weird." commented Orbulon. "Well, I suppose you have a point. I shouldn't withhold my services just because you meatbags are terrible at heroism."

"Stop reminding us." said Pikachu.

"...So, why have you come here?"

"We need to borrow a spaceship." said Meta Knight, right to the point.

"Spaceships? They end up crashing so many times that I made several of them. An entire mountainful actually." Orbulon pointed off to a trash pile, which turned out to not be a trash pile, but heaps of piggy themed spaceships. "You may take one. I won't mind."

"Let's take three! We could go space racing!" said Fox.

"NO MORE RACES." said Pikachu.

"Let's hurry along now. Before something else weird happens." muttered Meta Knight. They climbed up the spaceship pile and entered the one at the very top. Despite being in a junkyard, it was in perfect condition, other than the fact that it's easily crashable. It rose upward into the sky and sailed away through the clouds.

"Ahah!" announced a voice. Jeff (yeah, screw it, I'm not calling him Jeffborg anymore) dramatically hopped down from a pile of trash. He attempts to look awesome... but he's covered in casts and bandages, so it didn't look very cool at all. Still, very dramatic. Then he ruins it by trying to say an iconic line, which he screws up, big time. "I'm here to chew bubblegum and I'm all out of bubblegum!" He realizes his mistake. "Damnit I said it wrong."

"Weird Earth human, if you're looking for the meatbag heroes, they have already left." pointed out Orbulon. Jeff looked up into the sky and saw a rapdily shrinking pink dot. He stood there for a few seconds before he started crying and screaming.

"NO! This was my one chance to redeem myself! Now Giygas is going to kill me! Or worse! He'll make me hang with the crazy doctor guy for an entire day!" cried Jeff.

"Um, are you okay?" asked Orbulon, gently poking Jeff. However, he mistook the gentle poke as a squirrel and he ran off ino the distance, screaming about squirrels and gouged eyeballs. Orbulon shook his head. "Humans are so weird. ...Well, back to hiding in the trash for me!"

* * *

The piggy spaceship flew peacefully through space, searching for a plot hole that will lead them to their next location.

"Hold on, aren't the plot holes a little loopy at the moment?" pointed out Pikachu.

Yep.

"And you're still not going to do anything to fix it?" asked Pikachu.

Nope.

"Okay, so let's just avoid the plot holes."

"Oh. I wish you could have told me this sooner." said Meta Knight, piloting the spaceship directly toward a plot hole. "I'm sorry for not thinking things through."

"I hope we go to China next!" said Fox optimistically as the plot hole sucked them toward it and swallowed it up, sending it spiraling through space and time.

* * *

Jigglypuff was the only one still awake, staring up into the sky as Falco and Young Link sleeps around a fire.

"I wonder how everyone else is doing..." wondered Jigglypuff, sitting in the light of the moon. Although no one knew, Jigglypuff would spend nights staring into the sky and thinking of deep, profound things such as the meaning of existence, how beautiful the moon is, and why she is such a terrible singer. Then for some reason she started to think of pigs.

Because she saw a piggy-themed spaceship floating in the sky. Reasonably, she panicked.

"Guys! There's a floating pig in the sky!" screamed Jigglypuff. Falco woke up and scowled.

"Why do you have to make fun of my sight?" said Falco before drifting back to sleep.

"No really! There really is a pig in the sky!" said Jigglypuff. She shook Young Link awake and pointed up into the sky, where the spaceship was. Keyword here is 'was'.

Young Link gently smiled. "Just get some sleep Jigglypuff." He snapped back to sleep, leaving Jigglypuff at a loss for words.

* * *

Three Arwing crafts flew over the Cornerian landscape, surveying for trouble and danger.

"Did you find anything, Slippy?" asked one of the pilots.

"Nothing yet Peppy! Have you seen anything ROB 64?" asked Slippy. And no, this is not the same ROB nor are they the same type of robot.

"AFFIRMITIVE. I SAW A PIG-THEMED SHIP SUDDENLY APPEARING TO THE WEST." announced ROB 64.

Peppy thought about this. "Pig-themed ship... Oh no! This must be the work of Pigma! Come on, let's investigate!" Peppy turned his Arwing toward the West, with Slippy and ROB 64's Arwings following him. Meanwhile, said piggy-themed craft is actually the spaceship our heroes are on, and is definitely not related to a lame villain.

"Guys! I think we're in my universe!" said Fox. He excitedly pointed out the window like a giddy child. "This is the Cornerian landscape, as you can tell by the green grass, beautiful sky, oh, and those spacecrafts flying toward us!" The Arwings circled around their spaceship, not shooting but waiting for the occupants inside to make a move.

"I'll take care of this." said Pikachu. He opened up the window and charged an electric attack. "PIKA..."

"Wait! Those are Arwings!" Fox pushed Pikachu out of the way before he could attack and started waving his arms. "Guys! It's me! Fox!"

The cockpit of one of the Arwings opened up, showing Slippy Toad in all of his annoying but friendly glory. "Fox! Oh my god your back!"

"Yay! Friends! Group hug!" said Fox. He jumped out of the spaceship, arms outstretched, ready to hug the shit out of the Arwings. However, there were a few flaws that would keep him from succeeding. One, you can't hug three Arwings at the same time. Two, gravity. And three, mid-air hugs simply can't be done. And with that Fox fell and landed on the ground, breaking all of the bones in his body. Or something. But it definitely hurts. "I... didn't think that through.."

Peppy just laughed. "Yep, that's our same old Fox."

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Another chapter done! We are rapidly reaching the end of the story. Now, readers, I bestow upon you a challenge! Can you figure out which Great Sea Island the secret is on? If you succeed, you'll get... the satisfaction of knowing something and spoiling part of the story! Oh joy! Anyway, what will happen next? Will Vaati and King Boo ever become the best of bros? Is sanity relative and metaphorical? Do you need common sense to read this story? Now that we know where Link and Young Link is, where's Toon Link? Find out in the next, great, exciting, awesome chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	22. The Other Two Also Gets Development

_"Hey readers! Guess what!" greets Vaati. "For the 3DS Ambassadors, Minish Cap is out! You can finally see me in all of my glory once again!"_

_What the hell?_

_"Oh no, it's the spoilsport! I'm running...!"_

_Get back her- Aw forget it. So anyway, I've been distracted for the past several days by Minish Cap and Fire Emblem. Pretty great stuff! Also, knowing my writing speed, this will probably be posted on Christmas or so... so Merry Christmas, and have a Happy New Year!_

* * *

_Chapter 21: The Other Two Also Gets Development _

* * *

The Great Fox floated leisurely in the Corneria atmosphere, awaiting for the Arwings to return. As soon as they showed up in the distance, the Great Fox opened up it's hangar doors, allowing them inside. The last remaining StarFox member, Krystal, arrives to greet them.

"How was the patrol, boys?" asked Krystal.

"Hey Krystal! Guess who we just found!" said Slippy.

"Hmm... Is it... Leon?"

"No."

"Oh! Is it Falco?" asked Fox. Krystal nearly had a heart attack upon seeing him. Krystal practically glomped him on the spot. Only then did Fox realize that Slippy was talking about him.

"Oh Fox, it's so great to finally see you again!" said Krystal. She turned her head to Pikachu and Meta Knight, who were departing Orbulon's ship (which was surprisingly intact). "Who are your friends?"

"I'm Pikachu and the midget's name is Meta Knight." said Pikachu. He received a slap in the face for the midget comment. "Ow... Hey Fox, is this the Krystal girl you keep talking about in your sleep?"

"Pikachu!" whined Fox. He turned to Krystal and whispered, "By the way... did you break up with me and left me for Slippy?" The toad, who thought it was a good time to have a drink of coffee, immediately had a spit-take.

"No... why do you ask?"

"...No reason..."

"So Fox, what have you and your friends been up to? Knowing you, I assume that you guys have been traveling around, having fun adventures." said Peppy.

"Actually sir, what we've been up to is the exact opposite of _fun_." said Meta Knight. He then proceeds to tell the StarFox Crew about all of the events that's happened leading up to now. Pikachu gave his own input, snarking and adding commentary to some topics, while Fox wanted to reenact things with a puppet show. But he lacked puppets, so he just used his hands. Surprisingly, his faux puppet show was actually pretty decent. If it was made into a movie, it would probably get an average score on Rotten Tomatos. Or something.

"WHO IS THIS TALKING VOICE THAT KEEPS BABBLING ABOUT NONSENSE?" asked ROB 64.

Shut the hell up Not-ROB. Can't you see that this is serious?

"So says the guy ranting on puppet shows." pointed out Pikachu.

Shut up.

"Guys! Electric creature, ROB, weird voice, can we all calm down and stay focused? This sounds like a serious problem!" exclaimed Peppy.

"Yeah! This Giygas guy sounds ten times worse than the aparoids!" said Slippy with a shiver.

"Well, do you guys have any clue where the secret would be? Any ideas would be appreciated." said Pikachu.

"Actually, how about we just wait things out?" suggested Slippy.

"What?"

"FOLLOWING THE PATTERN IN YOUR STORIES, THE VILLAINS WOULD FOLLOW YOU AND RETRIEVE THE SECRET. INSTEAD, WE FOLLOW THEM TO THE SECRET. IT MEANS THAT YOU GUYS COULD RETRIEVE THIS SECRET WHILE DOING AS LESS WORK AS POSSIBLE." explained ROB 64.

"...I didn't understand that, but it's probably a great idea!" said Fox.

"Yeah, but how are we going to find the villains?" asked Pikachu.

"We just wait for a commotion to happen and investigate it." said Meta Knight.

"How can we be so sure that Giygas' flunkies are going to cause a commotion?"

* * *

**INTRUDER ALERT INTRUDER ALERT**

Vaati and King Boo ran/floated down a hallway, running for their lives from a bunch of soldiers inside the military base that they infiltrated.

"This is all your fault! We could have gotten a spaceship from anywhere else but no..." said King Boo.

"You just don't buy spaceships anywhere you want!" yelled Vaati. Yes the hate between the two is rather strong. No one's sure how it started. Was it when Vaati insulted King Boo's cupcake making skills? Or did it start when King Boo called Vaati fat? The truth eludes even me. And I'm the goddamn writer.

"Why can't you just make air or something?"

"I know I can make air anywhere, but I can only do that when there's oxygen molecules, otherwise-"

"You're the worst wind mage ever." muttered King Boo.

"Shut up you terrible excuse for a ghost!" yelled Vaati. Then a laser shot straight through his hat, causing him to cry out not in pain, but in misery because his beloved hat now had a hole in it. "They're closing in! This way!" He lead King Boo into a hangar like room and shut the door behind him. The room was indeed a hangar, with a single ship sitting inside... along with a soldier pointed a laser gun at them.

"Hey! Who are you!" demanded the soldier.

"_Surprise!_" yelled King Boo, popping right behind the soldier, causing him to fall over in shock. The ghost king gave Vaati a smug look, "What was that about me being a terrible ghost?"

The wind mage scowled. "Lets just go. We have to start looking for that secret!" The two piled into the ship (which the soldier conveniently left his keys in) and took off before anyone could get them.

* * *

Back with the heroes and the StarFox crew, everything was... peaceful. They were all sitting around a table, exchanging grand tales of adventure and epicness while enjoying nice, cold drinks. They were disappointed by the fact that Falco wasn't there with them, but since Falco ditched them once before and was a bit of a douche to begin with, no one cared that much. The peace was shattered when Peppy came into the room.

"Good news and bad news." announced Peppy.

"What's the good news?" asked Krystal.

"I think we found us some villains. There was some news about two odd individuals breaking into a military base and stealing a spacecraft." said Peppy.

Pikachu raised his eyebrows, "And the bad news?"

"That's also the bad news. ROB 64, can you pilot the Great Fox?" asked Peppy. The robot nodded and left his seat and headed for the Great Fox's control room. Peppy took his place at the table. "So, what are we doing here?"

"Just telling stories." said Slippy.

"Wait! Now that you're here, we can play a board game!" said Fox.

ROB 64's head popped in through the door, "WHY DIDN'T YOU WANT TO PLAY WHEN I WAS HERE?"

"Robots cheat! Hold on, I think I remember where the party games are - probably. Be right back!" said Fox, leaving the room.

"Hmm... Hey, Fox's comrades? Was Fox always like this?" asked Meta Knight.

"He always acted odd ever since I met him. Personally, I think it's adorable." said Krystal.

"You clearly have not known Fox before." said Peppy. He got a look of admiration on his face. "Back in the early days, before we met you, Fox was a tactical genius. He always knew what to do and he never daydreamed. He was always focused on his tasks."

"Yeah, but since then, he's been a little bit weird. And stupid. ...Please don't tell him that." said Slippy.

"Hold on." said Meta Knight. He started to think, recalling his knowledge of games he played to get to know his fellow Smashers better. The early days they were probably talking about was the first StarFox game to StarFox 64, which took place from 1993 - 1997. Star Fox Adventures, which was when Fox met Krystal, was in 2002. There were no other games between StarFox 64 and Star Fox Adventures...

...unless you counted his appearance in Super Smash Bros, in 1999...

"Oh... uh... excuse me..." said Pikachu, leaving the table. Meta Knight saw the pieces falling in place in his head and decided to follow him.

"Pikachu! Hey you Pikachu!" said Meta Knight. Pikachu stopped, but not before scowling from the Pokemon reference. "Pikachu, do you know anything about Fox's apparent lowered intelligence?"

"I... I don't know what you're talking about." said Pikachu in a dry voice.

"Come now. If those guys are correct, Fox was still a genius in his StarFox 64 days, but became a bumbling idiot around StarFox Adventures. The only thing he did between those times was attending the first Super Smash Brothers tournament. You must know something."

Pikachu hung his head in defeat. "Okay, you got me. ...What happened to Fox... was sort of my fault..."

Meta Knight rose his eyebrow. "Your fault? ...Explain."

* * *

_1999_

Smash Castle didn't exist back then, as there were still too few characters to warrant the building of a whole new castle. Instead, they all stayed within Hyrule Castle, which Zelda was generous enough to donate to the cause. Fox and Pikachu spent one chilly night on top of the castle, looking out at Hyrule fields.

"I really enjoy looking at these nice fields you know. I never get to look at my surroundings when I'm flying around." commented Fox.

"Meh." said Pikachu. He sat down on the castle roof. "I've been traveling around fields and forests for years. You get tired of beauty eventually."

"Yeah... but it's still nice..."

Pikachu got an idea. "Hey Fox, are you bored?"

"...I suppose..."

"Well I got a dare for you." said Pikachu with a smirk. He pointed at the base of the castle, at the river flowing around it (yeah, I don't rememebr if there was a river or not. Just go along with this). "I dare you to jump from here and into that river."

"Sounds interesting." Fox smiled. "What do I get if I do it?"

"You get these trophies." said Pikchu, presenting Fox with some trophies of various Pokemon.

Fox scoffed, "I really don't see the value of trophies. It's not as if they'll become important in the future, where people will be obsessed with collecting them." Ha ha, oh Fox, you don't know how wrong you are._ DRAMATIC IRONY STRIKES AGAIN._

"Come on, I made these myself!" said Pikachu. Fox inspected the trophies.

"Well, they do look rather cool... Can you make them into bobbleheads? They would look nice with my Arwing's windshield."

"Sure thing pal." said Pikachu. Fox looked over the edge of the castle, with a daring smile on his face.

"Alright, here I go!" Fox jumped off Hyrule Castle and made a graceful dive toward the river. It looked as if he wouldn't fail.

Then a tornado formed and spun into Fox, knocking him off course from his target. Fox attempted to sway himself toward the river, but it was too late. He landed on the cold hard ground, head-first, and then collapsed onto the ground, un-moving. Pikachu was understandably shocked.

"Oh._ Shit._" said Pikachu. He ran back into the castle and started running down the various floors, ignoring people who were wondering why he was panicking. He found Fox sprawled out on the ground. Fox wasn't a trophy, so the fall wasn't enough to kill. But it probably did some damage to him. "Oh my god, are you okay Fox?"

Fox got up and blinked. "...Hey Pikachu! Did you know that falling can hurt you?"

"What? Of course falls hurt!"

Fox looked around and saw Death Mountain, with the deadly clouds floating around it. _"OH MY GOD THAT MOUNTAIN IS ON FIRE!_"

"...Fox, are you okay?" asked Pikachu. He touched Fox, which caused him to scream.

"_HOLY CRAP! PIKACHU! YOU'RE A RAT THAT CAN TALK!_" screamed Fox.

"...Uh oh.. this isn't good." said Pikachu nervously. "Fox, what's two times two?"

"Four. Duh."

"And what's eight times eight?"

"...Sixteen?" suggsested Fox. Pikachu gasped as realization hit him.

"Oh my god, what have I done... What have I done... Fox... I'm sorry for daring you to jump off the building..."

"That's okay Pikachu! You're my friend, and I shouldn't stay angry at friends!" said Fox with a big, dumb smile. Pikachu actually started to tear up.

"I'm so sorry... Fox... I'm going to be the best damn friend you ever had."

"Can we get donuts then?"

"Sure thing... pal... I'll get you all the donuts you want..."

"Yay!"

* * *

_2010/2011_

Meta Knight stared at Pikachu, trying not to tear up. "So... the reason you've been hanging with and putting up with Fox is because..."

"Yeah... because of that stupid dare." said Pikachu. "It's funny how fast things can go terribly wrong."

"Don't blame yourself Pikachu. It's the tornado's fault... if spirals of wind can even be blamed..." muttered Meta Knight.

"Hey guys!" greeted Fox. He walked toward them, with a cardboard box in his arm. "I could only find Monopoly! I don't really know how to play, but I'll figure things out!" His cheerful attitude made Pikachu put a reassuring smile on his face.

"I'll help you if you want." said Pikachu.

"Really? Wouldn't that be cheating?"

"That's what friends are for."

"...Cheating?"

Pikachu laughed. "Let's get going, you big idiot." Meta Knight stared at the two as they walked off.

Although no one could see it, Meta Knight smiled.

* * *

"Give me the controls! I can probably drive better!" said King Boo.

Vaati pushed him away. "You can hardly do anything yourself without anyone threatening you!"

"...Yeah. You have a point." The ghost bitterly lounged into the backseat. "So, do you know where we're going?"

"Well..." Vaati closed his eyes. "Mewtwo shared some of his knowledge with me. There's some odd places in this universe to check out."

"Is that odd?" asked King Boo. He pointed at a giant bird like spacecraft, which was flying toward them. Vaati tried to fly out of it's way but King Boo started to fumble with the controls as well. "Here, let me try!"

"Damn it are we really continuing this now?" growled Vaati. They continued to bicker long enough for the bird to fly right through them. They expected a crash, followed by a horrible yet highly entertaining explosion. Instead however, there was no impact. Instead, they found themselves in an odd place. ...Actually, odd would be an understatement. They were somewhere in space, with various planets with faces. That were staring directly at them. To make things even more weirder than it is, everything was all wavy, like ocean waves (obviously). Oh yeah, and there were giant pieces of paper flying at them. Vaati jerked the ship away from the advancing... enemies?

"Shoot them!" screamed King Boo.

"This thing doesn't have missiles!" screamed Vaati.

"What kind of military fighter plane does not carry weapons?"

"I know! What a terrible excuse for a plane!" agreed Vaati. He dodged sheet upon sheet of paper, which was pretty easy. Then, to hammer home that this is the weirdest place ever, a giant slot machine appeared.

"...Oh I get it! I must be at home, sleeping and dreaming like a baby!" said King Boo. The giant slot machine made a noise and spat out a giant coin at them. The ship spun around, bumping King Boo around. "Okay, maybe this isn't a dream."

The slot machine spat coins at them at a fast pace, which Vaati couldn't keep up with. "Oh great! I'm going to die looking ugly and with a hole in my hat! How embarrassing!"

"Hold on... Got it!" King Boo picked up a bomb-looking object and phased out of the ship and into deep-space. Since he was a ghost, he was unaffected by the lack of oxygen. He held up the bomb up high and threw it past all of the coins (apparantly, physics don't work for him either) and at the slot machine. A brilliant explosion happened, engulfing the slot machine in red smoke.

"...Okay, maybe I'm the one who's dreaming. King Boo, did you just do something awesome?" asked Vaati.

The ghost blinked, shocked by what he had just done. "I'm just as surprised as you are."

The wind mage looked at the red smoke... wait, red? "Uh... King, what bomb did you use?"

The ghost popped back into the ship so Vaati could hear him. "The Giygas bomb."

"You fool! For all we know, we detonated this thing in a remote part of this universe, away from civilization! Giygas will be disappointed, and even worse, he'll blame _me_ for this!" cried Vaati.

"Can't we just lie and say we blew it up over Corneria?" suggested King Boo. "Look, the smoke is even clearing up!"

"...Huh?" Vaati looked back at the slot machine and was horrified to discover that it was sucking all of the smoke in. Suddenly, the crank on it's side pulled as it emitted a glowing light. "Hm. This doesn't look good at all."

And they started to scream as something incomprehensible happened.

* * *

The players all sat around the Monopoly board, having a relatively peaceful game aside from a few fistfights over what piece they got to use. It was currently Pikachu's turn. He rolled the dice and got a six.

"Okay. One, two, thr-" Then an alarm ran throughout the Great Fox. This shocked (ha ha pun) Pikachu so much that he accidently let out a burst of electricity, turning the game board into ash. Everybody groaned. Not because of the danger, but because Pikachu destroyed their game.

"Thanks a lot pal!" yelled Slippy.

"Way to ruin the game." grumbled Fox.

Krystal looked at Meta Knight, "Is Fox ever serious about problems like this?"

"...Not really." said Meta Knight. "What's going on?"

"I HAVE A DIRECT FEED FROM GENERAL PEPPER." announced ROB 64 over intercom. A screen swung down from the ceiling, showing an image of a dog wearing a sweet general's hat.

"StarFox, we need your help again. Slippy, Peppy, Krysta- Fox! Is that really you?" said General Pepper.

"Hi general! I'm alive!" waved Fox.

"Well, now's not the time for formalities. You see, something terrible is going on. Strange wormholes are suddenly appearing all over the galaxy, if not the universe. A few of our ships were sucked in, but they escaped shortly afterward. They told me that they were teleported to somewhere Out of the Dimension... All they could say is that something weird is going on. I need you all to investigate it. General Pepper out." The screen slid back into the ceiling.

"This definitely has Giygas' name written all over it." said Pikachu.

"...You know, this reminds me of that one time I went into a trippy dimension and fought a slot machine." commented Fox.

"That's nice Fox." sighed Peppy. "Well, we should all get ready."

"I'll start some matinence!" announced Slippy.

"I'll see if there's some extra Arwings for your friends." said Krystal.

"It's fine. We'll just ride with Fox. Being.. small... has it's advantages." said Meta Knight.

"Hah! You admitted that you're a midget!" laughed Pikachu. Meta Knight smacked him yet again.

"RE-ESTABLISHING CO-ORDINATES. DIMENSIONAL ANOMOLY DETECTED. BE PREPARED." said ROB 64. The Great Fox flew throgh space, seeking out said dimensional anomoly. While ROB 64 piloted, the others prepared their Arwings. Peppy managed to finish repairs and got in his Arwing. Peppy and Krystal got into their own individual Arwings while Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu piled into Fox's.

"Testing communication link." said Peppy over a radio... thingy... codec? Let's just call it a radio.

"I hear you Peppy." responded Krystal.

"I'm ready!" announced Slippy.

"Remember, follow my lead!" commanded Fox.

"NEARING ANOMOLY." announced ROB 64. The Great Fox stopped in front of what looked like a black hole, except it was colorful, with red being the most dominant color. Suddenly, the giant spaceship found itself being pulled toward it.

"Alright, let's do this." said Pikachu.

"Hey! I'm supposed to be saying that! I'm the leade-" Fox whined, but then the ship entered the black hole, transporting it Out of This Dimension...

_To be continued..._

* * *

_In other news, I've started another fic called 'A Smashing Alternate Reality Gang War'. Yes, I know, it's a dumb title. I'm smacking myself right now for giving it such a name. If you have the time, please read that as well._

_So, we get to learn more about Fox and Pikachu's relationship. Cool. So, has any of you figured out where the Wind Waker secret is? I bet it still eluuuudes you. Also, no questions this time, because I have Christmas-y stuff to do. So, once again, Merry Christmas!_

_Also, I am quickly approaching the 100,000 word mark! By the next chapter, that barrier will be surpassed. So get some drinks, a party hat, and be prepared for the next chapter!_


	23. Things Somehow Get Stranger

_Happy New Year's everyone! I finally got a new laptop, so hopefully I can find more time to write!_

* * *

_Chapter 22: Things Somehow Get Stranger_

* * *

In the last chapter of Attack of Giygas, Fox reunites with the rest of the Star Fox team sans Falco, we learn why Pikachu is best bros with Fox, and Vaati and king Boo triggered the Giygas bomb in Out of This Dimension, which was already weird to begin with. This ended up causing reality to break down and **BZZT INTRO NOT FOUND**.

"Wow. This is so weird that even Hyper's descriptions are weirder than usual." commented Pikachu. The Great Fox found itself in Out of Dimension... however, it has changed. The smiling planets are now laughing, sending sounds of inhumane laughter throughout the dimension. Instead of it being all wavy, everything looked perfectly porportioned... but every several seconds, a point in space would skew. Many spaceships briefly flashed into reality before flashing out, no doubt confusing the people who were riding inside. Lastly, there were giant, angry sheets of paper that were folding themselves into paper swans, flying toward them to peck them with their paper beaks. And that's terrible.

"ACTIVATING GREAT FOX'S LASERS." announced ROB. The cannon at the front of the Great Fox glowed and then shot a large laser, cutting down a large amount of swans, which was only a small percentage of the swans present. The Arwings flew out of the Great Fox and headed in the direction of the swans. They fired a barrage of shots at them, decimating the paper into flamy bits.

"Aah! Help me!" cried Slippy, being chased by several swans. Fox rolled his eyes and shot at the swans. "Thanks Fo- HEY WATCH IT." Fox shot an additional laser that hit Slippy's wing.

"Sorry." said Fox innocently. "Okay... what do we do now?"

"Some leader you are, asking what to do..." said Pikachu.

"We should look for the cause of this. Split up!" said Peppy. The Arwings took off in multiple directions to cover more ground... er... space... weird place thing. They searched around for ten minutes, but they found nothing except more deadly paper swans.

"Anything?" asked Krystal over the radio.

"Nothing yet." said Peppy.

"Nope." said Slippy.

"I found string." said Fox.

"So far, this search hasn't yielded anything." admtited Meta Knight. Suddenly, a beeping noise went off in all of the Arwings. "What's this?"

"It's an incoming transmission!" shouted Peppy. A screen in the Arwings turned on, showing King Boo and Vaati, who were clearly in a panic.

"_OH MY GOD WE FINALLY HAVE HELP!_" screamed King Boo with joy.

"Hold on... isn't that..." said Pikachu, taking a notice in Vaati.

"Hey! That's Ghirahim! You know, we met him in the Animal Crossing universe where you threw Gyroid into a..." Fox suddenly stopped and started crying. "GYYYRRROOOIIID! _WHY DID PIKACHU HAVE TO DROWN YOU WHY?_"

Vaati twitched his eye before exploding into rage. "_MY NAME IS VAATI! V-A-A-T-I! VAATI!_ Do not confuse me for that fashion-misfit Ghirahim! My choice of clothing is more fabulous than his!" He stopped his rant as an explosion sounded behind him, making the mage look nervously over his shoulder.

"Hey, like can you guys help us out?" asked King Boo. Vaati then shoved King Boo out of the way.

"No! We don't accept help from heroes! We can do this all by oursel-" The screen suddenly cut to static. Everyone had a brief spell of awkward silence until Peppy spoke up.

"Even though the transmission is cut, I still have the signal. Should we follow it?" asked Peppy.

"Hell, it's the only lead we have." shrugged Pikachu.

"Why not? Let's see where this leads." said Meta Knight.

"I'll agree to go if Fox wants to." said Krystal.

"So do I!" said Slippy.

Fox thought about it before putting on a daring smile. "Alright! Let's go team!" Peppy took the lead, guiding everyone else in the direction of the signal. The Great Fox followed behind, shooting down anything that dare comes near them. Together, they were a formidable force that could take on anything.

They finally came to the source of the signal: they saw a small, almost totaled ship flying around a giant, bizarre slot machine. There were several icons on the reels, most notably a 7 and a Giygas face. The StarFox crew failed to see the problem.. until the slot machine pulled it's crank and shot dozens of coins. It didn't seem so serious... but then the coins blew up, nearly taking out the almost destroyed ship. Luckily, it was too distracted by the ship to notice the Arwings. ROB 64 took the chance to drop something in front of Fox's Arwing.

"THIS IS A SMART BOMB. USE IT JUST IN CASE WHAT I DO DOESN'T WORK." said ROB 64. Fox's Arwing grabbed the Smart Bomb as ROB 64 pressed a button in The Great Fox's control room. The Great Fox's laser cannon started to charge once more, gathering massive amounts of energy before shooting a beam at the slot machine, which took the hit directly, illuminating the space around it with a brilliant light. Then it subsided and... it turns out that the slot machine didn't have a single scratch on it. So much for that.

The StarFox team was in disbelief. Vaati and King Boo was in disbelief. ROB 64 tried to comprehend disbelief but failed. The slot machine, if possible, would have had a troll face plastered on it. And then, to return the favor, the slot machine shot a missile at the Great Fox. It exploded, taking out the giant spaceship's wing.

"ROB! Turn back! Before the Great Fox and you get destroyed!" said Peppy.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?"

"We can handle ourselves. Hopefully." said Krystal nervously. The Great Fox turned and flew off, albeit tilting off to the side. The Arwings split off as the slot machine shot another round of coins, this time accompanied by missiles. They all shot at the slot machine, but to no avail. Some shots caused the spinners to stop, but they were seemingly irrelevant. Meta Knight then took notice of the fact that Vaati and King Boo were still hanging around the slot machine, despite clearly wanting to get out of there. Meta Knight played around with the Arwing buttons until he re-established the communication with their ship. "Vaati."

The wind mage stopped looking scared. Instead, he got a look of joy on his face. "Yay! You remember my name!"

"How come you don't want to talk to me? I'm the Great King Boo! Bwhaha...cough.. cough..." said King Boo, displaying his incompetency.

"Go away." The ghost did just that, grumbling. "Vaati, is the secret inside of that thing?"

"Uh... no. What gave you that idea?" said Vaati.

"If the slot machine didn't have it, then why would you still stick around?"

"...Okay fine! We heard this whispering noise when we flew near it! Happy? Good." Vaati cut off the transmisson again.

"So... it's inside of the slot machine?" asked Pikachu. He turned to look at the slot machine, which was shooting a missile at Slippy. "...This... uh... I have nothing sarcastic to say. I'm at a loss for words."

"Wait... Hey! I do recognize that thing!" said Fox.

"Really?"

"Well... I might have been dreaming at the time... or... anyway! We have to try to get the rollers to stop on all sevens!" said Fox.

"Jackpot." Pikachu said to himself, thinking of what would happen if they did that. "Hey, are the rest of you getting this?"

"We are! Let's try and get this thing over with!" said Peppy. The Arwings, which were previously retreating , turned around to launch a counter-attack against the infernal giant device. They shot at the rollers, trying to get them to stop. They managed to get the first one to stop on a 7. They got the second roller to slow down to 7. And then Slippy made the last shot, making the last roller stop... on a Giygas face.

"**_SLIPPY!_**" yelled pretty much everyone, including King Boo and Vaati, who contacted them specifically just to yell at him.

"Sorry! I'm terrible at gambling!" cried Slippy. The slot machine rollers started to spin again, but not before unleashing a larger barrage of missles at all of the ships. One exploded near Fox's Arwing, shattering the windows. The trio gasped and held their breath, waiting for the cold harsh space to strangle the air out of them. However, by the looks of things, the place did not run on logic or basic science, as they discovered that they could breathe totally fine. Another missile finally hit the stolen spaceship, blowing it up. However, King Boo managed to grab Vaati and float out of the window before they got injured.

"Hey! Doing this is a lot faster than flying in that piece of garbage!" commented King Boo.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!" yelled Vaati.

"I didn't feel like carrying you." said King Boo honestly.

"Okay. That... didn't work out well." said Fox, coughing. "But come on team! Let's do this again!" He rallied the StarFox team once again, sending a barrage of lasers at the slot machine. The rollers were starting to stop once again. The first one stopped on 7, the second stopped on 7, and the third one stopped...

...on 7.

A hole in the slot machine opened up. They all assumed that it was the slot machine's weak point and opened fire on it. It was indeed it's weak point, as the slot machine started to shake and break down. Oh yeah, and it started glowing. And if it starts glowing, you know it's going to explode. But then, it revealed one last trick...

The hole was not just a weak point, but it was also another weapon. Like a vacuum, it started to suck in the air around it. King Boo flew as fast as he could to fight getting sucked in, crying about vacuums and haunted mansions and Luigi. Fox's Arwing was close to the slot machine, but it easily fought getting sucked in. However, Pikachu and Meta Knight weren't so lucky. Unlike Fox, they weren't strapped into a comfortable seat, so they were pulled up into the air and they were being pulled toward the machine.

"Fox! Help us!" cried Meta Knight.

"HEY! FOX!" yelled Pikachu. He turned his head to look at the hole and gulped as he saw buzzsaws within it. They were breaking down, but a lot of them were still operable. "OH MY GOD." He then immediately lost hope in the situation. He truly believed that he was going to die. And so, he decided to atone himself. "Dear Arceus, I'm sorry for stealing food from wild Pokemon over the years, I'm sorry for cheating agaisnt many, many people during the Smash Bros tournament, I'm sorry for giving Fox brain damage..."

Fox sat horrified as he saw his two best friends head for their deaths. He imagined himself in Pikachu's shoes, watching himself fall off Hyrule Castle, wishing that he could save himself. He gathered all of the thinking power he had left... and engineered a perfect solution. "Hey! You stay away from my friends!"

He flew in between Meta Knight and Pikachu and the slot machine. He tilted the Arwing so that it's bottom would be facing the slot machine and the cockpit would face the heroes, who promptly landed inside of it safely. Fox then picked up what ROB 64 gave him: the Smart Bomb. "Eat this!" He threw the Smart Bomb over the wing of the Arwing and it was sucked into the hole before the Arwing...

The slot machine exploded, finally putting an end to it's reign of terror. The Arwing would have been destroyed, but instead, due to the angle it was positioned, it was just blown away, with the bottom taking most of the force. Fox held onto Pikachu and Meta Knight until they stopped barreling around.

"That... that was a well executed rescue attempt. Bravo and thanks Fox." said Meta Knight, with faint admiration.

Pikachu was at a loss for words.

Fox just assumed he would have said something complimenting. "It was nothing guys! All I did was... thinking... yes, thinking!"

"Wait, what's happening now?" asked Meta Knight. The explosion stopped exploding; instead, it imploded. All of the light and fire condensed into one giant orb of light, which was big enough for a ship to fly through...

"Quick! Through there!" said Vaati, pointing at the orb. King Boo swooped downward toward the orb and suddenly disappeared into it. Fox followed after them in his Arwing, leaving Fox's team, who were completely silent and baffled.

"...That was awesome!" said Slippy, purely to break the silence.

* * *

Fox, Meta Knight, Pikachu, Vaati, and King Boo were in the white room once again. The heroes glared at the villains, wanting to beat the ever-living crap out of each other. The benelovent Crazy Hand looked at them, acting somewhat giddy.

"Wow! I can't believe so many of you beat that thing! You guys deserve a cookie!" said Crazy Hand. He then threw a single chocalate chip cookie at them, expecting all of them to eat it. King Boo scoops up the cookie and eats it before anyone even tried to reach it.

"...I wanted the cookie..." said Fox.

"...Crazy, what the hell was that all about? Can you explain that thing and... place and..._ LOOK JUST TELL US WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!_" yelled Pikachu.

"Oh, it's a long story, so sit down and listen." Everyone remained standing up. "**I SAID SIT DOWN AND LISTEN.**" Everyone started to sit. Crazy Hand cleared his... throat and started his story. "Once upon a time, it was my bro's birthday, and I wanted to make him _THE BEST PRESENT EVER!_ So, I made him this giant slot machine for recreational purposes. But a regular slot machine was too boring. So I gave it missiles and stuff, and made it to upgrade if it absorbs power!" Vaati briefly glared at King Boo. "My brother liked it at first until it started to attack everyone in Subspace, so he used Subspace power to create a pocket dimension, where he stuffed the slot machine in to remake reality however way it pleases! Then, when we invented these secrets, we stuffed one secret inside the thing and made a flying bird in an asteroid field act as a teleporter there! And that's why I don't brush my teeth before bed."

"...For some reason, this absolutely makes no sense yet completely makes sense at the same time." said Meta Knight.

"I don't get it." said Fox.

"_TOO BAD!_" yelled Crazy Hand. He then flicked him, sending him screaming toward the southern end of the room... and then Fox landed back into the group, coming in flying from the east.

"Can you give us the secret? You know, before my brain explodes from the Mind Screws?" asked King Boo.

"Hold on... are we tied in secrets now?" asked Pikachu.

"Pretty much." Vaati smiled smugly. "But we're still going to win and take over this dimension."

Meta Knight faced Crazy Hand, pointing at Vaati. "See? He's outright admitting that they're trying to take over the dimension!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you because I don't have ears."

Meta Knight finally lost his patience. "_YOU HEARD EVERYTHING ELSE YOU-_" Crazy Hand smacks him deep into the ground... which caused him to appear right next to King Boo (whom he was nowhere near originally) without any indication as to how.

"Now, let's give you guys some secrets, shall I?" said Crazy Hand, pointing at all of them to bestow the secret once more.

* * *

"Hey! They're finally awake!" exclaimed Slippy. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu groggily woke up to see the rest of the StarFox crew in front of them. They were all back inside the Great Fox, which was nowhere near Out of This Dimension.

"Amazing work Fox. You're definitely becoming more like your father!" said Peppy.

"Yeah! That was great!" complimented Slippy.

"Now that you got to secret, maybe you could stay with us for a few days. We haven't seen you in such a long time..." said Krystal.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible." said Meta Knight. "We're tied in secrets with Giygas' side. If we waste even a day or two, they may obtain the last secret." All of Fox's friends groaned, disappointed that he was going to leave so quickly. Fox got on his knees and started pleading to meta Knight.

"But can we stay tonight Meta Knight? Please? These are my friends and girlfriend!" whined Fox.

Meta Knight rolled his eyes. "Oh fine."

"Fox jumped up in the air like a kangaroo. "Hooray!"

"Yep. Let's go waste our time playing Clue and all that crap." muttered Pikachu.

"CAN I PLAY THIS TIME?" asked ROB 64. And then everyone actually went to play Clue and all that crap. They spent the whole night playing various board games, including Twister and Sudoku (they were running out of games to play). Their night of playing board games was uninterrupted, save for General Pepper calling in to congratulate them on their good work. As for Out of This Dimension, no one was sure what ended up happening to that place. The random wormholes stopped appearing, and there was no sign of the odd bird thing that transported people there. But then again, who cares? In reality, with the secret keeper gone, Crazy Hand saw no point in keeping the pocket dimension around, so he decided to get rid of it and all traces of it, so no more weirdness would plague the StarFox universe. Except for the standard weirdness. And as for King Boo and Vaati...

King Boo drifted lazily through space, looking around for a plot hole to take them home. Vaati wore a helmet he stole from the craft and was hanging on King Boo's ghost tail.

"Can you look faster? Space is really cold." said Vaati.

"Hey! I have to do all the work and flying!" said King Boo.

"Well I can't fly! The laws of space does not allow wind to-"

"Yeah yeah laws of space, I just think you're lazy."

"So says the lazy oaf himself!"

"Will you two stop arguing?" asked Giygas. Vaati and King Boo gasped, noticing that they were suddenly in Smash Castle. They guessed that they passed through a plot hole and they were too busy arguing to notice. Giygas' eyes lit up. "Do you have the secret?"

"Yes sir! And... uh oh." said King Boo, noticing the evil look he was giving them. Giygas painfully extracted information from both of them. The two were pissed afterwards, but they were glad that they finally got it over with.

"Well well well... We finally have the second to last secret." gloated Giygas.

* * *

Master Hand awoke in his bed with a jerk. Doc Prime quickly took notice and went to check on him.

"What's wrong sir?" asked Doc Prime.

"I just feel as if an evil group is very close to invading Subspace and ruining the peace of this dimension." said Master Hand.

"Well, you did leave Crazy in charge of the secrets..." pointed out Doc Prime.

Master Hand rested on his bed. "Yeah... Sometimes I think that leaving a Mite in charge would have been a better choice." He turned toward his Primid doctor. "Just in case though, can you try and rally up a militia force? Just in case such a thing actually happens?"

"No need. We've been prepared for it."

"Since when?"

"Since you put Crazy in charge."

* * *

"So, just one more secret, right?" asked Vaati.

"That's right." said Giygas. "Gather everyone here. It's time to plot our attack on the Great Sea."

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Well, I didn't get to hit 100,000 words like I wanted, but we're almost there! Next chapter, guaranteed! So, how were the StarFox chapters? I thought that they moved on a little faster than the other chapters, but personally, I thought their quality was better than previous chapters. I think it's because that the last several chapters have been more serious. And that's not good, because I need the crack humor to stay warm for the winter. What's your opinion on the matter? Also, have any of you figured out which Great Sea island the secret is on? It's actually a pretty simple riddle when you think about it._

_What role will Young Link have in the next chapter? Will we finally find out what GAG is up to? Who will get Samus; Pit or Snake? Will she even love either of them? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	24. Everyone Gathers

_What's up people! Today is a milestone for this story: this story is 100,000 words long now! And stories that are 100,000 words long tend to be, er, long. So that's a grand milestone for me and a milestone for you guys for sticking with this story over the months! If my update schedule continues to be a chapter every one or two weeks, I predict that this story would be wrapped up in February or March. Fun fact: I was winging the entire story up until the WarioWare chapters. From here, everything will actually be planned out._

_Also, are you enjoying the more serious route the story has taken recently? Bwhaha, I'm such an evil bastard._

_And now, for what you were all waiting for, the next chapter._

* * *

_Chapter 23: Everyone Gathers_

* * *

Ridley flew around the outside of Smash Castle, feeling the winds whip around him as he soars. He didn't fly for fun very much when he was in the Space Pirates, but with a lot more flexible schedule, it gave him the time to do stupid things like making loop-de-loops in the air.

"Whee!" shouted Ridley with glee as he did precisely that. Suddenly, he stopped flying, being pulled back toward the castle by the wind. He smashed in through the window and landed at Vaati's feet. "You know, calling my name would have been better."

"Sorry." apologized Vaati. "But Giygas is holding a meeting right now."

Ridley gasped. "Does that mean-?"

"Yes. One more secret left."

* * *

Mewtwo sat quietly in the Melee characters room, trying to read a book while the rest of the Melee cast did other hi-jinks: Pichu was punching a Pikachu punching bag, Dr. Mario was giving teddy bears cybernetic limbs, and Roy made a campfire in the middle of the room, throwing various things in to amuse himself.

Mewtwo looked up from his book. "Has it ever occured to you that the room could possibly set on fire?"

"But the flames are so comforting..." said Roy.

"_I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR THROAT PIKACHU! I'M GOING TO SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT AND RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND-_" said Pichu as he mercilessly beat the punching bag.

"If you actually do that, can I have the body parts?" asked Dr. Mario.

"Why must I be surrounded by nutbars..." muttered Mewtwo, returning to his reading. Then the door was pushed open by wind, which caused: Roy's fire to go out, Pichu's punching bag and Mewtwo's book to go flying out the window, and Dr. Mario to get cut by his own sharp instruments. Vaati came in and was about to say something until he saw the angry looks on their faces.

"There's a meeting, please dont kill me." said Vaati before running for his life. Mewtwo sighed and got up.

"Come along guys. We have a meeting to attend." said Mewtwo. His Melee comrades obediently followed him as he left the room.

* * *

"Okay Lucas, I'll say a word and you say the first thing that comes to mind." said Ashley. "Dimension."

"Take over." answered Lucas.

"Smashers."

"Annihilate."

"Me."

"Obey."

"ROB's head."

"Kick."

Ashley placed her arm around Lucas as a mock hug. "Very good Lucas. You're shaping up to be the perfect servant. No qualms about killing, very obedient, completely fearless..."

"Surprise!" yelled King Boo, popping in right behind Lucas. Lucas didn't even scream; he just collapsed on the spot. Ashley arranges him in a comfortable position, shaking her head, before glaring at King Boo.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, the boss is holding a meeting, everyone's attending. And speaking of everyone, where's that Jeff kid?"

* * *

"Hey Jeff. Come on. I have been flying around all day doing stuff! The least you could do is come out!" whined King Boo, talking to the ground. To any normal person, he would have looked insane. But this was the ground in the junkyard, so at the very least, it makes sense to us. Jeff's head pops up and looks up at King Boo.

"I don't want to go."

"Oh come on! Giygas might actually eat me if I don't bring you!"

"Yeah, but he'll eat me for being a failure." said Jeff. "Besides, I like it in the ground." Orbulon's head came out briefly and faced Jeff.

"Just a few minutes ago you were complaining about the lack of human electricity." said Orbulon before heading back into the ground.

"Oh quiet you."

"Hey, maybe if you help out in the Wind Waker campaign, you could redeem yourself." suggested King Boo.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Giygas and pretty much everyone hates me, but he still saw purpose in me!" exclaimed King Boo.

"Oh. Then in that case..." Jeff briefly struggled, trying to get himself out of the ground. However, he made absolutely no movement whatsoever. "...Hey, a little help here?"

* * *

Vaati opened the door. Porky looked up at him and scowled. "Gee, thanks for finally remembering me guys. You're the best."

* * *

Vaati and Porky were the last to enter the meeting room, while everyone else was sitted at the meeting table, which now had ROB's head in the middle that served as an ornament and a reminder that a betrayal would lead to a swift and horrible death. Ridley munched on a cupcake, Mewtwo got back to reading, Pichu, Roy, and Dr. Mario is somehow having a three way thumb fight, Ashley was telling Lucas why she wanted to destroy Wal-Mart, King Boo flipped his crown in his hand, Jeff leaned back in his chair, trying to look cool, Giygas himself was waiting for Vaati and Porky to take their seats, and Tom Nook...

"Where's the raccoon?" asked Porky.

"I'm standing right next to you." said Tom Nook, spontaneously appearing right next to them. Vaati freaked out as usual, but everyone else just widened their eyes. Everyone was used to his teleporting hijinks, and they long since given up trying to learn his secret, deciding to just chalk it up to shenanigans. The last three took their seats as Giygas cleared his throat.

"It's been many weeks, if not months. Together, we have already obtained six of the seven secrets that will lead us to the center of this dimension... With the knowledge I've gathered from you all, I only know of the general area, and some basic facts: the center of the dimension is a gateway into Subspace, which is the only entrance into the realm unless a being from there opens their own portal into our realm. Limitless power lies inside Subspace, along with gateways into the other universes. With that, we will be able to conquer the dimension!" said Giygas.

"...You forgot to mention that King Boo and I got the second to last Dimensional Secret." whined Vaati. Everyone except Giygas gasped upon realizing this: King Boo, the most useless of them all, obtained a third of their secrets.

"Ha! Does this mean I finally get to be respected?" asked King Boo.

"No." said Giygas coldly, disappointing the ghost. "Now then, we still have one last Dimensional Secret to get, and this time, I need all of your help."

"Wait, the Mario universe is at least a thousand times bigger than the Great Sea and you still made me do things mysel-" complaiend King Boo.

Giygas silenced him by throwing Pichu ("Why do you keep throwing me?") at him. "Shut up. Now then, as you know, the teleporters don't accept me as a corporeal entity to teleport and the blasted author is starting to work against us, so plot holes are out of the question. As a result, I will instead begin my trek to the center of the dimension."

"How are you going to do that?" asked Ridley.

"I pilot New Pork City there." Giygas pointed out the window, showing New Pork City floating right next to Smash Castle. Everyone started wondering how they managed to forget that there was a giant floating city right next to them. "I will combine it with this castle to create a battleship of a sorts, to ward off anyone that tries to oppose us. But of course, I will need weaponry. Roy."

Roy looked at him. "Yes boss?"

"You're an expert into incendiary weapons, right?"

"Yeah! They're so awesome! If I didn't love my flaming sword so much, I can make a flamethrower that can roast a son of a bitch in an hour!"

"Then you'll be helping some workers develop weapons. As will you, Jeff."

Jeff gasped. "Does that mean you appreciate me? Have I redeemed myself?"

"Yes. Just don't screw up or say you don't like Nintendo ever again." grumbled Giygas. "As for the rest of you, gather your armies or minions and whatever. We need to cover a large area of the Great Sea if we want to aquire the secret quickly."

"Um, sir? Hyper recently found out that I'm just a member of the Space Pirates and not a leader, so I sort of don't have an army." excused Ridley.

"That's fine. Space pirates sound like the type of people who would betray me." said Giygas. He used his finger to make a slicing motion in front of his throat while pointing at ROB's head.

"And I don't have a large army anymore. Something about desertions? I forget, I was too busy watching TV." said King Boo.

"I'm not surprised."

"My Pig Mask Army will crush everything under their piggy boots!" laughed Porky. "At first, they will laugh at our stupid uniforms, but then we open up a can of kick ass on them! We will oink in triumph as we stomp on the bodies of enemies! I will stand tall and proud over my soldiers with my spider legs, laughing at people's misfortune!"

"...Were... you laughing at my misfortune back then?" asked Lucas with contempt in his voice.

"Maybe."

"Ignore him Lucas. You're going to go help me gather some of the rabid WarioWare fans. They'll do anything I ask, as long as I promise them a free copy of the next game." said Ashley. She then leaned in to whisper "You can kill him after we take over this dimension."

"Yay! You're the best, Ashley!" said Lucas, hugging the witch girl. Ashley decided to return it just to make him happy.

"Aw, isn't that cute?" mused Vaati. "I won't even bring my soldiers to the Great Sea; perhaps I still have a charismatic hold over the monsters of Hyrule."

"We don't have an army, but we have something even better." Dr. Mario then said in a dramatic voice. "Surgery."

"I can't feel my legs..." muttered Pichu.

"Giygas, don't you have Link stationed in the Great Sea? What will he do?" asked Mewtwo.

* * *

Link was finally going to make his move: assassinate one of the GAG leaders, Snake. He was going on a mission with him to a place called Stone Watcher Island, to look for [REDACTED]. Oh come on! How are you guys censoring my description! Ugh, I never understood the fourth wall these days. One moment it's all peachy keen and the next every character is coming into your room to host a Mario Kart tournament. So anyway, Link would find it easy to kill Snake. Afterward, he could just pretend to have been beaten up by a monster and then claim that the same monster ate Snake. It was foolproof.

But there was one little snag.

As they neared the island, they heard voices.

"Hey! Over here!" yelled a voice.

"It looks like there's people on the island." said Snake.

"Thank you Captain Obvious. Now head over there so I can kill them to- say hi." said Link. Snake piloted the boat near the sands and saw Jigglypuff, Falco, and Young Link heading towards them.

"Snake! It's you!" said Jigglypuff. She then took one look at Link and took a step back. Likewise, Snake spotted Young Link and pulled out a grenade. Falco heard Snake pull out the pin, so he tackled Snake, causing the grenade to fly into the air and explode harmlessly.

"Don't touch this guy! Young Link's an innocent man!" said Falco.

"Oh. Sorry for the misunderstanding." apologized Snake.

Young Link looked at Link, who made a fake cheerful wave. "However, one Link isn't innocent. One of them is working on Giygas' side."

Snake realized the implications of this. "Hold on, this Link can't be on Giygas' side. After he escaped to this place, he's been working with us, the Galaxies Against Giygas. Not once has he objected to orders nor has he shown a change in personality." Yes, Link was a really good faker.

"So... does this mean that Toon Link is the evil one?" asked Jigglypuff.

"I'm not surprised. That guy's always so damn happy and cartoony... it's unnatural." said Falco.

"Glad that you guys are okay. Sorry that you're blind though Falco." commented Link. Snake got some supplies from the small boat to throw a small feast. He then contacted Samus over codec (let's just say that he connected with her helmet) and told her to send a ship to get them, as his and Young Link's boats were too small to hold all of them. Snake and Link expressed disappointment over not finding what they originally came to find, but they were glad to reunite with some more friends.

It was now night time. Link stared up at the moon, waiting for everyone to go to sleep so he could kill them. He would then make a drastic escape on Young Link's boat, laughing like a maniac. It would most likely get him caught, but to him, it would be so worth it.

"Hey." greeted Snake. Link raised his hand to wave... and then found a missile launcher pointed at him. "Link, you're under arrest."

"Ha ha, I don't know what you're talking about." laughed Link.

"You're the evil Link! You did a very nice job fooling all of us, but you've made one slip-up that revealed your charade." growled Snake.

"Oh?" Link was authentically curious on how Snake figured him out.

"You knew Falco was blind before he even told us. And with the way he ran toward me, it looked like he saw me pulling out the grenade, rather than have heard me pulling on the pin. I bet you're somehow in contact with Giygas; that's how you knew. But now I know. So why don't you lay down your weapons and wait for 'our' reinforcements to arrive?" said Snake.

Link started to laugh and clap. "Bravo! You're certainly smarter than the rest of those idiots! Too bad that you're not on Master Giygas' side, because you're going to die right here."

Snake smirked. "Bring it on."

He fired a missile at Link, who pulled out his shield and completely took the blow. Link put away his cover and ran toward Snake, sword drawn. He slashed his sword downward, but then Snake used the missile launcher to stop it. With a quick movement, he swung a knife at the former hero, making him jump away. Now he was giggling like a full-out psychopath.

"Oh boy! This is getting fun!" laughed Link.

"Talk about nuts." muttered Snake to himself, running toward Link, armed with only a knife. He gracefully swung his blade at Link, who usually dodged and returned a sword slice at him. Snake thrust his knife toward Link, in an attempt to stab him. Link jumped away... but not before leaving a bomb on the ground. "Crap."

The bomb exploded, sending Snake off of his feet and onto his back. Link approached Snake and... let's just say that he got stab happy. After a full minute of stabbing, Snake's blood was everywhere and the mercenery was desperately clinging to life.

"Any last words?" asked Link sadistically.

Snake thought about it. "Go rot in hell you lunatic. Say hi to The Sorrow for me." Link nodded and swung his sword downward, killing Snake. Suddenly, a fairy emerged from a pouch Snake had on him. Before it could unleash it's happy, healing rays, Link grabbed it and crushed it in his hand.

"Hmm. That was disappointingly easy. ...Ah well! Time to kill the others!" said Link. He went to the water for a bit and cleaned his sword. He turned... and then he was knocked down to the ground by Young Link, who had his sword out, which was pointing at the other Link's throat.

"You're going to pay for that you know." said Young Link casually, as if Link had just stolen the last cookie instead of killing one of his friends. Before he could perform sweet justice, there was the sound of energy discharging.

Samus had arrived. Pit was standing right next to her, looking wide-eyed at the scene along with a few GAG members.

Young Link realized what the scene looked to them: he had just killed Snake and was about to do the same to Link.

"I can explain..." Young Link was knocked over by Pit, who had his hands around his neck.

"HOW COULD YOU!" cried Pit.

"I didn't do anythi-"

"Quiet." said Samus coldly. "You're going to pay for what you've done, and we're going to have you jailed for joining Giygas!"

"Oh thank you! He was going to slice my head off!" said Link in a fake, scared tone. Young Link shot him a look before Pit started to strangle him.

* * *

Back in the StarFox universe, on the Great Fox, in the morning, the heroes were preparing to leave for the Wind Waker universe. They decided to leave behind Orbulon's ship. Instead, they were taking Fox's Arwing, which Fox had more experience with and was less likely to crash.

"YOU TWO ARE FOX'S COMRADES, CORRECT?" ROB 64 asked Pikachu and Meta Knight.

"Yes." answered Meta Knight.

"HERE." ROB 64 handed them another Smart Bomb, "JUST IN CASE."

"Why are you giving us this?" asked Pikachu.

"I DON'T TRUST FOX TO CARRY THE EXPLOSIVES." said ROB 64, which warranted nods from Pikachu and Meta Knight. As for Fox, he was too busy talking to Krystal.

"Are you sure you don't need my staff? It would be useful in hand-to-hand combat." suggested Krystal.

"No, the staff thing was stupid. Besides, I like my gun. It makes pretty lights." said Fox. Krystal giggled at this comment.

"Well, before you go..." said Krystal. She leaned in toward Fox, intending to kiss him... but then Slippy came to ruin the moment.

"Fox! The repairs are done! I even made extra space and chairs for your friends!" said Slippy.

"Damn frog." muttered Krystal, watching Slippy drag Fox away to his Arwing. Pikachu and Meta Knight were seated inside the new seats inside the Arwing, waiting for Fox to get inside.

"Come on Fox! There's one last Dimensional Secret to get and I want to get this stupid story over with!" yelled Pikachu.

"Good luck Fox! Remember, if you have any trouble..." said Peppy.

"Yeah, yeah. Barrel rolls, use bombs wisely, somersaults, blah blah, Fox is out, peace!" said Fox, raising his fist into the air before jumping into the Arwing. He started up the Arwing, waved his friends goodbye, and then shot out of the hangar, leaving the Great Fox behind in it's wake.

"Okay, when we get to the Wind Waker universe, we must be more serious than we usually are. I feel that the stakes will be much higher than before." said Meta Knight.

However, Fox failed to listen, as he was too busy giggling and playing with the piece of string he found in the last chapter. With no one manning the controls, Pikachu had to lean forward and fly.

"Damn you Fox! Damn you and your little piece of string!" yelled Pikachu.

"Ugh..." was all Meta Knight could think to say. Now then, we all know what happens next: they find a plot hole which brings them to their next location, which usually results in a crash. So let's skip ahead to when they actually get there... but wait! That will make a plot hole! At the very least, I should fill in the space with... something...

* * *

In the WarioWare universe, one of the ships in Orbulon's spaceship pile suddenly glowed with life and levitated into the sky. Inside of it was George Lucas, flying to the Star Wars universe so he could kill Jar Jar Bi- the squirrels were inside of it.

"So... where do we go now?" asked Jefferson.

"...Somewhere nice. Somewhere we can finally settle down and live in." said Not Sheldon. "I'm tired of getting involved with all this bullshit with the giant red monster and those three."

"Language boss." said Joey.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. Keep flying until we find a planet or something." sighed Not Sheldon.

"Is this the last time we'll be in space?" asked Andrew.

"Possibly." responded Jefferson.

"Aw."

* * *

After some hi-jinks and shenanigans that we probably will never find out about, the Arwing appeared in the air above the Great Sea. Pikachu looked out of the Arwing. He saw a vast, expansive sea, with groups of small islands occasionally dotting it. The sun was starting to rise, casting it's glow over the water as seagulls flew over it. It seemed like a legitimately peaceful place.

"I think we're here." said Pikachu.

"Okay Fox, try to find an island that's long enough to act as a runaway. We don't want this thing barreling into the water." said Meta Knight. Fox nodded and started to fly in circles, scanning for a suitable place to land.

Meanwhile, on Diamond Steppe Island...

"Samus! Ma'm! Sir Samus! Samus ma'm! Ma'm sir! Ma'm Samus sir ma'm!" said Slimesy.

"Shut up. Just call me Samus." sighed Samus. "What is it?"

"There's this weird metal bird flying around, slurp!" told Slimesy. Samus rose an eyebrow, wondering what this could mean.

"Pit, can you go check it out? I'm still trying to figure out where to get a fairy for Snake." said Samus.

"Anything for you my love!" said Pit enthusiastically. Samus flashed him a glare before Pit left the room. Pit ran up several staircases, giving friendly waves to every GAG member he passed and then pushed aside the rock that guarded and concealed the entrance. He looked up into the sky and gasped upon seeing the metal bird, recognizing it as an Arwing. He flew upwards and then started to wave his arms around, trying to get it's attention. "Hey! Guys! Land over here!"

"Do you hear something?" asked Pikachu.

"Nope." Fox turned the Arwing... and went straight through Pit, who was now smashed against their windshield. "_OH MY GOD A GIANT FLY!_"

"That's not a giant fly! That's Pit!" gasped Meta Knight. "Pit? Are you alright?"

Pit didn't respond, being too much in pain to do so. Instead he merely pointed at the island with his finger. Fox got the message and made a steep dive toward the island, slowing down, and then perfectly parking on the island. Pit slid off the windshield, allowing for the cockpit to be opened.

"Uh... are you okay?" asked Pikachu, poking Pit in the head. Pit responded by standing up and then kicking Pikachu in the face. "...Hey... I wasn't driving the thing..."

Pit glanced at Fox, who widened his eyes and then pointed at Meta Knight. "Hey! I'm not smart! What makes you think I piloted that? Blame him!"

"What? You can't honestly believe this, right?" asked Meta Knight. Pit nodded, turned to Fox, and punched him in the snout, making him cry in pain. "Although I'm glad you didn't attack me, violence isn't the answer."

Pit smiled and finally spoke up. "Of course! But what else are you supposed to do if a plane smashes into you?"

"Just sue the pilot instead of punching him and ow..." said Fox.

"Well... let's pretend this didn't happen, okay?" asked Pit with a chipper attitude. "Oh yeah! I need to bring you to Samus and the others! They'll want to see you!"

"Others?" asked Meta Knight curiously.

"Yeah! This is Diamond Steppe Island, the base of our organization GAG, Galaxies Against Giygas!" said Pit proudly.

_To be continued..._

* * *

**_Congratulations, Hyper._**

_Woah, Giygas?_

**_Yes. I really didn't expect this story to come so far, let alone last 6 months. Although I dislike the fact that the story will obviously end with me losing - I'll make sure to change that - I must congratulate you for writing this and dealing with the characters ridiculous antics._**

_Gee, thanks! You're pretty nice for a cosmic horror guy! And there's no way you're going to win. No way._

**_Oh. I have learned a way to win._**

_Really?_

**_Let's just say that I learned a tactic from a journal._**

_Hey, what do you mean by tha- damn, he's gone. Ah well, I'm fairly confident that the heroes will beat him. So anyway, what as happened to Jigglypuff and Falco? Why can't GAG get Snake the fairy he so desperately needs? Have you guys figured out where the secret is yet? Are you going to have a great New Year? Will we have a war on our hands between Giygas and GAG? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	25. So Much Crap Happening, Part Dos

_Wow, I've been updating pretty fast lately. 'And yet you haven't updated your Halloween story in months.' Shut up hand! How dare you! You're my hand! You shouldn't have such treasonous thoughts against me! 'I can be as treasonous as I want!' Oh, it's on now. So, enjoy the next chapter of Attack of Giygas while I wrestle my own hand._

* * *

_Chapter 24: So Much Crap Happening, Part Dos_

* * *

The villains grouped together on one of the Great Sea islands. Upon getting there, they awaited for some minions to arrive through the plot holes. After a few minutes, several groups of minions appeared: some Boos, a handful of WarioWare fans, a group of Pig Mask soldiers, and a lone Darknut because Vaati believed that he just needs a single Darknut to kick everyone's asses and 'convince' people to join him. Now that everyone was gathered, there was one question left: where do they go from there?

"Hmm... Maybe we should have brought boats." commented Pichu, looking at the vast waters.

"You think?" said Porky.

"We have some of the Pig Mask ships to use as vehicles... I suggest that we break off into groups." said Mewtwo.

"Who died and made you king?" muttered the Darknut, to the nods of pretty much everyone else.

"I have the most experience with leadership. After all, I managed to control these freaks for so long." said Mewtwo, pointing at Pichu (who seemed to be muttering ways to kill Pikachu) and Dr. Mario (who was drawing a diagram of a body in the sand and was performing surgery on it). Everyone but Porky agreed with him.

"I have my own army! _I outrank you!_" yelled Porky.

"Yeah? Well get bent." said Mewtwo, simply to see Porky's jaw drop. "Vaati, Darknut, Nook, head to the West. King Boo, Pichu, Boos, go East. Ashley, Porky, Lucas, Pig Masks, look South. And Ridley, Dr. Mario, and WarioWare geeks, you can go North."

"What are you going to do Mewtwo?" asked Pichu.

"I realize that most of us will have no idea where we're going. At night, I'll light this tree on fire, so you people could follow the light and smoke back here." said Mewtwo. Everyone openly nodded and prepared to go. The WarioWare fans and Dr. Mario immeditely jumped onto poor Ridley.

"Let's go! We'll be like those video game heroes!" stated a WarioWare fan.

"Yes! Mush! Go fly you biological freak of nature!" said Dr. Mario.

"I can make do without the insults." muttered Ridley before taking off and flying North, to who know's where. Porky approached Mewtwo, looking worried.

"Are you sure I have to go with... them?" said Porky.

"Yes. I thought other children and your own soldiers would work well for you." said Mewtwo honestly.

"I'm fine with my underlings, but not... them." This time, Porky pointed at Lucas and Ashley, who were deep in coversation. "Ashley is crazy as hell, and Lucas... I don't want that insane brat near me!"

"Get over it." said Mewtwo. Porky sighed and walked back to the rest of his group.

"...and that's precisely why you should listen to me and me only." finished Ashley.

"Wow... I'll never think about girls and door-to-door salesmen the same way as I did before ever again." said Lucas, nodding. He turned to face Porky and he forced a smile on his face. "Hello Porky."

"H-Hey Lucas. No hard feelings about the whole ruining your life thing. Does this mean you won't... you know, hurt me?" asked Porky nervously.

"Maybe." said Lucas vaguely, which arguably scared Porky more than if Lucas had said no. One of his Pig Mask soldiers lead him into one of the Pig Mask ships, with the other two children following after him with cheerful creepiness. Meanwhile, the Boos were once again asking their king about what they were actually looking for, but to no avail.

"I told you guys, I really have no idea! Hell, I only pay attention for about 50... sometimes 40 percent of the time." said King Boo.

"Hey King! We don't have all day! We have Pikachus to kill and lives to ruin!" stated Pichu, standing at the entrance of one of the Pig Mask ships. He moved out of the way to let the ghosts and their king enter. Over with Vaati and friends, they were realizing that they had absolutely no idea how to pilot the Pig Mask ship (all the ships that Vaati piloted had in the past had something like manuals inside).

"...Anyone know how to fly this thing?" asked Vaati.

"My guess is as good as yours, sir." answered the Darknut.

"...This thing doesn't seem to have a manual or instructions." noted Tom Nook after scouring the inside of the ship. "But we should at least try, right?" Vaati and his minion nervously agreed and entered. The Pig Mask ship rose up... and then it suddenly lurched toward the West, corkscrewing as it continued to fly forward, much to the horror of the people riding inside. Soon, everyone departed the island, leaving Mewtwo all by himself. He sat down for a bit to relax... and then it hit him.

How the hell do you make fire again? Do you rub sticks together or...

"Things were so much easier when Roy was here." thought Mewtwo out loud.

* * *

Pit lead the trio deep into the GAG headquarters, telling them how it came to be founded, as well as the odd tales he had heard out at sea. What should be monstrous enemies gave friendly waves to Pit. Most of GAG was made up of monsters, but that's mainly because the human/hylian population was a whole lot less than the population of even the smallest groups of creatures.

"So, what have you been doing other than anticipating Giygas' appearance?" asked Meta Knight.

"Oh, we've been... hang on, we're here!" said Pit. He stopped in front of a room that's labled 'Interrogation' and opened it. Samus was calmly sitting in a chair, sipping coffee. Her eyes widened upon seeing the trio. At first, they thought that Samus was just surprised to see them. But then they realized that Samus seemed to be glaring at them. What did they do wrong? It's not as if they stole her space... ship... oh.

"Hey Samus." laughed Pikachu nervously. "Are you still angry about-" Samus sprang into action, kicking Pikachu in the face, sending him into a wall. Meta Knight was too surprised to react to Samus pointing her arm cannon at him. She fired a missile, blowing it up in the small knight's face and also sending him straight into a wall. Fox tried to step away, but Samus grabbed him by the shirt and then punched him in the face several times before dropping him to the ground.

"**Justice has been dealt.**" said Samus. Then, as if she wasn't the one who beat them up, she offered a hand, "Need help getting up?"

"Samus, do you really need to solve all your problems with violence?" asked Pit. Indeed, Samus' rampant violence was about the only thing Pit disliked about her.

"Yeah... that was completely uncalled for." groaned Meta Knight, getting up.

"Sorry. But if I don't enforce my solutions with violence, how will I know that they won't do it again?" said Samus. She pulled Pikachu and Fox up. "Speaking of which, where did you leave my spaceship?"

"...Some... where... Please don't punch me again." whimpered Fox.

Hey guys." greeted another voice in the room. The trio got up and looked at the table Samus was sitting at and gasped upon seeing who was sitting opposite of her: Young Link, who was tied up in the chair. "Can you please leave? We're still doing this interrogation thing."

Samus growled. "Shut up. How can you act so casual about this? Were you acting this way when you were murdering Snake?"

"I didn't murder Snake, and I'm always acting so easy-going." said Young Link.

"Wait, Snake's dead?" said Pikachu.

"Yep." confirmed Pit.

Meta Knight recalled the universal laws concerning live systems. "Doesn't this universe have fairies or Heart Containers to revive him? That could clear things up, with a direct testimony from him."

Samus's voice was quiet. "For some reason, all of the fairies are gone. From fountains to pots... We've asked people about their disappearance, but all they talk about is a raccoon..."

* * *

Ganondorf was pissed. He, the great king of evil, was being forced to do grocery shopping at this stupid store called Nookington's! How dare they make him do that? Granted, it would ensure him a great meal for dinner, but it still bothered him.

"Hmm?" Ganondorf noticed a shelf filled with a new product: Nookington's Fairy Drink: "As effective as a mushroom or 1-Up!" Curiously, he examined the packaging of one of the bottles and then saw the small print:

**WARNING: May or may not contain fairy innards. Answer depends on whether you believe in fairies or not.**

"..."

Ganondorf put the bottle away and continued his shopping.

* * *

"Amazing." said Vaati, looking at a fairy bottle Tom Nook gave him and his Darknut. "How did you catch a fairy already?"

"Let's just say that I've been planning ahead, for the benefit of our dimensional conquest and my store." said Nook darkly.

* * *

"...they say that a raccoon has been popping around the Great Sea from time to time, hunting fairies at masses. At first I assumed that my informants were all wackjobs, but..." said Samus, uncertain.

"Samus ma'm sir witch!" greeted Slimesy, appearing in the doorway.

"For the last time, just call me Samus and I'm not a witch. What is it now?"

"We need you and Pit for something." said Slimesy, leaving. Samus got up and followed him. Pit glanced at the others before leaving as well.

"Stay here! Don't release Young Link!" warned Pit, closing the door behind him. Meta Knight, Pikachu, and Fox turned to look at Young Link, who was faintly smiling.

"Meta Knight, you have to help me out." said Young Link. Meta Knight rose his eyebrows while Fox and Pikachu were simply offended.

"Why do you need specifically him? What about us?" said Pikachu.

"No offense, but Pikachu, you're untrustworthy, and Fox, you're just an idiot. Sorry." apologized Young Link.

"Hold on, what do you need me to help you with?" asked Meta Knight.

"I didn't kill Snake. The other Link is here, and he's on Giygas side. I saw him kill Snake and I tried to fight him, but then GAG came and mistook me for trying to kill Link, and that I killed Snake. Falco and Jigglypuff tried to vouch for me, but since they were in Giygas' clutches, Samus thinks that they were brainwashed!" explained Young Link.

"Falco and Jigglypuff is here?" asked Fox excitedly.

"Just Falco. They didn't catch Jigglypuff. She's trying to look for the secret in my place." Young Link sighed. "Look, Meta Knight, I need you to clear my name and prove that Link was the one who really killed Snake. Please? Besides, do you have any proof that I'm actually evil?"

Meta Knight recalled the time that they confronted the Melee cast, and he remembered that Young Link was not among them. "Well, no."

"Then can you help? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with-"

"Of course I will. While I'm not entirely sure who the villain is, rest assured, I will search for the truth." said Meta Knight.

"Thanks! You're the best! Now, can you..."

"I'm not untying you." said Meta Knight. Young Link groaned in disappointment.

"What will we do then?" asked Pikachu.

"I don't know about you, but I need to go catch up with Falco buddy!" said Fox, leaving the room happily.

"Pikachu, can you try looking for Jigglypuff? You two can work together to look for the secret." said Young Link.

"Do you know how large the goddamn ocean is? It's not as big as the Mario world, but still." said Pikachu.

"Well, I did get a hint. 'You should turn to your parent for knowledge and advice.' Make of that what you will. I have no idea what the hell it means." said Young Link. Pikachu nodded and left the room. Samus then came back in the room, looking at Meta Knight.

"Where is Pikachu going to?" asked Samus.

"He wants to go and find the secret." said Meta Knight innocently.

"Oh. Well in that case... he could borrow one of our submarines if he wished." said Samus. Meta Knight nearly tripped and fell upon hearing that.

"What? This universe actually has submarines?"

"I was just as surprised as you are."

* * *

"Finally! A town!" gasped Ridley, spotting Windfall Island. Tired of his annoying company, the instant he got to the pier, he just dumped them off his back.

"Wow! It really does look like the way it does in the games!" said an awe-inspired fanboy.

"Too bad I'm going to destroy the peace." said Dr. Mario, taking out a medical saw that the doctor definitely didn't use for medicine. Then, to Ridley's horror, the WarioWare fans too were brandishing weapons. Spending a few weeks in a universe ruled by Ashley had clearly unhinged them.

"It's a shame. Maybe we should take some pictures before we trash the place?" suggested the same fanboy.

"No... They already noticed our weapons anyway." stated a fangirl plainly, noting a villager panicking at the sight of them. Without a moment of hesitation, Dr. Mario and the fans ran toward the village, with the intent to murder everything in sight. Ridley just stayed where he was, having no interest in slaughtering people for no reason.

He then concluded that the WarioWare universe must be filled with complete psychopaths.

"I apologize for anything they do!" yelled Ridley over the screams and maniacal laughter. "...I think I'm going to get a donut." He then ignored the slaughter and flew off to search for a donut place, which most likely does not exist.

* * *

"...So, what's your name?" Vaati asked the Darknut after several minutes of nothing but flying (they eventually got things under control).

"My name is George the Darknut, leader of the second regiment of Hyrule monsters!" said the Darknut in a fearsome voice.

"What kind of mighty warrior name is George?" asked Tom Nook.

"What kind of name is Tom Nook?" asked George.

"Touche."

Suddenly, Vaati was very quiet, staring out of a window. "What's wrong sir?" asked George.

Vaati pointed out the window, in pure and utter confusion. "What the hell is that thing?" George and Nook looked at where he was pointing at to see a stupid totem pole on a small island in the middle of nowhere.

"First rule of video games: If it's weird, it's probably important." said Tom Nook. Vaati nodded and piloted the ship toward the odd structure.

* * *

"Porky? May I have a word with you?" asked Lucas.

"Yeah.. but please say it in front of everyone, where people can see you." gulped Porky.

"Oh that's fine." said Lucas. "You know, ever since Ashley took me in, I've been learning a lot about the state our reality is: a sad, sad place. No love and peace can fix it, no matter how deluded I am. I'm even thinking of ditching the name PK Love and replacing it with PK Death. How does that sound?"

"I don't like where this is going." said Porky.

"Using love and peace to fix your problems is pointless. It will never solve anything. Only violence will. Ashley has taught me that. She's truly opened me eyes." Lucas leaned in front of the scared boy's face. "You've been a huge thorn in my side... so I must fix the problem. I must kill you. And kill you. _And kill you. And.._"

"_OH MY GOD!_" screamed Porky. He ran over to Ashley and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her. "_ASHLEY! YOUR DAMN CRAZY BOY WANTS TO MURDER MY ASS!"_

Ashley calmly turned to Lucas. "Is this true Lucas?"

"...Yes... If it makes you unhappy, then I'll stop trying to kill him..."

Porky expected Ashley to tell Lucas off. Instead, she smiled and handed Lucas her favorite knife.

"Here, this is a prefered murder weapon." To make things worse, Ashley gave Lucas an encouraging pat on the back. "Just return it to me. You know how I like to stab you with that knife."

Porky, horrified, turned to his soldiers, who were just watching the entire time. "_YOU GUYS! MAKE SURE HE DOES NOT KILL ME!_" He glanced at Ashley. "_AND MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING EITHER! THEY'RE F***ING INSANE I TELL YOU!"_

Gosh! Language!

_"SHUT UP! IF YOU WERE DOWN HERE, YOU WOULD BE PANICKING TOO!"_

* * *

"Do you have any idea where you're going?" Pichu asked King Boo, who was piloting their ship.

"Nope." answered the ghost king.

"First chance I get, I'm deserting." said a Boo, not even trying to sugarcoat it.

"You guys are lousy servants." said King Boo.

"Well you're a lousy king!" yelled one of the Boos.

The king hung his head in shame. "Touche."

* * *

Pikachu walked around the GAG base, trying to find his way back up. However, he clearly didn't know which way the staircases was, and, somehow, he feels as if he went down a few floors in the process despite not going down any stairs. He looked around for anyone to ask them directions, but no one seemed to be around. But then, he noticed a room with a red glow coming from it.

"Hello, what's this?" Pikachu said, curiosity getting the best of him. He opened the door...

...and saw Giygas staring back at him.

"Don't open that!" yelled Pit's distant voice. The angelic boy came in front of Pikachu, light bow in hand and fires it in Giygas' face, injuring it. He then closed the door, taking out a key and making sure that the door remains locked.

"Pit." said Pikachu, breathing heavily. "Please tell me why you have Giygas in one of your rooms."

"It's not the real Giygas. Just bits of him." said Pit.

Pikachu sighed. "Okay, I'm confused, and the readers probably are too. So explain."

"Well.. you see, some parts of Giygas has been drifting away from him and into... plot holes... or whatever and they end up in various universes. Sometimes some pieces of Giygas come to this universe, looking like fluffy red cotton candy. When we first found out about them, we've been hunting these pieces down and experimenting on them."

"And... what has that accomplished?"

"It... drove some of our test subjects crazy, but it proves to the skeptics here that Giygas is a real threat, so there's that."

"Uh-huh." said Pikachu, glancing at the door. "And what were you guys trying to accomplish?"

"We're trying to reverse engineer it." said Pit, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Pikachu narrowed his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. These bits of Giygas isn't pure evil... it's just an evil gas. We're trying to learn it's chemical make-up so we can reverse-engineer it into... something good?"

Pikachu sighed. "Do you people have any idea how science works?"

"Not really, but everything has an opposite, and if we try _reeeally_ hard enough, we could turn this into something good!" said Pit, in a triumphant, ethusiastic tone.

"And that's gotten you nowhere so far." said Pikachu.

"...No. But if we keep trying, we can succeed in reverse-engineering this!"

"Reverse-engineering something made of pure evi... I'm sorry, evil gas. ...Yeah, good luck with that." said Pikachu. "So, why did you come here other than saving me from your failed science experiment?"

"Oh, well, GAG wants to offer our services in helping you get the secret." offered Pit.

"Really? What do you have to offer?" asked Pikachu.

"For one, we have a submarine..."

* * *

"Falco! Buddy!" yelled Fox. He opened up a room that had a cell in it. Sure enough, Falco was being kept there. "Yo Falco! It's me, Fox!"

Falco got a startled look on his face. "Fox? Is it really you?"

"Yeah! I'm right here!" said Fox, waving his arms, hoping to catch the bird's attention. After several seconds of silence, Falco finally realized that Fox was waving his arms and growled.

"Fox, hate to be the bearer of bad news... but I've gone blind." said Falco.

"Oh my god, really? Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?" asked Fox.

"_What is that supposed to prove?_"

"I'm not holding any fingers! I tricked you! ...OH MY GOD YOU'RE SERIOUS!" cried Fox, wrapping his arms around Falco. "Don't worry buddy! I'm here for you!"

"Stop hugging me. Before the yaoi fangirls know." Falco shivered, which was enough to get Fox to back off.

"So, they got you locked up in here?"

"Yeah. Stupid paranoid Samus. She thinks Giygas brainwashed me and thinks that I'm in cahoots with Young Link."

"Cahoots?"

"Yeah, cahoots. But Young Link's innocent! Jigglypuff and I know that! That bastard Link is lucky that there's no fairies around for Snake so he can testify against his back-stabbing ass." grumbled Falco.

"Where is Jigglypuff though?" asked Fox.

"Well, the day those GAG douchebags came, we were planning to go to the Eastern Fairy Island to see if there were any fairies there. I bet Jigglypuff's heading there right now." said Falco.

"Oh thanks! I'll pass it on to Pikachu!" Fox prepared to leave Falco but then turned to him and said, "Where's ROB? Wasn't he with you guys?"

Falco decided to preserve his friend's happiness. "Oh. He's somewhere better now."

* * *

"...yes, I don't need any help." Link said to himself. Meta Knight was spying on him, wondering who he's talking to. "No! Only when it's necessary! Go away!" Link stopped talking and continued on to his walk. Meta Knight decided to finally reveal himself.

"Link." greeted Meta Knight, approaching the swordsman with caution just in case he turned out to be villainous.

"Hey! Meta Knight! Glad to see you here! Are you here to join GAG?" asked Link.

"No." Meta Knight glared at him. "I've been asked by Young Link to prove his innocence, and he claims that you're the bad guy. No offense to you."

"Oh that's fine. Just leave that crazy kid to his delusions." said Link.

"Link, I need to check your belongings."

"Okay. But you won't find a paper labled 'Evil Plan to Destroy GAG from the Inside Out While Everyone's Too Pre-Occupied by Snake's Death and Young Link'." joked Link. It wasn't actually a joke (just not on paper), and he definitely planned to destroy GAG while everyone's in a frenzy, but Meta Knight assumed that it was sarcasm. Link dropped all of his items, including his amulet, thinking that Meta Knight wouldn't think much of it. Meta Knight pat him down, searching for additional items but found nothing.

On the floor lay: Link's sword, his shield, some bombs, a bow and arrow, a hookshot, gloves, the amulet, some bottles, a bottle with a blue fairy in it, and a wallet full of rupees.

Meta Knight picked up the amulet. "What's this?"

"I got it from some treasure-hunting. You see those pendants those Bokoblins wear? It's sort of like that." said Link. Meta Knight shrugged and examined the fairy in a bottle.

"I thought there was some sort of fairy shortage." noted Meta Knight.

"I've always had it with me." said Link. Meta Knight could feel that he was telling the truth.

"...Why can't we use this to revive Snake?" asked Meta Knight. Link froze.

"Well... I got this fairy a long time ago! I'm attached to it, so forget it!" snapped Link. He took the fairy from Meta Knight's hands and then went back to smiling. "Will that be all?"

"...Oh yes. That's fine." said Meta Knight. Link nodded and started to pick up his things. Meta Knight walked away from him, smirking all the while.

He now knows that Young Link is innocent.

* * *

_Tingle Island_

Vaati, George, and Tom Nook looked baffled at the totem. While it was already baffling to begin with, it was being rotated for some reason by two brothers. Vaati looked up and then gasped upon seeing the Tingle head on the top of the totem.

"Oh no..." said Vaati very quietly.

"What is it?" asked Tom Nook.

"No more talking. Just back away to the ship very slowly. Don't make any more noise." whispered Vaati. They tried to do just that... unfortunately, Geoge's heavy armor was clanking.

"I'm sorry sir." apologized George.

"_GASP!_" yelled a voice. Yes, he yelled 'gasp'. Lots of people yell "GASP!" in my stories. A certain green clothed man poked up from near the top of the totem. "It's a fairy!"

"Who's that guy?" asked Tom Nook.

"It's someone who's even more annoying than you." shuddered Vaati. He then whispered one word. A word that many people in Hyrule/Great Sea feared: "Tingle."

* * *

_Windfall Island_

"Are they done yet?" Ridley asked to himself, chewing on a donut. Yes, he actually found a donut place. Shut up.

An explosion sounded as smoke rose into the air.

"Okay, that's a no."

* * *

_Great Sea_

Porky nervously glanced over his shoulder to get a good look at Lucas, who was still staring at him.

"Don't worry Porky. I'm not going to kill you yet, in this small space." said Lucas. "If any blood were to get on Ashley, I would have to lick it off of her."

Porky rose his eyebrow and grinned. "You have to lick it off of her?"

Ashley blushed. "I thought it would be a fitting punishment..."

"Suuuure..."

Ashley turned to Lucas. "First chance you get. Stab his fat guts out."

"As you command~"

"_**OH GOD.**_"

* * *

_Great Sea_

"I say that we're lost." said Pichu.

"Well I say shut the hell up." said King Boo.

"Seriously sir, I think we'd be better off if that electric rat fellow drove this thing." suggested one of the Boos.

"Yeah? Name one reason why he should drive."

One of the Boos looked at the various screens. "For one, we seem to be going Southwest instead of East..."

Immediately afterward, the Boos and Pichu staged a mutiny. King Boo was easily overtaken and tied up, leaving Pichu in command of the ship. Pichu ended up being a better leader in his five hours of leadership than King Boo ever was in his entire lifetime.

* * *

_Northern Triangle Island_

Mewtwo smashed his head repeatedly into the ground. It's already been a few hours, which he has spent trying to light a practice fire... and he has succeeded at nothing at all.

"How does Roy make it look so easy!" yelled Mewtwo.

* * *

_Diamond Steppe Island_

Pikachu was amazed to see that they actually had submarines in the Wind Waker universe. Sure, it was primitive, but it was still pretty impressive. It was easily concealed, so it was somewhat better than Fox's Arwing (which pikachu didn't know how to pilot), which would undoubtedly attract attention by anyone in a 20 mile radius. Pikachu got a crew of a few ChuChus (including Slimesy and Goobley) and a handful of Moblins to accompany him.

"So... does this need gas to run?" asked Pikachu.

"No, slurp. What's gas?" asked Goobley.

Yes, this was definitely an impressive feat.

"Hey! Pikachu!" said Fox. He came up from GAG's secret entrance and ran over to Pikachu. "Pikachu, I have something important to tell you!"

"Yeah?" Fox leaned in to his ear.

"Go to Eastern Fairy Island. Jigglypuff might be there." said Fox. Pikachu nodded and went toward the submarine. Before he could get in, he turned to Fox.

"What are you going to do?" asked Pikachu.

Fox thought about it. "I know! I'll help Pit and those scientists with the reverse-engineering thingy! They'll appreciate my help!" He jumped back down the secret entrance, leaving Pikachu, who was shaking his head, as he knew that this wouldn't end well. Without futher ado, he jumped into the submarine and was ready to set sail... or... swim... or... something.

* * *

"Samus. A moment of your time?" asked Meta Knight. Samus sat behind her desk (which she filled with weapons to make her desk job more appealing), looking at him. Her Bokoblin bodyguards took out their weapons, but Samus glanced at them, which was a signal for them to put it away.

"Yes, what is it?" asked Samus.

"Samus, I'm here to prove that Young Link is innocent." said Meta Knight. Samus sighed.

"You got roped into that? I thought you were less gullible than that." said Samus. Meta Knight raised his eyebrow, wondering when he was gullible. He shrugged this off to continue the conversation.

"Oh, but I know that he's innocent."

"Oh yeah?"

"Throw a trial in front of everyone in GAG. I'll prove it to all of you." said Meta Knight.

"...Hmm... Fine. But why do we need everyone attending?"

"To make sure Link does not escape of course." said Meta Knight.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_This is the last chapter you have to figure out the location of the secret! The next chapter will have another hint... as well as the answer, making the hint sort of pointless. WHATEVER. Besides, it could be solved with just this one hint and a list of Great Sea Islands._

_What did Meta Knight find that would show Young Link's innocence? Will Tom Nook continue to accidently ruin people's lives in the name of his store (Capitalism, ho!)? What will Tingle do? Will Lucas get away with murdering Porky? Will Mewtwo know how fire works? Am I going to ask a ridiculous question? Will Pikachu find Jigglypuff? Find out in the next chapter!_


	26. So Much Crap Happening, Part Tres

_In the last chapter, um... lots of stuff is happening. Okay, Meta Knight was investigating Link on Young Link's behalf and believes he knows a way to prove that Link is the villain. Pikachu is setting out with GAG to look for the secret and Jigglypuff. Fox is going to help Pit with the whole reverse-engineering business. I know. I don't know science and neither do they. Ahem. Vaati, Tom Nook, and George the Darknut unfortunately ended up on Tingle Island. Dr. Mario and some WarioWare fans are going on a killing spree while Ridley eats donuts. Lucas wants to kill Porky, and Ashley is letting him. And Mewtwo can't light a fire to save his life._

_And now, back to our feature presentation._

* * *

_Chapter 25: So Much Crap Happening, Part Tres_

* * *

Pit and Fox were in the Giygas room, wearing bandannas around their faces so they wouldn't breathe in the toxic air. The Giygas in question was much smaller compared to the real one and seemed to lack any powers, as it had so far made no attempts on their lives. All it could do was growl at them.

"So... reverse-engineering?" asked Fox.

"We want to figure out what makes up Giygas and see what it's opposite is and try to obtain it." said Pit. "Don't ask, we don't know how real science works."

"Hmm..." Fox looked at the Giygas clone, briefly shuddering. "It's... evil... so, would we end up turning it good?"

"Being good or evil is based on someone's morals, and you can never change that." said Pit.

"...Hey, doesn't things change if you put pressure on it... like... coal turning into pearls?"

"Coal does not turn into pearls." sighed Pit. "We actually tried that, but we just ended up with some sort of dust. Some idiot actually ate it and... well, we had to lock him up afterward. The poor sap keeps trying to eat our hands."

"Do hands taste good?"

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't. That would be called cannibalism, and cannibalism is one of the greatest sins." said Pit. "If I spot a cannibal, I would draw my bow, and shoot them straight through the eye."

"Ouch. ...For the record, I'm not a cannibal." said Fox. He pause a bit, hearing several pairs of feet walk down the hallway. "Hey, what's going on outside?"

* * *

Various GAG members flooded through the halls, heading toward Samus' office, which was acting as a courtroom. Meta Knight and Samus lead the procession. Following behind them was both Links, who were guarded by several Moblins just in case one of them suddenly snapped and tried to kill everyone. They gave each other glares (Young Link's glare was a lot more relaxed though) as they were herded to the makeshift courtroom. Soon, they reached the office. Samus went behind her desk, resting her legs on the desk. Meta Knight stood alongside Young Link, staring down Link who was on the other side of the room. The normal GAG members hung around the entrance, so they can watch the trial and to guard the exit. Having no gavel, Samus instead banged her arm cannon.

"Order. Please shut up." said Samus. All the talking ceased. "Good. Now, we are all here today to see which Link is the evil one. Meta Knight will be assisting the younger Link, while the elder one has to defend himself."

"How come I don't get a lawyer or prosecutor or whatever?" asked Link.

"Because our GAG underlings have no idea how the court works." said Samus. "Now, I would like to hear from both of you. Young Link, you're first."

"Ahem." said Young Link, clearing his throat. "Jigglypuff, Falco and I were resting on the island when Snake and Link suddenly found us. We were all planning to head to the base together and continue the search for the secret. However, while I was sleeping, I was suddenly awoken by a noise. I woke up and sneaked toward the beach, where I saw Link and Snake fighting! I watched in horror as Link finally got the upperhand... and killed Snake." said Young Link. The GAG members did a colletive gasp. "I then decided to finally show myself and I started to fight Link myself. When I had Link pinned down though, you guys finally came and thought that I was the one who commited the murder. Well, that's my story."

Samus paused a bit, collecting her thoughts and then she finally said, "You were watching them fight, but you did nothing to help?"

The number of people who believed in him dropped significantly. If Young Link was indeed a hero, he should have immediately stepped in to save Snake. Young Link sheepishly scratched his head, wondering why people was glaring at him. Meta Knight facepalmed, having spotted the inconsistency himself. Meanwhile, Link snickered, realizing that Young Link was digging himself deeper and now had a less likely chance of gaining everyone's trust.

"...Link, state your testimony." said Samus.

"Okay. I'll... try my best." said Link, crying with fake tears. "I was patroling around the island, looking for something to eat, like a fruit, when I heard the sound of fighting. I ran as hard as I can, but I was too late. I saw Young Link driving his sword through Snake, killing him. I immediately ran in, sword drawn, ready to avenge our dear friend! But.. I was tired, weak. He easily overpowered me and was going to kill me when you guys showed up to save me."

To Meta Knight's horror, the GAG members nodded, believing that Link's story is true. Unlike Young Link's, his story had no inconsistencies or anything to be suspicious of. However, he was confident that he would prove that Young Link is innocent.

"Okay, now that the testimonies are over with..."

"Wait, shouldn't we get a testimony from Falco? He was on the island with them." pointed out Meta Knight.

"Falco's blind now, didn't you know?" said Samus. Meta Knight widened his eyes. He did not anticipate that. "He can only act on sound alone, and since they're both technically the same person, the Links sound just about the same. Any testimony from him would be unreliable. Besides, he's been cooped up with Giygas, so it may have affected his sanity. He could be in league with them now, as far as I know."

Meta Knight was starting to think that this is much harder than it looks.

* * *

_Tingle Island_

"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" yelled Vaati.

"Come back Mr. Fairy!" shouted Tingle, chasing after him. George and Tom Nook just sat around, watching Tingle chase Vaati around the island. Vaati glared at the two, angry that they're doing nothing to help.

"GEORGE! DESTROY HIM!" yelled Vaati. George nodded, stepped forward, and swung his sword, instantly killing Tingle.

"That was easier than I thought." admitted George.

"Hold on, what's happening?" asked Tom Nook. Tingle's body was suddenly glowing; a fairy rose out of his corpse and it circled around him before disappearing. Tingle's eyes shot open, much to Vaati's dismay.

"B-But... how..." said Vaati.

"Silly fairy man! I've been collecting fairies! See?" said Tingle.

"OH MY GOD WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!" screeched Tom Nook, shielding his eyes with his Death Broom; Tingle had taken off his shirt. Under his shirt were several unhappy fairies, who were all taped to Tingle's skin. Vaati was disturbed. So disturbed that he told George to kill Tingle again. Unfortunately, a fairy freed itself and revived Tingle again. Tom Nook and George took turns killing Tingle with their weapons, but he was revived each time. By the looks of things, Tingle had fairies taped to his back as well. They did not want to know if there were any fairies within his pants.

"Okay... Tingle, I have a deal for you." said Vaati.

"Yes Mr. Fairy?"

Vaati took out his bottled fairy. "I'll give you this fairy if you leave me alone."

Tingle took it from his hands. "Deal! There's been a fairy shortage lately, so I haven't been collecting fairies recently. Whee! Fairies!" Tingle jumped up in glee and started to climb back up his tower. However, he does not notice a chart falling out of his pocket. Vaati sighed with relief while George retrieved the chart.

"Sir. The weird man dropped something." said George. Vaati took the chart and examined it.

"Hmm... This map seems to be showing the locations of Great Fairies. It does not show any actual islands, but I feel like this should be helpful." said Vaati, pocketing it.

Tom Nook turned, staring into the distance. Over the horizon, he saw smoke rising into the air. "Hey, what's that fire?"

"I think it might be Mewtwo." stated Vaati.

* * *

_Northern Triangle Island_

"Damn it! Why must this be so hard!" cried Mewtwo. He was still unsuccessful in his attempts at lighting a fire.

Seriously, it's been hours already. He is so terrible at this.

"Do you really need to insult me?"

No, not really.

"...Hold on, what's that?" Mewtwo looked in the distance and saw smoke (for a brief moment he was jealous). He had no idea what the fire is, but there's one thing for certain: one of his comrades definitely started it.

* * *

_Windfall Island_

"Yay! We did it, we did it!" cheered a random boy. The rest of the WarioWare fans and Dr. Mario danced in front of the flames. After butchering everyone in the town, they had set all the buildings on fire. Why? They're lunatics, they don't need to have a reason. Meanwhile, Ridley sat nearby, eating... something.

"Ridley, what are you eating?" asked Dr. Mario.

"Oh? This?" said Ridley, looking own at his meal. "Well, I saw this delicious looking body so..."

"Oh my god! You're the cannibal!" screamed Dr. Mario. He and everyone else gave Ridley disgusted looks. They may be lunatics, but they definitely had something against cannibals. Hey, people have standards. "For shame!"

Ridley hung his head. "I'm sorry..."

* * *

_Private Oasis_

"A house in the middle of the ocean. How interesting." mused Ashley. The Pig Mask ship landed on a small island, where a small but luxurious looking house lay. The Pig Masks left the ship to investigate while the kids stayed behind.

"Ashley, you're seriously going to let him kill me?" pleaded Porky.

"Yes. Lucas needs the practice. Besides, you're sort of annoying." said Ashley.

"B-But..."

"Tom Nook has this reviving drink. We'll revive you. That is if we care enough."

"COME ON!" yelled Porky. "I'm one of the few people who hangs out with you! Are you seriously going to let that kid kill me!"

Ashley thought about it and then sighed. "You have a good point. Lucas, I want you to stop trying to kill Porky."

"Okay Ashley." said Lucas. Porky had a spasm as he finally noticed that Lucas was behind him, and, by the looks of things, he was going to stab Porky in the back. The boy looked unhappy, but he still handed Ashley her knife. Porky mentally cheered in his head, glad that Lucas was no longer after him.

"King Porky! Look at this!" shouted a Pig Mask. Porky hoisted himself up onto spider legs and left the ship, stomping toward the house. His Pig Mask soldiers were congregated around the door, and they saluted Porky as he approached. The door seemed to be possessed by some sort of spirit, as it had a butler drawing on it that was capable of speech.

"...you clearly villainous hoodlums aren't allowed to enter. Only the owner of the villa is allowed to enter, and I do not see Master Link among you." said the Butler, who had been talking to the Pig Masks.

"So this is Toon Link's house, eh?" asked Porky.

"I don't know where the 'Toon' came from, but yes, this is Link's house. If he is not here with you, then you're not allowed to enter. Good day."

"I have a better idea. How about you let us in or we'll burn the whole place down?" suggested Ashley. She brandished her wand, Lucas started to charge PK Fire, the Pig Masks took out the bombs they used to burn down Sunshine Forest, and Porky just gave the butler a Slasher Smile.

Although he likes to follow the rules, the butler thought that letting in the villains and keeping the villa intact was a lot better than letting it burn down. "Very well. Come in."

* * *

_Eastern Fairy Island_

The submarine moved at a surprisingly fast pace through the waters. They would reach Eastern Fairy Island in no time. Pikachu decided to pass the time by conversing with various GAG members.

"Hey! What was Giygas really like, slurp?" asked Goobley.

Pikachu shuddered. "He's terrible. He could have torn us all apart if we didn't escape. And even when we're away from him, I could feel his eyes staring at me... and we keep running into this red gas that keeps trying to beat the fudge out of us. You do NOT want to meet him."

"Ha! I'm not scared of some stupid gas!" boasted a random Moblin.

_THUNK_

"OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" screamed the very same Moblin. A few other GAG members panicked, but the rest managed to stay calm.

"What happened?" asked Pikachu.

"I think we hit something." said Goobley. Pikachu climbs up the ladder so he can check the problem. He opened a hatch an saw that a small boat crashed into the top of the submarine (the submarine couldn't fully submerge). And inside that boat was a certain pink balloon Pokemon.

"Stay back! You crazy GAG members can't stop me!" threatened Jigglypuff waving a stick, having not recognized Pikachu.

"Cool it Jiggles! It's me!" said Pikachu. Yes, he calls Jigglypuff 'Jiggles'.

"Oh my god! Pikachu, is that you?" said Jigglypuff.

"Yeah, it's me. Don't worry about these GAG guys. I think I could talk them out of, you know, arresting you." said Pikachu.

"Gee, thanks! So, why are you here?"

"I came here to help you look for the secret." said Pikachu.

"Oh. Well, I was heading to Eastern Fairy Island before I bumped into you. Look, it's over there." Jigglypuff pointed off toward the East, where Pikachu can make out the shape of an island with a conch shell like building on it.

"Okay. We can go there together then." said Pikachu. Jigglypuff abandonned her small boat and joined Pikachu inside of the submarine. GAG was going to pounce on her, but Pikachu successfully talked them out of it. The submarine sped toward the island and within two to three minutes, it reached the shore. Everyone exited the submarine and nervously entered the conch building.

"Welcome guests." greeted a voice. As they entered a mystical area with a fountain, a giant spirit appeared in front of them. "I am the Great Fairy of this fountain. If you're here to get a fairy, I'm sorry to say that there is none."

"We're not here about that. We're wondering if you know anything about the Dimensional Secrets." asked Pikachu.

The Great Fairy paused and then started to giggle. "The Dimensional Secret? My, it's been a long time since we Great Fairies were asked that. I fondly remember the last time, 7000 years ago, when..."

"Can it lady! Just tell us what you know." said Pikachu impatiently.

"Fine." said the Great Fairy with an annoyed sigh. "I don't quite remember the exact location, but it's definitely in one of the other Great Fairy fountains."

"I KNEW IT!" shouted a voice. Everyone looked up and gasped; on top of the ceiling were the Boos, with Pichu hanging on to one of them.

"King Boo you idiot! You don't spy by yelling things out loud!" growled Pichu. He looked down toward the bewildered heroes, mainly focusing on Pikachu. "Hey Pikachu. Sorry that I can't kill you right now, but we have information to deliver, so... QUICK! FLY! FLY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!"

The Boos flew out of the cavern before anyone could react. The Great Fairy shook her head, muttering, "This is not good."

With the villains, King Boo was looking around at the rest of the group and noticed something. "Hey, weren't there more Boos with us?"

"I sent some Boos to do something." answered Pichu vaguely.

* * *

_Diamond Steppe Island_

"...and that's why I'm totally not the villain." finished Link. The GAG members clapped as he finished his speech. Meanwhile, Young Link was actually starting to get nervous, because by the looks of things, everyone's more likely to believe Link.

"Interesting. Now, my fellow members, is Young Link guilty of murdering Snake and being in cahoots with Giygas?" asked Samus.

"GUILTY!" shouted most of the GAG members, to Meta Knight and Young Link's dismay.

"Then I pronounce..."

"STOP!" yelled Meta Knight. Everyone in the room turned to him.

"No Meta Knight, you're supposed to yell, 'OBJECTION!'. Get it right." said Young Link, completely missing the point.

Meta Knight ignored him. "Before we could deliver the guilty verdict, I have one last card up my sleeve. Before we proceed... did Link remove anything from his inventory?"

"Nope." said Link confidently.

"Okay, Link, show everything you have." said Meta Knight. Link dropped all of his things. Meta Knight walked over to the stuff and then picked out his ace in the hole: the bottle with the blue fairy in it. "Behold, a fairy!"

Everyone gasped. Samus glared at Link. "You had a fairy all along? Why didn't you give it so we can revive Snake?" asked Samus suspiciously.

Link's confidence went away. "Because, well, um..."

"Because it's not capable of reviving people." finished Meta Knight.

"...Say whaaaa?" said Young Link.

"It's because this fairy is a special case. It came from a certain forest... take a look at it's color." Meta Knight held up the bottle for all to see.

"Hmm... I don't quite see it..." admitted Samus.

"Wait a minute..." Young Link widened his eyes. "That's Navi!"

"Correct. Samus, if you paid attention to any fights featuring Link, he would taunt by releasing Navi, but we have not paid much mind to her. Link's been carrying her all this time... and she probably witnessed everything Link did." Meta Knight unscrewed the bottle, releasing Navi from her prison.

"He's right! I've seen and heard everything Link did; including when he murdered that guy!" said Navi. Everyone stared in shock and astonishment. Link himself was at a loss for words. Finally, he started to grit his teeth and growl.

"Damnit Navi, if you weren't my childhood friend, I would've killed you." said Link.

"I would have." admitted Young Link.

"But you didn't kill me, so hah!" laughed Navi. "It's all true! Link got captured by Giygas and was brainwashed! Link hid me inside that bottle to silence me!"

"Yes. Link could never release Navi because she would probably go tell everyone of the atrocities he commited. He was backed up against a wall and I took advantage of that." said Meta Knight.

"Yeah! Go Meta Knight! Way to prove that I'm not guilty!" cheered Young Link.

"Plus, Young Link's been in contact with Giygas the entire time. Have any of you seen Link talking to no one?" Some random GAG members started muttering, confirming this fact. "All this time he's been in contact, and I think he's been using this." He held up the amulet for all to see.

"RARGH! How did you know!" yelled Link.

"It's the only new thing inside of your inventory." pointed out Meta Knight.

Samus gave Link a death glare. "Well, Link, you have an unbiased witness who witnessed everything you've done. It's safe to say that you're guilty."

Link stared at everyone, who paid him back with glares. Then, he started to giggle. "Alright, before you go lock me up forever... Meta Knight, did you hear me talking to someone before you confronted me?"

"Yeah."

"I wasn't talking to Giygas that time." said Link.

Samus pointed her cannon at Link. "What do you mean by tha-"

**"BOO!**" yelled several Boos, finally revealing themselves in the middle of the courtroom. Everyone cringed and fell over from shock; even Samus and Meta Knight fell over. One Boo turned to Link and said, "Go to Pichu and the others green guy! We'll distract them!"

Link laughed as he ran past the GAG members and out of the room. Everyone was too shocked to do anything about it. After a few seconds, Navi piped up, "Hey! Aren't any of you going to go after him?"

* * *

"Have you tried cooking it?" asked Fox.

"No. But I'm pretty sure that it would taste like poison. Maybe if we bake it into evil cookies though..." said Pit.

"Hmm... Have you tried using your powers?"

"Pardon?" responded Pit.

"You use your heavenly power to make those light arrows, right? Have you tried using your heavenly power on that stuff?" asked Fox. Pit glanced at the Giygas clone, which was now spitting raspberries at them.

"Huh. I didn't think of trying that." Pit approached the red mass and then grabbed some with his hands, which looked like fluffy cotton... of evil. His hands started to glow, filling the room with light. Soon, the light subsided, and the evil cotton was gone. Pit was clasping his hands around something. "I know what Giygas represents now. He represents death..."

"And the opposite?" asked Fox.

Pit revealed what was inside his hands: a fairy. "Life."

"Wow! Okay, where is Snake's body? We can use that to revive him and stuff!" said Fox.

"He's in a room down the hall." said Pit. Then, he heard sounds of laughing and running. "But we should hurry. I don't like the feeling of this."

* * *

_Private Oasis_

"It feels weird to look through Toon Link's stuff." said Lucas, who was doing precisely that.

"Except he's not here right now to yell at us, so have all the fun you want." said Ashley, reading through Toon Link's diary. "Hmm. Did you know that Toon Link and Tetra's first date resulted in a blown up restaraunt?"

"Really? We should keep that. We could totally blackmail Toon Link if we have the chance!" said Porky.

"Look at this." said Lucas. He showed them a map of the Great Sea. "This could help us know where we're going."

"It's not useful if it doesn't tell us where Heart Pieces or Great Fairies are." said Porky. Lucas shrugged and put the map in his pocket anyway.

"Yes, having a Great Fairy Chart would be nice. ...Interesting, Toon Link's sister is now an indie popstar." said Ashley.

"You hooligans better stop! I insist that you return Master Link's stuff at once!" yelled the Butler.

"...He's starting to get annoying." said Lucas.

"Agreed." said Ashley.

"Where are those fire bombs..." said Porky.

The next minute, the three children were huddled together under the moon, watching the villa burn. The Butler was alternating between yelling at them or crying how various parts of the house are beginning to burn to ash.

"You know, we can totally bond over this. As friends." said Porky.

"Yes, it's rather relax- hold on, where are your soldiers?" asked Ashley. Sounds of loud screams and squeals within the house answered her question.

"The sounds of other people's suffering is wonderful, is it not?" smiled Lucas.

Porky turned and saw light and smoke in the distance. "Hey, isn't that Mewtwo's fire?"

* * *

_Diamond Steppe Island_

Link was inside the GAG headquarter's armory. Various Moblin spears laid around with the occasional Bokoblin sword, but that's not what Link was focused on. Instead, he was focused on the explosives. There were various crates of normal, Zelda bombs. But right next to those were Samus' missiles and Snake's own explosives. If these all exploded, the entire island would be destroyed, which was exactly what Link was counting on.

Link kneeled down to one of Snake's explosives and started to fiddle around with it. "Detonate in ten minutes... thanks a lot Snake."

"There he is! Get him!" yelled a Bokoblin. He and several other monsters ran toward Link. Together, they could defet any ordinary person.

But Link wasn't ordinary. To make it worse, Link had years of experience fighting guys like these. Within a short minute, they were felled by Link's blade. Link laughed and started to run out of the room.

"Stop right there." said Samus. Meta Knight, Young Link, and her guarded the hallway. Samus fired off a chraged energy shot, forcing Link to duck. Meta Knight flew at him, sword raised. Link blocked and counterattacked, but Young Link jumped in, slashing at Link as well. Link however easily kept up with their movements, blocking every hit and occasionally sneaking in a counter-stirke. Meta Knight and Young Link's attacks seemed to at most graze him. Samus helped by shooting at Link, as her hand-to-hand combat skills would be useless against Link. However, Link dodged the shots as well.

"Ow! Watch it!" yelled Young Link, having gotten hit by one of Samus' energy shots.

"Surprise!" yelled Link, taking advantage of this short window of time. He slashed his sword toward Young Link, wounding his arm and shoulder. He turned around and kicked Meta Knight knocking him against a wall (everyone loves doing that, don't they?). He then ran up to him and continued kicking the small knight until he was rendered unconsious. Young Link couldn't fight back, feebly trying to hold his sword. Samus pointed her cannon at Link's face as he approached her. "Your turn."

But then Link was knocked off his feet by an explosion. He briefly thought that the bombs detonated, but it didn't yet. He got back up, bewildered, but then, a light arrow and laser beam clipped him in the legs, making him fall over again. He looked down the hall and gasped.

Fox, Pit, and most importantly, Snake was just ahead of them. Then, the entire GAG force followed right behind them, filling the hallway with monsters. Link was trapped. GAG won.

"Ha ha, hey Snake. Glad to see that you're ali-"

Snake punched Link with all his strength, knocking him unconsious.

"Heh. It's glad to be back." said Snake.

"How are you alive?" asked Samus in astonishment.

"I did it Samus! It was all on me!" said Pit cheerfully. Fox glared at him, since he was the one who suggested that Pit use his heavenly powers in the first place.

"Well Pit, you certainly deserve a reward." said Samus.

"Like a kiss?"

Samus glared but then sighed, taking off her helmet. "Fine, but on the cheek only. If you tell any of the other Smashers, I'll kill you." Samus leaned in to Pit and kissed him on the cheek. Everyone hooted, except for Link, who was unconsious, Meta Knight, who was also unconsious, and Snake.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Snake dramatically, bursting into tears.

"Hold on, excuse me, coming through." said a familiar voice. Pikachu appeared out of the crowd along with Jigglypuff.

"Er... what happened here?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Shenanigans." answered Fox.

"Hey, Samus, we have a problem." said Young Link. He was looking at the bomb that Link set up, which was due to detonate in a minute. "I have no idea how to shut this thing off."

"Allow me." said Snake, recovering from his angst. He ran over to the bomb and started to disarm it, fiddling around with the insides. The bomb was now counting down in the single digits. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, ...Snake shuts off the bomb.

"Hooray! We're not going to die!" cheered Pit and Fox.

"Hey, does that deserve a kiss?" asked Snake.

"Yes... but I won't." said Samus, turning away. Snake went back to crying, believing that Samus had fallen in love with Pit. "Pikachu, nice to see you Jigglypuff, what did you two find out?"

"The secret is on one of the Great Fairy Islands other than Eastern Fairy Island." said Jigglypuff.

"So it's on either the Northern Fairy Island, Western Fairy Island, Mother and Child Islands, Southern Fairy Island, or the Thorned Fairy Island." said Samus. Everyone gave her confused looks and she added, "I play Zelda games in my free time, okay?"

"Oh yeah, and don't forget the hint, 'You should turn to your parent for knowledge and advice'." said Young Link.

"Wait..._ parent_..." said Pikachu. Realization hit him in the face. "The_ Mother_ and Child Islands! It's got to be there!"

"Really? Thanks suckers!" It turns out that one of the Boos from the courtroom was eavesdropping on them. He stuck his tongue out at them before flying away, cackling.

Everyone was silent. Finally, Meta Knight, who regained consiousness shortly before, muttered, "Crap."

* * *

_Windfall Island_

The fires were still raging when Mewtwo arrived on the island. Dr. Mario was standing around, admiring his handy work while the WarioWare fans berated and hit Ridley for eating bodies. Mewtwo floated over to the good doctor to have a little chat.

"If anyone asks, I caused this fire." said Mewtwo.

"Why? Is it because you couldn't light your own fi-"

"Shut up and work with me here." said Mewtwo. They waited around a bit until Pig Mask ships arrived, containing their comrades who noticed the fire. They all parked their vehicles and approached Mewtwo. "Did any of you find out anything?"

"We found out that the secret is on one of the Great Fairy Islands!" shouted King Boo.

"Really? That's convenient, because we have a Great Fairy Chart." said Vaati, showing the chart.

"It doesn't actually show us where to go though." added Tom Nook.

"Huh. I knew it was a good idea to take this." said Lucas, taking Toon Link's map out of his pocket.

"Well... that's pretty convenient." admitted Mewtwo.

"And now we wait for someone to tell us it's exact location." said George. Everyone waited, anticipating the answer to their problems... but it was nowhere in sight.

* * *

_Diamond Steppe Island_

The Boos were trapped at the entrance, covering their faces as some GAG members kept their eyes on them.

"Make sure that at least one of you is staring at them, or they'll escape." instructed Samus.

Pit in the meantime was converting the Giygas gas into fairies. However, massive amounts of the stuff were needed to make a single fairy. Eventually, all of it was gone, but GAG now had enough fairies to revive the members who were killed by Link. Falco, Young Link, and Jigglypuff were reunited, glad that they're together again. Meta Knight soon regained consiousness and joined up with his respective pals. Link in the meantime was locked away with Navi, who proceeded to punish Link for his acts with her annoying voice.

"Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! This is what you get Link!" yelled Navi.

"Somebody help me!" screamed Link.

Meanwhile, the nine other Smashers gathered together at the island's surface.

"So, what now?" asked Meta Knight.

"Simple. We storm in, fight any of Giygas' cronies that intercept us, and get the last secret." said Samus.

"Yeah! Let's do this!" cheered Fox.

"We can take them on!" said Pit.

"This is going to be fun." said Snake.

"Break some heads!" said Falco.

"Let's do this together!" said Jigglypuff.

"Yeah! Togetherness!" agreed Young Link.

"Just a few more chapters Pikachu." muttered Pikachu. "A few more chapters and it's finally over."

_To be continued.._

* * *

_Did any of you expect the Mother and Child Islands? So anyway, what are your favorite characters? ...Wait, did I ask that before? Whatever. While I'm still on the subject, what's your favorite chapter? Please leave your opinion in your review, that is, if you're planning to review. So, who will get the secret first? Why did Tingle tape fairies to his body? How many of Giygas' minions aren't homicidal lunatics? Will Ridley be punished for his cannibalism problems? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	27. Battle On The Great Sea

_The final part of the Wind Waker arc! It's the beginning of the end!_

* * *

_Chapter 26: Battle On The Great Sea_

* * *

In the last chapter, Meta Knight proved that Young Link is innocent thanks to a certain blue fairy under Link's ownership. Pit and Fox succeeded in their job (well, Pit used some sort of magic, so don't point out how unscientific this is) and created some fairies from the Giygas gas, which they distributed to Snake and GAG members killed in Link's failed attempt to blow up the base. The secret has been figured out to be on the Mother and Child Islands, but the villains only know that it's on one of the Great Fairy Islands, which is sort of a good thing. So, let's kick this off.

Over the Great Sea, a ship flies high above, scanning the surface...

"Why are there so many damn islands? Where's the mainland?" said Not Sheldon, looking out the window, searching for a nice place to land.

"Maybe it was sunk into the sea?" suggested Jefferson.

"Even I know that sounds stupid." replied Joey.

"SPACE! WHY CAN'T WE GO BACK INTO SPACE! I NEED THE EMPTINESS TO FILL MY EMPTINESS!" cried Andrew.

* * *

Back at the Diamond Steppe Island, the Smashers and GAG started making preparations to go to the Mother and Child Islands. Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight would lead the way inside the Arwing while the rest of them follow inside the GAG submarine. Meanwhile, some GAG members were assigned to keep their eyes on the group of Boos, who would probably fly back to King Boo (or rather, Pichu) to tell him where the secret is. As for Link, he's locked up and being tortured by Navi, no longer a threat to anyone. All and all, things were going great for the heroes so far.

"Should I ride in the submarine or can I just fly?" asked Pit.

"Some more air support would be useful." pointed out Meta Knight.

"Fine. But if we run into trouble, you better not fly off and ditch us." growled Samus.

"Me? Never!"

"So, Falco!" Fox approached his teammate. "Do you want to ride in the Arwing, just like old times?"

"Nah it wouldn't be the same. Besides..." Falco turned to where he heard Jigglypuff and Young Link talking and waved. "...I feel like hanging out with these guys."

"Oh. Okay." Fox looked at the ground in disappointment and walked over to Pikachu. "I think Falco just ditched me."

"Don't worry pal, you still have me. I'll never ditch you." said Pikachu.

"Really?"

"I'm stuck with you as long as this story is sstill alive and kicking."

"Oh." And so Fox went back to being sad and disappointed. He slumped over to the Arwing and got in with Meta Knight and Pikachu. Samus overlooked some Bokoblins piling into the submarine when Snake approached her.

"Samus, can I stay behind?" asked Snake.

"Why?"

"Well, with a large part of my life being built on absurdity and plot twists, I can expect that these guards would drop their guard on the Boos, and one of them is probably going to free Link. Someone who actually stands a chance against him should stay here. In my personal opinion, making sure things don't fall into a convoluted mess is better than _using half-assed science._" said Snake.

Pit frowned. "I heard that."

"You were meant to."

"Fine. You can stay in the base. But if you go into my secret supply of snacks, I'll rip your throat out." said Samus.

"...I didn't even know about it until you mentioned-" began Snake. A crackle of sudden thunder shut him up. Pikachu was glaring at everyone angrily.

"Hey! When are we going? I want this stupid story to end as fast as possible!" yelled Pikachu. No one had any arguments for that, as they hated being in this story as much as Pikachu. Snake descended into the GAG base as Fox's Arwing started to hover. It flew off at a somewhat slow speed, so that the submarine could catch up with them. Okay, the heroes have gotten off to a nice start. How about the villains?

* * *

(Un)fortunately, the villains did not know the exact Great Fairy Island that the secret is located at, and they are currently in a heated discussion about it's possible location. This had been going on through the night, because, let's face it. Without Giygas there to keep things under control, they're mainly uncooperative.

"I still say it's the Mother and Child Islands!" yelled Ridley. "Look! It has a name different from the others!"

"That's a little too obvious, don't you think?" pointed out Mewtwo.

"How about Thorned Fairy Island?" suggested Porky.

"Yeah! It sounds deadly, so there MUST be something there." said a WarioWare fan, from her vast knowledge of playing games.

"You're all wrong! It's so obviously Eastern Fairy Island!" yelled King Boo.

"We were just there dumbass!" countered Pikachu. Yep. Things aren't working out so... that's... good. ...Right? Damn, why do I like the villains so much?

George looked at the sky and nearly fell over in shock. "What the hell is that thing?"

* * *

"What the hell happened here?" said Pikachu in shock. The Arwing was hovering over Windfall Island, which is currently burning to the ground, it's fire illuminating the night. Oh yeah, it's nighttime. Remember that.

"Who's responsible for this?" said Meta Knight, horrified by this destruction.

"Fox, come in Fox." said Samus' voice inside the Arwing. Fox pressed a button and responded.

"Samus, how are you talking to me?" asked Fox.

"I hacked into your Arwing when no one was looking." handwaved Samus. "Where are you? You're not in our sight."

"Well, we're just kicking back somewhere. Relaxing. Watching a town burn down. Fun times." said Pikachu.

"What?"

"We're currently over... Windfall Island I think. Something horrible happened here. The buildings are on fire and I could see a few corpses..." said Meta Knight.

"Wait, those corpses are still looking alive.," said Fox, referring to the villains, whom he had not recognized. Pikachu, however, did.

"Fox you idiot! Those are most of the villains we ran into!" yelled Pikachu.

"Oh. That's bad... right?"

A shadow ball hits the wing of the Arwing. This was followed up by several more attacks: fireballs, lightning bolts, exploding spells, PK Thunder, vortexes of wind, thrown shoes, pills, and a Ridley who was flying at them at 55 MPH.

"HEY YOU GUIZ!" yelled Ridley as he flew toward them. Pikachu looked around Fox's control panel and pulled a trigger. Ridley gets a faceful of laser and he ends up falling straight into the ocean. The Arwing immeditely turned around and sped off to avoid getting hit.

* * *

"Those damn heroes." muttered Mewtwo.

"If we run into them again... can... can I kill them? For ditching me and breaking what's left of my heart and sanity? No offense to you Ashley. I like you now." said Lucas.

"Er... thanks?" responded Ashley.

"Can't we just follow them to the secret instead of arguing?" asked Vaati.

"That Arwing is too fast, plus it doesn't seem to be leaving a trail. So, I suggest we fish out Ridley and continue on with our discussion." said Mewtwo.

"...I still say Mother and Child Islands." said King Boo.

And the arguments started again.

* * *

Goobley was proud of himself for once in his life. Along with some other members, he was assigned to stare at a group of ghosts. If they took their eyes off them, they would spread vital details and free the monsterous Link. And that would be terrible. He thought that this was the most important job he ever got. Unfortunately, there was a problem: the other GAG members fell asleep, having succumbed to the night. But ChuChus didn't have the ability to sleep, so he did not succumb to the sandman. All he had to do is not blink or look away.

"Come on. Blink. You could do it." whispered one of the Boos.

"Blink and we can be free."

"Never, slurp."

"Hey look, Link escaped from his cell without our help."

"What?" Goobley turned around, expecting to see Link. But he saw nothing. He turned back... and saw that the Boos were gone. "Crap."

* * *

"Listen to me._ LISTEN TO ME! I AM SCOLDING YOU!_" yelled Navi.

Link was slumped against the wall. "Please... shut up..."

"Surprise mister Link!" shouted a voice. The door to the room Link was sealed in suddenly opened up, revealing the cackling Boo. "I'm breaking you out of this joint!"

"FINALLY! Quick, do you have a bottle?" said Link, glaring at Navi for a bit. The Boo briefly left the room and then returned with a milk bottle. Before the fairy could react, she was already trapped within a bottle. Link then put her in his inventory, because even though he hated her, she was still one of his bestest friends. Da'w. "There's no guards around here?"

"Most of those guys got into some submarine, and the monsters available were too scared to guard your room." snickered the Boo.

"Ha! Those idiots even left my bag of equipment outside my room!" laughed Link, grabbing his sword and other implements. "Let's get out of here!"

* * *

"Mr. Snake?" called out Goobley. Snake was sitting behind Samus' desk, eating a bag of potato chips that may or may not be from Samus' secret stash.

"Oh, glad you're here. Can you find a replacement bag of chips? Before my throat gets ripped out?" asked Snake.

"That's not important, slurp! The Boos got out of our sight!" yelled Goobley.

"What?" said Snake. Suddenly, they heard maniacal laughter ringing through the hallways. "Great, and he escaped too."

"What will we do?" asked Goobley.

Snake picked up a rocket launcher, checking to make sure it's loaded. "I remove the problem of course."

* * *

Link ran gleefully through the halls, trying to find the exit. There were still some GAG members at the base, but these members were ones that were too scared to join the others on the submarine. Since they were not as courageous as the others, they ran away upon seeing Link, hoping to god that he doesn't harvest them for jelly or whatever. With no one standing in his way, Link could successfully escape.

**BOOM**

"Oh no he's not." said Snake, responding to my narration. The wall directly behind Link had been blown to pieces, the Boo next to him shivering in fear. Link growled, unsheating his sword and running at Snake.

"Do you want to die again!" yelled Link.

"No. I'm not going to die." Snake performed a swift kick, kicking the flat end of the sword, preventing him from injury. The sword was thrown out of Link's hands and into a wall, getting it stuck there. "I've gotten smarter." Link widened his eyes, completely off guard. He ran to the wall, attempting to pull the sword out...

**BOOM AGAIN**

Link was blown several yards away from the wall as Snake stole the sword from the wall.

"Mine now." said Snake, mockingly waving the sword in front of the swordsman. The Boo, who was gaping at the scene, turned to Link and gasped.

"Hey! Your left arm was blown off!" screamed the Boo.

"So? I'm ambidextrous. Don't believe those stupid fan arguments." said Link. He turned and saw that Snake was preparing to launch another rocket at him. "Hey, get me out of here!" The Boo picked up Link by his other arm and flew to dodge a rocket fired by Snake, flying away. Snake dropped his rocket launcher in frustration, knowing that he couldn't catch up with them. But it wasn't all bad though. He managed to take off one of Link's arms and got the Master Sword. Speaking of the Master Sword...

Snake looked around a bit before he took out a cardboard box, sat in it, and started waving his sword around. "Behold, I am the Hero of Time." With not much else to do, Snake indulges himself in imagining himself as a swordsman feared and respected by everyone.

This is stupid. Let's go see what the villains are up to.

* * *

Porky was on the ground, getting his lights punched out by Dr. Mario, and he returned the favor by stabbing him with his hideous legs. Everyone else was standing around, taking bets and watching who wins.

"SOUTHERN!_ FAIRY!** ISLAND!**_" yelled Dr. Mario, emphasizing his words with punches to the face.

"THORNED FAIRY ISLAND!" yelled Porky. He picked up the doctor with the legs and tossed his several yards away. Despite having previous problems with standing up, Porky managed to do so and approached Dr. Mario. Everyone watched intently, to see if Porky would finish Dr. Mario off.

"SURPRISE!" yelled a Boo, appearing in between Porky and Dr. Mario. Porky fell over, and, to his discharging, he could not get back up, leaving it at a tie. Everyone else grumbled and gave their money to Mewtwo, who was the only one who had the foresight to guess that it would end in a draw.

"This is why you must think of every possibility." lectured Mewtwo. Pichu responded by jumping onto his head and trying to scratch his eyes out, like a cat would (how ironic). Mewtwo eventually picked up Pichu, threw him away, and approached the Boo. "You're those Boos Pichu sent, correct?"

"Yes! That's right! This secret crap you guys keep talking about is on Mother and Child Islands!" stated the Boo.

"HA! YES! I CALLED IT!" laughed Ridley as people gave him money (they also bet on the Dimensional Secret's location too; it's very mcuh likely that they bet on a variety of other things too).

"Yes, yes you did." said Mewtwo, grudgingly giving part of the money he won from the previous bet. "But where's Link?"

"Here I aaaaam!" screamed Link, falling out of the sky, landing in front of everyone. Half the people were put off by his missing arm, while the other half has seen worse.

"...Link, your arm is missing." said Ridley, stating the obvious.

"Nah, it's fine, I'm ambidextrous." said Link. Various people groaned and started paying Tom Nook, as they had earlier bet which hand Link used, and only he guessed that he was ambidextrous. Why are they gambling so much? Eh. Probably a villain thing. Chances are, many people will be ending up with empty wallets.

"Ah. But where's your sword?" asked Mewtwo.

"Stupid Snake took it from me. I wish I could kill him again and again and..." Link trailed off when he spotted George, along with the sword he was holding.

"What? No! Back off man!" yelled George. Link hung his head in disappointment.

"Well, we shouldn't worry about Link's sword problems for now. Those meddlesome heroes already have a headstart. We have to hurry and get that secret!" commanded Mewtwo.

* * *

The Arwing eventually met up with a distressed Pit.

"Hey! Where have you guys been!" asked Pit. Meta Knight opened up the cockpit so they can talk to him.

"We were just above Windfall Island. Giygas' cronies are currently there and they destroyed the village." said Meta Knight.

"Oh no! A guy from Windfall Island totally owes me 40 Rup... I mean... _oh no, those monsters!_" cried Pit in terror.

"...Have you guys gotten to the Mother and Child Islands yet?" asked Pikachu.

"No, the submarine is at least a mile away from there. We can see the islands from up here though." Pit pointed at a pair of islands far away; a small island and a larger one that can only be entered from the top. "I'd go in there already, but you guys should go first. You guys know all the other secrets anyway, so it'd make sense for you to collect them."

"Right! See you when we get the secret!" chirped Fox happily. He closed the cockpit and started to fly toward the islands while Pit chose to fly back to the submarine. Unknown to both of them, a familiar cat-like figure was trailing after the Arwing...

* * *

"Alright everyone, keep moving forward!" commanded Pichu, who was appointed leader in Mewtwo's place. The Pig Mask ships skidded over the waters while an unfortunate Ridley (yes, Dr. Mario and the WarioWare universe kooks were riding on him again) flew alongside them. It was supposed to be straight-forward: fly to the islands, meet up with Mewtwo, who had gone ahead without them, and then defend the islands from the heroes and GAG (whom they did not know about at the time). It seemed so easy too.

And then a missile flew at them. They easily avoided the missile, but Ridley suddenly got a worried look on his face.

"Oh my god. I can recognize those missiles from anywhere." gasped Ridley. The WarioWare folks recognized it as well and was equally as shocked.

"Who's is it?" asked Dr. Mario, having not recognized it.

"Welcome to the party assholes." said a cold voice. The GAG submarine was floating in front of the ships. On top of it was: Samus, Jigglypuff, Young Link, Falco, and several Moblins, armed with throwing spears. Samus turned to the Moblins and commanded, "Fire your spears!"

The Moblins threw the spears, making them whisk through the air, picking up good distance. If they were throwing javelins and if this was the Olympics, the newly-founded GAG team would have definitely won the javelin competition. Most of them simply flew past the ships... but one skewered straight through Vaati's.

"OH GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE!" screamed Tom Nook, getting as far away from the spear as possible. The appearance of the spear caused Vaati to move, accidently manuvering the ship into the water, right next to the submarine. Vaati popped his head and noticed the line of Moblins.

"Fellow Hylian creatures! I'll forgive this blasphemy toward me if you join us and fight against the heroes! Your handsome prince Vaati demands it!" commanded Vaati, hoping that his charisma would bring the Moblins to his side.

One of them responded by launching a spear at Vaati, nearly taking his head off.

"Your turn to go up there Nook." gulped Vaati.

"Me? Do you think a broom can fight a spear?" responded Nook.

"I can go up there. I'll happily sacrifice my life for you Lord Vaat-" George was shoved through the entrance. The Moblins were scared out of their wits upon seeing him. Suddenly, Samus and Falco stepped out of the way to allow Young Link to approach George.

"Wow! A Darknut! This will be fun!" said Young Link cheerfully.

George gave him an odd look. "Are you even taking me seriously?"

"Jig-gi-ly-puff..." sang a melodious voice behind George; Jigglypuff had snuck up behind him. Before he knew it, George fell asleep... and was then pushed into the ocean by Young Link, his armor dragging him to Hyrule's former surface, bringing him to a watery grave. Yep... definitely not seeing him again. As far as you know.

On top of King Boo and Pichu's ship, Pichu was charging up a large lightning bolt to strike the submarine and burn it down (well, it is made of wood after all). With all of the confusion going on, Pichu hoped that he could destroy the submarine unhindered.

And then the Arwing flew by, shooting lasers at the enemy team. The lasers managed to down Porky's ship and gain Pichu's attention. He looked up and saw Pikachu's smug face looking at him.

"ARGH! PIKACHU!" yelled Pichu, focusing his attack and anger onto his evolution.

"Stop! You're supposed to be firing at the submarine!" whined King Boo. Pichu did not listen. He released a large beam of electricity, which could have completely destroyed the submarine, at the Arwing... and completely missed it. While Pichu was kicking the top of the ship and cursing, he did not notice an energy shot fired at him by Samus. Pichu was knocked into the sea while King Boo contineud to watch, being completely useless (honestly, what fighting skills does he have?). Samus took a break from shooting at people and used her helmet to communicate with the Arwing.

"Guys! Weren't you heading to the islands?" asked Samus.

"Well sorry, but I wanted to be in the fight scene." said Fox.

"I tried to keep him from turning back, but Pikachu was holding me down." complained Meta Knight.

"Hey! I don't want to be missed out on the fight!" yelled Pikachu.

"Just go get the secret!" snapped Samus. "We can handle them on our own!" To prove her point, she picked up a ChuChu and threw it up into the air, into the eyes of Ridley. While Ridley screamed about living jelly trying to get in through his eyelids, the Arwing grudgingly turned back from the battle, which was good because they were almost shot down by Lucas' PK Thunder.

"Aw... I wanted to destroy them..." whined Lucas.

"Wait, Lucas, is that you?" gasped Falco, upon hearing Lucas' voice.

"Yes, it's me." giggled Lucas. Ashley suddenly remembered Falco's sight problems that she heard from the others and grabbed Lucas, holding him close to her.

"Oh yes, we have Lucas as a hostage." lied Ashley, continuing to hug Lucas close to her while bringing out a knife. "If you don't get out of our way, I'll slit his throat."

"Please Falco! Help!" screamed Lucas fakely. "This girl's been torturing me and feeding me weird stuff and I think she has a sadism fetish toward me." Ashley blushed scarlet and hit Lucas in the head.

"Ha ha, I may be a sadist, but I don't hurt you because I like you or anything..." stammered Ashley.

"Falco, don't! He's on their sid-" pleaded Jigglypuff, but Falco had already jumped in the water and was swimming toward where he heard Lucas crying. Porky came out, awaiting for the fly to fall into his spider trap. As in, the moment he reaches them, he'll kick his ass. Sorry for over-explaining this.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late!" shouted a voice. Pit descended from the sky as Falco reached the edge of the ship. He grabbed Falco, pulling him out of the way of Porky's spider leg strike. He retaliated by puching Porky in the face and flying to the submarine to regroup.

"Ow! That really hurts you know!" cried Porky. Meanwhile, back on the submarine, Young Link watched the events calmly: Tom Nook was batting away GAG soldiers with his broom, Vaati was desperately crying out to George, Porky was crying about his nose, Ridley was flying corkscrews through the air to the misfortune of his riders, Pichu was trying not to drown, leaving only Lucas and Ashley available to fight. GAG was clearly getting the upper-hand in this battle. The enemy side would have been more successful if they had more soldiers on their side. Still, Young Link thought there was something... missing.

"What's up little me!" shouted a voice similar to Young Link's. Young Link turned and was met with a punch to the face.

"Oh, hi Link. What happened to your other arm?" asked Young Link, rubbing his cheek.

"Your friend Snake blew it off. But it doesn't matter, because I can still beat the crap out of you with one arm!" shouted Link, punching again. Link rolled away immediately afterward as Samus and Pit shot at him. He was confronted by a Moblin, whom he then kicked in the crotch and pushed him into the waters. "COME AT ME!"

By the looks of it, most of the people from Giygas' side was participating in this fight. Samus however had a feeling that there was still someone missing...

* * *

Meanwhile, the squirrels were witnessing the fight from high above. But instead of joining in or grabbing popcorn, they were rather ticked.

"Oh come on! Everytime we go to a new universe, there's some bullshit going on! When are we going to find peace!" yelled Not Sheldon.

"Face it boss. There's no such thing as peace." said Jefferson, channeling Lucas for a brief moment.

"Look! It's those space guys we keep running into!" Andrew pointed at the Arwing, which was flying past them.

"Oh great. Those guys pratically curse every place we go to." growled Not Sheldon.

"...Want to break their kneecaps boss?" asked Joey, concerned at their leader's anger.

"Yes, maybe that shall break the curse!" said Not Sheldon, actually believing the bizarre theory that the main trio has been cursing them wherever they go.

"Sir, there's no such thing as curses." said Jefferson, but Not Sheldon ignored him, instead, he sped their vessel full throttle toward the Arwing.

* * *

"Okay, the island is just down there." said Pikachu. The Mother and Child Islands was a tough place to enter. While the Child island could easily be accessed, the Mother island was surrounded by an impossible to climb rock wall. It could only be accessed by going in through above. And that's precisely what they were trying to accomplish.

"Fox, can't you just dive in?" asked Meta Knight, wondering why Fox doesn't just drive the Arwing straight into the island.

"But Meta Knight, my dad told me if I fly straight down, **I WOULD DIE.**" said Fox.

"Really? Let me help you with that." said someone sitting on the Arwing's wing. Like a gremlin on a plane, Mewtwo was right there, sitting on the wing of the Arwing. His hand was charged with dark energy.

Pikachu glared. "You wouldn't."

"I would. Au revoir." Mewtwo punched through the wing with his charged arm, destroying the Arwing and sending it spiraling toward the ground. Mewtwo laughed and started to float toward the Mother island. Fox's poor Arwing burried itself in the sand of a nearby island. How many ships have they crashed? I honestly lost count.

"**NO!** _MY ARWING! THIS IS WORSE THAN LOSING GYROID!_" cried Fox, crawling out of the wreckage of his dear ship and staring forlornly at the mess.

Meta Knight gave him a pat on the back, understanding the loss of a fine vessel. "There's no time for tears. We have to get that secret quickly. Mewtwo could be getting it as we speak."

"Look alive, we have company." said Pikachu. A ship descended from the sky, stopping in front of them. The entrance opened up revealing... yep, the squirrels. "What do you guys want now?"

"Sheldon believes that everywhere you guys go is cursed to have civil unrest, so he plans on breaking your knees to fix the problem." said Jefferson.

Fox laughed. "Even I know curses aren't real."

"Wait." said Meta Knight. "Squirrels, before you go on the nonsensical crusade against us, can you help us?"

"What?" said Not Sheldon.

"We need to get in that island. Plus there's a giant cat there and we'd be happy if you shoot him up." said Pikachu.

"Uhuh... and why should we help you? We don't have the time to help you. We need to break your kneecaps first then look for a good home." snapped Not Sheldon.

"A good home you say?" responded Meta Knight. "I might know of a place."

"Really?" said Fox.

"Forest Haven Island, remember?" whispered Meta Knight. Fox nodded, recalling that island.

"That doesn't sound like a spacey place." said Andrew quietly.

"Shaddap Andrew. You've had your head in the stars for too long." said Joey.

"We'll tell you the location of a nice home if you help us out." offered Meta Knight. Not Sheldon thought about it and then scowled.

"Fine. Get in. But if this turns out t be a lie, we'll beat you up worse than that Jeff kid." said Not Sheldon.

"Jeff?" asked Meta Knight, surprised.

"Long story." answered Pikachu.

* * *

Mewtwo was currently getting into an argument with the Great Fairy within the Mother island. The Great Fairy was worried whether Mewtwo was a villain or not.

"Are you sure you're not evil? You smell like ash, like the ones coming from Windfall Island." said the Great Fairy.

"I told you, I did not cause that fire." said Mewtwo impatiently. To be technical, he was telling the truth.

"Hey Mewtwo! Surprise!" yelled Pikachu, falling out of the squirrel's ship, which was directly above the island. Pikachu landed on Mewtwo's face, and, like his evolution before him, he started to scratch Mewtwo's eyes out. The Great Fairy watched amused as Mewtwo tried to pry the electric mouse off his face. When he finally succeeded in that, he found himself face to face with a lot of machine guns.

"Yo Mewtwo guy. Get the hell off this island." said Joey.

"Hold the phone, you guys are those squirrels from the Animal Crossing universe!" said Mewtwo.

"Yes! But this time, we can actually shoot you! We're helping these guys out, so any of their enemies are officially our enemies. Leave, or we'll turn you into swiss cheese!" yelled Not Sheldon. Mewtwo was silent. Pikachu was acting smug. Fox was happy that the squirrels weren't pointing the guns at him. Meta Knight was amused along with the Great Fairy. And the squirrels were as deadly as ever. Finally, Mewtwo, saying nothing, floated out of the island, knowing that he wouldn't stand a chance against several rounds of bullets.

The Great Fairy took a good look at everyone and then finally said, "You guys are the heroes?"

"Technically." said Fox.

"...You people are weird." said The Great Fairy. "So, I assume this is about the secret?"

"Yeah. We're the only ones getting it though." said Pikachu, referring to him, Fox, and Meta Knight.

"Very well. Squirrels please step back. Heroes, step forward and stand in front of the fountain." Both parties obeyed. Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu stared into the fountain. At first, everything seemed perfectly normal, with relatively normal reflections staring back at them. But suddenly, the reflections morphed and mixed into each other, creating the image of Crazy Hand. Then, they lost consiousness...

* * *

"Wow! You guys did it! You really did it!" said Crazy Hand excitedly. "All seven secrets... Now you'll know how to get to the center of the universe, and you'll also know about the Riddles!"

"Riddles? What riddles? Do we have to go around and collect them, because I'm tired of collecting stuff." said Pikachu.

"Oh no. You see, these riddles are special. Instead of presenting you with the question,_ YOU GET NO QUESTION!_" yelled Crazy Hand. "You see, every secret has you learn the answer_ and_ the question. That way, no one could just hear the question and try to study it up to look for the answer!"

"How... odd. It sounds like a pretty effective defense though." admitted Meta Knight.

"And after you give the answers, you'll be whisked off here, to Subspace! We can celebrate with a party and stuff! Ooh! Maybe I could ask bro if we can have balloons!" said the giant hand.

"Yay! Balloon party!" cheered Fox.

"Hold on! The center of the universe leds to Subspace?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yup! It's the only way there other than following one of us there!" chirped Crazy Hand. "So, do you want chocolate cake for the party?"

"Forget about your stupid party! The villains are close behind, and since you hand out secrets all willy-nilly, they'll know how to get to the center of the universe and break into Subspace! Do you want another Subspace Emissary incident!" yelled Pikachu.

"No... maybe..." admitted Crazy Hand. "Well, whether that other group are villains or not, I'm confident that you guys will enter Subspace first!" He pointed his finger at them, ready to bestow the final Dimensional Secret. "See you guys at the party!"

* * *

"Hey, wake up." said a Boo. Link opened his eyes. He was completely drenched and was laid out on the shore of an island. The villains were gathered again on a different island. It was now the early morning, with the sun rising over the horizon. Most people were either sleeping or unconscious.

"Bluh... what happened..." asked Link.

"Let me summarize: they kicked our ass." said Porky. "Maybe if we had more soldiers on hand, we could have fought them of- _OH WAIT._ They were burned to death!" He glared at Ashley and Lucas, who were sleeping next to each other.

"Didn't you help burn them down?" inquired a WarioWare fan.

"LIES! I'M AWESOME, THEREFORE, I DON'T SCREW UP!" yelled Porky.

"...What about the secret?" asked Link.

"Well apparently, there's a smart-ass Great Fairy and Mewtwo got scared off by a bunch of squirrels..." said Vaati.

"They had machine guns pointed at me!" protested Mewtwo.

"...anyway, we're waiting for those guys to clear out and have someone more innocent-looking get the secret." said Vaati.

"...Bet that we're going to use one of our kids to get the secret?"

"You're on."

* * *

The GAG submarine stopped at Forest Haven to drop off a certain group of furry creatures. The squirrels were running around the Deku Tree there, happy that they're in their natural environment. Even Not Sheldon was smiling. Jefferson and Andrew were the only ones unhappy during all this.

"A giant talking tree? That's completely illogical!" yelled Jefferson, referring to the Deku Tree.

"It's over... Our space adventures are over..." said Andrew, tears glistening in his eyes.

"This is a pretty nice place! It's like our old home in Hyrule!" gasped Not Sheldon.

"Because it is Hyru- ow." Fox was elbowed in the stomach by Meta Knight.

"Sorry for all the attempts to kill you and try to screw with your lives. " apologized Not Sheldon, "At some point, I wanted to stop being involved in these shenanigans and I just wanted some peace."

"Well we'll make sure that this universe stays peaceful." said Meta Knight confidently.

"Oh, by the way, can we have your ship? Mines sort of... sniff... b-blew up!" cried Fox.

"Sure, take it. We sure as hell don't need it anymore." said Not Sheldon. He turned and started growling. "Hands off guys! I saw those acorns first!" And so Not Sheldon ran off to join the other squirrels in trying to get acorns. The squirrels would be happy in their little forest... well, as far as we know. But until we see them again, which I doubt (but even I doubt my own doubts), they'll be living in the Forest Haven happily. The main trio, finally glad that their escapades with the squirrels were finally over, left the island and joined up with the others. Falco was uninjured (quite an achievement considering the fact that he fought a battle blind), Samus and Pit had minor injuries from a scrape from Ridley and Dr. Mario, and Young Link had the worst injuries, having multiple wounds all over the body, especially the face. He could have been killed (yes, Link was winning despite having one arm and no sword) if it weren't for Jigglypuff putting him to sleep and Falco beating him in the head with a bat.

"Hey guys." greeted Young Link in a weak voice.

"Do you have any more detours? We need to get to Windfall Island to look for survivors, asap." said Samus.

"By the looks of things though, I think that everyone there is dead." said Pit nervously. "I hope we could get our hands on some fairies."

"I think that there might have been some within the Mother Island." said Meta Knight.

"Hey..." interrupted Falco. "I just thought... could the fairies cure my eyesight?"

"Anything is possible in this messed up world!" laughed Fox. "After all, me and Pit did something that spit in the face of science and logic!"

"Wait, so you guys have all seven secrets now?" asked Jigglypuff.

"That's right Jiggles." answered Pikachu.

"Okay, but... what now?"

Nobody had an answer to that question.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_To fans of Snake, I'm sorry for not including him in the battle. But hey, he got revenge on Link, so that counts for something. Anyway, all seven Dimensional Secrets have been obtained by the heroes, and the villains would probably get the last one later. On the subject of the squirrels, I wasn't quite sure how to include them in the final battle without a logical reason, so, I gave them a happy ending. That's one loose end tied up. So, the final battle is coming. Are you prepared? No? Then allow me to confuse you with some questions! Ahem, is Ashley a Yandere? Can Link kill a guy with one arm? Will GAG participate in the final battle? Will the other Smashers come into play? **When will I update that goddamn Halloween story!** Fine out in the next chapter, which will be the start of the final arc. See you soon!_


	28. Beginning of the End

_Well, I'm back! Before we kick off with the final story arc, I need to recitify something. In Meta's Wonderful Failure, Giygas stole my binder and figured out that the Wind Waker's unvierse's secret was in Forsaken Fortress. Apparently, I forgot about this plot point because not only was everyone clueless about it's location, but the location itself changed. There can only be one reasonable answer._

_I changed the location. :D_

**_What! You can't do that!_**

_Yes I can, I'm the author, Giygas. Everything in that stupid binder's subject to final change!_

**_I hate you._**

_I know you do. Well, let's get back to the story! And to those wondering, yes, Giygas stealing the binder is still a plot point. Giygas is still scheming something after all, but I can't put my finger on it... Please enjoy and review, because your reviews make my day (hint hint)!_

* * *

_Chapter 27: Beginning of the End_

_Alternate Chapter Name: The One Where Stuff Happens_

* * *

"Welcome to the Great Fairy Fountain, how can I... oh... OH DEAR!" The Great Fairy was shocked when Link descended from the ceiling, sporting only one arm. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." dismissed Link.

"Well... normal fairies can't heal missing limbs... but I think I could regenerate it for you..." The Great Fairy approached Link, stretching out her arm. A light started to form where Link's other arm used to be and flesh and bone started to grow, forming a completely new arm. Link celebrated by clapping his hands together like an excited child.

"I seriously did not know you guys could do that!" giggled Link. Suddenly, he stopped giggling, instead, showing a more business-like look. "Thank you for that, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here about the Dimensional Secret."

"Another guy? ...Can I trust you?" asked the Great Fairy.

Link showed his arm, which had his Triforce of Courage brand. "You can trust me. I'm the Hero of Time."

* * *

Roy and Jeff were in a cozy rec room, reading several journals. These journals were actually the journals of their comrades. Since they were not busy directing minions to build stuff and Giygas never promised privacy rights for any of them, they decided to pass the time by reading them.

* * *

_hi journal ridley here. my writing skills improved since last time because im not mispelling stuff yay! so several days ago the boss guy told me to get this journal from the dumb authors room. i dont know why he wanted it so bad. and after that he returned it! maybe he learned something that will help us actually succeed in taking over the dimension since well not likely win? i dont know what he could do though. we cant tamper with the story and we cant murder the author so what. eurgh thinking over this is hard. i know. lets think of coffee. yes coffee is nice. oh no. oh no! the coffee burns aargh! i really dont know why i wrote that down. just felt like it. oh whatever i heard giygas is throwing us a party soon so i gotta get going. note to self work on capitalization and more punctuation. i want to be a sophisticated dino dragon thing. also note to self research what i actually am because i forgot and i think i forgot because a space pirate dropped me on the head when i was a baby or something._

* * *

_No matter what I do, everyone thinks I'm a loser. I'm royalty damn it! Maybe I should desert while I'm at it. Bowser sort of treated me better. Then again, they'll probably kill me on the spot. ...Hold the phone I'm a ghost, I could totally survive that! But what if Giygas really did have the power to eat people's souls? If so, I'm screwed. I guess I'm staying with these jerks. Oh hey Survivor is coming on I have to go._

* * *

_Today I went to the psychologist and was diagnosed to have been born with a sadistic personality disorder. He theorized that either my parents left me to live on my own out of fear or they too were sadists and didn't really care much for me. All standard fare. Then, the guy actually had the nerve to suggest that my constant torture on Lucas is a sign of affection. I'm tired of people suggesting that we are in love, so, I gouged out his eyes and watched him bleed to death slowly. Yes, I certainly did get my kicks off of that._

* * *

_THE FABULOUS LIFE AND TIMES OF LORD VAATI_

_Before Giygas stole the information from me, I could recall something about seven untold riddles, all of whom lie in each secret you get. That's like, great and junk. We don't have to run around and collect the secrets, we sort of already get it. What we're going to do with them though is beyond me..._

_So, like, we're heading to the Great Sea. I went back to my universe briefly to do some recruiting, but I didn't look for much. My great charisma can certainly whoo people over, but, I still need at least one tough guy to pressure people. Then, this Darknut signed himself up! Yes, with this Darknut, anything's possible! They are unbeatable... then again, he could drown by falling into the ocean and being weighed down by his armor, but what are the chances of that happening, like, totally? Anyway, got to go. I need to replace my hat after that little adventure with King Boo. Ugh, he's so annoying._

* * *

_Thanks to Giygas, I am making so much money! Of course, they are all in foregin currencies, but Giygas plans on uniting the universes, making some sort of stock exchange type deal. Bwhahaha! I, Tom Nook, shall become the richest person in the world! I will stomp all over those jerks at Wal-Mart (with that weird girl who wants to destroy it for some bizarre reason) and become EMPEROR OF SALES! Stores will bow down to me as I buy them out! Capitalism, ho! ...Wow, the craziness here is starting to rub off on me. Maybe I need some pills..._

* * *

_After this drunken, murderous incident, I recalled my old days of being friends with Ness. Sure, we were dicks to each other, but we still had fun. I just got off the phone to tell the Pig Masks to treat Ness as a friend rather than a prisoner. Maybe he'll turn to our side when he sees Jeff on our side. Is Jeff even his friend? Whatevs. Now then, to wait for someone to pick me off this floor. Spider legs aren't working. I think the alcohol did something to them?_

_PS. Why is my journal in this room and in easy reaching distance?_

* * *

_MEWTWO LOG_

_I'm curious to know what Giygas is planning. I've been with the Smashers, and I know they're definitely strong enough to win, as much as I hate them (especially Lucario). However, knowing him, he must have an ace up his sleeve. So anyw-_

* * *

"_What are you guys doing._" said Mewtwo in a cold voice. Roy and Jeff turned around and dropped their books in complete shock, as their comrades were gathered around the door, looking very angry.

"Oh. Hey you guys. We're just... um... Roy, help me out here." whispered Jeff.

"...Oh right! We're here to burn your diaries for you!" Roy pulled out his sword and slashed the diaries, setting them ablaze. He looked proud for himself. "No thanks are necessar-"

Horrible, horrible screaming rung for miles. Giygas was curious about what was going on, but he was too busy preparing for his victory to care.

* * *

"_YOU DID WHAT!_" yelled Pikachu.

"I'm sorry, but he was the Hero of Time! I didn't know he turned evil!" defended the Great Fairy. Fox, Pit, Snake, and Jigglypuff were trying their hardest to keep Pikachu down (which was hard since Pikachu kept shocking them) while Meta Knight, Samus, and Young Link repeatedly apologized to the Great Fairy for his behavior.

"We don't blame you. We thought he was on our side too." said Samus in a bitter voice.

"I DON'T FORGIVE HER! THOSE ASSHOLES MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN THIS THING AND-" yelled Pikachu, but his yelling was immediately overshadowed by Falco's yelling.

"Hey can you fix my eyes? Seriously, I hate not seeing." demanded Falco.

"Oh, your eyes? Easy." the Great Fairy made a scissors gesture with her hand and poked Falco in his eyes. He yelped in pain, but then, he opened his eyes..

"Holy crap! I can see again!"

"Good for you Falco!" chirped Jigglypuff.

"Now we can fly together again! That is, if my Arwing didn't crash..." said Fox.

"I'm glad for you." said Samus.

"The colors! Everything looks so colo- _ARGH! THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!_" screamed Falco, the light being too much for him to take in. He writhed on the floor, crying. Yep, Fox gets injured all the time and now Falco. It must run in the StarFox team.

"Yes! Everything is okay now!" cheered Pit. He was thrown backward when Pikachu angrily shocked him.

"Like hell it is! Giygas probably already has an army to reach the center of the dimension, while all we are is... is..." said Pikachu.

"A bunch of crazy idiots?" suggested Snake.

"That hurts, but it's exactly what I was looking for."

"Don't worry, we'll find a way to rally some Smashers to our cause." said Meta Knight.

"How? It's not as if we have a psychic or something!" yelled Pikachu.

"...We'll find a way..."

* * *

After everyone was done beating up Roy and Jeff, they went outside to marvel at what Smash Castle and New Pork City was transformed into. The two were more or elss combined, with a giant metal hull wrapped around it with New Pork City's jets positioned in the back like a spaceship. Many of the New Pork City buildings had turrets on them and the Empire Pork building was severely shortened, turned into a command deck. Smash Castle was a little less impressive, but there were lots of weapons armed and dangerous. This thing could take down a space whale. No, an entire flock of space whales. And what a goddamn shame that there's no such thing as space whales.

"Impressive, is it not?" Giygas questioned the others as he descended from the sky toward them.

"It's kick-ass!"

"Awesome!"

"Will we be hunting space whales with this?"

"Are you sure this thing is safe?"

"Yes, it's safe. Relatively. I've told Jeff and the Pig Mask and Starmen scientists to draw up a plan that won't backfire spectacularly. The rates of this thing blowing up is 5%, but that's something we can work with. The weapons are also tested. Just don't throw yourself in front of those frying lasers, or _you will die. _I will not be held accountable because you died being an idiot." said Giygas. He looked around a bit. "Where is Jeff and Roy anyway?"

Tom Nook's voice was heard in the distance. "FORE!" A brutally battered Roy and Jeff joined the scene, crashing into the ground, as if someone hit them with a golf club. Replace the club with a broom and that's precisely what happened.

"...Boss, they beat us up..." moaned Roy.

"I can fix that for you." offered Dr. Mario.

"No." said Giygas. "Those two are visting a real doctor. Not a crackpot."

"Aww..."

"...yes, prepare him cakes, and lots of them! We'll be celebrating our victory! Oh, and if he finally turns to our side, give him ice cream with the cake. Get to it soldiers!" shouted Porky on a cell phone. He hung up and noticed the looks he was getting. "If you want to know, the cakes are for Ness."

"...You're feeding Ness cake?" asked King Boo.

"Yeah! I want us to be bros again, like the days before I became a villain! ...I'm still keeping him locked up though. He keeps trying to smash people's heads in with the baseball bat I gave him." said Porky.

"...Pardon." said Giygas. "While I may just barely tolerate you pampering one of my worst enemies, I will question... **WHY DID YOU GIVE HIM A BASEBALL BAT!**"

"...It's for when I want to play baseball with him..."

Lucas broke the silence. "...Why don't you bake cake Ashley? I thought we were friends."

"Yeah, and what about you King Boo? Cake is better than your dumb cupcakes." said Ridley.

"Shut up." said both Ashley and King Boo.

* * *

Ness was sitting in a chair in a grand dining room, waiting for a meal that Porky had apparently ordered for him. He had been locked up in a cell for a few months when suddenly, Porky commanded that Ness be released from his cell. Since then, he's been treated like a prince, however, he's not allowed to leave. Since he has no support whatsoever, he thought that escaping would be suicide and decided that it was best to accept Porky's lavish, if strictly controlled, gifts. Besides, who would refuse perfectly good gifts?

"YOU HAVE A SPECIAL MEAL TODAY." a Starman announced as some other Starmen brought in platters of cake. It would make Betty Crocker proud.

"...What's with all the cake?" asked Ness.

"IT'S TO CELEBRATE. TODAY LORD GIYGAS IS GOING TO THE ENTER OF THE DIMENSION." said the Starman. Ness, who had just taken his first bite of cake, spit it out.

"_What!_"

"IT'S RUDE TO EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL." The Starman started to leave. "IF YOU NEED MORE CAKE, JUST CALL."

Ness looked at the massive amounts of cake and found it absurd that the Starman would think that he would want more. However, he was more concerned about Giygas. By the looks of things, Giygas is almost to the center of the dimension and the heroes... How to contact them? He has no more PP to use for telepathy and...

Then he saw a large chocolate cake. Made of Magic Truffles.

He grinned.

* * *

Members of GAG scurried around Windfall Island, looking for bodies within the ash. While the Smashers went off to the Mother and Child Islands, they were trying to find a way to revive the dead villagers and rebuild the town. Luckily, they came across Tingle. They spent quite a few hours negotiating with Tingle to release his fairies, however, he didn't break. When the Smashers came though, they finally reached a deal where Tingle gives them some fairies, and they give an autograph signed by the Great Fairy. Fair trade.

"It.. it was horrible... the laughter, the... THE DOCTOR! THE DOCTOOOOR!" screamed a villager. Young Link patted him on the back, attempting to comfort him.

"Don't cry too much. Trouble happens wherever and whenever The Doctor goes. It's standard fare." said Young Link.

"...He was talking about Dr. Mario, not the Time Lord, you moron." pointed out Pikachu.

"...I knew that."

The villager stopped crying. "Time Lord? Do you mean the Hero of Time?"

"He's sorta... um... evil now. Sorry." said Pit. The villager went back to crying, believing that all hope was lost. Meanwhile, Fox, Meta Knight, Snake, and Jigglypuff was brainstorming on what to do next.

"...maybe we could make a plot hole. It'll work out for everyone!" said Fox.

"No. Plot holes are unpredictable. For all we know, it could pop up near Giygas." said Meta Knight.

"Stealth. Stealth is the answer." said Snake.

"That's a method, not an actual answer."

"You never know until you try."

"We could hope for a deux ex machina." suggested Jigglypuff.

"No."

"That actually sounds like a good idea." said a passing Samus.

"Yeah! Let random plot stuff happen!" cheered Fox.

"Seems more sensible than the stuff that goes on in my universe." said Snake.

"No. No. That is absolutely perposterous. While Hyper makes mistakes, I'm pretty sure he's improved to the point that he won't rely on a deux ex machinima." stated Meta Knight.

"_Here I am_." said a voice. Everyone looked around wildly. For a second, they thought they heard Ness. "_They did hear me._" Everyone except Meta Knight and Snake (who, despite his eccentricities, has a firmer grip on reality) looked around wildly, trying to locate Ness.

"Oh no! They killed Ness and his ghost is haunting us!" screamed Fox.

"_I'm not dead Fox. I'm communicating with you guys telepathically._"

"Wh-When could you do this?" asked Meta Knight.

_"I learned it from Paula, but I haven't had any PP to really use it till now. But now, I have a lot of PP replenishing food. In fact, I think it's possible for me to communicate with all the other Smashers._"

"That's great! We really need your help right now!" shrieked Jigglypuff.

"Yes. We have all the secrets, but so does Giygas. We need you to contact all the other Smashers so we can rally against him." said Meta Knight.

"_That'll be easy._"

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but most of us don't know any of these secrets, so we have no idea where the center of the universe is. Plus, the secrets are scattered knowledge between Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight, so they don't have a complete knowledge of it's location either." exposited Snake.

"Well... maybe I could extract the secrets out of your head and.. distribute it to everyone."

"You can do that?" asked Jigglypuff.

_"I'll try_..." Everyone was silent, waiting for something to happen until Meta Knight and Fox felt a great pain in their heads. Meta Knight winched while Fox started to have a spazz attack. Somewhere else on the island, Pikachu could be heard screaming, "WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT!" Their friends looked on in concern until the pain went away. "_Okay... That's a lot to take in... Need more cake... MMF! Delicious! ...Oh right, now to redistribute it. You first Meta Knight._" Meta Knight's head started to hurt again, but it was less painful than last time and was a bit more quicker.

"...Hmm. Pushmo Park seems to be an interesting place. I might consider visiting that place for my vacation." said Meta Knight, analyzing his knowledge along with the knowledge he had just gained.

Pikachu scurried in on the scene. "Can the rest of you hear Ness in your heads? He's making my head hurt with knowledge."

"Yeah, we can hear... OH!" shouted Fox. "I suddenly know everything! ...and now to work on forgetting it."

"_I'll get to work on spreading it around... I hope to see you guys soon..."_

Pit stumbled in. "Hey, did anyone else hea-"

"Yes." said everyone else.

* * *

Peach opened some drawers and started to stuff various foodstuffs inside a basket. Now's not the time to fish or catch bugs. Ness just contacted her and told her to join up with the rest of the Smashers at the center of the dimension. She's not going to stay here and dwadle while everyone else fights. She decided to leave quietly at night, so as to not panic the villagers. All of the villagers were her friends, and she would really hate for them to worry about her.

"Hello, welcome to Nookington's, how may I help you?" asked an odd creature. Tom Nook had suddenly disappeared awhile ago, but not before upgrading his store. In his place was a creature that didn't appear to be from this universe. Peach thought it looked like a Waddle Dee, but she dismissed that idea. How can a Waddle Dee be here anyway?

"Do you have a spaceship in stock?" asked Peach.

"Hmm... yes. Mr. Nook sent it here this morning. ...Stupid Tom Nook and me having to owe him money..." said the Not-Waddle Dee. He stopped being a sadsack and turned back into his employee persona. "I'll go get it for you. Please leave some bells on the counter." The Not-Waddle Dee went to retrieve the spaceship. Peach left her payment on the counter, when she suddenly noticed something stocked in a shelf: bags of Mushroom Kingdom coins. Could it be? ...No, probably just seeing things. Perhaps she was homesick.

Speaking of home.

* * *

Toad Town and parts of the surrounding areas have been abandonned. The omniscient clouds completely covered the town. Just a few minutes in that place would make people go mad. And so, the capital of the Mushroom Kingdom was actually moved to Bowser's Castle. Everyone was mostly okay about it, since the kingdoms weren't fighting plus Bowser wasn't around to screw things up. The only one who had an objection to this union was Bowser Jr, but no one cares about him. As a result, his castle was taken away from him like debt collectors do. Or is it the bank? Or is it the Daleks? Man, I know nothing about the economy.

Luigi ran into the dining room, stopping to breathe. "G...Guys... did you-a..."

"Yes, we heard-a him Luigi. We also know-a the secrets." said Mario. He and the others were eating a light snack before they take off for the center of the dimension.

"I now know where those Heart Pieces are! I will get them before Link next time so he won't have high health!" laughed Ganondorf.

"Unelss he goes for a three-heart run." pointed out Popo.

"Shut up kid."

"B-But how will we-a get to the center of the dimension? The Toads cannot-a make a new spaceship on short-a notice! Especially since they're-a genius went wacko!" yelled Luigi.

Everyone tried to think of a situation. Nana came up with something. "What about the clown car?"

"...What's a clown?" asked Ganondorf.

"It's a freak who-a scares you..." cried Luigi, curling up because of fear of clowns.

"No! Bowser's clown car helicopter thing! We could use it to fly there! All we would need is a glass dome and oxygen source!"

"Fantastic! Hey, Junior!" yelled Mario. Bowser Jr, who was raiding the fridge in the kitchen (the castle is technically his...), pops his head in.

"What do you losers want?" asked Bowser Jr.

"Where's your-a dad's Koopa Clown Car? We're-a gonna need that!" said Mario.

* * *

"Kirby, I'm not so sure about this." said Olimar nervously. As soon as they got the message, Kirby ran off to get them tranportation. Unfortunately for Olimar, his idea of transportation was a very much unsafe Warp Star.

"What's the problem?" asked Kirby.

"Well, the wind and momentum would blow me off the Warpstar, along with my remaining Pikmin." said Olimar.

"Oh don't worry, I got that covered!" Kirby looked around the Warp Star and then pulled a hatch. The hatch opened up to a glove compartment that Oimar and his Pikmin could fit into. Plus. they could ride without getting hurled into space. Olimar didn't like the cramped conditions, but he decided to make do. Kirby carefully picked up Olimar and his Pikmin companions and put them into the compartment.

"Thank you Kirby. Now, let's get going, shall we?"

* * *

"Hey! Hyper guy!" yelled Samurai Goroh.

Sup.

"What about me! I was sort of imporant in this story!" protested Goroh.

Yeah... but you're technically not a Smasher.

"What about Waluigi?" asked Waluigi, suddenly appearing by Goroh's side.

"Who the hell are you?" aked Goroh.

A guy that's also not appearing again in the story. Sorry.

"Oh, you can just go to hell you motherfu-"

"WAA! NO CURSING!"

* * *

Unfortunately, Ness was unaware that Link and Lucas was turned to Giygas' side, so he too alerted them. The two collapsed in pain from the information Ness was feeding them. When it went away, they stood back up to face the others.

"The Smashers know! THEY KNOW THE SECRETS! _THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!_" yelled Link.

"Ness told us it!" yelled Lucas. Everyone turned to glare at a very ashamed Porky. He anxiously got out his cell phone to call his servants.

"Hey, idiots, what are the ingredients you used in Ness' cakes? ...Uh-huh... You used Magic Truffles in some of the cakes? Okay, go restrain Ness. Don't hurt him too much, I don't want him to hate me!" yelled Porky. He tapped his foot, half in impatience, half in anxiety. Then, he heard screaming on the other end along with Ness' laughter. He awkwardly turned to everyone else. "Okay. He _miiiight_ have escaped."

"...Porky, if we didn't have the advantage, I would kill you right now." said Giygas. He closed his eyes and shifted his consiousness to his gaseous form. The clouds in the mouth area started to move as Giygas' booming voice filled the area. "Minions, head to the center of the dimension at full speed! If anyone gets in our way, whether hero or not, kill them on sight!" Pig Masks and Starmen scurried to start navigating the battleship while all the villains laughed evily, except for Roy and Jeff, who were still in pain, and Porky, who decided to slink away before anyone starts beating him up.

* * *

"I'm staying here." said Samus.

They were on Diamond Steppe Island, gathered around the spaceship the squirrels' gave them. While everyone else was ready to go, Samus decided to stay behind to command GAG.

"I can stay here and command GAG for you!" said Pit.

"Pit, that's a terrible idea. You know how unserious you are." said Pikachu.

"How so?"

Pikachu took out a copy of Kid Icarus: Uprising.

"...Oh right, good point."

"...Where did you get.. not important. Samus, why can't you leave Snake here? No offense to everyone else, but you're probably the most competent person here." said Meta Knight.

"I can't command an army Meta Knight. I prefer being out on the frontlines. Besides, would you trust a guy obessessed with cardboard boxes to command an army of monsters?" pointed out Snake.

"He also has a good point." agreed Fox.

"Look, can we all stop standing around and get going!" snapped Falco.

"Agreed. It's been an honor everyone. If you somehow fail, you'll still have GAG and me to fall back on." The space bounty hunter saluted, and everyone else reacted in kind. Samus retreated into the island while everyone else stowed away into the spaceship. The spaceship start to elevate and in a flash, it flew off into the atmosphere.

* * *

Giygas looked ahead to the future, smiling a grin that stretched over the entire makeshift battleship. Ness may have meddled in his affairs again, but he will win this time. Mewtwo rallied Pichu, Dr. Mario, and Roy, telling them to be on their best behavior and how not to fly into a psychopathic rage when they meet the Smashers. Porky, Ashley, and Lucas were trying to bond in an awkward attempt to become friends. King Boo called Vaati a girly girl and was currently screaming his head off, running from a tornado. And Ridley...

Where did Ridley go?

* * *

The former princess of the Mushroom Kingdom left her spaceship on auto-pilot and curled up to go to sleep. In her arms she held a doll, whcih was a Gyroid she fished out of a pond...

* * *

The Mario Brothers, the Ice Climbers, and that one guy were inside a bigger version of the Koopa Clown Car, which now featured an air dome for deep space travel. Mario and Ganondorf were acting like reasonable adults while Luigi was crying with Popo and Nana about encountering Giygas.

* * *

Ness was flying in a Pig Mask ship he managed to steal, whistling to himself. Yep, everything's going good. He gets to beat up Giygas again and he had cake. Pretty great day so far.

* * *

Kirby flew through space on the Warpstar, looking at stars and getting distracted by pretty lights, which was pretty much the same thing. Inside, the tiny man and his minions of plant beings bounced around as the Warp Star flew at high speeds. Olimar raised his fist in the air, cursing physics and the fact that physics exist in space.

* * *

The heroes, the GAG lieutenants, the former prisoners, and the formerly accused were aboard a ship that smelled of squirrels, flying toward the final battle.

Pikachu started to play Kid Icarus. "Two or three more chapters. Then it will be ove- _HEY! YOU KILLED ME_!"

Jigglypuff laughed, holding her own 3DS. "Nothing can beat the Beam Claws!"

"Can I play too?" asked Young Link.

"Stop acting like children! I'm pretty sure the chapter ending is supposed to be serious and dramatic!" said Meta Knight. To go along with this, he glared off into space, piloting the ship toward a speck of red very far off in the distance.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Where is Ridley? Fourth wall, cooperate! No, he's nowhere in the realms of the plot... Where could that guy possibly be?_

_So, Spring Break next week, and that's awesome! I got Kid Icarus: Uprising last week, and that's also awesome! And, if you can't tell, I've been watching Doctor Who lately. I've gotten through most of Season 3 so far, and the Weeping Angels are awesome as well! ...Anywho, I bet none of you expected that whole Porky/Ness friendship thing to go anywhere, huh? MWHAHAHAHA! Oh right, my usual nonsense questions. Where's Ridley? Are you disappointed that Samus won't be helping out? Will anything else from the 100 Themes spin-off pop up? Am I taking another brief hiatus to update it? Will we bump into the TARDIS the next time we fly through a plot hole? Should I stop asking questions? The answer to the last one is no. But maybe the rest can be answered in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	29. The Last Battle, Part One

_Whoo hoo Spring Break and stuff! Let's break down and dance and junk or whatever people do! Right, so, at the time of typing (this note at least; I always type the beginning Author's Note first), I'm stuck on a car with my friends heading to California. I'm going to see if I can complete this chapter during the duration of my stay there (three days). I have no reason to do that other than for the challenge._

_Without further ado..._

* * *

_Chapter 28: The Last Battle - Part One_

* * *

In the last chapter, Ness got free and contacted all the Smashers, sharing the secrets and telling them to help rise up against Giygas. As for Giygas and his cronies, they too are heading to the center of the dimension. Now, for stuff... to... happen...

Meta Knight piloted his ship of full of comrades, steering them past stars. While no star seemed different to each other, everyone inside the ship knew the identity of each star. And, while it didn't seem like they were going anywhere, they knew perfectly well they were going the right direction.

"Anyone have any idea what the center of the dimension looks like?" asked Snake.

"As far as we know, and we know a lot, the center of the dimension is simply a gateway to Subspace, and we have to utilize seven secret riddles to get in. Beyond that, we have no idea what to do." said Meta Knight.

"Maybe it'll be all... mystical and mysterious. And junk." said Fox.

"Maybe there'll be a space hydra there?" suggested Pit.

"Pit." said Falco. "There's no such thing as a space hydra."

"It's true! I totally fought one once!" Unfortunately, Pit was answered with eye-rolling.

"Do you think we can take on Giygas? I mean, he might totally destroy us." said Jigglypuff.

"Calm down Jiggles. If four brats can beat that guy, a bunch of us could defeat him easily." said Pikachu confidently.

"But that guy is tough! We set a bunch of Fighting Alloys on them that were set on Cruel Brawl and he slaughtered them all! In his wimp form!" yelled Jigglypuff. Everyone but Falco expressed shock; everyone had tried their hands at Cruel Brawl, and they knew how relentless the fighting alloys could be.

Young Link raised his hand. "Sorry, but what's a fighting alloy?"

"You know. Brawler privileges."

"We can totally beat him though. Right guys?" Fox asked the entire room. Everyone said 'yes' awkwardly, including Meta Knight, who was, deep down, starting to worry.

Despite this though, everyone believed that they would beat him, save their universes, yada yada, what else is new?

* * *

Pichu was watching the stars pass by the windows excitedly "Oh boy! This is going to be fun!"

"The taking over the Nintendo dimension part or the killing the Smashers part?" asked Ashley.

"Both!"

Mewtwo came into the room everyone was staying in. "We'll be reaching our goal soon. Two hours tops."

"This will be totally great! We can celebrate with a slumber party!" squeed Vaati. Upon seeing the looks everyone was giving him, he said, "...or... throw a feast? Yeah, that's what I totally mean."

"Uhuh. Sure." said King Boo skeptically.

"Why don't you go burn in hell already?"

"There's no hell in Nintendo games dummy. Nintendo's too immature to allow it." said Jeff. Unlike past incidents, Jeff did not get beat up for this, because they sort of agreed with him. In some places in the dimension however, people were shaking their fists in the air, cursing the day this Jeff kid was ever born.

"This whole 'taking over the dimension thing' is exciting, don't you agree?" asked Link.

"...Eh." said Lucas.

"Yeah!" said Dr. Mario.

"I hope it goes better than the last time Giygas took over Subspace." said Porky. He casually drank from a can of soda and looked up, realizing that everyone was giving him curious looks. He then realized what he had said: he had just let loose one of the biggest secrets in the story. Everyone crowded him, intending to press him for information.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Mewtwo.

"...Uh..."

"Are you saying that Giygas had something to do with the original Subspace Emissary invasion?" asked Lucas.

"...No..."

"You're lying kid. Tell me or I will rip your throat out with my bare hands!" yelled Link, grabbing Porky by the neck.

"A...a..ck... you're all willing to kill me just to find something out?" asked Porky.

"Yes." said everyone else, curiosity having gotten the best of them.

"Oka...y... let go of me and Ill tell you the stor...y..." said Porky. Link let go of him as everyone surrounded Porky, not letting him escape until he tells this interesting story. But unfortunately, we won't be learning about that quite yet. It would ruin the surprise. Let's save it for... near the conclusion. Yes, let's go with that.

* * *

_Soon... (because I don't want to waste a full chapter showing everyone's shenanigans)_

"Is... that it?" gasped Pikachu.

"Yes." answered Meta Knight, who was mesmerized by the sight like everyone else. "This is it. The center of the dimension."

A large, purple-ish star sat in the middle of space, surrounded by lights that resembled aora borealis. The star exerted streaks of energy, which revolved around the entire star. The star didn't unleash blistering heat, but rather, a nice warmth. Revolving around the sun was a ring of seven comets, all of whom different looking. One comet was made of crystal and had a giant footprint imprinted on it. The second one somehow had grass growing on it and it was dotted by statues that resembled gyroids. In fact, they could be gyroids. The third comet had a ring of stars going around it, with crystals implanted in it's ground. The fourth comet was yellow-ish and resembled a star. The fifth comet was oddly distorted and had onions growing on it. The sixth comet had a smiling face on it along with a giant slot machine crank on it's side. The last one had a watery surface, and may in fact be made of water. All of these comets represented the universes that held the dimension's secrets. Iwata would be so proud.

"...Wow. After all this time, we finally made it!" cheered Fox.

"How are we to enter Subspace though?" asked Snake.

"I think we have to enter those comets. It seems sort of obvious, don't you think?" pointed out Pit.

"Yeah! We should hurry becau...se... oh. _Oh crap._" said Pikachu. His eyes widened in fear as he pointed to everyone what he saw. A dark red miasma was looming in the distance, and under it was a massive shape. "We.. should hurry."

"A-Agreed." gulped Jigglypuff.

"This looks troubling." said Young Link, unbashed by Giygas' eventual appearance.

Snake observed the shape. "Hmm... by the looks of things, that thing would reach us in ten minutes. If it's armed, I'm not sure how long it'll take for us to be in it's range."

"_Don't worry. You are not alone._" said a voice in their heads.

They looked out the window on the other side and smiled in relief; the cavalry has arrived. A Pigmask ship flew right next to the spaceship Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu once bought from a store. The Koopa Klown Car was flying around the Warpstar with a waving Kirby on it. Sadly, their reinforcements only consisted of the people they met during their journey, but they thought it was enough. Soon, their ship was hit with several transmissions. Meta Knight hit a button and the faces of Ness, Peach, Mario, and Kirby (who seemed to be fiddling with a webcam on the front of the Warpstar) popped up on a screen.

"Hey Meta Knight! Can you see me!" yelled Kirby, who was waving onscreen.

"We can all see you perfectly fine Kirby." chuckled Meta Knight.

Meanwhile, Peach and Mario seemed to be looking at each other.

"Mario!" said Peach.

"Peach!" said Mario.

"Mario!"

"Pe-" Mario was pushed away by Ganondorf.

"Hate to break up this lovefest, but don't we have something to do!" yelled the large-nosed man. "My nose isn't large!" So you say.

"He's right. What do we do?" asked Ness. He looked off into the distance and started shuddering as he saw Giygas. "He'll get here any second."

Fox went in front of Meta Knight. "You see those awesome looking comets, right? Well, um, we think some of us should go there."

"Right. Most of you head to those comets and investigate. Ness, since you're the only one with experience of fighting Giygas, you'll be coming with us to confront him." said Meta Knight. Everyone behind him was silent. Fox looked at Meta Knight in disbelief. Pikachu grabbed Meta Knight and started to shake him.

_"Are you crazy? We're actually going to confront that guy_?" yelled Pikachu.

"We don't need to outright defeat him." interrupted Snake. "We could just buy the rest of us time."

"Yeah! And while we're at it, let's trash that jerk's giant weapon thing too!" said Falco confidently.

"Yes. We'll beat Giygas here and now." said Meta Knight.

"Yeah! He should pay for the trouble he caused!" said Peach.

"He is-a going down!" said Mario.

"We're not-a fighting him, right-a?" Luigi asked the Ice Climbers offscreen.

"No." They both answered.

"I forget why I'm even helping you guys." said Ganondorf, who really had no idea why he was helping.

"Yes! We'll beat Giygas and celebrate with an ice cream party! Hooray for ice cream!" cheered Kirby.

"Sorry Kirby." said Olimar's muffled voice. "But can you please tell me what's going on?"

"Oh, we're going to be hit by a laser." said Kirby. Unfortuntely, he was right; the assault had come. A laser flew by the Warpstar, missing it's occupants. However, Kirby started to panic. "G-Guys! Those lasers burn!"

"It didn't even touch you." said Young Link.

"It burns just to be ne- oh no! Flying away now! Whee!" Kirby steered the Warpstar toward the comets as a volley of lasers came flying at the Smashers. Luckily, none of them got hit, but, Kirby was right about it's effects. The Koopa Klown Car, which was clipped on it's side, had it's occupants jumping around as it was suddenly heated. The tempature in the other ships was also reported to have increased.

"Alright, move out! Don't get hit, and good luck!" said Meta Knight. He flew his ship through the blasts, careful not to get hit so it wouldn't be superheated like the Koopa Klown Kar was. Ness' ship flew close behind while the others started heading toward the purple sun.

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the observation deck, watching what was happening.

"Those fools." laughed Giygas. "None of them seem to be armed, and yet they want to go against us."

"Why!" yelled Roy. He squinted his eyes, glaring at the two ships that were advancing toward them. "_Why aren't my babies frying them to a crisp?_"

* * *

Ness was glad that he trained his PSI skills when he was in Onett. He thought learning PK Ice was a waste of time, but in this situation, it was dead useful. He snapped his fingers every now and then, casting PK Freeze on his ship and the other one, keeping them cool. As long as they didn't get hit head on by the lasers, they were fine.

"Keep doing that kid, we're almost there!" cheered Falco.

* * *

"Well, I did make a back-up weapon for this situation." Jeff took out a walkie-talkie. "Yes, unleash the ultimate weapon!"

* * *

"This is easier than I thought it would be." said Pikachu.

Then, irony decided to bite back as a cannon appeared on the hull. It began to charge up and then it fired, firing...

The Ultimate Chimera.

_They were using the goddamn Ultimate Chimera as a weapon._

"._..The fu-_" Ness was going to say something but was interrupted as the Ultimate Chimera flew at him, taking a bite out of a vital part of Ness' ship. The Ultimate Chimera flew off toward the purple sun, no doubt ready to screw things up for everyone else. Ness' ship meanwhile spiraled out of control, crashing... through one of the windows in the Smash Castle section of the battleship. Yeah, Ness is going to be fine. I'm not going to kill a child. Maybe.

"...Why would you want to kill a child?" asked Pikachu.

Don't knock it till you try it.

"...I'm sorry, but _what is wrong with you?_" asked Jigglypuff.

"We all wonder that Jiggles."

Why are we even talking about this?

"_You brought it u-_"

**SHING!**

"...That's not a good sound." gulped Pit.

"Hey, check that out." said Young Link. Everyone turned to see a red tentacle bursting through the ceiling; the red clouds that were hanging above the battleship had made it's move. They kept their distance from it, scared that it'll suddenly strike.

"...Alright." said Fox. "Maybe if we're quiet, it won't-"

**SWISH!**

The tentacle swiftly cut the ship in half, dividing everyone; Fox, Pikachu, Snake, and Falco on one side and Meta Knight, Pit, Jigglypuff, and Young Link on the other. For some reason, the engine decided to be a dick and stopped flying (maybe it's because the ship's cuit in half), and so, both halves of the ship fell in separate directions into New Pork City.

* * *

"Excellent. Nook, Porky, Pichu, go lead some soldiers to apprehend those Smashers. If they resist, kill them." said Giygas.

"_YES! I CAN FINALLY KILL PIKACHU!_ Come on guys! Let's go!" The small, very angry mouse ran toward a window and jumped through while everyone watched. Pichu realized what he had done halfway through the fall. "_WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS STOP ME!_"

"Because we're jerks!" Porky yelled outside the window.

"Also that was really dumb!" yelled Tom Nook. The two immediately ran off to gather some troops and to help Pichu, who had broken all of the bones in his body.

"What about the rest of us?" asked Jeff.

Giygas looked down upon the others. "You will head to those comets with the secrets and figure out a way to open that blasted sun."

King Boo scratched his head. "But... you have all the secrets, how will we..._ oh._" Giygas was smiling at them. Tentacles came out of Giygas and stretched out, attaching themselves to everyone's heads. They groaned in pain as Giygas fed them his knowledge. The only one who did not have a Giygas tentacle attached to his head was Mewtwo.

"Excuse me sir, but how come I'm not screaming in pain?" asked Mewtwo.

"I need you to lead the ship. I'm going to head into the fray myself." Giygas left his more terrifying form and shifted back into his Giegue form. "Just have the soldiers fire on the comets we're currently not on."

"Right. We'll see you when the gateway to Subspace opens." said Mewtwo. Giygas gave a respectful nod before jumping out of the same window Pichu jumped out of. Red clouds formed at his feet, allowing him to float away safely while Pichu yells at him, asking him to help him out.

* * *

Peach landed without a hitch on the Animal Crossing themed. She carried the Gyroid out with her and she was delighted to see other gyroids on the rock. She set Gyroid next to his bretheren and started to walk away.

"You stay here with your friends while I attend to business, alright?" said the princess. Gyroid only made a whirling noise in response. She assumed that meant yes.

* * *

The Koopa Klown Car landed on the Mario-themed comet, brutally battered. And by 'brutally battered', I mean, 'completely on fire'. Everyone poured out of the thing, screaming and trying to stop their clothes from catching on fire. Nana, after extinguishing her fire, turned her head and gasped.

"Mr. Mario?" she called out.

"Yeah, what is-a it?" answered the red plumber.

"We have company!" screamed the pink Ice Climber. Everyone saw what she was looking at and started screaming too; the Ultimate Chimera landed on their comet and it looked hungry. The little bird on top of his head jumped up and down. Since the Ultimate Chimera lunged at them immediately after this, they assumed that was some sort of battle cry.

* * *

Kirby, Olimar, and his Pikmin were looking around the Kirby-themed comet, occasionally glancing at Giygas' large battleship, hoping to god that they don't fire on them. But hope isn't enough. No, _you have to dream_. And since they didn't dream, the cannons pointed at their comet and opened fire, bombarding the other side of the comet with lasers, frying up the entire comet in the process.

"Quick! Get on me!" said the puffball, puffing out his cheeks to begin floating. The Pikmin ran to Kirby, hoisting themselves onto Kirby's back and away from the rapidly heating rock. Unfortunately, Olimar was not fast enough to jump on with the others. He closed his eyes, expecting to melt into goo...

"Huh?" The small captain noticed that he was being hoisted up; his red Pikmin, who were unaffected by the heat, was hoisting him up and carrying him. "Ash! Volcano! Magma! Moltres! Chimchar! You guys are the best!"

* * *

Jeff flew onto the Earthbound themed planet with his jetpack. He squeed like a little girl upon seeing the giant footprint in the comet.

"This is a copy of that giant footprint Ness was talking about! Must.. investigate..._ the cause!"_ And so Jeff started to take pictures of the scene, writing notes, and in general not doing anything to help his side. And yet he wonders why people beat him up.

* * *

Vaati was on the Animal Crossing planet, grinning. Due to the presence of air, his wind powers could work. He was prepared to rip the first person he saw to shreds with wind when he saw... her.

The girl was the epitome of beauty and elegance, which is both things Vaati liked. Her pink dress wavered in the breeze and her hair...

He took out a notepad. He_ MUST_ ask her how she does her hair. Fighting can wait later. Wait, why fight at all? It would totally ruin her looks. He must not ruin her radiance. Even he could respect that.

"Excuse me." said Vaati. Peach turned around and shrieked. "Oh, sorry to scare you, but I was wonderi-"

He recieved a golf club in the face for his troubles.

* * *

Dr. Mario examined the Mario-themed planet with amusement. Mario, Luigi, and the Ice Climbers were distracting the Ultimate Chimera with fireballs and ice cubes while Ganondorf tried to sneak in from behind, hoping to deactivate the thing. Clearly, they had too much on their plate.

"Well, time to make things worse!" said Dr. Mario cheerfully, heading toward them to do so.

* * *

No one wanted to go the star-shaped comet because having your feet melted off was a big no-no.

* * *

Lucas walked on the odd-landscape of the Star Fox comet, smiling to himself. It was quiet here. He liked being quiet. He only liked talking to Ashley. He knew Ashley understood him. He wished someone was here though. Someone he can brutally and slowly murder for laughs. Ashley taught him that killing was fun. He liked killing. He liked Ashley. He would kill an entire world if it pleased her.

Lucas twitched his eye. "My internal monologues are getting weird... that does sound nice though..."

* * *

Ashley looked around the even more bizarre landscape of the WarioWare comet. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be looking for, but she assumed it would be the same deal as the Dimensional Secrets. She looked at the other comets. She absent-mindedly wondered if Lucas would be okay.

"He better not get hurt. Only I'm allowed to hurt a hair on his adorable little head." Ashley said to herself, stomping off in a random direction.

* * *

Link saw some miniature islands embedded on the planet's watery-surface and decided to play around with them. A small break wouldn't hurt.

"Die GAG! You die with your stupid island!" laughed Link, stomping on the pretend model of Diamond Steppe Island. He glanced over at the model of the Mother and Child Islands. "What's that Great Fairy? You won't fix my arm? _Well you can die too!_" He kicked over the island, laughing like a little child. Meanwhile, a certain fiary trapped in a bottle was yelling at him, calling him out on his insanity and other things he couldn't really care less about.

* * *

Meta Knight crawled out of the wreckage, looking around to see that they had crash landed on the roof of Smash Castle. His mind briefly turned to the good old days. Then he remembered that now's not the time for nostalgia. He called out to the others. "Everyone okay?"

"I'm good." said Young Link, who had a bunch of scrap metal in his stomach and was bleeding a lot.

"You most definitely are not!" said Pit, pulling out an emergency fairy in a bottle to help cure his wounds.

"I'm fine." said Jigglypuff, who really was fine.

"Okay, so... what now?" Meta Knight asked the others.

"_I know what you could do._" Ness' voice was speaking to them again. "_I just discovered the plans for the battleship._"

"Where did you find it?" asked Jigglypuff.

_"It was laid out on a table, labeled 'do not take'."_

"Ain't that typical?" asked Pit.

"_Yep. So, according to this, they connected the New Pork City gas main to a line leading throughout the entire ship. It provides some energy to the weapons and it's powering the jets as well."_

"So... if we can find the gas main, we blow the entire thing up?" asked Young Link.

_"Precisely! Or whatever Jeff says! Whatever! Point is, we need to infiltrate New Pork and look for the gas main and... hold on a sec. I can hear this scuttling. Like... a giant spider."_

"Wait, Ness! Don't follow it! It's Porky!" yelled Meta Knight. But unfortunately, Ness was no longer talking to them, so they assumed the worse. "...Right, let's get out of here. They've gotten Ness, so it's only a matter of time till they get us."

"...Um..." said Jigglypuff, who was pointing upwards. They glanced up and was horrified to see the red darkness descending upon them. They drew their weapons (or fists in Jigglypuff's case), prepared for a fight.

* * *

"You heard Ness! Let's get going!" announced Fox. He, Pikachu, Falco, and Snake had luckily landed in New Pork City, so they can already start looking.

"Hey, who made you leader? Just because Meta Knight's gone doesn't mean you're the leader." said Pikachu.

"Then who's going to be the leader?"

"I am!"

"I think I'm more suited for the leadership position." said Snake.

"Just yesterday you said you weren't cut out for leadership!" yelled Falco.

"Leading an army, yes. However, I can lead a squad perfectly fine." defended Snake.

"Bull! I say that I should be the leader, because I'm clearly the only one who's not an idiot!"

"Follow me! I can hear some yelling over here!" said Tom Nook's voice somewhere out in the city. Pikachu slapped Falco in the face.

"Nice job 'leader'. Let's get out of here!" yelled Pikachu.

* * *

Giygas was too pre-occupied with the sight to do any fighting at the moment. He glared at the purple sun. Soon... soon he'll re-enter Subspace... He neglected to tell his minions sans Porky about his first attempt to take over the Nintendo dimension. Of course, he wasn't... himself back then.

But now, he will succeed where he failed.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_Where are you Ridley! I'm calling you out! Where is that guy? How hard is it to find a giant purple dragon thing! Urgh, I seriously should check what species Ridley is. Hmm? Oh, the chapter ended already. Right, so, Giygas attempted to take over the Nintendo dimension in the past. When did he possibly do that? Oh, we'll see._

_So, at the time of writing this second author's note, it's been... three days! When I wasn't partying it up at Disneyland or the beach, I was trying to type this thing up. I hope it wasn't too rushed. or too serious, because I feel as if this chapter is too serious. Whatever._

_There will be three more chapters after this. I plan on making Chapter 29 a long chapter, with Chapter 30 to be regular-lengthed. Unless I plan on splitting up Chapter 29, Chapter 31 will definitely be the ending, so look forward to that._

_So, where is Ridley? Have you seen him? When was Giygas' first attempt? What are these riddles Crazy Hand was going on about? Are you enjoying this story? Find out in the next chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	30. The Last Battle, Part Two

_Real author's notes: HOLY CRAP LOOK AT HOW LONG THIS CHAPTER IS. X FRIGGING WORDS! Personal record for me! Anyway, some revelation going on near the end of the chapter. It might surprise people, it might make people think I'm pulling it out of nowhere. I just hope that you people keep enjoying my story!_

* * *

_This message was pre-recorded on 4/?/2012, 6:30 AM._

_Right, so anyway, I just finished up this chapter. However, due to something called 'the man', I have to go to school. Ugh. So dumb. Anyway, I dcided to pre-record these author notes. I told my dad to watch out for a purple dragon, but he sort of raised his eyesbrows at me. WHATEVER. So, where we last left off, all of the past Smashers have joined up with Fox, Pikachu, and Meta Knight as they head to the center of the dimension, which is a giant sun ringed with seven comets._

_Unfortunately, Giygas and his cronies show up around the same time and start firing evil heat lasers at them, which is sure to screw everything up. Ness apparently gets captured (again); Fox, Pikachu, Meta Knight, Snake, Pit, Jigglypuff, Falco, and Young Link end up on Giygas' battleship and plan on sabotaging it; Jeff is too pre-occupied to do anything useful; Vaati said hello to Peach's sweet golf club; Mario, Luigi, Ganondorf and the Ice Climbers are fighting (or in this case running) from the Ultimate Chimera while Dr. Mario plans to make things worse; Kirby, Olimar, and his Pikmin are on the receiving end of the burning lasers; Ashley, Lucas, and Link reach their comets with no problem; and Giygas reflects on his past failures, which apparently includes a first Subspace Emissary invasion. Wow, that took up, like, two or three minutes and... I know dad, I'm going to school! Well, see you guys when I get back. Make sure Fox doesn't screw up reality and make everyone win, because that would make things too easy and Gary Stu-ish. Bye!_

_END RECORDING_

_The one place Hyper doesn't look in, his closet, opens up revealing Ridley. He managed not to have been sucked into the tasteless void that is the story by staying in the same vicinity of the computer; it apparently only sucks things through when they stick around for too long when they're too far away._

_"Time to get started! ...What did Giygas ask me to do again..." said Ridley. He looked over at the computer. "Oh, the chapter is starting! I have to hurry!_

* * *

_Chapter 29: The Last Battle, Part Two_

* * *

Fox, Pikachu, Falco, and Snake ran down a back-alley, running away from a horde of New Pork City citizens, Pig Masks, and Starmen. They managed to lose them at first... but they immediately ran into another horde of people. Whatever shall they do? Then, Pikachu got a sweet idea.

"Don't fire on us! We're cosplayers!" said Pikachu. The crowd was silent at first...

"You're no cosplayers!" Suddenly, the man who owned the car rental place in Fourside popped up. "You're those jerk heroes who stole my car!"

"CORRECT. WE WON'T BE FOOLED BY THAT RUSE AGAIN." said a Starman who was stationed in Fourside that faithful day. "GET THEM! STAND DOWN OR BE EXTERMINATED!"

"Okay we'll give u- SMOKE GRENADE!" shouted Snake as he tossed a smoke grenade in the crowd, covering them in mist and making them confused as hell. They turned around, prepared to run in another direction, when they unfortunately ran into the group who had just been chasing them before.

"It looks like... we're trapped." said Fox.

"Nice observation Fox." said Pikachu.

"Wait. I have an idea." said Snake.

"What is it?" asked Falco.

"It's crazy, but in this world, _crazy is the norm_." said Snake. He pulled out his rocket laucnher and pointed it at the floor. Pikachu and Falco looked at him like he was a clown. And by that, I mean they looked at him weirdly.

"Are you saying we're doing a group suicide?" said Pikachu in utter horror.

"No... I think he's going to try rocket jumping us into the air! Like, whoosh and stuff!" said the not reality grounded Fox.

"Precisely." confirmed the mercenery.

"...The. Hell." said Falco, beginning an angry rant no one gives a shit about. "You know, I'm starting to wish I stayed blind. In fact, if I was blind, I wouldn't have to come with you guys and deal with idiotic ideas like thi-"

**BOOM!**

The alleyway was flushed with light and the enemies on both sides were blown backward, heavily injured. As for the heroes, Snake's crazy idea actually worked; they were really flying through the air. They guided themselves toward the highest, safest rooftop, which was too high for anyone to come after them and too low for the goddamn sky to attack them.

"You were saying?" asked Snake.

"Shut up." replied Falco.

"We actually did it! Hi-five guys!" said Fox. He offered his hands up for Falco and Snake to clap against. He crouched down to give Pikachu a hi-five... but realized that Pikachu wasn't on the rooftop with them. "...Pikachu?" He peered down and saw that Pikachu was actually intercepted in the air before he could join the rest of them; Pichu had tackled Pikachu onto the ground, having seemingly came out of nowhere. Let's assume that Pichu was using his Pikachu-hunting-tracking skills to find him and go with that. The horde around the two yellow rats inched toward them to offer Pichu help, but he shooed them away.

"No! His ass is mine!" growled Pichu.

Pikachu was disturbed. "You have no idea how wrong that soun-" Pichu responded by slamming his head into the concrete. Fox could only watch as one of his best bros suffered down below. He could have shot at them, but at this point, he accepted the fact that his laser gun was a lousy piece of crap. Falco's gun is probably crappy too.

"No it isn't!" defended Falco. "And hold on, I thought you weren't here?"

(recording continues) And Snake's weapons are too out of range to hit Pichu. He really should start carrying actual guns.

"The 'kind' censors at Nintendo wouldn't have it." muttered Snake.

"What are you guys talking about!" yelled Pichu. He turned toward his minions. "And what are you guys waiting for? Go get them!"

"You can't get us up here!" laughed Fox.

"...Actually, this building has a staircase..." said Falco, pointing out the top of the staircase.

"You guys get out of here!" yelled Pikachu. He struggles a bit and then managed to kick Pichu into a wall. "I'll catch up soon!" They nodded and they started jumping across some rooftops, evading the enemies who followed them up there. They tried to chase after... but their jumping skills was terrible and they ended up falling off the building. Ha ha, comedic sociopathy, you card.

* * *

Meta Knight and Pit flew through the air, Jigglypuff and Young Link hanging on for dear life as Starmen chased from below on the section connecting Smash Castle and New Pork City, shooting up into the sky. They dodged as a scalding laser flew past them. Deciding that being burnt would be a very bad idea, they land onto the ground, near the city's entrance, which for some reason wasn't guarded.

"We need to hurry up." said Young Link, looking behind them to see that the Starmen was gaining on them.

"Right, now where to go?" asked Meta Knight.

"Uh... what's going on over there?" pointed out Jigglypuff; she was looking at a long line of enemies in front of the movie theater.

"...Do you think they're watching the Hunger Games?" asked Pit.

"I doubt it. Let's see what's going on in there." said Meta Knight.

* * *

"What shampoo do you use?" asked Vaati.

**THWACK!**

Vaati went flying backwards while Peach fixed up her frying pan, which already had multiple Vaati shaped dents. "Will you stop following me? It's creepy and weird. Oh yeah, and you're a villain."

"I just want some beauty tips!" pleaded the fabulous wind mage. He ran up to her again, but recieved another smack in the face. Peach started to run, hoping to lose him. But suddenly, she heard a voice speaking into her head, seemingly radiating from a spot on the comet.

_In the Animal Crossing unvierse, this will take time to mull,_  
_the answer to this riddle is a space seagull._

Peach looked briefly confused. But suddenly, from the knowledge she got, the answer came spilling out of her mouth. "Gulliver."

* * *

The Animal Crossing universe comet briefly glowed, and then, it shot a beam up light into the purple sun. The surface of the sun started to ripple a little, the beam actually having an effect on it. Giygas broke out of his brooding session and looked at the sun. "So that's what those comets do again..."

* * *

"Oh wow! Thanks a lot! That's one less comet to activate I guess!" said Vaati. Peach scowled. His approval filled her with shame. She responded by clubbing him several yards away with a golf club, hoping he lands in something like a lava pit even those don't exist on the comet. Instead, he landed somewhere much worse.

Vaati landed in a ring of Gyroids, with Fox/Peach's Gyroid looking at him. Peach scratched her head and looked off in another direction. "Weren't you guys over there earlier?"

Vaati was very uncomfortable with his situation. "Hey, will you little things help me u-" He was silenced when the lead Gyroid punched in the stomach. "Ow! Wow, your fists hit harder than I tho- ouch!" He got punched again by another Gyroid. And this was followed by a punch by another Gyroid. Then another. Very soon, all of the Gyroids were attacking Vaati, flailing their tiny fists. And the sad part is, they were winning. "Oh god! The tiny flailing fists! They hurt! Help me!"

Peach decided to walk away and pretend this never happened.

* * *

"Science, science, I'm doing this in the name of scienc-" Jeff sang to himself.

"Hey Jeff!" greeted King Boo, flying in.

Jeff stopped analyzing pieces of rock to look up at the ghost. "Hey. Why are you here?"

"You know... you're one of the few people who don't make fun of or hate me." said King Boo. Jeff nodded, as they were pretty much in the same boat. "Weren't we supposed to be doing... something?"

The boy paused. "You know, I actually forgot what I was doing."

* * *

Porky had Ness handcuffed and was smiling triumphantly as he pushed him along.

"See Ness? We're totally winning this thing! Why don't you join us and be friends with me again?" said Porky.

"Get bent." responded Ness.

"Please?"

"...How desperate are you?"

"..." Porky started crying, which was something he wouldn't do in front of most people. "Ness, my only friends is Giygas, who's amount of care depends on what day it is, Ashley, who's stab happy and batshit insane, and maybe Lucas, and I'm pretty sure he wants to slit my throat! I knew that I was an asshole, and I probably still will be, but can we be friends... a...gain..." While he was ranting on his poor choice of friends, Ness melted his handcuffs and was somewhere else. In retrospect, he should have brought guards. "Son of a bitch."

* * *

"Excuse me, but what movie is showing here?" Young Link casually tapped a Pigmask on a shoulder and asked him this question.

"We're not seeing a movie. We're using the secret sewer entrance in the movie theater so we could guard the gas lines and stuff." said the Pigmask. He noticed the entourage behind Young Link. "Wait a minute, you're-"

"Jigglypuff... Jigg-ly-puff..." sang Jigglypuff to the entire crowd. In just ten seconds of singing, all of the enemies were asleep, along with Pit, whom Meta Knight immediately slapped awake.

"Wh-What did you do that for?" asked Pit groggily.

"Pit, we musn't waste time. We must be alert and vigilant." said Meta Knight, looking up at the red clouds looming over everyone, reminding him of the threat Giygas poses to the entire dimension.

* * *

"Hey look-a! I'm-a delicious!" said Luigi. The Ultimate Chimera growled and made a lunge for the green plumber, but is stopped when Popo jumped on his back, hitting the button, turning the Ultimate Chimera into a deactivated mess of whatever it is. To prevent it from awakening again, Ganondorf picked up its tiny bird and punted it far, far away.

"Yes! Good-a work team!" said Mario.

"Yeah! Way to show him!" cheered Nana.

"_You guys didn't even help!_" yelled Ganondorf.

"At least it's gone." said Popo.

"Not for long though!" said a voice. Dr. Mario jumped in on the scene, standing over the deactivated Ultimate Chimera. Both of the Marios stared at each other, engaging in a staring contest of epic proportions. Everyone except Mario and Luigi was confused by the situation.

"Wait, I thought the Dr. Mario shtick was just Mario wearing a doctor's coat." said Ganondorf.

"There was this-a cloning incident between the first and-a second tourney." answered Luigi vaguely.

"What happened?" asked Nana.

"Everyone agreed never to-a talk about it again-a."

"...We meet again." said Mario after the very dramatic silence.

"...Indeed. ...Oh look, my finger is pressing this button!" Dr. Mario pressed the button on the Ultimate Chiemra and to everyone's horror, it's eyes came back to life. Dr. Mario got onto the thing's back, wielding hacksaws and knives and other stuff hospital patients wouldn't enjoy. They started to run as Dr. Mario directed the Ultimate Chimera to charge them. "Run! Run for your sad pathetic lives!"

* * *

Pikachu and Pichu was engaged in hand-to-hand combat, seeing as normal electrical attacks wouldn't have much effect on each other. Despite the fact that Pikachu could hit harder, Pichu was more faster than his evolution and had better reflexes, able to counter most of Pikachu's attacks. However, despite this, Pikachu still proved himself to be superior, hitting Pichu square in the chest with a skull bash, sending him through a brick wall.

"You got served. Come and face me again when you're older." mocked Pikachu. He started to walk away, looking totally badass when his badass image was totally ruined when Pichu got back up and tackled Pikachu to the ground. Suddenly, the bigger rat started to feel his energy drain away as Pichu's weight on him increased. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sucking up all your energy. I may be small and weak, but I've been learning skills, ever since the day I vowed to get revenge on you!" laughed Pichu.

"._..Revenge on what?_"

"Taking. My. PLACE."

The big rat gave him a bewildered look. _"I was in the Smash Bros tournament before you, you stupid twerp!"_

"You won't be anymore though." giggled Pichu. "I... will gather as much energy as I can... _so I can strike you with the biggest thunderbolt I can make!_"

Pikachu remembered something. "Hold on, you'll take a lot of damage doing that. You're seriously not insane enough to do that are-"

"_YES! I AM WILLING TO DIE, AS LONG AS I TAKE YOU DOWN WITH ME! WE WILL BE FRIED TO A GLORIOUS CRISP, AND EVERYONE WILL KNOW THAT** I. AM. MUCH. BETTER. THAN. YOOOOU!**_" yelled Pichu, electricity crackling in his cheek area while he glows blue, preparing to unleash a strong thunderbolt. Pikachu, although horrified, rolled his eyes.

"Why is everyone in Hyper's stories crazy as hell?" he asked himself. He realized that that would be terrible last words and decided to take action. Pichu's hold on him was strong, but he had to wait for just the right moment...

"_YOU DIE TODAY! **PICHUUUU!**_" shouted Pichu. He shot up all of his energy into the air, into the only available clouds: the clouds that made up Giygas. For a second, he noticed that the horrible faces in the body contorted in pain; he took note of this for later. As the bolt formed up in the clouds, Pikachu took advantage of Pichu's rapidly weakening state and pushed him away with his legs. He only managed to run a short distance away before the thunder bolt came down.

**CRACK-OOM!**

The street was covered in dazzling blue and yellow lights. Thankfully, it wasn't bad enough to give Japanese children everywhere seizures. Pikachu felt parts of his fur get burnt a little as he heard Pichu's screams. He opened his eyes. Everything in the area of the attack was burnt or currently on fire. In the center of it was Pichu. Luckily for him, Pichu's attack didn't do too much damage to himself, but he was now unconscious, blackened to a delicious Pichu crisp.

"...Guess I win. Whoop-de-damn doo, what next?" Pikachu quickly reasserts his cool jerk persona and walked off, giving Pichu a kick in the stomach on the way.

* * *

_This is an area that's beyond comprehension,_  
_although it's justified because it's Out of This Dimension._

Lucas rose his eyebrows, slightly perplexed by the riddle that came into his head. It wasn't that he didn't know the answer, but he was confused because the idiot who designed this (Crazy Hand probably) put the answer in the riddle.

"...Out of This Dimension?" said Lucas. The StarFox comet started to glow before shooting another beam to accompany the beam from the Animal Crossing comet. He then celebrated with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. That is to say, none. "Yay I did it..."

* * *

Fox looked at the purple sun and the two beams shooting into it. "I think they're having a rave party over there."

"As sweet as that would be, that's probably not a rave party. In fact, that's probably bad." said Falco.

"Hold on, there's something going on down there." said Snake. He pointed at a street below, where a bunch of Pigmasks were sleeping in front of a movie theater. Clearly, either the movie that was being shown there was sleep-inducingly bad or there was something going on over there. Following the logic of this story, they decided it was probably the latter. Unfortunately, by the time they got down and were walking toward the entrance, they started to wake up.

"Yawn... I dreamed that I was being eaten by a gingerbread man." said a random Pigmask.

"I was dreaming that some intruders tried to get in while we were sleeping." said another one.

"Hold on!" yelled a competent Pigmask. "Thsoe are intruders! Get them!" Both sides pulled out their weapons, but the good side was faster. Snake blew some away with a rocket while Fox and Falco shot at them with them with their guns, which was more effective with two guns being shot. All of the Pig Masks were easily taken down... but suddenly, the crowds of people that were chasing them earlier arrived.

"THERE THEY ARE! EXTERMINATE!" yelled a Starman. They got back to fighting, but this time, it was much, much harder. They easily crowded the heroes, forcing them to resort to hand-to-hand combat, but that wasn't enough. Suddenly, an angel came out of the blue. And by angel, I mean horrible bolt of thunder. The electricity circulated through the crowds, dropping them to the ground like flies. Pikachu casually stolled in, acting as if he didn't electrocute around a hundred people.

"Sup." said Pikachu. Fox squeed and tackle hugged him. As much as Pikachu liked the sentiment, Fox was crushing his body, so he gave him a good shock. "Nice to see you too Fox."

"Yeah. Me too." said a slightly dazed and toasty Fox.

"_Captain Ramirez, are you still there?_" Mewtwo's voice came out of a walkie-talkie near a caped-Pig Mask. Everyone looked at each other, waiting for someone to go pick it up. Eventually, Fox was the one who answered it.

Fox answered Mewtwo in a terrible Spanish accent with a fluctuating volume. "Hello! Yo es Captain Ramirez! What's up, everything is bueno!"

"_...I thought you had a British accent..._"

"I HAVE A COUGH. Anyway, while you're at it, can you give a status report on... the other Smashers? That would be awesome and zanahorias!" said Fox. Everyone else facepalmed, expecting this to end in failure. In a hilarious twist of events, Mewtwo actually bought all this.

"_Ness stole another Pig Mask ship and is heading to one of the comets, Master Giygas is stalking after Peach, the Ultimate Chimera bit Banondorf and he is bleeding out while Dr. Mario is cutting up the others, Kirby and Captain Olimar are being shot at and I expect that they'll be melted soon, and Meta Knight, Pikachu, and Fox has been reported to be on this ship with some other Smashers. Speaking of which have you seen them?_" Everyone paused. By the sound of this, things were going bad for everyone else. However, there may still be hope if they manage to shut down the ship...

"No Smashers here, de nada. By the way, what's going on with the sun? Tu es sacapuntas." said Fox.

_"...Did you just call me a pencil sharpener?_" asked Mewtwo.

"JUST ANSWER HIM!" yelled a frustrated Falco. Luckily, Mewtwo did not recognize his voice and assumed it was an angry soldier.

"_From what I can tell, answering one of the seven riddles activates a light beam that'll shoot into the sun, opening up the gateway to Subspace. We must enter first. If the Smashers get in first, they could close the gateway and use the powers within to... well, screw us all over. Captain, keep on guard, and if you see the Smashers, capture or kill them."_

"Yes sir, la senora!" said Fox. He turned off the walkie-talkie and tried to look enthusiastic to raise morale. "Well, let's get back to shutting down this thing!"

* * *

Peach had collected her Gyroid and was now back on her ship, flying around, trying to decide which comet to tackle next. What she didn't know was that Giygas was following closely behind... which was weird, because I'm pretty sure people would notice a giant red cloud following after them, but the point is, she's screwed...

* * *

Ganondorf was nearly dead, his only movements being the occasional twitch. Popo and Nana were also on the ground bleeding, having had surgical knives thrown into them. Luigi fainted from shock, but nevertheless, he was out of commision. Only Mario was left, and Dr. Mario was approaching him on the Ultimate Chimera.

"Come on hero! Try and fight me!" laughed Dr. Mario.

* * *

Kirby, Olimar and his Pikmin were now on the Warpstar, hiding on the other side of the comet, using it as cover from the lasers. If they so as much move away from it, thhe'll be open to fire, literally. However, the air around the Warpstar was quickly heating up.

Kirby whimpered, looking at a burn on his body. "Olimar, I'm scared."

The small captain looked at his Pikmin, hoping that the non-reds don't burn up. "I am too."

* * *

Meta Knight, Pit, Young Link, and Jigglypuff marched through the New Pork City sewers, following the oil pipeline, cutting down and singing to everyone in their way. They entered a room with a red glow, radiating from a giant piece of pipe that read, "_Gas Main - destroy this and we're all fucked._" They assumed that this was probably the gas main.

"So, what now?" asked Pit.

"I could put a bomb under it. Of course, we have to get off the ship in like, a minute or we'll blow up with it." suggested Young Link.

"Yeah, how about something where we don't blow up."

"Or you guys could surrender right now." said a voice. Tom Nook came into the room as a bunch of enemies stepped out of the shadows, revealing that they were surrounded the moment they stepped inside the room.

"...How did we not notice them at all?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Makes just as much sense as everything else in this story. Oh, this makes me so excited!" squeed the raccoon. Or tanooki. I forget.

"Why are you excited? Are you going to kill us like the rest of your allies?" asked the knight.

"What? Oh no, I'm not crazy. I'm just going to use you guys as free labor for my stores." said Nook.

"That's debatably worse." said the Link look-alike.

"Quiet you."

"Wait a minute, you're just a raccoon. Or a tanooki, whatever. We could totally take you!" said Jigglypuff confidently. Meta Knight nodded and made a dash at Tom Nook with his sword... and he gets hit by his death broom, sending the tiny swordsman sprawling back pathetically. "...Never mind."

"Hello, is Meta Knight in here?" called out Fox, his head suddenly popping into the doorway. He grinned upon seeing Meta Knight. "There you guys are!" Then he frowned when he noticed that the room was full of enemies. "Oh."

"...We're just going to leave now." said Falco. He turned back into the sewer... and saw that it was now blocked by another squadron of enemies, this time being lead by Porky.

"Get into the room losers!" barked Porky, prodding them in the back with his spider appendages. Since there wasn't really any way out, they obeyed and joined the rest of the Smashers in the room.

"Looks like we lost." muttered Pikachu.

"Only two things could save us now: a deux ex machina or something from the 100 themes spin-off." said Meta Knight.

"That's dumb! Besides, how would you know?" said Porky.

"Because the knowledge in my head told me." Suddenly the lights went out in the room. The ship then lurched around, shaking everyone on it around. Then the lights came on, revealing that Meta Knight's taken off his mask, letting his smirk be visible for all to see. "Looks like we have another ally in this game."

* * *

A shining chariot traveled through space, carrying the heroes' last and most unexpected ally: Mr. Game and Watch. He apparently ended up in the Kid Icarus universe in the spin-off and became best bros with Palutena. In the last few weeks, Palutena gave him a mission: head to the center of the dimension and assist the Smashers. Of course, unlike everyone else, Mr. Game and Watch did not know the secrets, and Palutena, being a troll as usual, refused to tell him what to do. So he's mostly been traveling in a straight path through space, reading 'How to Be a Deux ex Machina', a printed copy of most of the 'Attack of Giygas' chapters (if Palutena could access blogs, why not?), and various books on well known trolls like Palutena, Andrew Hussie, and of course, me, the author.

He also had an army of centurions with him, so that solved the loneliness problem.

"CENTURIONS! FLY AT THAT GIANT RED THING AND..." Mr. Game and Watch looked at his copy of this story. "...USE YOUR HEAVENLY POWER TO PURIFY THE DARK CLOUDS AROUND IT! DO NOT QUESTION IT! SCREW SCIENCE, JUST GO!"

Giygas, who was too preoccupied following Peach, had just noticed the Centurions flying at him. "...What the..." The centurions flew into his clouds and exploded in light, dispersing the clouds and basking everything in a three mile radius with light generated by the destruction of the clouds. Meanwhile, the centurions that didn't sacrifice themselves were flying toward the battleship, opening fire with arrows, which is surprisingly more effective than you would think. The heat lasers took their aim away from the Kirby universe comet and started to fire on the centurions instead. Giygas stared blankly at what's going on, regenerating his death clouds, not noticing that Mr. Game and Watch just told Peach that Giygas was stalking her for the last five minutes and leads her away to someplace much less terrifying. "What was that light all about?"

* * *

"What just happened?" asked King Boo, looking around.

"I'm not sure. But somehow I feel... empowered." said Jeff.

* * *

"That light was weird. Whatever. Any last words other me?" said Dr. Mario as the Ultimate Chimera unhinged it's jaw...

"It's-a Luigi time!" yelled Luigi, he jumped into the scene and kicked Dr. Mario off of the Ultimate Chimera's back, simultaneously hitting the button. Mario stood up and gasped. Not only was Luigi better, but so was the Ice Climbers and Ganondorf, who was practically dead just before. It was as if the light gave them a second wind...

"Yeah! We're alive!" cheered Nana.

"I could just run around! In fact, I think I will! Whee!" shouted Popo with glee. He then ran into a certain spot...

_Up above a land full of flowers,_  
_you should fear a cloud with great powers._

Popo stopped running to think. "Um... Huff N' Puff?"

"The Huff and the who now?" asked Ganondorf, clearly confused since he didn't hear the message. Then, this comet glowed as well and shot another beam into the sun. They silently wondered whether this was a good thing or a bad thing until Mario got his ear cut with a thrown knife.

"Hey! Don't you dare ignore me! I'm trying to kill you all!" yelled Dr. Mario in furious rage.

* * *

Vaati was healed as well... and quickly re-gained his bruises from the flailing fists. Poor guy.

* * *

With the lasers gone, the air around the Kirby universe comet cooled down and the light had healed Kirby and Olimar's burns. Now that it was safe, they landed back on the comet and began their search for who knows what.

* * *

"...Light?" said a very confused Ashley.

"Yeah! My PP is completely restored!" cheered Ness. Ashley turned and saw him hiding behind a rock. "...Um... ignore me."

"My PP's restored too." said Lucas, coming in on the scene.

"Lucas! Glad to see you buddy! Can you help me fight this girl? Her glare sort of scares me." asked Ness. Ashley giggled at this.

Lucas smiled. Then he lit a fire on his fingertips with a snap. "I'm sorry Ness. But I can't fight her. She's my mistress, you're my enemy, and I'm going to kill you."

Ness' smile turned to a look of horror as he ducked out of a way of a fireball and a thrown knife.

* * *

"Oh great! It's that stupid light bullshit again!" said Link, remembering how purifiyng Giygas gas somehow made something that healed and revived people. He shrugged and continued to be the godzilla to the small scale model of the Great Sea. He honestly forgotten why he came there in the first place.

* * *

Everyone in the sewer jumped upon hearing Tom Nook's walkie-talkie come alive. No, it did not come to life, this isn't Banjo Kazooie. He answered it. "_Nook, we're surrounded by these angel things - Mr. Game and Watch just came out of nowhere and... look, for now, I want you to ignore what's going on and focus on the Smashers inside this thing._" Mewtwo cut off the line. He looked back at everyone and noticed that everyone looked scared. Except for the Smashers.

"Um, what happened while I was on this thing?" asked Tom Nook.

"Well... they sort of put C4 around the place and they might blow all of us to hell." gulped Porky. To support this, Snake held up a package of C4 and pointed at the gas main, which had one stuck onto it. Pikachu was holding the trigger, looking very eager to press the button.

"Right, you idiots listen up. You let us out of here and we'll give you five minutes to escape before we blow everything up." threatened Pikachu, holding up the trigger for everyone to see, reminding everyone that it's in the hands of a very angry mouse.

"Deal." said a terrifed Tom Nook.

"You don't know how these negotiations work, do you?" grumbled Porky. "Make it ten."

"Seven or I'll press it." said Pikachu.

"...Deal." said Porky, pretending not to be terrified. All of the soldiers cheered that they get time to escape, while the others were grumbling that the Smashers were getting away. The Smashers strolled out, full of confidence, the look of triumph on their faces. It isn't until they were long gone that Porky realized something. "Wait a minute, we could just move this stupid thing!" Porky picked up the C4, left the room, and threw it into the sewer water, practically turning the thing into a useless sack of useless. "Soldiers! Go chase them and kick their asses, or I'll kick yours!" Everyone except Tom Nook, not wanting to get beaten up, ran off after the Smashers. As for them...

The Smashers were back in the city streets, which was deserted. Centurions were flying over the ship, sending their arrows down onto turrets and dodging blasts or being felled by them. Things were starting to look up for the side of good after all.

"You think they called our bluff?" whispered Jigglypuff.

"Probably. But I doubt they noticed Snake sticking a second C4 on the back when the lights were flipping on and off." said Meta Knight.

"_Always have a backup plan._" lectured Snake.

"HEY YOU GUYS!" called out Mr. Game and Watch, his chariot lowering down next to them.

"Mr. Game and Watch, we're glad you brought help. Anyone else here with you?" asked Meta Knight.

"NO, BUT EVERYONE THAT I MET UP WITH WISHES US THE BEST OF LUCK. NOW HOP IN!" Everyone eagerly got into the chariot as it pulled up into the air, using the power of magic and imagination. Actually, just magic, but I want to believe. _BELIEVE!_

"So, what now geniuses?" asked Falco.

"I think we have to fight all of Giygas' minions, activate those comets, and get into Subspace while the bad guys are out of it. That's right, right?" asked Fox.

"Correct." confirmed Snake. "But first we have to get out of range of this thing before we blow it up."

"Yay, I got something right! Whee, this thing is awesome to fly in! It's like a hand grabbed me and is pulling me into the air!" said Fox. He looked down on Falco, Jigglypuff, Young Link, Snake, and Pit, who all had looks of horror on their faces for some reason.

"._..Fox._" said Pikachu, who was right next to Fox. He pointed up into the sky, looking terrified. That's when he saw it: red arms had descended from the sky and grabbed him, Pikachu, and Meta Knight, pulling them away from the others. Mr. Game and Watch tried to fly the chariot toward them, but the chariot literally got bitch slapped by another arm, sending it flying elsewhere. The trio froze, wondering what awaited them in the clouds. Upon getting near the clouds, they covered their mouths, trying not to breathe in teh air, because going insane would make this situation more worse than it already is. An uncomfortable sensation passed through their bodies as they entered the clouds.

* * *

They found themselves in a large, circular room, entirely compromised of red clouds, mist, and terrifying faces. And in the center of the room was Giygas in his Giegue form, who had red cords attaching him to the rest of his body. He grinned at them, giving them a round of applause.

"Meta Knight, Fox, and Pikachu... so you're the guys that's been screwing with my plans since that incident in Fourside. I'm surprised you made it so far, but unfortunately, you're going to die." The trio was honestly scared. They thought that Giygas would be more serious-like, like he was back when he took their castle. However, for some reason, he was happy, no, he was completely giddy! Why was he happy? _Something this evil shouldn't be happy._

"Why are you so happy? You're losing... no offense. Don't hurt me." said Pikachu, his jerk side desolving when Giygas glared at him. However, he went back to smiles.

"Because my second attempt to take over this dimension will succeed." said Giygas simply as that. Meta Knight rose an eyebrow, however, since he put his mask back on, no one could see his confusion.

"Second attempt? When was your first?" asked Meta Knight.

"Well, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't talk about it. But since I'm going to execute you soon anyway, I may as well tell." said Giygas. "First clue. I am an abomination. Or what some would call it, a taboo."

"...Hey, that sort of sounds like that Tabuu guy we fought during that Subspace Emissary thingy!" said Fox. Pikachu and Meta Knight froze. They remember Tabuu, but they certainly don't remember him from any Nintendo franchises...

"Oh my god." said Pikachu, realizing what this means.

"Yes. I took the name because of my abominational existence." said Giygas. Suddenly, his Giegue form started to erase itself in front of their eyes. The outer shell turned into a red mist, floating away from it's skeleton... or in this case, framework... his blue, human like framework. He looked like a computer model. To the trio though, it was an absolute nightmare. "I am not just Giygas, but I'm also Tabuu."

"...Woah, you're Tabuu?" said Fox, having just caught on.

"Yes, yes he is Fox. _Shut up_." said Meta Knight. If he actually tells someone to shut up without apologizing afterward, you know that he's panicking. "How could this be?"

"It's a long story." giggled Giygas/Tabuu. The red mist reconnected to his body, making him look like Giegue again, which was appropriate, because his tale started at the beginning: MOTHER. "My first attempt at world domination was foiled by the emotions I held for my surrogate mother. Yes, I had a mother. Just google this stuff Fox, you idiot. Anyway, if I wanted to take over anything, I had to remove my own emotion."

"That's... that's not possible." said Pikachu in disbelief.

"Oh, but it was. I literally had myself ripped into two pieces: I removed my consciousness from my own body, implanting myself inside this body. I left my emotions with my original body... but without a proper consciousness, it went mad and it turned into this horrible red mess... but I'm not complaining. Heh. While my original body went off to do it's own thing, I went for a far more grand scheme. I scammed Master Hand. Since this form did not belong to any of the Nintendo universes, Master Hand assumed I was in Subspace and 'brought me home.' Naturally, I stabbed him in the back and took over Subspace for myself. And no one ever knew I was Giygas. So, I recovered Porky to intitate my taking over the Nintendo dimension plan by putting Subspace bombs everywhere to bring the lands into my new realm. Obviously this did not work out and I was defeated.

"After that failure, I used whatever strength I had left to bring my consciousness back to own body, putting my emotions back under control. I went back to scheming and soon, I came up with a better plan. This time I decided to recruit people from other universes, as this time I planned to take over each universe individually, planting bombs made of my essence to brainwash the masses. However, the plot holes weren't enough to help realize our goal, especially now that the stupid author is getting smart about this. I needed to get back into Subspace, and I recalled that there was an entrance at the center of the dimension and that I needed seven secrets from seven different universes to get in. To make sure that you guys won't get in my way again, I personally staged an attack on your castle. And now we're all here, on the verge of my glorious victory!" Giygas then burst into an insane laugh, his body switching between the Giegue and Tabuu forms. The three Smashers was silent, their mouths agape, not knowing what to say to this. Meta Knight soon managed to compose himself while their to-be executioner was laughing and asked him a question.

"How are you sure you'll win this time?"

* * *

Roy sat in a Pig Mask spaceship, sipping soda and waiting just in case he needed to make a speedy escape. He watched all of the shenanigans from inside, waiting for Giygas' victory. The door of the ship opened and Pichu entered. He was no longer burnt out and injured, however, he definitely took a heavy hit in morale. He decided to go find Roy and hang out with him, seeing as Pikachu is elsewhere.

"Pikachu kicked your ass, didn't he?" laughed Roy. Pichu pretended that he was squishing his head for a brief moment before he realized something.

"Wait a minute, what are you doing in here! Shouldn't you be out helping us!" yelled Pichu.

"Giygas told me and Jeff that we didn't need to participate if we wanted. Jeff wanted to help anyway though, but I think he forgot all about that." said Roy, glancing at the Earthbound comet.

"Wh-What makes you so special!"

"Oh, you see, we don't need to help. Because we know that we will win no matter what." said Roy. He finished his drink and threw it at Pichu's head, grabbing another one. Pichu scowled at him before pressing him for more information.

"What do you mean?"

"The author is the key. That's what the boss said at least." said Roy. "You see, this story largely depends on Hyper's mood. Like the plot holes existing when he was still lazy."

"I know what plot holes are." scoffed Pichu.

"Yeah, but there are some other things. For example, one day, when Hyper really wanted to get back to work on the story, he sat down, got to work, and released three chapters in one day, with one of the reviews as proof of that. Pretty awesome, but not as awesome as burning down an entire city. But that's my opinion."

"I don't get what this mea-"

"As the story went on, he grew more serious about this, and hence, the story started becoming more serious. In real life he started to get a grim outlook on life and it ended up inspiring what Lucas is today. During high school, he made a new friend, which lead to him elaborating on Pikachu and Fox' friendships. Everything in this story was inspired by something that went on in Hyper's real life. And we learned all this from the journal Ridley got."

Pichu scratched his head. "I see what you're getting at, but how will we win? You can't chnage the writing, and you can't threaten that guy either."

* * *

"You see, the author hasn't fully conceptized the final chapters. That means it can still be changed." said Giygas.

"Yeah, but I don't think you can change it. You're not the author." pointed out Fox.

"I'm aware of that. But I can influence him to change the ending."

"But you can't hurt Hyper... and story related shenanigans outside of the story will be non-canon anyway." said Meta Knight.

"I know that. I read his notebook. We cannot hurt him... however, the Universal Laws for Real Life has one big loophole." said Giygas. He leaned in toward them, flashing a sharp-toothed smile. "We're going to do something non-story related. However, we won't be hurting Hyper. We will hurt his family."

"_...WHAT!"_ yelled all three of them.

"Yes. We can't harm the author, but we can hurt other people!" laughed Giygas. "I plan on having him broken emotionally! He will become a depressed sadsack, and because of his behavior, his story may end on a sad note. Aka, we will win, and all it takes is one little murder. We won't be doing it to change the story, we're doing it to depress Hyper, so it does not fall under the Universal Laws; it'll be a straight up murder. A very, influential murder."

"_Y-You monster! You won't get away with this!_" yelled Meta Knight.

Giygas laughed again. "It's too late. It's already in progress."

_To be continued..._

* * *

_"Ooh! Hyper has leftover chicken in here! Sweet!" Ridley started eating all the food in the fridge when he heard footsteps behind him. Ridley turned and saw my dad standing behind him, utterly baffled._

_"...I'm drunk. I'm probably drunk." my dad said to himself._

_"Oh! You must be Hyper's dad! Nice to meet you!" Ridley frowned and took out his claws. "And sorry to see you go."_

_Hours later..._

_Ugh, school, I hate you so much. Especially the food. And Biology. That owl on the Biology book scares the crap out of me. At least I'm home now. Dad, you here?_

_..._

_Why do I smell blood in the kitchen...?_

_...Oh my god._

* * *

_The real author's notes: __Thought those universal laws in Chapter 16 wouldn't be important? Thought that Mr. Game and Watch from the spin-off wouldn't be important (one of my reviewers however knew what I was planning at; good job!)? Thought that my author notes aren't important? You guessed wrong!_

_So anyway, as some people say, real life writes the plot, and aspects of real life tend to be tied in to people's stories. I decided to take this to the extreme. So anyway, I bet you guys were surprised by the revelation that Giygas was Tabuu. There was a reason why I shown the scenes in Subspace and elaborated on the background of the Subspace Emissary. I came to this idea when I noticed that since Giygas was an abomination, his existence was a Taboo. Get it? Mwhahaha! So, for my questions! Now that my dad (thankfully not dead in real life) is dead, how will this affect me and what will become of the ending? Who will enter Subspace? Will Fox, Meta Knight, and Pikachu die? Are you disappointed that Jeff, Roy, King Boo, and Vaati didn't get much screen time this chapter? Well, who knows the answers? Only the next, and penultimate chapter will tell the tale. Thanks for sticking with me readers, and I hope you'll stick around for the ending!_


	31. The Last Battle, Part Three

_Right... I'm finally done with the second to last chapter. I apologize if the quality of the chapter is bad, it's just that I'm not in the mood for writing..._

_Real author's notes: Hey guys, here's the second to last chapter! Despite the odds and the my murder-induced apathy, will our heroes still win? And woah, I thought the last chapter was long. Well, at least you guys get a nice penultimate chapter!_

* * *

_Chapter 30: The Last Battle, Part 3_

* * *

"What do you mean it's already happening?" said Meta Knight, horrified by what he was hearing. Fox and Pikachu were just as disgusted. They may not like the author, but they still respected him and he didn't deserve having his dad get murdered just to make him sad. Why am I referring to myself as he?

"Hyper! You all right man?" called out the suddenly sympathetic jerk rat.

I'm... I'm fine. It's just that...

"We know! Giygas is being a jerk and had your dad killed! Read the last chapter!" yelled Fox.

...I don't see anything here. What are you talking about? Are you trying to blame Giygas for all this? It can't be him. A lot of money was stolen, so the police thinks a robber got in and stabbed him...

Giygas laughed and leaned in toward the heroes to whisper, "Another loophole. We can't change the story, but we can already change what's been established." So yeah, Ridley changed the story in-universe. If I went back and edited the last chapter for story purposes, new readers would be confused and oh shit I'm out of character I need to be depressed for this. Ahem. Giygas stopped whispering and spoke out loud, "I'm sorry about your dad."

Thanks Giygas. You're a pal.

"He's not a pal! He's our enemy! N-E-M-I-E!" said Fox. But of course I didn't listen. Especially since he spelled it wrong.

Pikachu glared at Giygas, but not too much because staring at his eyes is a terrible idea. "Don't you butter up to him, you bastard!"

"You can kick and scream all you want,_ but you're going to die._" said Giygas. He reached into a red cloud and pulled out a clump of the stuff. The form of the cloud changed shape and turned into a whip; the whip Tabuu used in the fight agaisnt the Smashers to be specific.

"Hyper, you can step in and save us. Anytime now." said Fox nervously, deluding himself into thinking I'd help.

"We can't rely on him anymore. We need to help ourselves." said Meta Knight, staring defiantly at Giygas, despite the fear striking into his heart.

"Any last words?" asked Giygas. They responded with more angry glares and flipping him off. "Very well then." He raised the whip and swung it at them. Fox yelped and ducked as the whip sailed over his head... as well as Meta Knight's and Pikachu's heads for that matter.

"Ha! We're too short for you to hit!" laughed Pikachu.

"Oh yeah! Short people rule!" cheered the tall fox.

"Oh. In that case, **_die slowly._**" said Giygas. The tentacles holding onto them constricted around their body, intending to strangle them to death. But Pikachu didn't want to have any of that. Recalling what went on in the last chapter, Pikachu gave it a shock. The electricity traveled down the tentacle, being made of cloud and gas, and straight into Giygas. He twitched a bit, releasing the heroes from his grasp.

"Ha! Your body conducts electricity! I don't know how science works, but deal with it!" laughed Pikachu.

"Yes, it seems you can't fight us in that body without getting curbstomped by Pikachu here." said Meta Knight.

"...Then I will shed this body." said Giygas dramatically. Suddenly, Giygas' skin melted away, dissolving into the clouds, leaving his wireframe body for all to see. He grunted as textures started to pop up on the wireframe, which is apparently a painful experience (remember that the next time you add textures to something, up-and-coming game designers, you bastards), recreating the Giegue skin. Then, Giygas actually screamed, holding his head as the red environment stripped away. The three Smashers looked at the ground and saw that they were now standing atop the Empire Pork Building. In a bizarre homage (or bit of mocking irony), the top of the Empire Pork Building looked like Final Destination, although refitted to be a helipad.

"Looks like our last fight is here. How fitting." said Meta Knight with a hint of fondness in his tone.

"_I... am... happy..."_

Meta Knight and Pikachu glanced at Fox, hoping to god that he's the one who said that. However, Fox shrugged, being as confused as they were. "I didn't say that." He looked up into the sky and his face dropped. "Oh. I think he said it."

Giygas was now divided in half; one of them was Giygas' consciousness, refitted in a new body. His old, completely morphed and mutated body hung right behind him. The mutated body no longer seemed capable of thought, only giving a blank stare. But Giygas' new body was the one to be more terrified by. He had separated himself from his emotion, which was contained in a completely broken, derpy form. As a result, he wouldn't be bound by emotional attachments, nor would he give any pity or mercy. His eyes shown no emotion either, instead, it shown death.

Then, the gaseous Giygas spoke. "_Pain... it... hurts..._"

Giegue Giygas looked up at him, not looking annoyed in the slightest. "Our separation was years ago. Get the hell over it." He looked back down to Pikachu, Meta Knight, and Fox, who were wishing that Giygas was still in his gas form. At least he had some emotion. "So, are you prepared to die?"

Pikachu gulped while Fox started to cry a little. However, Meta Knight remained defiant. "No. We'll stand our ground."

"So be it. Have at you!" Giygas fell onto the buidling, his arms transformed into sabers once more while his old body derped at everyone, his attention constantly shifting.

Remember when the giant scary red Giygas was the bigger threat? Yep. I do too.

* * *

"Hey, um, Porky kid." said Tom Nook. He and Porky were still in the New Pork City sewers, expressing no desire in wasting effort to chase the Smashers. They usually end up escaping anyway, because that's how this story rolls.

"What is it?" grumbled Porky.

"...There's a second explosive over here." said Nook. Porky pushed him out of the way and saw another C4 explosive, strapped onto some pipes farther back. He tried to use his stubby arms to reach it, but no dice. Then he tried applying his sweet spider legs to the problem, however, it immediately got stuck. Maybe if Porky and Tom Nook had longer arms like Snake, they could have grabbed it. But due to chibi character design, that's practically impossible.

"...Want to get the hell out of here?" Porky asked casually.

"After you." gulped Tom Nook. And so they ran out of there like screaming banshees. Tom Nook took the time to take out a walkie-talkie while he was running in terror. "This ship needs to be evacuated! If anyone dies in the process, you can buy Nookington's Fairy Drink! Price depends on where you're buy-" Porky smacked the walkie-talkie out of his hands. And so they contineud running for their lives.

* * *

"Okay, so you get a chariot that can fly for as long as it wants yet I, an actual angel, could only fly for five minutes?" asked Pit.

"YES." answered Mr. Game and Watch.

"...And you just flew here completely by luck, without any indication as to where the center of the universe is. And you didn't have to go on any adventures whatsoever." said Young Link.

"Pretty much."

"...Marty stu." Then Young Link turned away from him, crossing his arms. Pit was doing the same thing, though most of his anger was directed at Palutena.

"WHAT? NO! I'M NOT A MARTY STU! AM I JIGGLYPUFF?"

"...Hmph." Jigglypuff turned away from him as well. Luckily, Falco and Snake were sane and reasonable (minus Snake's occasional paranoia) and decided to just be grateful for his help. However, Falco was distracted by the brainless Giygas right above them, which was currently distracted by the purple sun.

_"Sun... so... shiny.._."

"...That is so messed up, I don't even..." commented Falco. He could hear a fight going on from the Empire Pork Building, but decided to stay as far away from it as possible.

"...SO SNAKE, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO HERE?"

"Well..." said Snake, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Or he's just trying to look cool, what do I care? I certainly don't. "...we need to activate those comets," He pointed at the comets, some of whom were glowing, "...and get into a portal, which I assume will form inside the sun, before the villains and seal it up." Then, he stopped rubbing his chin, suddenly rememebring something. "Oh right..." He took out a remote detonator and pressed a button...

* * *

The C4 blew up, igniting the pipes and gas, which unleashed what most people would define as, "a total shitstorm". The New Pork City streets found itself blowing up, along with buildings that had turrets mounted on them. Parts of Smash Castle blew up along with the cannons, turning it into a ruin. What didn't blow up was immediately set ablaze, and soon, the inferno started to spread everywhere. Ships started to take off, wanting to escape the terrible fate of being a pork barbeque (because Pig Masks and pork and... yeah I'm not funny). The base of the Empire Pork Building started to light up, but luckily, since it was _absurdly tall_, it would take awhile to reach the combatants.

Oh right. Those guys.

Giygas ran at the heroes, trying to kill them without remorse, his arms already covered with some blood. Due to his fast movements, Pikachu couldn't shock him, and only could when Giygas was near him, which is obviously a terrible thing. Fox managed to keep up with his movements and got a few kicks in, but he got cut and stabbed several times in the process. Only Meta Knight was uninjured, since he was as fast as Giygas and had a weapon that could compete with him. However, despite all this, Giygas didn't seem to be injured. Although, since he doesn't have his emotions at the moment, he might be incapable of showing it.

"Face it, your deaths will be inevitable." He swung at Pikachu, who ducked under his arm and struck his feet. However, he just floated up into the air instead of falling. "Either I kill you, or the inferno below will."

"We won't die! We're... main characters..." said Fox, his sentence trailing off since he has been losing confidence about this since the start of the chapter.

"I'm counting on the other Smashers to succeed for us... whether we live or die..." muttered Meta Knight, staring at the sun and it's comet ring. He dived at Giygas, slashing away at his skin, briefly exposing his wireframe interior. Even though it closed back up, it clearly did damage.

Giygas looked up to his other self. "Hey, can you lend some support?"

_"Sun... so... purple... it hurts..._"

"You're useless." muttered Giygas, casually raising his fist into the face of a pouncing Pikachu and tripping over Fox. Meta Knight in the meantime just observed the situation...

* * *

"Please stop trying to kill me." pleaded Ness quietly, hiding behind a rock as Ashley and Lucas approached him.

They both exchanged glances and said, "Nope."

"...O-Okay. L-L-Lucas, remember when we were friends? What happened to the wimp we all knew?" said Ness. He knew that was not the best thing to say when Lucas threw a PK Ice at him. "Stop! Please stop!"

"I'm sorry, but he belongs to me now." said Ashley, slinging her arm over Lucas' shoulder. "He's been conditioned, tortured to the point of obeying me of his own free will. Plus, if he disobeys me, I could just kill him myself! Isn't he so adorable? Especially with this knife against his neck?" She held up a knife agaisnt Lucas' throat, and he didn't seem to mind.

"...You're going to kill him?" gasped Ness.

"I don't mind Ness. In fact, I would be happy with dying. I could be with mother and brother again. They actually cared about me." giggled Lucas. Ness looked at Ashley and saw a look in her eyes... he started stepping towards her.

"Don't... just surrender or I'll kill him." threatened Ashley. Even though Ness got closer, she didn't go through with her threat. He was practically up in her face and there was still no throat slitting.

"You won't do it. Just as you've grown on him, he's grown on you." said Ness, grinning.

"Th-That's ridicu-" dismissed Ashley, but Ness punched her in the face, knocking her unconscious. Even though she was destructive, Ashley was still a child who could be taken down easily. Ness turned to Lucas, hoping that seeing his handler get beaten down would fix him.

Lucas expressed his surprise in the most eloquent way possible: he proceeded to hit Ness with his twig and started beating him in the head with it. "How dare you do that Ness? You claimed that you're my friend! _IF YOU WERE MY FRIEND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT YOU PIECE OF-_"

"P-PK Teleport..." muttered the battered youth with the last of his strength.

* * *

"You... you guys stink! I'll disembowel you! Remove your eyestalks! _Force you to watch the Twilight movies!_" yelled Dr. Mario, naming various torture methods as he lay on the ground, severely crippled after the fight. Without the Ultimate Chimera helping him, Mario, Luigi, the Ice Climbers and Ganondorf flat out kicked his ass.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Quick, what do we do with him?" asked Ganondorf.

"Try to turn him to the side of good?" suggested Nana.

"Pfft. Too predictable. And good is dumb."

"I take offense to-a that." muttered Mario.

"How about we slingshot him into the sun?" said Popo.

"Sounds great, but that sun doesn't look deadly at all." said Ganondorf, looking at the purple sun.

"We... leave him-a alone?" said Luigi. Everyone looked at him as if this was a dumb diea. Which it totally was. They started to brainstorm and throw around ideas, while Mario kept his doctor clone from crawling to the nearest scapel. Then, he got an idea.

"Hey! Bring-a the beast over here-a!" said Mario. Ganondorf nodded and left, coming back shortly, dragging the Ultimate Chimera. "Open the mouth!"

The doctor's eyes widened as he saw Ganondorf open the Ultimate Chimera's jaws. "Woah! Wait, hold on, you're going to put me in there?"

Mario shrugged. "It won't hurt-a you unless it wakes-a up."

"...YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!_ I'M YOU!"_ screamed Dr. Mario as Ganondorf started to drag him to the monster.

"You tried to kill us! With... needles..." said Popo before crawling up into a ball and weeping, having gained a newfound fear of needles and doctors in general.

"Yeah! And when you-a first came to be-a, you kept stuffing pills down-a people's throats!" protested Luigi, who also started to cry due to his one and only check up with Dr. Mario. And this was before he went insane, which says a lot. Speaking of stuffing things down throats, Ganondorf started stuffing a screaming Dr. Mario inside of the Ultimate Chimera's mouth. He then closed up the mouth, which effectively shut the doctor up.

"...Did we just stuff him inside the Ultimate Chimera?" said Nana, reflecting on the absurdity of what just went down.

"Yes we did! We should-a celebrate!" cheered Mario. And so the others indeed celebrated; even Ganondorf couldn't resist in joining the celebrations. "...but we need to-a help everyone else-a now!" Everyone promptly went silent.

"...Boo." said Luigi.

* * *

"I am Linkzilla! What's that? You guys want me to stop saving the world to do your chores? _WELL SCREW YOU!_" yelled Link, smashing another random island.

"Um, Link, is that you?" asked a very concerned Peach, who was right behind him. Links scowled and started to reach for his sword, but he remembered that Peach didn't know that he became evil. He could definitely use this to his advantage.

"Hey Peach! Great to see you here! Sorry, I got distracted while looking for this riddle thing! Can you help out?" asked Link.

"Sure, why wouldn't I help my friends?"

"If I was evil."

"What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

"Ha! What now son, what now!" laughed Fox, having just punched Giygas in the face. Although the fire was quickly spreading upward, the fight was still going well. At this point, Fox and Pikachu have also gotten used to Giygas' movements and were about on the same level as him and Meta Knight. And to help things, giant red scary Giygas was uncooperative. Yay... Well, the only thing that could ruin this is if someone comes out of nowhere...

"You called?" said a voice. A hatch on the top of the building opened and Mewtwo flew out. He floated toward Mewtwo and took ahold of him using his psychic powers.

"Wait, what is-" Then Mewtwo flung him into the distance, toward one of the comets.

Mewtwo looked at Fox and Pikachu and gave them a thumbs up. "You're welcome."

"You're a dick." said Pikachu.

"Good job Mewtwo. That's one less person to fight." complimented Giygas. He didn't really sound that complimenting, but Mewtwo accepted it anyway.

"Thank you sir. If you excuse me..." He took out a walkie-talkie. "All soldiers who aren't dead and are in ships, start moving out toward the comets and capture them for us. Thank you." Fox and Pikachu looked up and realized that there was one negative effect to destroying the battleship; without the battleship, the only place the soldiers on the thing would go to is the comets, where their friends were. And indeed, some ships were already heading towards them.

"I hate you. I hate you so much." growled Pikachu. Mewtwo just grinned before floating off to one of the comets himself.

"...Well, now where were we. Oh that's right, die already." said Giygas. He looked up to his gas form again. "You, do you want a cookie?"

"_Yes... cookie's are good... cookies are happiness..._"

"I'll give you a cookie if you help me grind these guys into the ground." said Giygas. Then, Fox and Pikachu started to run around screaming while the gas Giygas laughed gleefully, dropping anvils upon them.

"_OH NO NOW THIS STORY IS ALSO A BAD CARTOON!_" screamed Fox as a stray cat landed on his face.

* * *

"Wow, it's awesome to walk again!" cheered Kirby, running around the surface of the Kirby universe comet, which was slightly warm from the earlier onslaught. Olimar and his Pikmin just followed closely behind, looking around for anything mysterious. Then, a loud booming noise came from nearby. All of them ran to the source and found a crater with a blue thing lying inside. "Woah! It's an alien!"

"Bring the object to me!" said Olimar, believing that the whatever it is is an object. The Pikmin went into the crater and carried out... yup, the object was Meta Knight. But they weren't competent enough to know that yet of course. "This seems to be a spherical object wearing a mask and a cape..."

"Gasp! It's a Meta Knight cosplay costume! Man, he'll be so happy to find out that he has his own cosplay outfits!" said Kirby.

The spherical creature began to regain consciousness. "Urgh... I am Meta Knight, Kirby."

Olimar reeled back, still not quite competent enough. "The object is a living specimen! Attack!" All of the Pikmin assembled behind Olimar, but his eyes blinked in surprise when he finally regained his competence. "Hold on, the specimen is Meta Knight, one of our friends!"

"I just said that I'm Meta Knight." sighed the small knight.

"Disregard him my Pikmin. ...Put your sticks down." said the small man, trying to calm down his Pikmin. Meanwhile, Kirby was hugging Meta Knight, because who doesn't like hugs? Oh I wish I had a hug right now.

"Yay! You came to help me!" said Kirby. Meta Knight however decided to be a jerk and push Kirby away.

"Sorry kirby, but I didn't come to help. I just got separated from Fox and Pikachu and..." Meta Knight was going to fly back to the burning Empire Pork Building but then saw that the space around the battleship it was positioned on was surrounded by enemy ships flying toward them. "...On second thought, I'll stay for a bit."

"Oh boy, we're going to have so much fun, oh! Let's play hide-and-seek! I'll hide!" Before Meta Knight could get a say in this, Kirby ran away.

"...Exciteable fellow, isn't he?" said Olimar.

"AAAH!" screamed Kirby off somewhere else. He ran back to the others, freaking out. "Guys! I was just over there and I heard a voice in my head, and it wasn't Ness'!"

"You heard him. Pikmin, investigate, but be careful!" said Olimar. The Pikmin happily saluted and went to where Kirby ran off to. Shortly afterwards, a little Blue Pikmin came back to report. "...A huh..."

"What is it?" asked Meta Knight.

"...I have no idea what he's saying." said Olimar. Meta Knight sighed. "But he seems as freaked out as Kirby.." Meta Knight decided to see what this was about and went to where all the Pikmin were, who were running around in circles, shrieking. If someone could understand them, they would be saying... aw screw it I'm not in the mood for jokes. Then, Meta Knight heard a voice in his head.

_A factory of nightmares, a surface made of ice,_  
_this deadly planet is not very nice._

He didn't even have to have Dimensional Secret knowledge to know the answer. "Shiver Star."

This comet started glowing too and shot another beam to join the others into the sun. Only three comets were left to activate...

* * *

Mewtwo observed as the new beam hit the sun, which was beginning the glow a little. He took out his walkie-talkie again to contact the people deployed on the remaining comets. "This is Mewtwo, report."

"Mewtwo, I'm making some great archeological discoveries here!" announced Jeff.

"Yeah, archeology is more better in real life than on the History Channel!" said King Boo, also on Jeff's end.

"H-Hello Mewtwo. Ashley is unconscious, so I'll look for the riddle for her. She'll be so pleased! Maybe we'll celebrate with cupcakes!" chirped Lucas on Ashley's walkie-talkie.

"Oooh, cupcakes sound nice." said Ridley, somehow turning up in the conversation.

"Ridley, glad you're here. Can you go help those_ utter boobs Jeff and King Boo_ look for their riddle?" asked Mewtwo. Jeff and King Boo were insulted but remained quiet since he was compeltely right. In fact, the entire group was consisted of general screw-ups.

"...Dude, ouch." said Jeff, offended by my comment.

Lucas was heard smashing his walkie-talkie.

"...Okay, that's mean, even for you." commented the already mocked ghost king.

"...Wow, I didn't know you'd get so sad and angry." said Ridley.

"...Okay, my plans to take over the Pokemon world were foiled, but I am trying again sometime. You didn't have to be so rude about that." said Mewtwo.

I'm sorry that you can't hide from the truth, you feline bastard.

Mewtwo awkwardly coughed, deciding to ignore me and put his attention on Link, who hasn't responded yet. "Link, are you there?"

Link's voice crackled. "...sorry Mewtwo, sort of busy. What? No, I'm not talking to anyone Peach. You're crazy. And I'm not crazy. Just you. ...Okay Mewtwo, I got this. I will answer the riddle and deliver Peach's head to you on a silver platter!"

"...I never said anything about Peach..."

"_WELL I'LL DO IT ANYWAY! AND I WILL DECORATE IT WITH WITH KETCHUP THAT'S TOTALLY NOT BLOOD AND APPLES! EVERYONE LOVES APPLES! HAHAHA-_ Wait what? No Peach, I'm still not talking to anyone." Link's line went dead. Mewtwo closed off his connection, shaking his head. He floated toward the armada of ships, so he could retake command and decimate and/or capture the other Smashers.

* * *

"...so Bowser can be sweet sometimes, but I'm just not into him. In fact, me and Mario could be good friends with him if he stopped kidnapping me and stopped cheating at the karting tournament, I mean, seriously..." rambled Peach. Link gritted his teeth, feverishly reminding himself not to kill her until they found this riddle thing. So he just pretended to listen while they walked around. Suddenly, his leg caught on something and he tripped.

"...Urgh..." groaned a bleeding Ness, who Link had just tripped over.

"Oh my gosh, Ness! You poor boy, what happened!" shrieked Peach, crouching over Ness.

"**FINISH HIM!**" snapped Link.

"Wait, what?"

"I mean help him up! Think about the children."

* * *

"Right then, three more left to go. However, there's one thing that worries me..." stated Olimar.

"What is it?" asked Meta Knight.

"That." Olimar pointed at the sky as his Pikmin hid behind him, fearing the ships in the sky. The nearest ones suddenly started shooting at them, bombarding the comet with lasers. Luckily, they were all terrible shots, so no one was hit. But still, they decided that running away would be a smart and reasonable action, so Kirby scooped up his small allies into his mouth and started to run with Meta Knight from the storm of lasers. Meta Knight looked back at the ships and saw the Empire Pork Building in the distance. The fire was up to the middle, and the mindless Giygas had joined in the fight too. Since it's still fighting though, Meta Knight knew that Fox and Pikachu were still alive, but probably not for long. He needed someway to get there without getting ripped apart by lasers. Then, he gets an idea.

"Kirby, swallow me." commanded Meta Knight.

"Bhut vy?" responded Kirby.

"What?"

"He said, 'But why?'" said Olimar from inside Kirby's mouth.

"Listen, we need to take out those ships, and there are a few Centurions left. I don't know where Game and Watch and the others went, so we have to deal with it; and I know how..."

* * *

Inside one of the ships firing at the Kirby universe comet, Pichu was piloting while Roy was sulking in a corner.

"Hmph. This ship has no burny lasers." grunted Roy.

"Hey, I'm a bit pissed too. Giygas wants to kill Pikachu himself. Stupid all powerful boss getting his last say in things..." grumbled Pichu. Then, as if on cue, their ship suddenly rocked to the side, being hit by something. Pichu was understandably freaked out. "_Oh crap did he hear that?_"

"...No... quick! We must burn the witch who did this!" yelled Roy, drawing his sword when the ship rocked again, knocking him over. But this time, a huge gash appeared on a side of the ship. The metal cut away, revealing Meta Knight spinning around, using Mach Tornado. They cautiously stuck their heads out of the hole and watched both Meta Knight and a masked Kirby, who were both using Mach Tornado to pinball around the fleet. The ships present did not open fire, since it was very likely that they'll end up hitting each other instead of the spinning attackers. Yep, even extras can learn how to use logic. Oh sorry, did that hurt your feelings unnamed characters? Well screw you.

"Don't insult my soldiers." muttered Mewtwo, standing on the top of one of the ships. "Pilots, separate then start shooting at those two!"

"Whee!" laughed Kirby gleefully, smashing into enemy ships and cutting them. Olimar and his Pikmin in the meantime borrowed the Warp Star and is currently escaping in the midst of the chaos. Meta Knight however had a different target in mind: the Empire State Building. He started tornado-ing his way there, damaging everything in his way.

* * *

Fox and Pikachu were now feeling fatigue set in. They were wounded, they were tired, they've been in the presence of the Giygas gas for a good amount of time and they were now feeling light-headed and delirious, and they could feel the oncoming heat below them, which came with smoke that started to overwhelm them. Giygas in the meantime continued to show no hesitation in killing them. The only plus was that the clouds above was a big obvious target.

"Take this!" shouted Pikachu, throwing a thunderbolt into the air.

The cloud Giygas shrieked in agony (the sound of which was also agonizing to everyone in a mile vicinity), "_The pain... it hurts... everything hurts... pain, pain, pain..."_

Then, Fox, in his most ultimate act of stupidity, felt sorry for him. "That's okay bud... um, not buddy. Hey, we can go out for ice cream if you want. Ice cream makes people happy, but you're paying for yourself since you're giant and-"

"Whoops." said the Giegue-Tabuu-Giygas-Guy, skewering through Fox's stomach. Fox gasped in pain as Giygas took his arm out of him. Fox fell to the ground, un-moving. Pikachu was not amused.

"_I'll kill you!_" shrieked Pikachu in fury. He launched himself at Giygas, ignoring more reasonable courses of action in his delirium and rage. However, Giygas simply caught him and started strangling him.

"That was a stupid mistake, and most likely your last." said Giygas. Pikachu attempted to shock him, but found that he was not circulating electricity at all. "Trying to shock me? You should pay more attention to your PP, rat."

"M-My PP?"

"Yes, the points that determine how many times Pokemon can use a certain move. You could do things like tackling and tail-whips easily; I'm frankly surprised that you need PP for those moves. However, you've used up all the PP for your electric moves."

"B-Bull!" shouted Pikachu. He tried to think of when PP actually mattered, but then he realized that he hasn't really used his electricity moves that much throughout the story. Plus, he usually slept during space journeys, so his PP would have been restored. During all the constant battles and running, he never really thought about PP.

"Welp, since you're incapable of fighting my emotional form now..." Giygas briefly dropped Pikachu and floated upward into his other form. Suddenly, the giant eyes started to gain life behind them, and the faces were starting to look more fierceful and threatening. Then, Giygas descended back down, now showing emotion. Said emotion was happiness coupled up with a horrible grin. Before Pikachu could run, hands swooped down from the sky and held him where he was. Giygas reached into some of the clouds and pulled out several syringes, filled with an unknown red liquid. "Let's play a game."

"I don't know what it is." said an utterly terrified Pikachu.

"Too bad, you're already playing. We're playing darts, except you're the target, and the darts are actually syringes filled with a slow acting poison I made myself that will kill you."

"_This is the worst game ever._"

"Unfortunately, you have no say in the matter." chuckled Giygas. He threw his first syringe, but it flew over Pikachu's head. Then, he threw a second, which hit one of the hands holding Pikachu. The hand started to shrivel and let go of Pikachu, but it was quickly replaced by another one. A third one, and it landed at the ground before the rat. Pikachu gulped. He knew full well that Giygas could kill him immediately; he's just deliberately missing. Either he'll kill him with the last syringe, or stall him until the roof of the Empire Pork Building was on fire so that he could die a fiery death. And that's a terrible thing. I think. Pikachu saw Fox stir a bit, but he's obviously in no condition to fight.

_'Well excuse me for trying to incorporate a life lesson in my story, you ungrateful little weasal. I predict that you'll die, sad and alone. There, I said it. It's my official headcanon and I'm sticking by it.'_

Pikachu recalled what I said several chapters before and realized that in my state, this will happen, and indeed, with Fox out of it, Pikachu would truly die sad and alone. "Look... I know you're messing with me. Just throw it at me and end it already."

"With pleasure." said Giygas. He threw the syringe directly at Pikachu...

...but it didn't hit him. Pikachu opened his eyes.

Meta Knight was standing in front of him.

* * *

Peach piggybanked a still unconscious Ness while helping Link look around for the riddle. Link twitched, getting impatient. He really wanted to murder her. Nothing against her personally, but when you're insane, you sort of want to kill everyone. So yeah, not your fault Peach. Yeah... Hey, where did Peach wander off to?

_Within a cyclone lies this fellow,_  
_to get his melody you must shoot with arrows._

"Cyclos." stated Peach, standing in the spot where the riddle was issued. The comet glowed and shot another light in the sun. The sun looked as if it was going to explode; maybe it will. Who knows for sure until the last two comets are activated? "Hey Link! I found it!"

"Oh that's good." said Link. Peach's smile goes away when she saw the sword in his hand and the evil look in his eye. "Now I can do this without having to worry about doing anything else." He lunged at Peach as she clutched Ness, starting to turn and run away...

"STAY AWAY FROM-A PEACH!" shouted a familiar voice. Peach looked up into the sky and smiled as the Koopa Klown Car descended and knocked Link over. Mario jumped out of the vehicle and ran to hug Peach.

"Awww..." said Nana, casually taking a picture of the scene. She clearly has her prioritizes straight.

"Hey, ramming Link was really fun... Can I drive this thing?" asked Ganondorf, who was actually excited.

"Sure, whatever." said Mario, who was clearly distracted at the moment.

Link knew that he couldn't fight the Koopa Klown Car with a sword. "Oh, hey, Ganon. It's sort of funny that I'm evil and you're on the good side and... SHIT!" He ran away screaming as Ganondorf barred down on him in the Klown Kar, while Popo and Luigi were also screaming since Ganondorf's driving skills were atrocious.

"...Hey wait, is that-a Ness?" said Mario.

"Don't worry, he'll be okay. He just needs rest." answered Peach. "Where's Mr. Game and Watch? And the others?"

"They're camping!" shouted Popo as they passed the couple.

"...Camping?"

"They're-a sticking by the sun and they are-a waiting till the gateway opens so they could-a be the first ones-a in." explained Mario.

"...Isn't that cheating?"

"We're the good-a guys. Does it-a matter?"

* * *

Pit flew around space, shooting light bows at various ships that Kirby wasn't already tearing up. Mr. Game and Watch flew the chariot while Falco and Snake shot lasers and explosives, while Jigglypuff sung at the nearest ships to put their piliots to sleep. Young Link, who was pretty much useless in this situation, just watched in astonishment. At the moment they could hold their ground...

* * *

"...What." said Giygas, who clearly did not expect Meta Knight to come back into the fray. So much so that he actually dropped Pikachu, whom immediately ran over to the knight. He turned him over and saw that the syringe had pierced his mask... and him.

"So... so glad you're safe..." said Meta Knight in a quiet voice.

"Shh... don't talk, it'll be okay. Oh crap, oh crap..." Pikachu said hysterically, starting to completely lose it.

"Well, you guys get to die together now. Won't that be comforting?" questioned Giygas mockingly. He approached Pikachu, producing another syringe... when said syringe was blasted out fo his hands.

Fox held his blaster, smiling weakly. "Yes! These aren't completely useless after all!" While Giygas was still cut off guard, Fox stumbled over and tripped him. Since he did not expect it this time, he actually fell over. Fox picked up Meta Knight, while using his other hand to try and stop the bleeding. "Come on Pikachu! We're getting out of here!"

"What are you blathering about? This roof is the only thing that's not on fire." pointed out Giygas as he stood back up.

Fox started limping toward the hatch Mewtwo had opened up earlier and dropped down. Pikachu looked at both it and Giygas before giving Giygas the finger and following after him. Giygas just glared at the hatch silently but shrugged. They were going to burn in the fire anyway. His silent glare was broken when he heard his walkie-talkie calling.

"Giygas sir..." said Mewtwo's voice from it.

* * *

"Do we really need to come along?" commented Jeff.

"Say wha? _Don't you want a good grade_?" asked Ridley, who was leading Jeff and King Boo away from the exciting life of archeology.

"...What are these even for?"

"I don't know, but I don't want to be a failure." gulped King Boo.

_A land in the air is ruled by a prince going on a journey,_  
_Below it is the answer and another Sanctuary._

"Um... what?" said King Boo, wondering where the voice came from.

"...Wait... this is a trick question! It must be!" said Ridley, deciding that answering the question was dumb.

"Oh god for heaven's sake, PINK CLOUD!" yelled Jeff, not wanting to deal with their idiotic bickering. The answer was correct; the Earthbound universe comet was now glowing and shooting a beam into the purple sun.

* * *

Lucas carried Ashley around as he wandered around the odd WarioWare universe comet, humming a small tune to himself. He stepped into seemingly inconspicuous spot and he heard the final riddle in his head.

_Their treasure was taken from their temple of form,_  
_in this odd world this was sort of the norm._

"...Splunk." answered Lucas.

* * *

"Giygas sir... we did it." finished Mewtwo. Giygas looked at the purple sun and saw that seven beams has shot into it. The sun started to slowly expand, bathing everything in a purple-ish light. Suddenly, the sun condensed in on itself, growing smaller and smaller until it was completely flattened. Then, the now 2-D sun expanded, transforming into a gateway of light with it's circumference covered in purple. Behind the gateway was a purple realm, with dark purple skies and floors that was seemingly formed by stardust. It was a breathtaking, albeit a little creepy, place. But this is a terrible thing; the villains have succeeded in opening the center of the dimension. They've reached Subspace.

"Yes... Hahaha... _HAHAHAHA!_ We've finally made it!" laughed Giygas. "Mewtwo, get everyone else in there, stat! Have the soldiers take care of any Smashers who try to break in!" He looked at the gateway, grinning evily. He couldn't wait to take over Subspace again. He started floating towards it, ignoring the flaming wreck behind him. He stopped caring about getting his revenge on the trio of Smashers who've bested him for so long. He's won, and they're as good as dead anyway.

* * *

"Th-They must have at least one spaceship in here somewhere..." coughed Fox. Since there was a helipad on the top of the building, he assumed that there must be a floor nearby to store ships. This was actually a pretty good assumption. For Fox anyway. Pikachu followed after him, agreeing that it made sense. The rat watched his tall fox companion carefully, making sure that he doesn't drop from loss of blood. Or injuries. Or oxygen. "...Y-you know, the air down here is better than the stuff up th-there..."

"This place is filled with goddamn smoke." said Pikachu.

"Yeah. B-but at least smo-smoke isn't made of pure evil..."

Pikachu looked outside the window and saw the gateway. "Looks like the comets were activated. We ha-have to get there..."

"...Or escape."

"...Why are you suddenly unethusiastic?"

"...I don't know, if Hyper isn't, I'm not either."

Yeah... I don't feel very hammy today...

"...This is the worst chapter yet. ...Did you get that Hyper?" Pikachu called out hopefully, having insulted the story on purpose.

Don't care.

"...I'm screwed."

* * *

"Oh come on! The actual gateway's on the other side!" growled Falco, hitting himself in the forehead. The other side of the gate was simply light, and did not transport anyone anywhere, much to the Smashers and the people who were fighting them disappointment.

"I'M FLYING TO THE OTHER SIDE, HOLD ON." said Mr. Game and Watch. The chariot flew around the gate, with Pit following; they were met face to face with all the remaining ships. They started screaming as the chariot tried to dive out of the way of a bombardment of lasers... but the guys they were fighting just earlier had followed behind and actually shot the chariot.

"...Should we be worried if this thing catches on fire?" asked Young Link, looking at the scorch marks.

"You should be worried if _anything's_ on fire." corrected Jigglypuff. She yelped and ducked as a laser flew above her head.

"Th-They're everywhere!" screamed Pit, trying to shoot arrows at the ships, but he was constantly forced to dodge, throwing him off his aim.

"Heeeeree's Porky!" blared one of the ships as it rammed into the chariot. The door started to unhatch as the Smashers aboard the chariot prepared to battle Porky. However, when the door opened, the fat kid did not come out. Instead, Tom Nook appeared, holding his broom.

"Batter up." said the raccoon. Before anyone reacted, he swung his broom at Young Link, throwing him across the distance... and into Kirby, disrupting his Mach Tornado Combo (which is a cool name for a combo, I guess).

"Oh hi Young Link." said Kirby.

"Sup."

Before they could float off into the endless void of space forever, they were caught by Olimar and the Warpstar. Good for them. Before the raccoon could knock anyone else into the distance, Falco punched him in the face and he fell back into the ship. Immediately, Porky took his place and responded by shanking Falco with his spider legs. Jigglypuff started to sing, calming down the situation and putting the fat kid to sleep. She simply pushed him back down into the ship he came from.

"Ow." said Nook, since Porky apparently landed on him.

"Guys!" yelled Pit, landing on Mr. Marty Stu's chariot due to his power of flight limit. "They're entering Subspace right now! We need to kick em' out and close that thing before they take over the whole dimension!"

"What he said. Get to flying Game and Watch." said Snake.

"OKA- WAIT, DID THE NARRATION CALL ME MR. MARTY STU?" Weren't you doing something important? "OH RIGHT. COVER FOR ME GUYS." Mr. Marty Stu turned the chariot and flew it straight through the gateway, ignoring all the lasers flying at them.

* * *

"What's th-that Meta? We're going to die in this fi-fi-fire?" said Fox, talking to the comatose Meta Knight. "Oh no we won't.. hack. We're the heroes, we're the heroes..."

Pikachu rolled his eyes and coughed. If they hung around any longer, the roof may finally five way and crush them. Or the bottom of the building will. In fact, he's confused as to why the Empire Pork Building hasn't collapsed yet. And by the fact that there's a fire in space. But then he remembered this was one of my stories and he was like, okay cool screw you logic. What use is logic anyway? Wait, did I use this joke already? Maybe. Pretty sure. Why am I such a mess?

"Because G-Gi-Giygas is... (cough) an asshole." replied Pikachu. He searched through the smoke... and saw a metallic door. "Fox, look.." They both looked at the door with curiosity. They bolted for it and pried it open, and to their relief, they were facing the interior of a vessel. They closed the door and started to cheer.

"Oh wow! They have AC!" said Fox, activating the ship and flipping on the air conditioning. He and Pikachu spent about a minute catching their breaths and enjoying the awesomeness that is air conditioning. Then they remembered that there's some maniacal abomination trying to take over their dimension, so they got back to their save-y thing. Before seating themselves down, they gratefully dug into a box of first aid and applied it to their wounds. The two tried to see if anything worked on Meta Knight, but unfortunately, nothing had effect. Pikachu turned on a screen and an annoying Facebook notification appeared in the corner. Before Pikachu could destroy it, he noticed that it was informing him that three people were trying to contact them. He decided to spare Facebook today and open the chat.

Three faces were on the screen: Olimar's, Snake's, and Luigi's.

"Is this thing on?" asked Young Link on Olimar's channel, poking the webcam installed on the Warpstar.

"Yes it is, shoo." said Olimar. "Fox, Pikachu, Meta Knight; how are things?"

"We just avoided burning to death." said Fox in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Wah! You guys have to-a get out of there-a! The whole battleship is-a collapsing! I'd hate-a to be you right-a now!" said Luigi.

"Okay." said Fox. He flew the ship out of the nearest window, and just in time too; the building finally decided to obey physics and collapsed onto the battleship. The battleship has since been burning away, breaking into pieces. Everyone was glad that it was out of everyone's hair, but they were a little miffed by the fact that Smash Castle is burning down too. Pikachu spotted Giygas way ahead of them, gliding toward the gateway.

"Where are you guys? Giygas is heading through that gate." informed Pikachu.

"_OH GOD REALLY? GUYS WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!_" screamed Pit, his spazzing out arms smacking Snake in the face.

"Calm down kid! Battle's not over y- _will you stop!_" snapped Snake. "Thanks. Anyway, we're flying alongside the enemy through this place. Subspace looks like it was last time, but I see buildings now. They haven't noticed us yet, but when that Porky kid wakes up, he'll have everyone hunting us down."

"And we're-a... um..." stammered Luigi.

"TAKE THIS LINK! _I WILL RUN YOU INTO THE GROUND!_" cackled Ganondorf maniacally as he had the Koopa Klown Car chase Link.

"...we're occupied."

"Well, we all need to join up with the Snake and the others. Stop Ganondorf from being a jerk and come on!" said Pikachu.

"Never!" shouted Ganondorf defiantly.

"Wait, quick question. If we head into Subspace, won't we be an easy target for Giygas?" asked Olimar.

"Didn't Subspace lead to everywhere else in the dimension? Or something?" suggested Fox.

"He's right. Even if he decides to screw us over, we can slip away." said Pikachu. "Any other questions?"

"Can we-a-" began Luigi.

Pikachu already knew what he was going to ask. "No, we are not running away! I'm scared too, but Fox and I just fought Giygas himself earlier, and lived. And we're still going after him. So suck it up, try not to pee yourself and curl up into a ball, and help us close up Subspace _so that Giygas will leave everyone the fuck alone._" Everyone was silent. Then, Kirby started clapping, followed by the Ice Climbers, and soon, everyone started applauding, praising Pikachu's bad-assery. However, Snake realized that something was off.

"Wait, 'Fox and I?' What happened to Meta Knight?" asked Snake. Everyone's newfound confidence turned to curiosity and worry.

"OMG, is Meta alright?" said a very worried Kirby.

Fox propped Meta Knight into one of the chairs and covered his own mouth. "Er... hey everyone, I'm Meta Knight! I'm totally fine and totally not poisoned!" Fox was doing a poor attempt at mimicking Meta Knight's voice, but everyone somehow bought it. "Guys, we're sooo totally kicking Giygas' butt! Hey, remember when the story was funnier and completely not bleak? I sure did!"

"Yeah..." Luigi agreed. Everyone else also tried to remember when this was still a slapstick comedy that was not depressing. While they did that, Pikachu checked up on Meta Knight, and found that he was still alive. Pikachu tried to put up a brave face for everyone else and turned to the camera.

"Alright guys, we're charging into Subspace! Giygas and his dumb cronies can just screw themselves! Even though the author seriously needs help, even if things somehow get worse, we. Will. _Beat them._"

"You heard him guys! Let's save everything we love!_ For Nintendo! For Smash Brothers! For bacon!_" chanted Fox. Everyone else gave a cheer and their images disappeared from the screen. Fox started piloting toward where the purple sun once was, flying over Giygas to avoid getting in his way. Even with Meta Knight out of commission, everyone was still confident about this.

Man, you don't know how inspiring that is. It almost cheers me up.

Almost.

* * *

_To be continued in the last chapter..._

* * *

_Real author's notes: Howdy ya'll, sorry for the long delay, but here's the penultimate chapter of the story! School and finals sort of got in the way, but thankfully, tomorrow's the last day of school for me, so hip hip, hooray! Originally, I was going to write this chapter up to the ending and have the epilogue as the last chapter, but not only was this a good cliffhanger, but this chapter was getting pretty long. I didn't want to put you readers through several more agonizing days of waiting, considering that I've missed out on more than a month already. So there you go._

_I bet some of you are wondering what I'm going to do after this story. Well, I plan on giving The Normals full-time attention, and I'm considering finishing up the Halloween story. As for the Alternate Reality thing, I'm sorry for the guys who liked it, but I've lost interest in it. What I planned for that fic was some serious stuff, and I'm not quite good at writing serious material. Maybe when I improve as a writer, I'll get back to it. I also may or may not be planning a Mario story that's a sequel to something I made. I've also got several one shots planned for various fandoms, so look forward to that. Once again, I thank all of you for staying with me throughout this story, and I hope you'll love the final chapter, no matter what direction it goes. No, I'm not implying a gainax ending. No matter how crack-y the things I write are, I will never pull that on you. Wait, didn't I do that for a few one-sho- YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND._

_So speaking of the final chapter. Will Meta Knight recover? Will Giygas conquer Subspace and by extent, the entire Nintendo dimension? Where was Vaati in this chapter? Is he still getting beaten up by Gyroids of all things? Will a character die in the next chapter? Where are Crazy and Master Hands during all this? Find out in the final chapter of Attack of Giygas!_


	32. The End of All Things Silly

_...Let's just get this over with already..._

_Real author's notes: All real author notes will be saved for the end, thank you very much. Enjoy the final chapter! And wow, this is pretty bloody long._

* * *

_Last time on Attack of Giygas... okay, if you've been following this story, then you know what's going on. To everyone else, here's the rundown: Giygas has opened up the gateway to Subspace and he is preparing to invade. Meta Knight, Ness, Ashley and Vaati (wait that's a good thing in Ashley and Vaati's cases) are incapacitated, and everyone's been injured to an extent. However, the Smashers morales are high and they're prepared to fight to the death! Maybe not Luigi, but everyone else will! And now, without further ado..._

* * *

_Chapter 31: The End of All Things Silly  
Alternate Chapter Name: The Last Chapter_

* * *

"How long do you think he has?" asked Fox, looking at Meta Knight.

"Don't know. But since Giygas made the poison, it'll probably take awhile. He's a jerk like tha- LOOK WHERE YOU'RE FLYING!" yelled Pikachu. Fox turned and saw that he was piloting their ride straight toward Giygas. He screamed like a girl and pulled up, avoiding a horrible and only 10% hilarious death.

"Well crisis averted!" said Fox cheerfully. "Did I do an awesome job Meta Knight? ...Yeah, that was awesome."

Another Facebook styled notification popped up on a screen. It was another chat request, so Pikachu resisted the urge to smash the screen and talk to whoever was hailing them. To their surprise, it was none of their allies or their enemies, but it was a Primid. "Oh finally, someone who picked up our message! Ahem, welcome to Subspace travelers! You may park your fleet in the nearest empty field! Squishing innocent civilians will result in a hilarious death!"

"Wait... how hilarious?" asked Fox, missing the point as usual.

"Um, 70%. We'll be siccing our death sheep on the offenders. Sorry, but our population is low, so..."

"Guy, we're not with this fleet. Those ships are here to conquer Subspace and let a horrible monster rule it!" yelled Pikachu.

"...What?"

"...Okay look, we're the good guys, the Smashers. Do you know who we are?" The Primid nodded. "Well, everyone who isn't a Smasher is there to wreck your shit."

"...Oh. I see now. Um... we need a permit from the current leader to form ranks."

Even Fox realized that there was going to be a problem. "Er... does this leader happen to be Crazy Hand?"

"Yes."

"_Fffffff_- okay. Just convince that guy to stop being himself and do something useful. Is there a way to close the portal?" said Pikachu, feeling discouraged.

"That power rests in Master Hand-"

"Yay!" cheered Fox.

"-and Crazy Hand. And Master Hand is still weak."

"Oh. I am disappoint." said Fox.

"We'll try our best to convince Crazy Hand to close the portal and fight this enemy you're talking about. If that doesn't work, we'll start evacuating." said the Primid, his image fizzing from the screen. Fox and Pikachu assumed that the Primid is probably running in circles, screaming that they're doomed.

* * *

"We're doomed!" screamed the Primid who contacted them, running down a _straight line_ into Master Hand's room. Master Hand was lying in bed, Crazy Hand reading him a bedtime story while Doc Prime was trying to kick him out.

"Sorry, visiting hours ended. Crazy, will you get out already!" yelled the doctor Primid, trying to drag him out of the room, to no avail.

"...so Madotsuki threw tomato juice at Lord English, and it made him sad..." recounted Crazy Hand, reading off a napkin.

"Tell me why you're here. _Please._ Anything but my brother's stories would make me feel great." said Master Hand.

"People have entered Subspace! This includes the Smashers-" said the Primid.

"That's splendid!"

"-along with an evil force trying to conquer us and the entire dimension." The pin dropped. Doc Prime fell on the floor, shocked by this news. Master Hand's eyes would be widening if he had some. Crazy Hand however kept reading, as if everything was right in the world.

"...then Uboa took Madotsuki, Buzz, Woody, and Harry Potter across the stars to Gruntilda's Lai-" Master Hand slapped Crazy Hand, stopping his ridiculous story.

"_You!_ I told you to not help out evil people if they're looking for the Dimensional Secrets, but you di- ARGH!" screamed Master Hand, falling on the bed. Crazy Hand was probably more concerned by his napkin story than his brother's health or the current situation.

"Don't over-exert yourself sir." said Doc Prime. His calmness evaporated as he became as panicked as the other Primid. "_OH GEEZ WHAT DO WE DO NOW!_"

"Okay, the Smashers asked us to close the gateway, but only the Hands have that power, and since the Master is too weak, it's all up to... gulp... Crazy." said the Primid. Everyone paused for a bit before turning toward Crazy Hand, waiting to hear what he has to say. The insane hand made a pointing gesture, in order to express his thoughtful idea...

"How about... we don't! Instead, let's fight these guys!" proposed Crazy Hand. Everyone else uber-frowned. That's normal frowning times a lot. Looks like :C. "Don't we already have a force built up?"

"Y-Yes, but we only put it together for a worst case scenario and wouldn't it be better to close the gateway to minimize casua-" opposed Doc Prime. Crazy responded by slapping him.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING! Anyway, prepare the troops, make weapons, let's go to war, ALLONSY!" And so Crazy Hand rocketed out of a window. Everyone's uber-frowns somehow got worse.

* * *

"...You know, this place looks nicer than last time. Maybe because no one's trying to kill us this time." commented Pit.

Snake looked up at one of the ships they were flying under. "That will happen. Just give it time."

"That's a terrible thing to say Snake." murmured Jigglypuff, feeling a lot less happy.

"It's true though."

BOOM!

"WHAT WAS THAT?" said Mr. Game and Watch.

Then they saw what made the noise; the Subspace Emissary arrived, and this time, they were on the Smashers' side. Not Tabuu's. Sorry Giygas, they don't love you anymore. In fact, they never loved to you. In fact, scratch that, I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself to be sorry for you. The Subspace people rode inside orb like vessels (those orb things that appear in Coin Launcher), flying toward Giygas' fleet. A sweet space battle quickly broke out, luckily, above the Smashers, so they weren't under fire. Unexpectedly, a Floow (aka the thing in everyone's nightmares) floated down, having noticed them.

"**ArE yOu ThE sMaShErS?**" asked the Floow in a terrifying voice.

"Y-Y-Yes." said everyone else in terrified voices.

"**...yOu SuRvIvE. oUr LeAdEr HaS rEqUeStEd FoR yOu To MeEt HiM.**"

"Please don't tell me it's Crazy Hand." muttered Falco.

**"nO. mAsTeR hAnD iS tHe OnE wHo ReQuIrEs YoU. hUrRy AlOnG. oR i WiLl ScReAm At YoU.**"

"WE'RE LEAVING WE'RE LEAVING!" screeched Mr. Game and Watch, speeding the chariot away from the scene, none of them too keen to listen to the Floow's screaming.

* * *

"SIR, A MESSAGE FOR YOU FROM LORD GIYGAS." announced a Starman inside the flagship. Mewtwo nodded as a giant screen displayed Giygas, who looked completely gleeful.

"Mewtwo, how is the progress?" he asked.

"Well, the Subspace Emissary decided to strike back, but oddly, they're not closing the gate. I assume that power lies with Crazy Hand, and considering how helpful he has been to us..." answered Mewtwo.

"I see. Although, if he finds out that I'm heading this attack, he'll flee like a coward, just like last time." said Giygas. "Are the rest of my lieutenants here as well?"

"Vaati got trapped and is getting beaten up by... Gyroids... _of all bloody things_, and Lucas is going to pick him up along with Link. Ridley, King Boo, and Jeff are heading here along with you. My Melee partners, minus Dr. Mario, and Porky and Tom Nook are present though."

"Fair enough. I wish for all of you to converge on me. I must teach you the ways of the realm..." The image closed out without any prompt by Mewtwo. For a brief moment, Mewtwo himself wondered how he even contacted him without, well, _anything_. But he assumed it was one of those horrible abomination powers he heard so much about.

* * *

"-so yeah, meet up at this huge building. Master Hand will be waiting for us the- watch you're flying!" yelled Falco on another video conference between the Smashers.

"SORRY, BUT WE'RE SORT OF IN A MIDDLE OF A WA-"

"I can fly way better than you, even if all of these ships were gunning for us! ...Oh right, later." said Falco. He closed his chat window.

"I hope Master Hand's not injured anymore." commented Nana before the Koopa Klown Car's camera turned off.

"Hey, maybe he'll be proud of me for not becoming a villain like the other Melee Smashers." chriped Young Link.

"Yeah! Maybe he'll let you become your own separate character again! Ooh, I hope he makes you into Skyward Sword Link, because that would be awe-" Kirby's happy rant was ended when the Warpstar got hit by a stray laser, knocking out the video feed. Fox spun around in his seat, happy to hear the news.

"Wow! Didja hear that? We finally get to see Master Hand again! Even better if the Ancient Minister joined in on the fun!" laughed Fox, excited to meet up with the others and their leader in person. Pikachu just stared at him. He heard about what happened to ROB from Jigglypuff, and he didn't have the heart to tell him.

"Yeah... I just hope that he could help fix Meta Knight." said Pikachu.

Fox frowned. "You never cared so much about Meta Knight until now."

"..._He saved my life you idiot!_"

"...Oh. Now I'm uber-frowning."

"That's not even a term! What idiot made up that word?"

Ahem.

"Oh." said Pikachu. "Hyper, I'm sorr-"

WELP LET'S MOVE ON TO THE NEXT SCENE.

* * *

"Sirs! I just got this fax from one of the enemy ships!" yelled Doc Prime, entering the hospital room, where Crazy was back once again. Since Crazy Hand was technical ruler, the doctor handed the fax to him.

**Dear leaders,**

**I'm back.**

**from,**  
**Tabuu/Giygas**

"...AAAAHIOORUSUHRYGSUUUUOOO!" I don't know what kind of scream was that, but Crazy Hand certainly screamed it. He floated out the window and snapped his fingers. Using his powers, a part of the purple darkness of Subspace opened up, creating a portal to a random universe. Crazy proceeded to fly through, wanting to get away from this deathtrap. Doc Prime pissed himself. If Crazy Hand of all people gets scared, you know something's up. He read the fax, started to fear for his life, and gave it to Master Hand.

"Oh. This is troubling." understated Master Hand. "I need the Smashers to get here... and fast..." He poised his fingers to snap...

"Sir! What are you doing!" screamed Doc Prime.

"Summoning them." said Master Hand, clicking his fingers together.

* * *

"Alright Ganondorf. That's-a enough." said Mario.

"But I haven't crushed Link yet!" yelled Ganondorf, shoving everyone inside the Koopa Klown Car, as they were trying to steal the controls from the angry gerudo. Link really wanted to put his sword through his skull again, but getting smashed into the ground wouldn't be pretty.

"Urgh... What are we doing..." said Ness, who had come to earlier, but was still a bit out of it.

"We're hoping that Ganondorf will be kind enough to stop trying to hurt one of our former friends." said Peach nonchalantly.

"Hey! We were never friends! Not now, not eve-" Then, a portal appeared directly in front of the Koopa Klown Car and it flew right in. The portal closed off, much to the relief of Link. Although he wanted to chase them down badly. Luckily for him (and unluckily for our heroes, but I don't care either way), a ship dropped out of the sky to pick him up. The door opened up, revealing a smiling Lucas and a brutally battered Vaati.

"Don't beat yourself up over not killing them Link." chirped Lucas. "They will all die sooner or later, haha..."

"Nice to see you too Lucas bro." He gave a noogie to his other crazed 'L' initialed comrade, prompting angry growling. He noticed Vaati's condition. "Hey, what's with you?"

"Me? Well, I was totally like in a huge battl-" lied Vaati.

"He got beaten up by Gyroids. From Animal Crossing." giggled Ashley from one of the ship's seats, holding an icepack to her head.

"Sheesh, can I ever be awesome in this story?" complained Vaati.

No.

"Thanks author. But mark my words, I will rise above the other Zelda villains and I shall become the best, and most certainly best-looking of them all! And I shall become the subject of fanart, not Ghirahim!" raged Vaati.

For once, Link had a sickened feeling. "Being the subject of fanart isn't neccesarily a good thing..."

Yeah. I actually found some disturbing fanart of Ashley when I was on tumblr.

"_What._" said Ashley, the ice on her head quickly melting.

"Shh... calm down. At least those fan-artists didn't ship us together. I know how much that makes you angry.~" said Lucas.

...What are you implying?

"GET OUT OF MY WAY OR I'LL MURDER YOUR ASSES!" yelled Link. Lucas and Vaati noticed that they were still standing in the doorway and they moved to allow him to enter. Before they could get anywhere however, a portal appeared above them and sucked them up.

* * *

Suddenly, all of the Smashers' vessels appeared at the doorstep of a giant building. The building was a technicolored palace, with carvings of Nintendo characters inscribed on the walls. And no, not just repeated carvings of select characters, but all of them. All the characters that appeared in Nintendo games and games by associated studios were lined on the walls. Truly this is the heart of the entire dimension. The Smashers wondered how they never seen such a building during their first romp through Subspace, but they had other things to deal with.

"How the hell did we get here!" screeched Falco, looking around in bewilderment.

The Koopa Klown Car was still moving and crashed into the building. Popo casually said, "Can we stop Ganondorf from driving_ everything_ ever again?"

"Man, I wanted to fight Giygas' minions. I made such a badass speech about it too..." said Pikachu, disappointed that his speech was pretty much wasted. I also apologize to everyone expecting a sweet battle, but I'll still make this chapter awesome. Or at least passable.

"Don't complain about it Pikachu. At least we won't die this way." said Olimar.

"Yes, you'll all be safe here, for now at least." The doors of the palace flew open and everyone looked in shock as Master Hand came outside, accompanied by his doctor. Like children excited to see their... father... they ran toward him.

"Glad to see you again sir." saluted Snake.

"I totally don't ship you with your brother!" said Nana, to the discomfort of pretty much everyone else.

"Hold on, you're still injured?" gasped Jigglypuff, noticing some bandages on him.

"Yes, he's still injured." explained Doc Prime. "When the being known as Tabuu took control of him, he also pumped powerful poison into his body to keep him sedated. If it weren't for Tabuu's apparent fondness for prolonging pain, he would have died immediately. However, he had so much poison inside of him that it did quite a number. In fact, I'm surprised he was still conscious after the whole incident." Fox and Pikachu glanced at each other, coming to the same idea.

"Hey, doctor guy. If you saved Master Hand, um, then can you help our friend? He was poisoned too." Fox exited the ship, carrying Meta Knight's body. Everyone, especially Kirby, freaked out to see Meta Knight in this state. Doc Prime took Meta Knight himself and nodded.

"I'll see what I can do." The doctor Primid took the body of the downed knight into the building. With him gone, Master Hand cleared his throat and proceeded to lay out what he has to say.

"You guys have to escape. The situation is hopeless." said Master Hand. Everyone paused before taking a step away from him, looking at him as if they never knew him.

"What do you mean?" asked Pikachu.

"It's Crazy. He was our one real hope. Unlike me in my current state or you guys, he has the power to create a whole armada of airships or robots if he wanted to, and that would only use some of his energy. If he was still here, he could easily create a force strong enough to fend off whatever the enemy could make here. However, when we recieved a fax from Tabuu... or should I say, Giygas..." Everyone but Pikachu and Fox widened their eyes in surprise. "...he was scared. He didn't want to end up like I did during his last hostile takeover, so he fled, just like last time. Only you guys can create from the creative energies of Subspace, but you won't be able to create too much. Meanwhile, the enemy can create a force that will easily annihilate us."

"...What do you mean by, 'creating'?" asked Fox. This wasn't his usual stupidity; everyone else was just as confused by the terms in his speech. Master Hand facepalmed... er... how does he do that? I don't know, you tell me.

"...Hold on, I'll get a tutorial."

* * *

Meanwhile, quite a ways from the Smashers, Giygas had just done the same thing; he summoned his lieutenants to him. Mewtwo, Porky, Tom Nook, Roy, and Pichu had just watched him create portals from nowhere in amazement.

"How did you do that! Can I make a flamethrower with it?" asked Roy.

"Yes. All of you can make anything you want, but life is not one of them." said Giygas. His summoned lieutenants exited from their ships to watch Giygas demonstrate. He closed his eyes, focused, and then, a piece of purple energy morphed into a flamethrower. He gave it to Roy, who was completely giddy while everyone else applauded. "You see, Subspace is the center of the dimension-"

"Duh. We already know that." said Jeff. Giygas created an anvil over Jeff's head, shutting him up. No, he's not dead. Just very quiet.

"As I was saying, the center of the dimension is where all things Nintendo originates. This purple energy is actually what created everything; it's in fact the representation of the creativity of Nintendo game developers, visionarys, fans creating original characters and doing world building and writing fanfics... As long as Nintendo lives on and those associated with it, the creative energy will continue to form, spreading out to create more and more... and we will take advantage of that."

"Um, question." said King Boo. "Won't those Subspace Emissary guys create things to fight us with?"

"Good question, but no. You see, the Subspace people are actually creations of Master Hand and Crazy Hand; they took roaming souls and placed them into these bodies. That fool Master Hand thought I was one of those roaming souls and... well, Porky already told you. Don't ask, I found out when I connected with your minds to share the secrets." Giygas glanced down on the roof of the flagship, looking at Porky in particular. he gave him a meek wave. "...Anywho, those who were directly created through that energy cannot create themselves. But all of us are special. We were directly created through the ideas of creators. We were simply birthed into existence as the energy created our worlds. As such, we can use that energy. And we will use that energy, to conquer the Subspace Emissary! With Crazy Hand out of the way, we can simply march through them and storm into their palace and take control of Subspace from the still weakened Master Hand! We will create portals into different universes, using weapons we have created! We shall create, conquer, and destroy!" All his minions gave a roaring cheer. Like Pikachu, Giygas certainly knows how to jazz up a crowd.

"Sir, how do we, um, create?" asked Mewtwo.

"Just close your eyes and focus. Imagine whatever you're making. As long as it's not a living thing with a soul, it can be made. There will be no limits to the destruction we will cause." Giygas grinned as he watched them imagine...

* * *

"...so Giygas and his forces can create anything at will. The only thing that limits them is the concept of life, their energy, and their own imaginations." said Master Hand, pointing at a slideshow. "Any questions?"

"Can't you-a just make your own-a things so we can beat-a them and, um, not get killed?" asked Luigi.

"I'm afriad I used whatever energy I still had to summon you all here, and I can tell that you're all pretty weak from all the fighting you've done. However, you're all still powerful enough to make simple portals. I don't want all of creating a portal to the same universe; Giygas can hunt you down more easily. I want you all to spread yourselves throughout the entire dimension. However, it's not necessarily the end. I want you all to build up your own forces to take on Giygas someday. But that day's not today." said Master Hand.

"Actually, Samus, Snake, and I started our own organization against Giygas in the Wind Waker universe." announced Pit.

"Ah yes, Samus. Quite a strong willed and resourceful woman. Together, I'm sure you can all build up some way to fight Giygas. But as I said, you shouldn't be fighting him for awhile." commented Master Hand. "Hold on; Snake, Falco.. what are you doing?"

The Smashers turned to look at the two fellows and saw them getting into two Arwing look-alikes; they most likely made those themselves using what they learned from the slidesh- er, tutorial. Yes, from now on, all slideshows are tutorials.

"A true soldier wouldn't retreat unless he knows it's truly the end." said Snake.

"Yeah, plus, we don't want to be wimps and run away early!" said Falco.

"Falco, what have I said about fighting people for no reason?" whined Fox. "This is why we had all these team proble-"

"Look, something shiny." said Falco, pointing off at a random direction. Fox predictably ran over to that spot as he started up his jets.

"Please don't do this!" begged Jigglypuff.

"Don't worry. We'll just create portals if we need a quick way out." said Snake.

Master Hand examined them. "Yes, you two certainly still have the energy to do that. Just be careful and get out if things get too dangerou-"

"What are you, our freakin' mom?" questioned Falco jokingly as he and Snake took off toward the fight.

"Yes... those two are certainly hot blooded. Hot-blooded, and brave." said Master Hand. He turned toward the others. "Now, the rest of you, create a portal and escape now."

"...No. Not without Meta Knight." said Fox.

"...Yeah. We're not leaving without him." said Pikachu.

"Me too! I won't leave until Meta Knight stops being dying!" said Kirby. That wasn't a typo. He said exactly that.

"...Us too." said Peach.

Master Hand looked down on the Smashers and seemed to have an air of pride. "You Smashers... you're all very much like a family."

"Yeah, and you're the father!" said Pit. Everyone sort of glared at him for ruining this moment.

* * *

Giygas ripped apart the Ultimate Chimera, which spawned along with everyone else, releasing Dr. Mario. "Finally! ...Oh hello. What is this?" The doctor looked at what everyone and what they had created. Mewtwo had several pokeballs, all of them doing a function like shocking whoever it touches and acting as a grenade. Vaati made a Falcon Blade from the Dragon Quest series, which allowed him to strike like the wind, which he really liked. Ridley... was chewing on muffins he made himself. King Boo also wasted his potential and had only made a new crown for himself. Ashley created a broomstick that could transform into a variety of weapons. Porky had crafted himself a new spider mech, except this time it had jetpacks. Lucas created rocket shoes and a new baseball bat. Jeff created a new mech as well, but it wasn't as ridiculous as Porky's. Tom Nook made a **FLYING BROOM OF AWESOME DEATH**. Link had a longer sword that was definitely not compensating for something along with a Roc's Cape. Pichu had an armed helicopter that ran on his own electricity... which was impractical considering that his moves hurts himself and, well, he could've made a helicopter that ran on it's own electricity. Roy also had a mech... that was completely on fire and is more impractical than Ridley, King Boo, and Pichu's creations combined. Dr. Mario, having heard Giygas' speech, imagined for a bit and found a medical saw with a propeller inside of it in his hands. "Yessssss."

Vaati looked at the saw. "...How do you expect to fly and use that thing?" Dr. Mario pointed the saw at him and Vaati was horrified as he shot a laser through his hat.

"It also shoots lasers." said Dr. Mario. It didn't answer his question, but everyone agreed that it was better than what Ridley and King Boo made.

"Hey, muffins are a perfectly great thing to make." defended Ridley.

"Sirs!" A Pig Mask ran on top of the ship. "Two Smashers have created Arwings and is mowing through the front of the fleet!"

"Well." said an amused Giygas. "Looks like some Smashers have found their potential too." He imagined as well and created a black and red sword his Giegue avatar can yield. "Let's conquer this sad pathetic place."

* * *

The Smashers sat inside of a clinic within the palace, waiting for news about Meta Knight. They all had feelings of hopelessness. If Master Hand, the guy who arranged the Smash Brother tournaments to train heroes to face all challenges, found the situation hopeless, than it must be true. Of course, Falco and Snake didn't believe that and wanted to make a last ditch effort, but they all knew that they'll lose. Master Hand brought in a radio, which they used to hear the status on the battle.

"Oh god, they have new weapons! The foot soldiers all have new and better guns now, and their leaders all have a new form of transportation with new weapons as well. It's only a matter of ti- WAIT! Two Arwings have entered the battle, maybe we have a chance after all!" said the radio.

"No you don't." said Pikachu cynically. Everyone glared at him, but they knew that he was right. Then, Doc Prime entered the room. Kirby immediately pounced on him.

"Is Meta okay? Did he die?_ Is he bald?_" asked Kirby.

"Well... I took the poison out of him and gave him our best healing items... but of course, I've been using the same items on Master Hand for quite awhile, but he's still weak. Luckily, your friend didn't have the poison in his system as long as him and not as much, so there's still hope for recovery." explained Doc Prime. Everyone cheered; one of the few bright spots in this disaster domino tragedy. Then, under his breath, he added, "Not sure when he'll wake up though. Maybe five hours, or a month or a decade."

Pikachu was the only one who heard him. "Wait, what?"

"Never you mind. Just make sure he gets into a comfortable bed. He'll need bed rest. A lot of it." said the doctor. Master Hand cleared his throat.

"Now that Meta Knight is fine, I want you to grab him and begin escap-" Master Hand was interrupted by a radio transmission.

"Ha! Take that Giygas!" laughed Falco.

* * *

Falco and Snake were brave (yet stupid) enough to fly toward Giygas. They had to do some superb dodging however to avoid his cronies, who were armed to the teeth. They got clipped by several shots, and even got some Pokeballs thrown at them, attaching themselves to their Arwings.

"...Pokeballs? Are they really using tha- ARGH!" Snake suddenly started screaming along with Falco; Mewtwo pressed a button and activated the fake Pokeballs, which proceeded to unleash an electrical attack on them. However, it didn't hurt too much, but it certainly threw them off. "Falco, you're flying straight toward Giygas."

"Ouch... so what? It's just... G-Giygas..." Falco continued to fly straight toward Giygas, even though he was terrified. "I made our Arwings with space titanium! I can outlast Giy-" Then, Giygas' Giegue avatar flew at him, sword in hand. Falco thought this was a joke and put his fingers on the trigger to fire... but then Giygas raised his sword and sliced off his Arwing wing. "_What._"

"You underestimated me." whispered Giygas with a hint of amusement. Falco's Arwing spiraled downward and crashed into Subspace's celestial ground. Falco crawled out of the wreckage and closed his eyes to imagine something else, but Porky's mech promptly dropped out of the sky.

"Nighty night!" said Porky in a mocking tone. He placed two of the mech's legs on Falco and sent an electrical current through them. Falco screamed as he was electrocuted into unconsciousness. Snake, seeing at least two of the mechas heading toward him, immediately turned tail.

* * *

"Falco is down." announced Snake on the radio. "He is unconscious and in their clutches now. I'm being chased by this... flaming thing and a mech piloted by some kid. The Subspace forces are starting to retreat. They don't want to lose too many men... We have to escape too. Pit, I'm going back to GAG headquarters. You head back too."

"Okay!" agreed Pit.

"HE CAN'T HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW?" pointed out Mr. Game and Watch.

"Whatever." said Pit. They heard a weird noise over the radio; presumably Snake created a portal and passed through it. Pit imagined for a bit and a portal to the Wind Waker universe opened up on one of the walls. "Wow. This is just like back in Uprising, where things started out happy and turned really dark... But hey, I still stopped the bad guys! And we will stop them one day too! I'll see you guys sometime!" He waved to the others as he passed through. Jigglypuff and Young Link got out of their seats.

"We're going to that GAG place too." said Jigglypuff. She imagined a single portal for both her and Young Link to pass through. "This is goodbye... I hope Falco will be okay..."

"Those GAG guys better apologize for almost lynching me. They sort of forgot about that. Well later." They both passed through as well. Kirby and Captain Olimar were next.

"Time to go back to your home Kirby." said Olimar. Kirby imagined up a gateway for them.

"Actually... I want you to get more Pikmin friends!" exclaimed Kirby.

"...What?"

"We're going to your universe! In you guys go!" Before Olimar could object, Kirby promptly shoved him and his Pikmin through. "Pikachu, Fox! Tell Meta I said bye!"

"We will!" said Fox. As Kirby left too, he said, "He didn't say bye to us..."

"Get over it Fox." muttered Pikachu.

Everyone but Fox and Pikachu were ready to go, but they couldn't agree on where to go.

"We can't all go to your universe Mr. Mario. You heard what Master Hand said." said Popo.

"Don't worry Mario, I'll be fine. I'm going to the Animal Crossing universe, and under the Universal Laws, that's a safe place." said Peach.

"I.. I hope you're-a right Peach." said Mario. He gave Peach one last hug before she took Ness' hand.

"Come on Ness, you'll be safe with me." said Peach.

"...Mother, is that you?" asked Ness loopily. Peach escorted him into the portal. Mario looked down at the floor forlornly.

"Don't be sad-a bro. You still have-a me, those kids, and Ganon- wait, where are you-a going?" asked Luigi. Ganondorf had made his own portal and was prepared to leave.

"I refuse to spend time with you idiots any longer! I'm going to rule an army... the Underworld army that is!" cackled Ganondorf. Mr. Game and Watch looked at the portal and recognized the Skyworld scenery.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" exclaimed Mr. Game and Watch. He made a portal to a random universe and shoved Ganondorf through that one instead. Everyone looked at Mr. Game and Watch.

"...Where did you just shove him to?" asked Master Hand.

"ER... I DON'T KNOW..." said Mr. Marty Stu, feeling embarrassed. "AND I'M NOT MR. MARTY STU! ...ANYWAY, THE PALUTENA LADY WOULD LIKE TO HEAR WHAT WENT DOWN. SO I'LL BE TAKING THIS ONE." And so Mr. Game and Watch left through the portal Ganondorf originally made.

"...Ganon was a downer anyway." said Popo.

"Yeah, I guess he-a was." said Mario. He turned toward Pikachu and Fox. "Stay safe you-a guys." Mario, Luigi, Popo, and Nana left to Mario's universe. Only Pikachu, Fox, and Master Hand were left in the room.

"...I can't believe it... all that shit we've been through... and all for nothing..." said Pikachu, trying not to tear up.

"...At least the story's almost over, like you wished." said Fox. Pikachu punched him in the face for that. Master Hand was not amused.

"Hey, no fighting each other outside of Brawl matches, remember?" said Master Hand, thinking back to before the Subspace Emissary incident and the start of the Brawl tournament.

"Tournament's over anyway." defended Pikachu.

"And the Ancient Minister did a lousy job at enforcing that... Ouch..." said Fox, rubbing his face.

"Ah yes, the Minister, or should I say ROB... the last of his kind... I wonder where he is now?" said Master Hand.

"Please don't." said Pikachu in a quiet voice, still refusing to cry.

"They're almost at the palace an- _ARGH!_" The poor sap who was on the radio was suddenly silenced. Instead, he was replaced by the menacing voice of a Starman. "MASTER HAND, YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" To fully cement they were doomed, the remaining occupants in the room heard a crashing noise outside. Doc Prime arrived with a gurney carrying Meta Knight.

"They'll be up here any second. You guys have to leave." said Doc Prime. Fox took the gurney and imagined being somewhere happy. A portal promptly appeared on the wall as they continued to hear loud noises from outside.

"Come on Pikachu! Think happy thoughts now!" said Fox cheerfully. He gave one last wave to Master Hand and his doctor before pushing Meta Knight through. Pikachu silently waved as well before leaving to safety.

"Fox and Pikachu... Two of my original Smashers... Those were the days. Fox may be an idiot now, but he's quite a capable driver and Pikachu may be a jerk, but he still has a strong heart and determination. ...I think they'll get along fine." said Master Hand. He turned to the doctor. "Doc, get a picture frame."

"...What." said Doc Prime, baffled by this request. "I think you've over-exerted yourself into delusions sir..."

"Just get it."

* * *

Giygas took control of his Giegue body, marching through the halls of the palace, his underlings trailing behind him. No one bothered to stop him anymore; they just hid as their new (or should I say old?) ruler passed by. Finally, in the hallway just before the clinic, Doc Prime appeared, holding a Beam Sword.

"You're not getting thro-" He was cut off as he was unceremoniously decapitated by Giygas' sword. All of the foot soldiers placed themselves at the ends of the hallway to make sure that Master Hand wouldn't escape while Giygas and his lieutenants visited him. He sliced the door apart, entering the clinic. He saw Master Hand simply floating there, facing them head on.

"It's been a long time." said Giygas. Part of his face smoked away, revealing the Tabuu face underneath. "I actually thought your forces would put up a better fight, but it looks like you failed." He laughed along with the rest of his minions. Master Hand took particular attention to Lucas and Link.

"Link... Lucas... what did they do to you?" said Master Hand. He looked at Giygas, angered. "A grand hero, one of my original Smashers, and an innocent boy... What did you do to turn them to your side?"

"Giygas did nothing except opening my mind. Sure, I suffered pain, but now I know the joys of killing! It's quite a fun thing, really." said Link, a maniacal grin on his face.

"My mind's been opened too." said Lucas, grinning too. "I've realized that all my so called loved ones don't love me, and that life... it's such a terrible thing..."

"I know! That's why I'm dead!" agreed King Boo.

"Ha ha... As you can see, we have two of your Smashers on our side. We have one in our clutches right now and we've already killed two. And now, let's move that body count up to three." Giygas pointed the sword at Master Hand. "Any last words?"

"Bye." Master Hand moved toward a painting on the wall, and to everyone's disbelief, he disappeared through it. The painting was actually a portal, which promptly dissolved, leaving just an empty picture frame.

"...You have to admit, that was pretty cool." said Porky. Everyone but Giygas agreed with him.

"...Oh, no matter. Subspace is ours now anyway. And now, we divide the spoils of this dimension." said Giygas."I assume you all remember the grades you've gotten?"

"Yeah. Did I get a good grade, please tell me I did." said Ridley.

"Yes, you got a decent grade." sighed Giygas. "I imposed grades on you all to see who deserves more territory to rule. The people with the highest grades get more universes to rule, while the oens with lower grades get to rule the least." His underlings nodded. It was a somewhat fair way to divide the spoils. King Boo of course, knowing that he was probably given a bad grade, objected to this.

"Hey, what do I get?" asked King Boo.

"Ah yes. You my friend are a special case." Giygas leaned in toward him. Everyone else hoped that he was finally killing him. "I want you to prove yourself. We now have unlimited resoruces at our disposal... and I want you to use those resources to conquer your universe. If you conquer it, you truly deserve to be among the rest of us."

"...Wait, seriously? You know how big that place i-"

"Either that or_ I can just kill you right now._" said Giygas.

"That's fair."

* * *

Ganondorf groaned, getting up from the ground of wherever he landed in. Then, he realized that there was something in his lap.

"Pup?" said the Lillipup in his lap.

"...Mother of god." said Ganondorf. He looked around and saw that he was surrounded by Pokemon. At first, he was surprised. But then, he grinned when an evil plan came to mind...

* * *

Master Hand arrived in a snowy place. He was not quite sure if he was in the Ice Climber's universe or in a snow filled place in some other universe. He didn't care. He was just glad that he evacuated almost all of his Smashers from Subspace. He went to sleep right then and there, to regain strength for the fight to come...

* * *

Fox and Pikachu spawned... in the sky. They fell down, screaming. Fox landed in a bush while Pikachu landed on a rock. To add insult to injury, Meta Knight landed on him too. Pikachu groggily got up to see where Fox wished them to... and saw that they were directly outside Kirby's house. Pikachu looked around, seeing the happy hills of Dreamland around them. He couldn't deny it. This place was fun and happy. Fox got up, walked over to Kirby's house, and swung his door open.

"Kirby won't mind, right?" asked Fox. Pikachu entered the house behind him, carrying Meta Knight. Fox was checking the fridge for food. Predictably, there was none. "Are there any Dream Dollars around here? Wait, is that even a real currency?"

"Don't know, don't care." murmured Pikachu. He dragged Meta Knight over to Kirby's bed and placed Meta Knight in it. Finally, he took off his mask. Meta Knight's Kirby like face looked peaceful when sleeping. Pikachu rememebred the last time they took off his mask and how hilarious and painful it was. Now, it wasn't hilarious and it was emotionally painful instead. Pikachu joined with Fox, who was sitting on the couch, looking at Kirby's TV with a lost expression.

"So, since Kirby and Olimar aren't here, this is our house now I guess." stated Fox.

"Yeah. I guess." agreed Pikachu.

"...Wait a minute..." Fox became excited. "Now we can all be roommates! It's like being friends, except you live together! This is going to be awesome!" He ran around the lliving room, stating things they could do together and things they could do with Meta Knight if he ever wakes up. Pikachu smiled. At least one of them was happy. "So Pikachu! What do we do now?"

"...I dont know Fox. I don't know..."

* * *

**3 weeks later.**

* * *

Paula and Poo walked carefully through Threed, looking around for Starmen, Pig Masks, or the crazed loons that's been increasing in a surprising rate. Before Ness had set out to the center of the dimension, he took the time to rescue his friends. When the coast was clear, they moved on to hide behind the next building.

"You know, I still can't believe that Jeff joined up with Giygas. Utterly dishonorable." said Poo.

"Well, we did sort of treat him badly..." said Paula.

"That's because he constantly belittles Nintendo. I even heard that the people on Giygas' side hate him for that."

Speaking of Jeff, he was at the Empire Pork Building look alike in the remodeled Fourside. He was on the top floor, spending time with Porky, and no, that's not what I mean yaoi fangirls. They were playing a game of checkers to pass the time, since they didn't have much to do at the moment (okay there's the whole inter-dimensional take over thing but they weren't interested right now); they chose checkers specifically because if they played a Nintendo game, they both knew that Jeff would became part of the pavement at the end of the day.

"Check. I win." said Jeff, capturing Porky's last piece.

"...I HATE THIS GAME!" yelled Porky. He clicked a button and his new spider mech dropped out of the ceiling. It fired a laser at the checkerboard, burning it to a crisp. "I wish Ness was here. At least we would play games _we both liked!_"

"...Wait, if you hate checkers, then why do you have a checkerboard?" aked Jeff.

"...Spider mech, go kick his face out the window!" commanded the angry fat spider kid. The spider mech walked toward Jeff threateningly. The cyborg boy chose to fly out instead of letting the spider robot push out.

* * *

The princess and the psychic that belonged to the universe the scene was focused on before walked through the village carefully. In the past week, a Pigmask Colonel and a high ranking Starman moved in. They knew that they couldn't fight or hurt each other, but the newcomers could and would kidnap them. They entered Nookington's to do a bit of shopping. When they got there, they actually saw that Tom Nook was present in his original store for once.

"Well, if it isn't the Smashers. Here to do some shopping? Or here to pay off some of your debt?" asked Tom Nook. Since he technically owned Peach's house, he added another mortage payment to it. It was more like insurance than anything. If she didn't pay it off, then they were sure to be evicted and swept away in the middle of night. Yes, I just made Tom Nook ten times more diabolical than he already is. Hmm? No, that fanfic doesn't count. I don't believe Gyroids have the power to morph people into animals. Pshaw. ...Hold on, they count pshaw as a word but not Jeff? Weird.

"Go get yourself bandages Ness dear." said Peach, while glaring at Nook. Ness silently nodded, limping away. Lucas had injured him pretty badly. Ness meanwhile had been silent ever since the incident at the center of the dimension.

"Anyway princess, I have a special deal for you. If you help out a friend of mine, I'll take 30,000 bells off your debt." explained Nook. That would pretty much take off a tenth of their current debt, but Peach, even though she wanted to take the offer, was still suspicious.

"What do you need?"

"_BEAUTY TIPS!_" yelled Vaati, popping out from behind the counter. "Please, your hair is flawless! _TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!_"

"...As long as Nook doesn't add more to my mortage." said Peach, looking at Nook with a mocking look. Vaati looked at Tom Nook pleadingly, and the tanooki decided to accept the deal, for Vaati's hair's sake.

* * *

Half of the Mushroom Kingdom was now covered in the red clouds of the fake Giygas. A Giygas bomb had also been detonated inside a volcano, as King Boo expected for the volcano to erupt and spread red clouds everywhere. Except that plan was ridiculously stupid and did not work at all. Boo hoo. Get it? Boos? Forget it, puns are lame. Anyway, Mario, Luigi, Popo, and Nana moved over to Delfino Island, where they were graciously accepted, leaving Bowser Jr to rule his own castle once again. It was all fun and games there. Until King Boo decided to stage an attack.

"Mr. Mario, King Boo's outside our house again." said Nana in an utterly bored tone while she was writing fan fics on a computer.

"I'll get it." said the red capped plumber. He went outside and saw that King Boo was in Delfino Plaza, terrifying the populace in a giant, flying mech, while wielding the Falcon Blade, which he totally didn't steal from Vaati.

"Hey Mario! I would rule the universe if I totally wanted to, but I need to get rid of you first! That's what Bowser did in the first Paper Mario game, right?" the Boo king asked another Boo attendant. "...Oh wait, Mario still won that time? Oh. Well... er... I'll do better than him! I hid the self destruct button somewhere you would never find it!" The mech stomped down... and exploded, because the self destruct button was on it's feet. The Toad Brigade leader casually walked by, eating a donut. Yes, it's even gotten to the point where Toads aren't kicking and screaming.

"King Boo again?" he asked.

"Curses! Foiled again!" cried out King Boo as he floated off into the sky, which answered his question. Other than King Boo and the attendant who was forced to come along, no one was hurt.

"Mario! A piece of flying metal came out the window and hit Luigi!" cried out Popo from inside the house.

Okay, no one was hurt but Luigi. But could you really put it past him?

* * *

The Pikmin universe was not affected by Giygas' reach yet, but it was still dangerous for Olimar and Kirby. They've spent time traversing the land, rebuilding Olimar's Pikmin forces. According to Universal Laws, Kirby was forced to be the same size as Olimar, but he was happy, since that meant he could freely eat the creatures they come across, and it would actually be filling.

"Alright, everyone back!" said the small space captain, calling his Pikmin over. They had just finished beating up a gang of dwarf Bulborbs. "Kirby, you may eat if you want."

"Really? Yay, you're the best!" cheered the now small puffball. He started his suction and sucked up the Bulborbs... as well as some Purple Pikmin who were too slow to join up with the others.

"Oh god! Madotsuki! Masada! Poniko! Urotsuki! Aoshiru! Why are you so cruel author?" cried Olimar.

Becaue I need a laugh and that never gets old.

"You're the absolute worse!"

* * *

Ashley and Lucas walked down the street, having just been to the home of a protester leader to 'remind' them that speaking out against the new regime was a dumb idea. Everyone they came across either saluted them, or hid inside their homes in panic.

"Red is such a glorious color. The blood on my bat when we visited that guy... the pain you cause me... oh, and your dress. Such a pretty color..." said the crazy boy. His handler didn't respond. She briefly pointed her wand at a soda machine and a can of soda shot out. She offered it to him. "Oh... you want me to open it for you?"

"No, it's for you. Please take it easy. You're becoming more psychotic than Dr. Mario and Link." stated Ashley. Lucas, knowing how those two are much crazier than him, silently accepted the offer. "I remember back before I fully converted you. You were so scared... it used to be... cute. Like a puppy, except you don't stab puppies. Even I wouldn't do that."

"...I-I can act scared again if you wish..."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't have anymore reason to exist. Other than making you happy."

Ashley paused, realizing that perhaps she took things too far. "I... I'm going to get you help. I can't stand to see you like this anymore, no matter how much it pleases me."

"...Do... do you c-care about me?"

She sighed, but she was smiling a bit. "...Suppose I do... now come on. We have one more house to hit. But if you yell, '_Yay, murder!_', again, I'll be taking that soda back."

* * *

"Hey, did you all hear the news?" said Peppy. He entered the crew's rec room, breathing heavily.

"Why? Is there a huge problem going on?" aske Krystal.

"Depends on your definition of 'problem'. General Pepper's been replaced!" announced Peppy. Krystal, Slippy, and ROB 64 looked at him in shock (except ROB 64 technically since robots don't have feelings; except ROB). He looked for the remote and turned on the tv. It showed a newscaster, along with a picture of General Pepper in the corner.

"General Pepper resigned for unknown reasons late last night. This was followed by the mysterious resignation of the commander last week. Although he hasn't been seen yet, the commander goes by the name of Giegue. The space senator for Corneria was also replaced by a man named Mewtwo, who has only appeared on occasion. We are definitely sure that these are simply coincidences. However, we now have a live video feed of the new general." said the newscaster. A box appeared on the screen and expanded, showing what I assume is a purple dragon on the screen, wearing a nice general's cap.

"Hello Lylat System, my name is Ridley, and I'm not sure what species I am!" said General Ridley. "I swear I'll do a swell job at protecting this universe. Solar system. Whatever. Oh, by the way, if you see red clouds, ignore it. It's probably just the northern lights! Ha ha!"

The StarFox crew looked at each other, the same questions on their minds: what are the northern lights?

* * *

"Ladies. Gentlemen. Monsters. Humans. Hylians. I am here to address all of you today." said Samus. She was at Windfall Island (or at least what's left of it anyway), addressing a large crowd of people along with Snake, Pit, Young Link, and Jigglypuff. "Just a month ago, some of Giygas' forces arrived. We managed to beat them, but they had not only gained what they wanted, but they burnt this island to the ground. Then, a week after that, my lieutenants, Snake and Pit, confronted Giygas' full forces head on with several other comrades. However, they failed."

"Just to make it clear, I can only fly for five minutes, so I sort of had a reaso-" said Pit. he was silenced when Samus shot a missile into the air.

"Quiet. Anyway, Giygas' victory now allows him reign over the entire dimension. Recently, more and more red puffs of cloud have fallen out of the sky, poisoning people, infecting their minds. Pit here can turn them into fairies to heal the wounded, but even he's not powerful enough to purify all of it. Luckily for us, Giygas himself hasn't entered this universe yet. We must take this chance to form ranks against him. We must be prepared for the inevitable. Snake?"

"On it." said the mercernary. He took out a bazooka and fired something into the sky (much to the fear of the crowd, who feared sorcery like bazookas and cars). Then, papers started floating down, all of them saying the same thing: "Join G. A. G."

"Together, we can combat the threat that is Giygas when he arrives! We'll one day find a way to traverse to the other universes he's infected and brainwashed! We will fight him and save this dimension! Who's with us?" To no surprise, the entire crowd cheered. Giygas, Pikachu, and her seriously make great speeches.

Meanwhile, a group of certain furry creatures sat in the very back.

"So that Giygas douchebag's coming here to mess with the peace, huh?" said Sheldon.

"Sir, please don't get involved." sighed Jefferson.

"But we have to! Because, um, space! We might go to space again!" said Andrew.

"Yeah. And dis' is the boss of da' guy who brainwashed us that one time." reminded Joey.

"Dear lord, if you guys plan on getting revenge again..." complained Andrew.

* * *

"LADY PALUTENA?" called out the 2-D man, entering the goddess' chambers. He found her staring out of a window. "IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? YOU HAVEN'T TROLLED ANYONE ALL DAY!"

"...Mr. Game and Watch, I can feel something... ominous. It feels as if the Underworld is brewing again... but this time, under the reigns of a new master." said Lady Palutena. "I can't quite peg it, but I can hear this name in my dreams... Giegue I think? Does that ring a bell?"

Unfortunately, Mr. Game and Watch didn't know Giygas' alternate name was Giegue, so he said, "NO."

"...Well, I shouldn't be standing around depressed! I'm going to find a way to cheer myself up!" said the goddess, smiling. "...Hey, there's something on your shoe."

"I'M NOT WEARING SHOE- OH GOD WHAT IS THAT!" screamed Mr. Game and Watch. He had looked down and saw that there was a tarantula on his foot. He ran out of the room screaming while Palutena laughed. To me, she's simultaneously the best and worst supporting good character of all time.

* * *

Pichu was in his universe, causing chaos; he was running around, fighting random wild Pokemon so he can get more EXP. He had created a large stock of those PP replenishing drinks, so he could practically go fighting all day if he wanted. But then, he noticed a shadow being cast over him.

"Great. Another Arbok. You're EXP's no good, so go away. Can't you see I'm level grinding so I can kick a certain someone's... butt?" The inferior rat turned around and saw that the shadow did not belong to an Arbok, or any kind of Pokemon. Instead, he saw Ganondorf standing over him. His armor had a giant white U painted onto it. His face was showing an evil grin.

"Well, well. What do we have here?" Ganondorf picked up Pichu by the tail. "I don't appreciate you Giygas jerks treading on Team Umbra territory."

Before Pichu shocked him, he had to risk a question. "What's Team Umbra?"

"My newest world domination scheme." said Ganondorf. "And I will be taking this universe, not Giygas." Before Pichu reacted, Ganondorf lifted his leg and kicked Pichu into the horizon. If Team Plasma was here, they would be pissed. Without Pichu taking out all the wild Pokemon, Ganondorf can now freely capture the Pokemon himself. Although he didn't mention it, his team only consisted of him at the moment. But he had a plan: Step 1, build up a Pokemon team everyone will fear. Step 2, find followers. Step 3, become Pokemon champion of whatever region he's in. Step 4, he wasn't quite sure yet. But Step 5 means WORLD DOMINATION!

He's still working on it.

* * *

Fox and Pikachu have been living in Kirby's house for quite awhile. They did their shopping at Nookington's (somehow still not realizing the connection with Tom Nook), and ate dinner, giving Meta knight liquidized food. Speaking of Meta Knight, he still has not awakened yet. The most they could do for him was keeping him alive. Separated from the universes they actually belonged to, Fox and Pikachu spent their days exploring Dreamland and watching TV, becoming fans of, 'Do You Want to Be a Popstar?' (wow, did I actually make a good pun?). Everything was mostly quiet and peaceful... until one morning...

"Hey Pikachu... are you making bacon?" asked Fox as he woke up.

"...No..." Pikachu got up as well, rubbed his eyes... and saw that there was a fire outside of the house. "OH GOD!" They quickly went to action, getting some buckets of water and running outside, throwing them onto the flames. They wondered who had caused the fire in the first place...

"Hello." The voice was the chilling voice they wished they would forget. Behind them, they saw Giygas, along with Dr. Mario, Link, and Roy, who was holding a molotov and grinning.

"...This is a dream. I am dreaming, right Pikachu?" asked Fox. Link promptly punched him in the face, showing that this is indeed real life.

"So sorry. This is real." giggled Link. Pikachu wanted to maul him badly, but remembered that there were more pressing matters to attend to.

"Why are you here?" asked Pikachu.

"Well, I'm here to cut you a deal. I assume Meta Knight is still in a coma?" The look on Fox and Pikachu's faces told him yes. "Oh good. I'm glad that the competent one is out of the way. So, here's the deal. I no longer have a reason to fight you Smashers, unless you still want to stand against us. If you agree to never raise a finger against us, you will not be destroyed, and I will delay invasion of this universe."

"...Wouldn't it be easier to invade right now, since you're already here?" asked Fox.

"Oh no. I wish to start my invasion with something proper. Something big enough to emotionally affect you two. But that won't be happening for awhile. Of course, you can attempt to fight me right now. But my entourage here will kill you faster before I will." said Giygas. Dr. Mario took out a needle filled with a familiar substance while Link showed off his sweet new sword. "And then, Roy here will burn down this house, with your friend Meta Knight in it. So, **_what will it be?_**"

The two considered their options. They realized that there were only two and one of them was dying. Pikachu growled. "Fine. We won't fight."

"Excellent." Giygas turned around to go back through the portal, but briefly glanced back, a crooked smile on his face. "Be sure to relay that to your knight friend. If he ever wakes up that is."

"Wait, so we're not killing them?" said Dr. Mario in a disappointed tone.

"Get over it. There's still a lot of other things you guys can kill and burn." muttered Giygas. His entourage followed after him, grumbling to themselves. Fox and Pikachu were left alone again. They stood there for a few minutes, speechless. Finally, Fox spoke up.

"Would they be disappointed? You know, Meta Knight, Master Hand, the Ancient Minister... would they be disappointed in us?" asked Fox.

Pikachu shook his head. "Meta Knight would just be glad that we're okay, and you heard Master Hand. We should fight him later. One day, but not today. And the Minister... ROB... he'd probably say the same thing."

"Well... you know what." said Fox. "We shouldn't be down in the dumps! We should be happy! Well, until Giygas invades that is!" He now had a cheerful face on. "Hey, Meta Knight needs more soup. I bet I can beat you to the store!"

Pikachu grinned. "You're on." The two started to race, planning to spend the rest of their happy days being friends and doing friendship... things. Yeah, I don't know what friends do.

* * *

Mewtwo strolled into his personal office, situated within Subspace. While Giygas planned to leave the Smashers alone now, he and the other Melee Smashers still had plans for them. Especially for the traitor Young Link. He had spent some time torturing Falco a bit. Unlike Lucas and Link though, he refused to break. He even somehow managed to kick him. But Mewtwo planned to turn him to their side someday. While he would be doing that, he would be ordering people around, to ensure takeover of the entire dimension much, much faster. Mewtwo used some of his free time to imagine things into his office, and imagined himself up some coffee to drink. He sat at his desk to relax a bit when he noticed a folder on his desk.

"Hello, what's this?"

**Operation: You're Next Sony and Microsoft**

The file was apparently sent to him by Giygas. Mewtwo casually flipped through the folder and read the contents, grinning evilly. "Giygas, you brilliant bastard..."

* * *

_To be continued... in The War Against Giygas..._

* * *

**_Hey Hyper._**

_Hmm? Giygas? What are you doing here?_

**_You have some free time now, right? With the dead parent and all._**

_...Yes... that sort of offended me..._

**_Well why don't you use that free time to re-read Chapter 30? Go on. I guarantee it will be a good read..._**

* * *

**_Real Author Notes_**

* * *

_It. Is. Done. I remember starting this story more than a year ago. Actually, I remember starting it more than two years ago. But I erased the original version and re-started it, and voila, we have this. I love to thank all of you for reading this story from beginning to end, and I'm sorry if you're disappointed by the downer ending (BTW, the last part was hinted at in Chapter 14). I actually planned a sequel from the very beginning, but it was originally going to end on a more cracky note. And as you can see, the story ended up turning more serious. I just hope that some of you still found it funny. Curse you Cerebus Syndrome! **CURSE YOU!**_

_The sequel, The War Against Giygas, will not start up for quite awhile. But the tentative starting date is Winter 2012. That gives me plenty of time to write other things. And as you notice, AOG 100 Themes is about halfway through all hundred themes. I actually planned to write 50 pieces for Attack of Giygas, and the other 50 for War Against Giygas. I am such an evil person. And as said before, I will be primarily focusing on The Normals until the sequel. I'll also be writing some one-shots that I listed on my profile, so yay, expect that! I'll also be writing another fully fledged story, but you'll just have to wait to find out what it's about. I assure you that it will also be a crack story. Just for a different fandom. But here's a hint: it has nothing to do with pumpkins. Oh yeah, and that Halloween thing? Yeah, I'll consider finishing it now. But first, I must watch Gurren Lagann so I know how to write Kamina. Even though I'm a fan of anime, I'm sorry to say that I haven't watched it yet. All I know is that Kamina and Captain Falcon are both awesome, end of discussion._

_And now, for the notes... oh right. The story is over. Silly me. ...I'm going to miss those._

_And I'll give one last thanks to the people who favorited this story: Autistic, Cam is for Camera, Diabolos, Dj-Nero, Dormouse of Dreams, Douglas14141, Durppie, Electra Flare, Flametix, GiygaShade, Leafblaze-the-Snivy, PK Love Omega, rainbowkitteh, Souldin, and StarrySkyKnight. You're all awesome, along with the people who don't favorite this but read it anyway! Welp, see you guys in the next thing I write, whether it be another chapter of The Normals, or a one-shot with dumb timey-wimey stuff._

_Allonsy!_

_-**HyperInuyasha**_


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